In or Out: Julianne Moore in Bottega Veneta

Posted on August 22, 2011

Julianne, we apologize ahead of time for the poor angle on these shots.

Julianne Moore at “What’s On The Table”, an event to combat hunger hosted by Vanity Fair and the United Way of NYC in Sagaponack, New York in Bottega Veneta.

Bottega Veneta Resort 2012 Collection/Model: Model Hanne Gaby Odiele

But you should apologize for making a public appearance looking like this. You’re on stage, girl. It’s not like you just had to wave at the photographers on the way in, YOU’RE ON STAGE LOOKING LIKE YOU JUST CAME FROM YOUR SPINNING CLASS.Why is your face so shiny and colorless? Why is your hair such a tight little bird’s nest?

The dress is really cute but it sure as hell wouldn’t be our choice. It turned her into a brick, shape-wise. Besides, the hem’s all screwed up in the front. As we like to say, when one of us is heading out not looking so great, and in the immortal words of Marlene Dietrich: “You’we a mess, honey.”

We refuse to be dogmatic about pedicures. As long as your feet are buffed and your nails are clean, you’re good to go as far as sandals are concerned. Applying rules to ladies’ toes is a bridge too far for us, but the commentariat is usually pretty strict about it. Although those shoes are about as unflattering as shoes can get. They make her look like she has duck feet.

It’s amazing to us that a woman as attractive as she is, with access to the kinds of items and services that she has, routinely goes out looking so bad. We’d say “fire your gays” but looking at this mess, we find it hard to believe she has any. “Hire some gays” is more like it.


IN! I’m legally blind!

OUT! Get back in your limo; the hungry can wait.

Voting is still open on Rihanna’s “P is for Perfume” monstrosity.


[Photo Credit: Mike Coppola/WireImage for Vanity Fair,]

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