Darlings, as you may have noticed, September has brought with it a metric fuck-tonne of red carpet content (you’ll pardon us), which means in order for us to render opinions on the maximum number of looks for your entertainment, we’re going to have to start bundling people up in larger and larger groups.
In other words, line up, Shmemmys peeps. It may not be the main event, but there’s a red carpet with celebrities on it, which means we are compelled to opinionate.
Tasteful, but probably too underplayed. The white thing at the waist is distracting.
Angela Bassett in Romona Keveza
Nothing wrong here.
Brooks Laich and Julianne Hough (in Rami Al Ali)
He looks hot. She’s okay, but the dress is kind of Barbie-generic.
Emily V. Gordon and Kumail Nanjiani
Cutest Couple award winners.
His tux is flawless. Her dress is nice, but the detailing in the bodice and waist are a little distracting.
Fancy nightgown with an undefined waist and button gap? Oh, honey, no.
We expect wacky from her, but the colors are kind of dreary for it.
Laverne Cox in Mikael D
SUH-LAY, queen. Mama didn’t come here tonight to fool around.
Leah Remini in Giambattista Valli
Girl, give this one back to Elle Fanning. Twee is so very not in your wheelhouse.
Forever doable, but the fit on that thing’s a little off.
Bow the fuck down to the Empress of Foundation Garments and the Princess of Poise. Also, the dress is pretty great too.
If this was in a deep, rich color and the hem went all the way to the floor, we think we could be on board.
Zosia Mamet (in Miu Miu) and Evan Jonigkeit
Check you out, Disco Queen! Now if we could only get you to feather your hair and put on sparkle eyeshadow, you’ll be good to go. He looks alright.
[Photo Credit: INSTARImages.com, Getty Images]