Congratulations to Julia Roberts for becoming the WORLD’S MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN again!
There are none more beautiful.
A brief history of Julia Roberts’ BEAUTIFUL tenure:
1967: Julia Roberts is born. Receives no accolades about her beauty. Yet.
1968-1990: Julia Roberts continues to exist in a pupal pre-fame state, in which her beauty goes unremarked-upon by billions.
1991: WORLD’S MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN Achievement Unlocked!
1992: A return to lesser beauty.
1993-1999: Famous, but not beautiful on a world-class level.
2000: WORLD’S MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN re-achieved!
2005: Conquers the WORLD’S MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN mountain for a THIRD time!
2010: Becomes WORLD’S MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN again. Gives blood-curdling roar of triumph. Bites head off Sandra Bullock doll.
2011- 2016: The Dark Years.
2017: Once again, standing on the broken bodies of her lessers, Queen Julia of Beauty Mountain re-ascends to her throne as the WORLD’S MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. Peace in our time.
This is such a silly goddamn “tradition.”
[Photo Credit: People Magazine]