Miss Universe 2015, Part 2: Good Girls and Supervillains!

Posted on December 21, 2015

Part 1 is here, darlings. In Part 2, various good and morally upright young women band together in fear of The Legion of Evil Vamps.



Miss Bulgaria

“Hello! I am good girl, like all Bulgarian women. I honor my mother by wearing this costume and my grandmother because we used her notions basket to make it.”


Miss India

“HAHAHA! Miss India LAUGHS at weak Bulgarian girls. My golden leaf snake eats folk costumes for breakfast! HAHAHAHAHA!”


Miss Czech Republic

“I feel so pretty when I’m drained of any sinful colors.”


Miss Croatia

“Please. You must realize. I am good girl. Homosexual men insisted I wear this. They say I am bad girl deep down but I think they are just shallow bitches who have the anonymous sex.”


Miss Albania

“Give it a rest, Croatia. There’s nothing wrong with a red dress. Now, a red dress with a big fucking eagle on it, that shit is BADASS.”


Miss Paraguay

“Yeeeeesssss, girls. That’s it. Fight amongst yourselves. Feel the anger building as I wield my Mighty Staff With a Big Red Blob on it. Paraguay will emerge victorious astride the smoking ruins of your silly folk costumes and outmoded moral codes.”


 Miss Greece


Miss France

*mic drop*


Miss Italy

“Behold! I am the Empress of Italian Tile Flooring! KNEEL BEFORE ME! On your cheap, unItalian floors, which are no doubt going to ruin your knees and cause back problems. MWA-HAHAHAHA!”


Miss South Africa

“South Africa will bow to no cheap Italian floor-monger! TO ME, SHIELD-WOMEN!”


Miss Korea

“So… uh… yeah. Here’s my dress. It’s … pretty big and … traditional, I guess.”


Miss Indonesia

The Warrior Queen of Indonesia cannot deal with simpering girls in sensible dresses right now. Kill them all.”


Miss Lebanon

“ALAKAZAM, Indonesia. You are now a boring old lady.

Oh, I’m sorry. Someone already seems to have cast that spell on you.”


Miss Slovak

“You guys, I don’t want any trouble. I just want to wear my pretty dress and my flower crown and represent my family, country and God, okay? We don’t have to fight.”


Miss Vietnam

“There, there, Miss Slovak. No good will come of histrionics. So long as you do not interfere with the will of Lady Vietnam, we shall have no need to quarrel and I will not be forced to us my mind powers on you. Now, I believe my henchmen will take over from here.”


Miss Norway

“Miss Bulgaria’s a slut!”


[Photo Credit: Richard D. Salyer, Patrick Prather]

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  • Capt. Renault

    Why did Miss Paraguay kill Papa Smurf?

    • MartyBellerMask


    • Gayer Than Thou

      The Smurfs know why.

    • Jackie4g

      Gee, I thought that was the gopher from Caddyshack, and sitting on a pole was the only gig he could get.

    • LondonMarriott

      Read my mind!

    • Lucía Gavello

      LOL! I’m going to be the boring truth bomber: it’s a phrygian cap, a symbol of liberty, it’s in Argentina’s coat of arms too so we spent many a day in elementary school making smurfs jokes.

      • miskell

        Oh snap! did not catch that we have one as well (Nicaragua).

      • throwslikeagirl

        A phrygian cap? Sounds ( and kinda looks ) like a birth control device.

        • Lucía Gavello

          Hahahahahaha so true!

    • lovelyivy

      This was my question as well, on “the twitter”.

    • picarica

      Why the heck not?

  • steph

    Poor Miss Bulgaria with her broken neck and all.

  • oscarandjeeves

    Is…………is that a Peep on Miss Paraguay’s sceptre-thing?

    • Pennymac

      A sad, melted, bedazzled peep!

    • #glitterpeep

    • tryinnottobetoojudgy

      And a weird golden head on her head…..Valdemort, is that you???

      • MK03

        She’s modeling a costume from the Paraguayan premiere of The Lion King. 😛

        • Inspector_Gidget

          Yeah I just noticed a lion is eating her brain. Awesome.

        • CT14

          I saw that and “The Circle of LIIIIIIIIIIFE!” started bleating in my head.

    • Eva_baby

      The Sorting Hat?

    • MsMajestyk

      I thought it was Mickey’s wizard hat from Fantasia.

    • J_M

      It is a phrygian cap, a symbol of freedom and rebellion against slavery/tyranny (inherited from the ‘pileus’, the cap worn by emancipated slaves in ancient Rome).

  • Pennymac

    Miss Indonesia’s costume is going to haunt my nightmares!
    (Vietnam and Albania are both bad ass)

    • random_poster

      Those are my two favorites.

  • Marie

    Much respect to Miss Vietnam, who managed the trifecta of gorgeous, traditional, AND completely nuts! Bravo!

    • MacrameTrumpToupee

      I would non-ironically wear both that dress and Miss Albania’s. I am neither Vietnamese nor Albanian, but I feel like I could maybe channel their powers through those incredible clothes.

    • Mr. Ellie Pooh

      Agree! I’m glad I’m not the only one who loves her dress.

  • “shallow bitches who have the anonymous sex” is my aesthetic.

  • sugarkane105

    Miss Vietnam killin’ it.

  • Karen B

    Miss South Africa is here to paaaaaaarty!!!! (and Greece, Norway, Vietnam, and Korea are here to chaperone)

  • Anna

    Miss Vietnam’s is FLAMAZING. That is actually gorgeous, from the headpiece to the dress itself. And of course, the epic side-eye.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      She is best in show in this group.

    • ireneY

      She has my vote!

    • Linzenberg

      I would willingly be her be-catsuited henchwoman, to be thrown by the hero into a lava pit whilst protecting my lady, natch.

  • DesertDweller79

    I’m loving Miss Vietnam! Love, love, love. It is the perfect blend of gorgeous and insane.

  • NBG

    Miss Vietnam is the nemesis in the all-female Bond film that exists in my head. And she’s killing it.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I’d love to see that movie. I’d especially love to see it if, at the end of the movie, she wins.

    • AnneElliot

      I would pay SO MUCH MONEY to see this.

  • kalisa

    I think I saw Miss Paraguay’s outfit in last year’s Mardi Gras parade.

  • Tee

    The winner this round is Miss Lebanon for bringing Lucy Ricardo cattiness. Lucy and Ethel were fighting on Ethel’s birthday. Lucy left her by saying “happy birthday Ethel, I hope you live another 75 years!”

  • kbshee

    I can’t stop wondering how they carried all their STUFF on a plane.

    • GemFemme

      Their evil henchmen carted it by secret underground tunnels and lairs.

    • Sanglots longs

      That was my first thought, too! They must have shipped it months in advance via camel train or boat.

    • CanIbeFrank

      I read something about that a couple of years ago and how it’s a problem–a very expensive problem to not only get thee costume created, but to get it shipped, intact. It costs a fortune.

      Miss Norway’s, on the other hand, was probably in her carry-on bag.

  • Frank_821

    Miss Vietnam is fabulously evil. Please tell me she won best costume

    and that picture of Miss Korea is priceless

  • Vietnam is a jaw dropper but all the love for that hella-big head dress from Indonesia.

    • VCR1

      It’s insane isn’t it? How on earth does it stay on her head? It’s an engineering marvel!

      • alyce1213

        How does she not fall over?

  • Gatto Nero

    Did Miss Slovak buy her cheap flower crown from this year’s Project Runway winner?
    (I’ve forgotten her name already …)

    • frannyprof

      Jinx! Ashley Nell Tipton!

  • Nicholas


    • Mrs. Julien


  • Frank_821

    I just found out who won best cosstume. damn the girl wore a 90s Thierry Mugler-esque creation

    • MK03

      So who was it?

      • Jangle57

        Miss Thailand. She was dressed like a tuk tuk (some kind of mode of transporation)

  • Mrs. Julien

    Ms. Vietnam looks FIERCE!

  • tryinnottobetoojudgy

    Miss Vietnam will not brook your silliness. Guards!

  • ashtangajunkie

    Miss Vietnam. Wow.

  • NJBK

    Miss Lebanon-2015 graduate of Hogwarts school of Belly Dance!

    • Inspector_Gidget

      With a pinch of the Sea Hag from Popeye. Also, best caption ever.

  • tryinnottobetoojudgy

    I believe Miss Greece got into the ouzo.

    • Bethany Joy


  • MK03

    In all seriousness, I would wear Albania’s dress. And OMG MISS VIETNAM

  • tryinnottobetoojudgy

    Inside Miss India’s head: All of the beautiful gorgeous clothing that Indian women wear, in vibrant jewel-tones, with unbelievablly intricate embroidery in golden thread, and this monotone plastic crap is what my gays come up with? I gotta get some new gays.

  • Leandra

    Miss Paraguay IS the next Disney villain

  • DeniseSchipani

    Miss Indonesia and Miss India are going to have some spinal compression issues. Jesus.

  • Stacy C

    Legit logistics questions: 1) How do they SHIP those things?!? and 2) How do they walk through the halls and doors?!? lol

    • shirab

      And god forbid they should have to pee…

      • Heather

        Sadly, they’re probably all so amped up on diruetics that they haven’t peed for 3 days.

  • GemFemme

    How did Ms. Indonesia not weeble wobble with that headress?

  • DesertDweller79

    Miss Vietnam totally has henchmen. Totally. Uncles, you nailed it.

  • GemFemme

    Where do I apply to be one of Ms. South Africa’s Shield Women?

  • evave2

    I live for Miss Indonesia. Stuff just got real.

  • Luca

    poor miss Lebanon, that’s a quite humuliating dress!

    I appreciate the on-point reinvention of the Albanian flag in her dress, surprisingly tasteful. Also like, in a tongue-in-cheek kind of way, the mosaic of Theodora (I suppose?) on the Italian dress.

    But Vietnam slays them all, great dress and attitude.

    • Frank_821

      Miss France’s dress was bad and tacky and not in the fun drag queen kind of way

      • 3boysful

        It’s like they weren’t sure anyone would see the Eiffel Tower, so at the last minute, they slapped on some sparkly Eiffel Tower stickers from Michael’s scrapbooking section so we’d all get it.

      • Little_Olive

        Don’t the French ALWAYS half-ass this costume? Evidently, it’s on purpose. Like it’s beneath them.
        I’d say have a sense of humor, but this time it may be a bit distasteful. It didn’t have to be so fug, though.

    • Nerka2

      I see Paris, I see France
      I see Tom and Lorenzo’s underpants!
      (Buy those Mack Weldon’s people!)

    • I can tell they really wanted to do a serious tribute, but being drag queen costume designers, they didn’t know how to do it any other way.

  • rubyclaire

    I am in awe of Miss Paraguay’s majestic costume with red dust mop.

  • marlie

    Miss Vietnam’s costume is actually very pretty.

  • Liz

    Are we sure that’s not a crystal covered red giant Peep marshmallow?

  • Glam Dixie

    I just keep imagining them all trying to maneuver around backstage, turning sideways to get by things, crashing into things and catching parts of their costumes on some other girls costume as it goes past…this show needs a blooper reel.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Imagine how big Miss Indonesia’s headdress was before she ran into the ductwork and broke part of it off!

      • Glam Dixie

        Right? I can see it all so clearly.

  • mimi

    jesus, these costumes must be absurdly heavy. miss india, my back hurts just looking at her.

  • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

    Is Miss Lebanon auditioning for The Bensonhurst Community Theater production of Kismet?

  • Dandesun

    I covet Miss Vietnam’s entire outfit. All of it. Want it so much! Wouldn’t fit into the dress but I would absolutely wear that headpiece in the bath.

  • Joanna

    OMG, Miss Croatia – PERFECTION!!!!

  • frannyprof

    MIss Slovak stole her headpiece from Ashley Tipton.

  • Pepper Pan

    Am I the only one who thought “VAGINA SHIELD” at the sight of Miss South Africa?

  • jilly_d

    I love Miss Indonesia’s costume, but it looks like they got so busy with the big dragon head that they forgot to make her pants. “Here – just put on these leggings. No one will notice, right?”

  • Miss B.

    Miss Viet Nam for the win! Beautiful, dramatic and not at all silly!

  • Miss B.

    I only wish Miss India had come out as Kali Durga.

  • aileenfairycat

    Miss Lebanon and Miss Norway, as clearly both on their way to Renaissance faires.

    Miss Paraguay is for some reason is carrying a giant Peep or a giant Poop, only she knows why and everyone is scared to ask.

    Miss Indonesia, clearly is giving everyone the evil eyes, or going to crush them under the weight of her accessories.

  • EEKstl

    Miss Vietnam is actually rocking it, including that headdress.

    • MilaXX

      Agreed, Miss Vietnam wins this round.

  • Judy_J

    France killed me.

  • Tracy_Flick

    Miss Paraguay seems to have beheaded Papa Smurf.

  • cousinelizabeth

    This dialogue writing is just perfection. Also, I love Miss Vietnam entire gorgeous outfit, love it.

  • Nerka2

    Miss France, Mrs. Slocum understands. She likes to show off her pussy too.

  • Shawn EH

    Miss Indonesia is already a dragon, and Miss Paraguay is a jaguar that brought its own food on a stick!

  • Bland Gland

    Miss Albania is the new Queen of the North. Bring her Cersei’s head.

  • GregoireNYC

    Vietnam and Albania are actually wearing beautiful dresses. Surprised to see garments of actual beauty here.

  • Kaonashi

    I love Vietnam and Albania. There dresses give a nod to their culture while remaining elegant. For the wilder costumes I adore Miss India and her golden leaf snake.

  • Ashleigh

    Miss Vietnam is KILLING IT

  • “Please. You must realize. I am good girl. Homosexual men insisted I wear this. They say I am bad girl deep down but I think they are just shallow bitches who have the anonymous sex.”

    Well played with Miss France, who probably could have gotten the message across without the arm stickers.

    Damn, Miss Vietnam!

  • bitchybitchybitchy

    LOVING Miss Indonesia’s headdress.
    I would have added a pair odd huge black wings to Miss Bulgaria

  • Trixie A. Cooper

    Albania and Vietnam ftw.

    • Little_Olive

      I kinda want Miss Albania’s dress.

  • Winterlight

    Miss Korea is probably hiding a huge sword in that hanbok.

    Sheer bodysuits are an abomination before the Lord.

  • quiltrx

    Miss Indonesia–BLAM!! For sheer size and terror, she’s tops.
    Miss Vietnam is, thus far, my favorite. Combination of truly gorgeous gown and truly fierce fire-eating-bitch-level headdress.

  • MissAmynae

    Miss Vietnam wins hands-down. That is absolutely stunning.

  • Tarquin

    Miss Vietnam’s dress is actually rather beautiful.

  • portlandmermaid

    Miss Vietnam and Miss Italy for the win.

  • myristica_fragrans

    i loved miss korea and miss vietnam. they were so pretty without being weird, even though i love all the crazy costumes the central/south americans wear.

  • Yuju Ti

    Miss Vietnam’s dress is actually quite pretty! Or am I suffering from Tim Gunn’s so-called monkey house syndrome?

  • Carrie E S

    Miss Italy is totally Katy Perry’s doppelganger.