Heidi Klum in Azzaro Couture at the 2015 amfAR New York Gala

Posted on February 12, 2015

We’ve been saying it about Heidi for so long, we don’t know if there’s anything left to say.

You know what? Let’s try the totally complimentary route, which will be hard, because this dress is outrageously tacky.

Uh… the “totally complimentary” part will commence now, obvs.

Heidi-Klum-amfAR-Gala-2015-Red-Carpet-Fashion-Azarro-Couture-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Heidi Klum attends the 2015 amfAR New York Gala at Cipriani Wall Street in New York City in an Azarro couture dress paired with Chistian Louboutin pumps and Harry Winston jewelry.

Heidi-Klum-amfAR-Gala-2015-Red-Carpet-Fashion-Azarro-Couture-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)Azzaro Fall 2014 Couture Collection

Heidi-Klum-amfAR-Gala-2015-Red-Carpet-Fashion-Azarro-Couture-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Heidi-Klum-amfAR-Gala-2015-Red-Carpet-Fashion-Azarro-Couture-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Heidi-Klum-amfAR-Gala-2015-Red-Carpet-Fashion-Azarro-Couture-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (5)

Heidi-Klum-amfAR-Gala-2015-Red-Carpet-Fashion-Azarro-Couture-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (6)

Hoo. Okay, here we go. Compliments.

1) She’s extremely consistent in her style choices. She knows what she can work and what works for her and that hasn’t changed in almost 20 years.

2) She manages #1 while avoiding looking too dated in her style.

3) She knows how to have fun with her style. She is, after all, wearing a bath mat coat.

4) She’s still got it and she’s going to continue to take it out for a drive while she still can. Can’t fault her for that.

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: AO IMAGES/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES, Getty Images, Azzaro]

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  • Latin Buddy

    I love that she has transitioned from a bra/panties model to a “personality” Isn’t that what every model aspires to do?

  • LadyVimes

    Well…Heidi will be Heidi.

  • Raspberry2012

    Oh that dress is just a disaster. I mean, true, she’s got the looks to rock it, and she’s going to, whether we like it or not. But I’m trying to picture into something that would be classified as “tasteful” for her.

  • Bethany Mavronicles

    Oh, here go hell come.

    • He used to come to the Starbucks where I worked every day. It killed me not to say that whenever I handed him his drink. What really hurt more, though, was I was literally the only person that worked there who knew who he was! So I’d just mutter it to myself like a loony and then go on with my shift. Daily.

      • BayTampaBay

        Who are you talking about?

        • Bethany Mavronicles

          Him. Calvin Tran. Working with people.

          • I wish you’d been a barista with me…

          • scoobysnacks

            I forgot about Calvin Tran and my life was worse for it. I remember that moment now. It made me so happy.

      • Bethany Mavronicles

        Thank you, The Soup for brining him into my life and lexicon.

  • Anna

    What did The Fraggles ever do to you, Heidi?

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      Somewhere the other Muppets are hiding and quaking in here that Ms. Klum is packing a pair of shears and a lust for faux fur.

  • HomeOfficeGirl

    Supermodels can NOT make anything look good, but they can look good in anything, apparently.

  • Massive of course. I don’t know though, if I had her body and confidence I might wear three napkins tied together with string. If it makes her feel good, then good for her. Why not wear a see through, bedazzled merge sign? Go for it.

    • jillybean

      “bedazzled merge sign” – hahahahahaaaa!!

      • GemFemme

        I see an upside down tuning fork.

        • CPT_Doom

          “This way to my happy place”. Dear Lord.

    • AnnaleighBelle

      I saw it as a frothing champagne bottle. I’m festive that way.

  • MilaXX

    Pretty she may be but that is one tacky outfit. I thought the dress was horrible by itself, but adding that coat to it made it even worse.

    • See, I almost prefer it with the coat. It covers parts of the dress, and the less I have to see of it the better I feel.

      • higgledypiggledy

        If she closed the coat entirely so we couldn’t see the dress anymore at all, it would be even better. The coat is fun!

      • bitchybitchybitchy

        Now I’m sad that Rihanna wore that nifty coat in L.A. That coat would have covered this dress completely and then we could have given Heidi a few snaps for a cute look.

    • minnye

      I don’t know… to me, the coat completes the look and cranks it up to Liberace level. Which somehow works for me.

      • Tara

        I agree. Without the coat, it’s smh, “Srsly?” But *with* the coat, it’s like, “Oh, no, not srsly. This is a joke.”

  • Sanglots longs

    It’s just not that great a dress–Heidi could do so much better. Not just that it’s a bit tacky, but the weird illusions of nakedness plus the odd black hole right in the middle makes you wonder if she’s disintegrating from the inside.

    • Nancy Arseneault-Heald

      It looks like hair under the dress… Is it low chest hair? Or a really high pubic patch gone completely out of control? We may never know…

  • BWAHAHAHAHAA THAT COAT!

    Oh my goodness, I was kind of meh on the dress, but that fucking coat SLAYED me!

    • Marph

      Speaking of SLAYED, I wonder how many Muppets died to make that coat. RIP.

  • TinyDynamo

    You do you, Heidi. Tight & shiny on, you crazy diamond!

    • SunDevilWitch

      You forgot short!

  • Agnes Gooch

    She looks better in that dress than the model does. How often do we get to say that?

    • But… Heidi Klum is a model!

      • Agnes Gooch

        Please tell me you are also being ironic and that I don’t have to parse this out for you.

    • rh33

      Think, Agnes! Think! Love, love, love that movie.

      • Agnes Gooch

        It’s my favorite pick-me-up!

  • Sarah

    When she’s standing in front of the white wall, if you blur your eyes, you can pretend she’s a stick figure with a glittery leotard on.

  • Twigg

    The dress may actually be cute if it was several inches longer and the mirror/jewels were more consistent throughout the dress.

    • BayTampaBay

      I agree! The biggest problem I have with this dress is the length.

  • 3boysful

    OK, so I think we all agree the dress is a tacky mess. My question is: Do they never look at the photos afterwards and consider that it may be time to dial the self-tanner back from oompah-loompah?

    • kimmeister

      I think their publicists must only let them see photos (and the internet) through rose-colored glasses.

    • Leah Elzinga

      it’s soooo aging, not to mention dated. Obviously she’s gorgeous and she’s got the legs of a baby giraffe, but that tanner is doing her face and arms NO favors. There are women considerably younger than Heidi, arguably less genetically gifted that look a lot younger because they don’t borrow their skin tone from Palm Springs retirees.

  • Frank_821

    Part of me thinks Heidi wore this because, it’s exactly what people expect her to wear. She still looks banging. Being the goofball that she is, I think she knows how people people will respond to this tacky thing

  • Beardslee

    Here’s another compliment. She always looks like she’s having a good time and thinks her clothes are fun. No “it’s hip to be negative” for Heidi Klum.

  • kimmeister

    That last shot makes me so nervous. She’s literally a millimeter from showing the good china.

  • Little_Olive

    #2 is starting to fail, IMO

  • Anna Daugherty

    And she’ll always have her amazing Halloween costumes to lure me back.

  • Wink

    When I saw the thumbnail, I thought she was Gwyneth.

  • Kent Roby

    The more that dress is covered up by the coat, the better it looks.

  • CT14

    I don’t like her hair.

    All is better with the bathmat, though. It takes it completely into crazyville.

  • Karen Belgrad

    I know Heidi loves Halloween, but isn’t it a little early in 2015 to be trying on her Nancy Kerrigan costume?

    • CPT_Doom

      “Why! Why!” Applies to Ms. Kerrigan’s injuries and Ms. Klum’s sartorial choices.

  • stellavision

    I mean…why bother lining it? Why not just wear a flesh-toned pair of undies and call it a day?

    • Alyssa

      I’m not sure it is lined…you can see shadows of skin meeting in that last photo…

  • lifeisastory

    That looks like a project runway one-day challenge. Wouldn’t surprise me to learn all those mirrored bits were hot glued on.

  • susan6

    “Short, tight and shiny is the fastest way to look cheap.”
    That dress looks like an advertisement for Drano or some other de-clogger.

  • Meredith

    i like the complimentary route, its more hilarious.

  • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

    The dress is too weird. I can’t.

  • joancarol

    Dear Lord, she’s wearing a tuning fork.

  • Grumpy Girl

    Although her hair is shiny and a good color for her, it looks undone. (I cannot rest my eyes on thr dress and coat without causing further retinal damage.)

  • decormaven

    Is it a coat? A cape with arms? A vest with sleeves? The uncles got it right – it’s a bath mat. What a hoot!

  • rubyclaire

    She looks like she has a split digestive tract.

    • decormaven

      I Am Joe’s Digestive Tract.

    • Vanessa Reyes-Weber

      I was just going to say it looks like a diagram of what it looks like when you swallow glass and where it goes.

  • In_Stitches

    It looks less tacky than it has a right to, I’ll give it that.

  • Beto

    Another UGH! it is beyond me why she’s a judge on a fashion contest reality show.

  • papillon

    I think there’s a way to do short, tight and shiny while still looking good. This is not the way, Heidi.

  • tryinnottobetoojudgy

    Good lord. Are those strips sheer and are we seeing the shadow of groinage in that last picture? If so, that is not cool, Heidi. But *hugs and kisses* because I love you and think you’re one helluva woman. I almost never love your RC looks, but I almost always love your street looks, and I thank you for the endless fun that has been Project Runway over the years.

    • Judy_J

      Sad that we live in a world where “groinage” is a thing.

    • Alyssa

      Pretty sure they’re sheer, which ups the tacky level.

      • tryinnottobetoojudgy

        Yup. If they’re sheer, that’s not a good look for a mommy of four. Heck, not a good look for anyone.

  • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

    Isn’t is funny how she and Brooke Shields both wore white to this event? They could be twins!

    • Fancy Mukluks

      *snort*

  • marlie

    The dress isn’t so bad (on the Heidi Scale), but the coat… No. I’m just not ok with a coat made out of a shag carpet.

  • Lily

    Lawdy but I need those Louboutins.

    • Alyssa

      Me too!!!

  • FibonacciSequins

    That’s So Heidi.

    • JauntyJohn

      PLEASE let that be a TV Series: “That’s So Heidi” and make it about… omg, the mind boggles.

  • NWMothra

    That’s a pretty unattractive dress.
    That said, all I can think about is the Man from U.N.C.L.E. post today. And it’s only Thursday.

    • AnguaVonUberwald

      Right? I keep thinking I need to go watch that preview again. Again.

  • scoobysnacks

    Given the placement and shape of the white fabric near her crotch, it sorta looks like an arrow pointing the way to a room of vagina fun house mirrors.

    • Terri Ellis

      This way to the mirror cooch room!

  • B_C_J

    My one compliment: she’s wearing the dress better than the model.

  • Diane Beckert

    It looks like she has been dieting and working out too much.

  • Kat Cassidy

    Is it just me, or is Ms. Klum looking a little more frail than usual? Like a sexy, tan skeleton.

  • Nathan

    I laughed out loud when I saw the thumbnail. This is one of the most Heidi dresses she’s ever worn. I laughed again when I saw her in the coat. Well, at least she knows how to get attention.

  • hillmad

    What is that black dowsing stick made of? What is it for?

    • Fancy Mukluks

      The shattered dreams of Project Runway losers.

  • Lilithcat

    That is one of the strangest dresses I’ve seen in a long time. And her hair looks awful!

    The coat, on the other hand, is fun, and I want it.

  • mdcoon127

    Could somebody get her a hairstylist? I know she likes the beachy waves look, but it looks on her with this stylist like a non washed, non combed mess…

    • numenah

      The color! That horrible greenish tinge!

  • AndieJay

    This looks like a “well, I have this big hole in the middle of my torso, might as well show it off” dress.

  • poorellensmith

    “Tacky” doesn’t even BEGIN to describe it. And I don’t know why she insists on wearing things that so consistently obscure her waist — she ends up looking straight and boxy so much of the time, and she’s obviously got curves under there…

  • ashtangajunkie

    It’s all so bad, but it makes me smile anyway. She’s tacky and delightful.

  • Terri Terri

    Blinged out tuning fork!

  • Fancy Mukluks

    How many virgins were sacrificed to get her legs to look that flawless?

  • greyhoundgirl

    Oh my God that’s so ugly (is the first thing I thought).

  • Teresa Wyatt

    She is gorgeous no matter what she wears. Years of PR has made me love her cause she makes me smile

  • OffToSeeHim

    Oh for God’s sake Heidi.

  • Susan Crawford

    So that odd glitter pattern . . . looks like a secret code rune found on a spaceship at Roswell . . . but it’s definitely in La Kluminator’s wheelhouse. And then . . . the Yeti-fur coat? Awesome, Heidi. Just what we all expect from you, grrrll!

  • Dane Dame

    What Antonio Gaudi would have put together if he designed dresses instead of architecture.

    • Monabel

      I’m afraid you are overly optimistic. Gaudi would do much better.

      • Dane Dame

        LOL, you’re probably right!

  • patticake1601

    I don’t think the dress is bad. But that snuffleupagus coat….noooooooo.

  • Yoshio

    more nude lips…ugh

  • Good Shot Green

    What are those circles on her arm? Certainly not track marks.

  • Imasewsure

    That coat sold it for me. Yes she looks stupid but I still kind of dig it (For Heidi Only). Fun Crazy is still fun after all

  • Janet B

    She has good looking legs.

  • Ind Prod

    Aw, hell, if you have legs like that, go for it. No one’s looking at the dress anyway.

  • livesarah

    Gee you guys are good. I honestly got stuck and all I could come up with was ‘nice legs’. The rest of the outfit I would burn, and get her a new, less yellow hair colour.

  • MaryMcClelland

    I just love the juxtaposition between event and garment. She is wearing THIS to AmFar. Come hell or high hemline, here comes Heidi!

  • I. Um. What. Is that sheer illusion netting, bedazzled to cover up her abdomen? Holding up a tiny little white loincloth? Um. What. Um.

    • And then she threw a sheepskin rug over it. Was this the result of a PR Ikea challenge? Like, somebody wanted to construct a dress out of fabric they ripped off a fabulous white ottoman, but realized they didn’t have enough so they added some strips of gauzy curtain and a mirror they smashed for “interest.”

      Or conversely, she’s a slutty ice-skater who gets off on “accidentally” flashing her cooch. All arabesques, all the time.

  • quiltrx

    Very tactful, Uncles. Treat yourself to a cupcake.
    I think this dress goes beyond ‘For Models Only’ (obviously, she is one) and straight into ‘For the Runway Only, and Even There It Looks Like Trash.”

  • lobsterlen

    For reasons I don’t understand …the thing that came to mind when I saw the design on Heidi’s dress was dissected frog. Why that jumped into my head I have no idea but once I saw that dissected frog I couldn’t unsee it.

    • JP

      Reverse autopsy Y-cut — that’s what I thought the second I saw it, so I’ll sit next to you. 😉

      • lobsterlen

        Ha I can see that too now. However the pinned frog in the dissecting pan still comes to mind. I think its the mirror pattern reminds me of a frog too. LOL and other Kittens saw turning forks! You and I do need sit together because we went to a “dark” place from looking at a tacky micro dress that Heidi was wearing.

  • Natalie

    The bath mat looks really comfy, honestly. For, you know, lounging around my apartment when I have a cold.

    • Ali2044

      It’s a rich people Snuggie.

  • collhi

    I was seriously deliberating about the dress…until she paired it with the Abominable Snowman coat, and I just threw up my hands in surrender.

  • Joan Kunze

    Hair…oh how I long for some variation…not just with this here dame….all so much of a muchness…blah de blah….from the neck up so many of them seem the same…like cardboard cutouts…am aching for some fabulous style cuts….simply ACHING!

  • DeTrop

    I don’t know why, but I love the bath mat look. Friends of mine did this back in the 70’s, using a real mat, and it blew everyone away. I think we’re just a tad tired of Miss HK and don’t give her props for being true to herself. She’s so pretty and did she lose weight? She has the figure of an ingenue. Go girl.

  • Therese Bohn

    Captain Kirk, you next conquest awaits…

  • FrauKrissie

    Ahhhh it started out cute, then it turned into a diagram of the digestive system. Explains why models are so thin, though.

  • Cynica

    Short, tight, shiny, and see through. I think she’s covered all her style points here.

  • Dawgknot4

    Ok, let’s be clear that she would look bangin’ hot wearing a throw rug. But, the more that I looked at the dress, that center panel on the front of the skirt made me think of Seal.

  • ThaliaMenninger

    HAHAHAHA… I thought the dress was hideous and then I saw the muppet… HAHAHAHAHA!

  • MissAmynae

    FFS, this is the AMFAR Gala!!! Have a tiny bit of class, woman, put the legs away. Ugh.

  • Luv the dress…. Not the coat. At least not with that dress!

  • Miss Molly

    It’s like I like the dress as an art piece, but not as a piece of clothing.

  • Cindy Bartlett Zigler

    That dress – no. Way too boxy for her figure. She looks like an aspiring high class German hooker.

  • Ann VerWiebe

    I want to see her wear this when she’s a grandma.