Miss Universe National Costumes 2014, Part 2: Virgins & Brides!

Posted on January 23, 2015

Miss Austria
6-63rd-Miss-Universe-National-Costume-Show-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-Miss-Austria

“Austria is proud to stand with the good girls, FAR AWAY from sluts in bird costumes!”

 

 

Miss Sweden
77-63rd-Miss-Universe-National-Costume-Show-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-Miss-Sweden

“Swedes are the world’s leading practitioners of judging others, like Austrian peasants in old prom dresses.”

 

 

Miss Ethiopia
25-63rd-Miss-Universe-National-Costume-Show-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-Miss-Ethiopia

“Sweden, get the candles out of your head, girl. You look like a pedophile pin-up.”

 

 

Miss Kenya
47-63rd-Miss-Universe-National-Costume-Show-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-Miss-Kenya

“WHO WANTS TO MARRY THIS?”

 

 

Miss Puerto Rico
67-63rd-Miss-Universe-National-Costume-Show-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-Miss-Puerto Rico

“Forget it, Kenya. My bride game is ON POINT.”

 

 

Miss Finland
26-63rd-Miss-Universe-National-Costume-Show-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-Miss-Finland 2

“Oh, honey. Aren’t you adorable.”

 

 

Miss Russia
68-63rd-Miss-Universe-National-Costume-Show-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-Miss-Russia

“Girl, don’t even.”

 

 

Miss Kazakhstan
46-63rd-Miss-Universe-National-Costume-Show-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-Miss-Kazakhstan

“Kazakh women understand truth. Men don’t want wimpy sex-phobes on wedding night. Men want stone-cold GODDESS. We give.”

 

 

Miss Lithuania
51-63rd-Miss-Universe-National-Costume-Show-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-Miss-Lithuania

“Bitch come back to me when the groom can see your panties from the back of the church, all right?”
 
 

Miss Philippines
64-63rd-Miss-Universe-National-Costume-Show-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-Miss-Philippines

“Why are you locked-knees so afraid of a little color?”
 
 

Miss Ukraine
84-63rd-Miss-Universe-National-Costume-Show-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-Miss-Ukraine

“In Ukraine, brides are also vampires.”

 

 

Miss Hungary
38-63rd-Miss-Universe-National-Costume-Show-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-Miss-Hungary

“Hungary invites you to stroke its bunny.”
 
 

Miss Georgia

29-63rd-Miss-Universe-National-Costume-Show-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-Miss-Georgia
“Shins are sinful and lady parts should always be swathed in yards of brocade and velvet in order to prevent entry.”

 

 

Miss Portugal
66-63rd-Miss-Universe-National-Costume-Show-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-Miss-Portugal

“Come on, you guys. My grandmother made this. Stop laughing! She died!”

 

 

Miss Norway
60-63rd-Miss-Universe-National-Costume-Show-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-Miss-

“In Norway, this is lingerie. Dead serious. It’s fucking cold there.”

 

 

Miss Italy
43-63rd-Miss-Universe-National-Costume-Show-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-Miss-Italy

“I don’t know… I’m Juliet, I guess? Apparently Italy ran out of cultural figures.”

 

 

Miss Turkey
82-63rd-Miss-Universe-National-Costume-Show-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-Miss-Turkey

“Oh my God, I know, right? The shit my mother puts me in to keep me a virgin.”

 

 

Miss Albania
1-63rd-Miss-Universe-National-Costume-Show-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-Miss-Albania

“Enough with vulgar gold-diggers and prostitutes. Albania knows how good girl is supposed to dress. Just look at thick hosiery and confusing skirt.”

 

 

Miss Bulgaria
12-63rd-Miss-Universe-National-Costume-Show-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-Miss-Bulgaria

“Albania’s a whore.”

 

 

Miss Dominican Republic
21-63rd-Miss-Universe-National-Costume-Show-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-Miss-Dominican Republic

 “Ladies, PLEASE. All y’all need to get your ass in a cab and GO HOME.”

 
 Continue on to Part 3: Warriors, Goddesses & Queens!

 
 
 

[Photo Credit: Darren Decker, Patrick Prather, Richard D. Salyer/Miss Universe]

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