Tom Mison at FOX’s SLEEPY HOLLOW-een Pumpkin Patch

This is a man who literally has no frickin clue what he’s doing.

PinTom Mison attends FOX’s SLEEPY HOLLOW-een Pumpkin Patch at Saint Mark’s Church Green Market in New York City.

Pin

Pin

Pin

Pin

Sweet Hammer of Oprah, this is awful. This is like the most advanced case of hiding the hotness we may have ever seen. This is chronic hiding the hotness. We may need to do triage just to staunch the flow until we can get him on a course of style antibiotics and fashion fluids. Someone get us a quarantine tent and a Gold card.

In case you’re all “T Lo? What’s the biggie? Looks like a cute, nerdy hipster guy to me.” You would be forgiven for thinking that, of course, but “cute nerd” is not what God intended for this man.

This is what God intended for him:

Pin Pin

And since we don’t live in 1780 or so, Tom needs to find himself a way to take the essence of this look and update it for himself.

First: grow the hair out and the beard out just a bit more. It’ll only be to your benefit, Tom. Do it right now. We’ll wait. Second: you need to look at more structured, fitted clothing for yourself, even in casual situations. A fitted corduroy blazer or pea coat would be the perfect modern, simple way to grab yourself some of that Ichabod realness for your street style. Third: unless you are hosting a children’s show, there is no need to be photographed in that footwear. No sneakers or canvas shoes for public appearances, mkay? Not even casual appearances. Shoes or boots, we don’t care, but you need to be working leather or suede on those feet, mister. The pants are fine. You were made for skinny pants. The top is only appropriate for weekend trips to Home Depot. Never wear this in public again. Any button-down is fine by us, but it has to look like it hung on a hanger recently and got thrown in the wash somewhat fewer than the 6 thousand times this shirt clearly was.

Are we asking for so much? We don’t think so. At the very least, a celebrity should dress for a public appearance the way someone dresses for a date. This doesn’t pass the test.

[Photo Credit: INFphoto.com/FOX Television]

• Tom Mison