The Boys at the 2014 HFPA Grants Banquet

Posted on August 15, 2014

Apparently, the color theme was “thunderstorm” and ties were optional. Feh. What a waste of a bunch of gorgeous men. They all look like financial managers at happy hour. They don’t deserve individual style assessments from us. They haven’t earned the right to the T Lo brand of tough love. They’re merely here for you to gaze at and objectify.

Have at it.

 

James Marsden in Z Zegna
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Eddie Redmayne
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Nick Jonas
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Channing Tatum in Gucci
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Robert Pattinson in Gucci
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Everyone made fun of Eddie Redmayne all night for shaving. He went home in tears.

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: Juan Rico/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES, Frazer Harrison/Getty Images]

    • antheapena

      Eddie’s feathered hair is awful

      • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

        His head is shaped like a chocolate chip.

        • carrie

          LOL! He scares me.

          • frannyprof

            Me, too!

      • ShaoLinKitten

        He looks like Alfalfa Schweitzer.

        • MilaXX

          points!

      • HeisenbergHattie

        Eddie has a very long & narrow face. Fine. But add 3 inches of unnecessary feathered fluffed hair to his God-given longness … he looks sort of sadly gaunt … like he needs to eat.

    • imperfectlaura

      Those brown shoes on James Marsden….and did he pair them with cerulean socks?

      • Lily

        Appears that way.

      • Thomas

        I love the shoes, but the socks look ridiculous.

        • imperfectlaura

          I’m with you on that. His shoes and pocket square are the most stylish things in this post. The socks are a little much for me though.

        • 3boysful

          I like the socks!

          • Thomas

            I like the socks, but not with this.

      • alyce1213

        Points for “cerulean.”

        • mlurve

          The best color in the whole Crayola 64 pack!

        • imperfectlaura

          I couldn’t typing without flashing back to Meryl Streep’s monologue on the color from The Devil Wears Prada.

          • Tanagra

            I’m a geek. My mind always goes to the X-Files when I hear that word. “Cerulean blue is a gentle breeze…”

      • ShaoLinKitten

        I wish he’d worn a shirt in that color instead of the socks.

      • uprightcitizen

        I love brown shoes with a gray suit. The shirt color is a little sad, but that’s about as perfect a fit as a suit can get. Cuffs on the jacket and pants are exactly right, and he doesn’t appear to be about to burst out of it anywhere.

      • HeisenbergHattie

        Marsden pared his socks with his cerulean blue eyes …. into which I want to immediately dive. With or without preliminary cocktails.

    • rumcg66

      I will never get the appeal of Eddie Redmayne. Never.

      And those are some half-assed looks on all of them.

      • kimmeister

        But, this is possibly the first time I’ve seen a picture of Eddie standing straight.

        • quiltrx

          I thought that too, right after “that’s the worst his swooshy hair has ever looked!”
          I do rather enjoy his deployment of the Crazy Eye in that second picture, possibly a first as well.

      • what not

        I’ve never seen anything he’s been in and have no general opinion about him–but he looks surprisingly spot-on in the Stephen Hawking movie.

    • nannypoo

      God. Eddie Redmayne. That stupid hair. He manages to make Robert Pattinson look good.

      • Linda LaPaz

        His face is very punchable, isn’t it? (Didn’t mean to downvote – I missed the Reply button the first time!

        • Thomas

          If you hit it again it will undo it.

          • Linda LaPaz

            Thanks. I did not know that!

    • Dany

      Channing is looking better than I have seen him in a LONG time. Damn, he cleans up WELL!

      Eddie Redmayne….looks more uncomfortable than Ann Coulter at a gay pride parade.

      • demidaemon

        HAHAHAHA! Now I want to force her to just that for the pictures.

        • CelandineM

          I call her a harpy and one of my friends made me snort when they mused, “I wonder where she keeps those leathery wings in all those black cocktail dresses?”

    • TonyGo

      Why does Eddie Redmayne always do the side swoopy thing with his hair? His head always looks a 1800s period costume drama.

      • TM

        Aw, to be fair I prefer my Eddie timeperiod-ed. (It’s been years and I have yet to get over Tess of the d’Ubervilles.)

      • TonyGo

        Coming this Fall…Eddie Redmayne is Young Andrew Jackson. With Jonah Hill as Martin Van Buren.

    • HomeOfficeGirl

      That wasn’t all they made fun of Redmayne for… geesh, what a mess.

    • FibonacciSequins

      More likely, everyone made fun of Eddie for his inability to grow manly stubble. What is going on with his hair?

      James Marsden is the only one worth looking at for me. But sadly, that light gray is not his color. Makes him look a little sickly.

      • MilaXX

        Marsden just needed a shirt with a bit more contrast/interest. I would have gone for a white with a dark burgundy stripe. It would pick up the color is the handkerchief and give the shoes something to play off.

    • Thomas

      James Marsden looks hot, and Nick Jonas needs a tie and desperately needs to relax his arms if he can. I know he’s buff now, but his pose looks ridiculous.

      • FibonacciSequins

        Nick looks like he’s pumping himself up like a balloon, using that clenched left hand.

      • kimmeister

        He’s practicing for his new bouncer gig, obviously.

        • bananafish

          That must be why he’s there…I can’t think of another reason

      • quiltrx

        He always looks like some skeevy bodyguard from a poverty-row 50s noir.

      • demidaemon

        He does look like he is about to Hulk Out at any second, and, for some reason, I am looking forward to the result.

    • Freynika

      There’s something about Eddie Redmayne that always makes me think he’s getting punched in the face in slow motion, like the fist is there but has been photoshopped out.

      • FibonacciSequins

        I think it’s because his hair always looks like it’s going in two or three different directions at once.

        • Kimbolina

          His hair always baffles me.

          • Leah Elzinga

            it looks like it baffles him, too.

      • Leah Elzinga

        sort of like he’s flying backwards from the force of it. Like when you pause a movie at a weird point and get to laugh at how messed up the normally gorgeous movie star looks mid-word.

    • Leah Elzinga

      Gorgeous, but tired; love the texture in the shirt but that collar is tragic. Crazed and/or stoned. Dapper but douchey. A tie! but probably at least one beer too many. Hungover as fuck.
      Did I miss anyone?

    • hughman

      Well if they ever start a Movie Franchise of the Stretch Armstrong dolls, Nick Jonas is ON IT.

      • Brian G. Cox

        I thought Taylor Lautner had already signed on to do that. (not kidding)

    • marlie

      Marsden looks good (though monochromatic).
      Redmayne needs a new ‘do, stat.
      Jonas is trying too hard.
      Hi charming Channing!
      Pattinson looks like he’s going to a funeral.

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

      Lots of men I don’t see the point of, and James Marsden.

    • Anna

      The hypothetical Eddie Redmayne scenario made me LOL on the bus.

      They all kind of blend into each other. Even James Marsden looks drab.

    • decormaven

      Robert Pattinson in a suit. Harnessing up the four horses…

    • MilaXX

      First the commendation: They are honestly appeared to put forth some effort. Even Patterson appears to have bathed.
      The critique: They all would have greatly benefited from better shirt choices. Well except poor Redmayne. He’s just an FLK (funny looking kid).

      • lundibleu

        Redmayne would benefit from having a change of hair style. He’s got it swept back on top of his head and brushed forward at the sides. I don’t find that hairstyle flattering on anyone.

        James needed a shirt in a different colour (either darker or contrast), and Channing needs to stop wearing that slim fit suit. Or get it refitted.

    • SAA

      Mardsen – looks ok, but those socks :/ And I don’t love the shirt/suit combo
      Redmayne – never seen hair like that before, and that’s not a compliment, does nothing for his face.
      Jonas – boring
      Channing – I dont see what others do… The suit is too slim for his body, and is quite boring. More like a daytime/bankers suit.
      Pattinson – love that tie with the sparkle, and at least his shoes are moderately interesting. Best looking in a suit of the bunch, imo.

    • snarkykitten

      I can smell the body spray from here. Ew.

    • Janet B

      Nice to see they put a little effort into their clothes. Ties would have been a nice addition.

      • kimmeister

        2 of them do have ties . . .

    • alyce1213

      These boys have got to do better than the gorilla pose (Tater, Nick — I mean you) and the hands-in pocket pose (almost everyone else).
      Just look at a picture of Colin Firth or Cumby, and learn how to stand straight with good posture.

    • MarinaCat

      I never understand Eddie Redmayne’s hairstyle.

      • Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

        I have to be honest, I don’t feel the Redmayne love. I will probably be pelted with rotten fruit for saying it, but there is just something about him that just makes me feel like he’s a prick.

      • BLauDGaspode

        Every time I see a picture of him, it looks weirder and weirder. Why does he insist on combing the sides forward??

    • Sarah

      Nick Jonas needed a tie and a size up on that jacket. Looks like a Guido, he does.

    • Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

      Hands out of pockets! Hands OUT of POCKETS!

      • Kathy

        It takes the hands out of the pockets or it gets the hose.

    • Wink

      This parade could have ended after James Marsden.

    • Pterodactyl111

      Oddly, Channing Tatum and RPatz look the best.

    • Pennymac

      Nothing here worth objectifying. James, see Pierce Brosnans slight duckface in this weeks TLo post to do that stupid lip purse thing with panache. Eddie has gone from being mildly interesting to straight up skeevy, #ohmygodthathair. Meh to the rest.

    • http://tvblogster.blogspot.com Boop

      Is James Marsden sucking on an Altoid?

    • ashtangajunkie

      James Marsden. Amen!

    • fananafanafophalec

      to be fair, these are some shockingly well-fitted suits

    • frannyprof

      Marsden is the best of the bunch. I will NEVER understand the fascination with Eddie Redmayne. He looks like a crazy old lady. A scary crazy old lady.

      • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

        I love him on film, but it doesn’t seem to translate to photography.

    • anotherkate

      Channing Tate-NOM. That is all.

    • ‘Becca’lise Deveaux

      Oh Eddie Redmayne. That hair is getting pretty ridiculous, but I’m absolutely fascinated by the bones in his face. If I was a sculptor I’d make a bust of him.

    • PastryGoddess

      Ummmm, I’ve seen the close ups. Poor Eddie did have some stubble. It’s just so light you can’t see it

    • siriuslover

      Here’s my rundown in order: James M. shirt’s too tight around the collar, you can see it stretching; Eddie needs a better hair style–it’s totally whackadoo; Nick J. passable, but looks like he stuffed his suit jacket with a muscle suit (arrgh, me tough); Channing Tate-no, don’t stick both hands in your pockets so your pants look so tight as to seem too small; R Pat, what, you actually still know how to clean up and look nice for the cameras?

      On the plus side, every single one of the non-tie wearers has their collar situated correctly, which can only be a good sign.

    • Bonnie Blue

      Thanks for the laughs, after a long day at work and then taking a nervous dog to Petsmart to have his nails done, this was just what I needed. Something about each of these guys and everyone’s comments made me laugh so hard. I don’t understand Eddie’s hair, and Nick Jonas looks like he is posing for his own action figure.

    • 3boysful

      OK, ya’ll will jump on me, but when you wear a button-down shirt, you are less likely to get the wonky collar line.

      And I’d say Channing looks like he’s going to a wedding, rather than HH.

      • siriuslover

        I’ve seen plenty of men on TLo wearing button down shirts with their collars splayed from here to high heaven!

        • 3boysful

          Now, now, I did say LESS likely!

          • siriuslover

            I wasn’t dissing, just commenting :)

    • AnneElliot

      The best part of the whole post was TLo’s comment about Eddie Redmayne going home in tears. Other than that, snoozefest.

    • quiltrx

      Channing wins this round for having a little interest in the suit and looking like he doesn’t smell bad (which is one-up on the rest).
      It’s a sad man-fashion showing when even Redmayne’s outfit is boring!

    • Bad Idea Jeans

      With the exception of James Marsden, none of these sausages do anything for me. Especially Redmayne and his troutymouth.

    • e jerry powell

      No D&G. That’s a good sign.

    • Man Dala

      Eddie is absolutely hairless, he doesn’t need to shave.

    • demidaemon

      If Charming Potato had a belt, he would have taken it by a mile. He still wins with this bunch, but it’s by mere inches.

      For a weird reason, though, the Jonas brother is the most attractive sausage at this smorgasbord, and it’s making me somewhat ashamed to admit it.

    • ktr33

      I never have any complaints about James Marsden. Probably because he looks like the pictures from GQ I had taped up on my bedroom wall in the early 80s.

    • GillianHolroyd

      R Patz looks pretty good here despite the lackluster suit. Also like Channing Tatum’s suit and tie combo. Marsden tragically close but has the wrong shirt color.

    • Ray

      Channing Tatum looks pretty good.

    • Columbinia

      Most of the jackets are too tight. That gap of shirt and tie between the button and the belt below looks odd. And a couple of them look like if they sit down too suddenly their pants will split down the back.

    • Qitkat

      NOBODY here comes close to floating my boat.
      Channing has a twinkle in his eye the others are lacking and the best looking suit. Nick looks like a low-rent mobster. Rob looks like an undertaker. James looks like a sports agent. And Eddie looks like a confused teen who wandered onto the set.

      • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

        LOL! Spot on.

    • Modeniete

      Belts appear to have been optional as well.
      Agree with uprightcitizen below about the fit on Marsden’s suit.

    • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

      Yeah, they all look like very handsome bankers. I’ll give this round to Tatum

    • newidentity

      Things must be pretty dire if RPatz is one of the few wearing a tie.

    • MyFavoriteColorIsGlitter

      I don’t get Channing Tatum. He’s gross.

    • NBG

      The RPatz “deer in the headlights” look is very disturbing. He looks like the kind of dude that the neighbors say “kept to himself for the most part” in the TV interviews…after something gross is found in his basement.

      The rest of them are one big ol’ pile of worsted meh. Moving on…

    • fromanotherplanet

      James is SERVING MAJOR FACE. YESSS!!!!

    • KES4K

      Chay Tates for the win ;)

    • KT

      Channing looks hot. Everyone else looks sloppy and/or douchey.

    • http://www.lippsisters.com/ Deborah Lipp

      Dear James Marsden:

      I had no desire to know you dress right. Yet now I suppose I’ll never forget. I also know you’re circumcised. So thanks for that, too.

    • lalahartma

      They all look bad.