Ready, set, BROOD:
Robert Pattinson covers the September 2014 issue of Esquire UK magazine photographed by Simon Emmett and styled by Allan Kennedy.
Hey, go with what you know, we say. Even if the poor boy will be stuck doing these skinny-tied guyditorials for the next ten years probably.
On Kristen Stewart cheating on him: “Shit happens, you know? It’s just young people…it’s normal! And honestly, who gives a shit? The hardest part was talking about it afterwards. Because when you talk about other people, it affects them in ways you can’t predict.”
On getting chased by the paparazzi: “I used to dress up my assistant as me, and get him to drive off with like five cars following him around for hours. I think it goes through periods where you’re assigned ‘this is the guy to follow.’ But whenever I see a bunch of paparazzi hanging out, I always think, ‘Oh God, what have they found out!’ Oh, THAT love child! I totally forgot!”
On when he realized he was famous: “I was going to clubs in L.A. and you had to call the promoters ahead of time to get on the guest list. But one time I forgot to call, and I was on the list anyway. That’s when I knew. I showed up with mustard down my T-shirt and they’re like giving me the wink, ‘Yeah, man, you’re on the list.’”
That last shot proves our point. Stay in the skinny ties and mid-Century suits, Robert. Anything else and … let’s just say the specialness goes away. You’re not the guy who can make a t-shirt look chic. We feel bad having to be the ones to tell you that, but you can cry yourself to sleep on a bed made of fur-lined bags of money.
[Photo Credit: Simon Emmett for Esquire UK Magazine]