Jessica Alba in Antonio Berardi on “Good Morning America”

Posted on August 13, 2014

Ugh. This is…

Actually, you know what? This is a PERFECT example …

Jessica-Alba-Good-Morning-America-TV-Style-Antonio-Berardi-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Jessica Alba makes an appearance on “Good Morning America” to promote her new movie “Sin City: A Dame to Kill For” in an Antonio Berardi dress paired with Brian Atwood ‘Tribeca’ platform sandals and jewelry by Melissa Kaye and Vita Fede.

Jessica-Alba-Good-Morning-America-TV-Style-Antonio-Berardi-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)Antonio Berardi Resort 2015 Collection

Jessica-Alba-Good-Morning-America-TV-Style-Antonio-Berardi-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Jessica-Alba-Good-Morning-America-TV-Style-Antonio-Berardi-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Jessica-Alba-Good-Morning-America-TV-Style-Antonio-Berardi-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (5)

Jessica-Alba-Good-Morning-America-TV-Style-Antonio-Berardi-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (6)

 

… of exactly the kind of style we have the least interest in, when it comes to celeb-lady style. That WAY-too-precious, retro, wifey-poo style. Under any circumstances, we would probably consider this dress a little basic, but inoffensive. You add a pony tail and those SUPER tacky shoes and it just goes south immediately. Let’s have a re-do.

Keep the dress, add a thin red belt, blow the shit out of that hair, put a bold, confident bag on her arm, and switch out those stripper heels for something a little more tasteful and neutral.

Your turn. She has to keep the dress, but you can change everything else, even the wearer, if you can think of a more appropriate celebrity to wear this particular combination of Stepford Wife/streetwalker.

 

 

[Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews, Antonio Berardi]

    • Sanglots longs

      Side part and low ponytail with a bit of a wave/curl; pea-green sling-back pumps; grayed chartreuse belt. I.e., accessories in complementary color to the pink, in about the same value, but less bright and saturated. I like that lantern-shaped skirt of this dress, but the fabric seems a little flimsy.

    • kimmeister

      I’d put this on Kiernan Shipka with a white cami underneath, thin kelly green belt, and white espadrilles.

    • Nopinkertons

      Who cares about the boring dress? I’d like to see someone in that white coat on the model….

    • Jacob Bowen

      I would totally do a trendy pop of color shoe (I even think an orange/pink combo would change it from sickeningly sweet to a bit more playful). I would put a belt on…maybe navy blue, or if she HAS to have silver in their somewhere that would be fine, and I would give her a hairstyle similar to the models, with her hair down, wavy, and a bit messy. JBF hair may be the key to toning down the Barbie aspect of this dress.

    • Lisalady161

      One of the cutest actresses out there, and she’s channeling JLo. Sad, sad, sad. I don’t even want to do a restyle here, this is so tragic.

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

      Forest green kitten heel sandals, soft blow out on the hair, get a minion to carry your stuff so you don’t need a bag.

      • alyce1213

        Kitten heels are so right for this dress. I thought I’d seen the end of clunky platforms.

    • Skippymom1

      When I saw the shoes I expected the dress to be a pull away number with a silver thong and pasties underneath. I assumed she was promoting her upcoming movie “Striptease II”. And of course with one flick of her wrist the pony tail would have fallen with a flourish and a neck snap shake to highlight he sexy, luxurious curls.
      Now THAT would’ve been some good morning television.

    • MilaXX

      This shade of pink is soft enough that she could have literally spun the color wheel and come up with a thousand colors to contrast this with and she choose, SILVER HOOKER HEELS.

    • TinyDynamo

      Lupita would make this sing – the color & shape would be heart stopping!

      • boweryboy

        Was just about the write the same…

        • GeoDiva

          Me too! Ms. Lupita would rock this.

        • TinyDynamo

          The more I think about it, the more pissed I get that La Lupita wasn’t given this first! She could do red accents or even bright acidy yellow. Harrumph.

    • boweryboy

      I find the shoes the most offensive thing here. I would swap those out for a pair of chartreuse kitten heels or slingbacks with a matching skinny belt and then hide that horribe hair under a giant floppy straw hat with a pink sash and some Audrey Hepburn-esque sunglasses.
      Or put the dress on Lupita. That pink would sing against her skin.

    • Rebecca Harvey

      What’s with the horizontal seam in the skirt? It’s like they started with a shorter dress, realized that the neckline made it too hoochie, so they lengthened the skirt to compensate.

    • kmk05

      She looks like a cream puff. Or cotton candy on a stick. If the dress were any other colour, maybe I would like it more. As it is, she should just go home. This is terrible from head to toe.

    • KT

      The dress is actually really cool, and the bold graphic print gives it a sort of edge, actually. This is just the worst possible styling ever.

      I could see Lupita making this shit work for her in a great way (though I’d make the skirt more flowy and less… cupcake-y). I could also see Nina Dobrev wearing this, or maybe even SJP.

      It definitely needs a belt, and I kind of like the idea of black accessories for this dress. Nothing too heavy or oppressive looking, but just enough to give it a little bit of an edge.

    • Wink

      Jessica Simpson loves hooker/stripper heels, and she can (usually) pull off that look because she seems to be in on the joke. When others wear hooker/stripper heels, they just look like … well, like this.

      • kmk05

        It’s also that Jessica Simpson is not as waifish as Jessica Alba: regardless of her weight fluctuations, she has muscled thighs and calves and a larger frame, so the stripper heels don’t look as out of context and she can carry them better.

    • fromanotherplanet

      Sharpie eyebrows? Fix it Jesus.

    • evave2

      The shoes and the purse are awful, I mean REALLY awful. I don’t like the hair, but who am I to judge really? The dress does not wow me, I think it looks too full on her.

      But I am going to say again that this last year the designers have been sending out the models as HIDEOUS counterpoints to their clothing. What is the deal with that? Are they so unsure of their clothes that they need to make the models ugly so they don’t distract from the clothes? Jiminee cricket.

    • http://weirdinedgewise.blogspot.com ONEWEIRDWORD

      Maybe give her a half inch of breathing room in the bodice so it doesn’t split if she sneezes.

    • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

      The shoes are an abomination.

    • MissusBee

      Taylor Swift would wear this (not in a good way).

      I’m almost thinking Kristen Wiig could make this work as she has enough edge to take the Barbie-ness out of it, while still being elegant. But even then it’s going to be a bit precious. Or go the other way – JLo with sky-high wedges, huge blowout and a baubly necklace.

      I dunno. I keep trying to imagine it in different colors. Black and white ubertrend aside, I can’t help think this would look quite chic in monochrome. Or if it was in neon green at least someone could have fun with it.

      • Kitten Mittons

        Yes, something besides pink might work better.

    • demidaemon

      That dress violates my eyes, so, unfortunately, it needs to go. It’s way too Barbie, and considering what she is schilling, the absolute wrong way to go.

      • Kitten Mittons

        I want to like it, but she’s made it way too boobtastic. The sweetness of the dress, with that much cleavage and stripper shoes, just seems all wrong.

    • frannyprof

      Ugh. Can’t the stripper platform trend just die, already?

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      Black patent pumps and a black belt are one possible improvement. Or, plain black pumps, a really cute clutch. The silver shooves really are horrific.

    • gracedarling

      Tennis shoes and headscarf. She could really pull off Eva Mendes Lite.

    • PastryGoddess

      All she’s missing is the apple pie, apron, and hot pads

    • cocohall

      It looks like Miss Alba is going to host a Toddlers and Tiaras pageant. This would look PERFECT in some third rate convention ballroom surrounded by crying babies made up to look like Anna Nicole Smith. Venue venue venue, darling.

    • PinkyK

      Do those shoes come with a pole?

    • Garcia Loca

      Why would a grown-ass woman with a career of her own want to style herself after Arianna Grande?

      • GemFemme

        Brava!

    • Yoshio

      Her facial expression is one of monumental discomfort. This is all wrong and can not be redeemed. One must wipe the slate clean and start again.

    • OffToSeeHim

      Does it say she’s on Good Morning America? Because those aren’t 9:00 in the morning heels! Yikes!

      • MilaXX

        They are if you’re doing the walk of shame.

    • Jo Koster

      OK, Lupita in the dress, Oscar de la Renta’sPavé Crystal Pansy Waist Belt in Black Jet, Coach Bleeker mini-duffle in black, Louboutin Leonor Fini open-toed heels. Or else Louboutin’s white Wedgie Lady sandals. (Miss Lupita goes for matchy, so she would probably prefer Louboutin’s Gardnera sandals, but I’m not letting her go matchy.) How’s that?

      • OffToSeeHim

        See, if you’re going to post that kind of straight-up knowledge, you have to link off to the pieces you’re talking about so we peasants can educate ourselves! :-)

    • Kaonashi

      Stripper shoes is right. And the dress isn’t anything to write home about either.

    • elzatelzabelz

      Reese Witherspoon, sandals or wedges, fabulous hat, hair down, on her parking lot tour.

    • Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

      Helena Bonham Carter, add a black crinoline, her black orthopedic shoes, and a bird’s nest on her head with a fish net veil. No to a necklace; yes to a stethoscope.

    • colormehappy

      Also: those caterpillar eyebrows NEED TO GO. And the frosted lips. The normally enviable Jessica Alba looks like Spock in drag on planet Stepford.

    • Columbinia

      What TLo said. Well, maybe the hair in a sedate French twist or chignon. Yes to the belt, bold bag and neutral pumps, add a cuff bracelet and turquoise earrings.

    • http://logical-insnaity.com/ elizonthelam

      Eva Mendes, rocking some sort of primarily sky/cyan blue patterned head scarf, skinny yellow belt, wedge sandals. Or red flat sandals of some sort…but i like lots o’color

    • Sally

      I think the look on her face says it all.

    • NBG

      The shoes took this outfit into J. Lo territory. Not necessarily a good thing if you don’t have J. Lo’s attitude to pull it off.

      • Kimberlini

        Actually, I’d love to see this dress on JLo with all of the styling edits recommended by TLo. Especially the shoes. Gotta get rid of those gawdawful shoes. And the dress can’t be too tight! It would be nice to see JLo look daytime tasteful.

    • http://www.chifleschips.com Stefanie Argudo Mackenzie

      Nicole Kidman in The Stepford Wives getup; that’s all.

    • blue808

      what’s up with the spock eyebrows?

    • Kikishua

      I really like the dress. I hate the shoes (but I always hate those shoes). The bag is inoffensive to me. And the ponytail would give me a headache, but she is pretty enough for sleek. I guess I like the Stepford Wife look.

      I fail at snark and Bitter Kittenness. *slinks away, shamed*

    • Sara Brams-Miller

      I love the silver of the shoes. But I am NOT in love with the stripper style.

    • luluransom

      Oh I love the idea of a thin RED belt, lads! The dress is extremely flattering on her, I kinda love it. But holy heck, the shoes and hair.

    • TRSTL

      Loose chignon, black patent skinny belt & strappy sandals. Red clutch…..

    • siriuslover

      If she’s gonna keep that dress in the NY summer, she should wear a cute pair of stripy sandals (the flatter the better). Lose the bag entirely. Not sure of a belt for this dress, but I do like your idea of a thin read belt. No idea whatsoever with her hair. Maybe cut it and give her a cute summery bob.

    • Coco Chanel

      9 year old’s dress with stripper heels

      • Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

        It’s like a birthday party at a titty bar.

        • Coco Chanel

          Interesting parallel isn’t it?

    • Beto

      Isn’t that Ariana Grande? (a more adult, that is). Shoe style for that dress is a clear mistake

    • DuBey2

      I can’t get over the shock that she’s actually got a movie.

    • AmeliaEve

      That pink and white combo screams “Lilly Pulitzer” to me. Loose half pony, green leather belt, low white wedges, wicker bag, and maybe a pale yellow cardigan around the shoulders.

    • Jessica Peterson

      That high ponytail gives me the ragies.

    • Ali2044

      This is Michelle Obama’s dress. And what does Jessica Alba even do anymore? Why are we seeing her?

    • Angela

      I love the dress although I would shorten the length on her but ugh YES those shoes are a disaster. I can’t imagine any outfit they would be good with unless you had some slacks you didn’t want to hem ha ha. I disagree about her hairstyle though, I think she looks gorgeous. I hate the red belt idea personally but I’m sure that would make it more stylish for some. I’m a fan of simple and she nailed it except for the shoes. I have really enjoyed reading everyone’s take on it though.

    • leahpapa

      I just snarfed at my desk. Oh, gurl. That was (is?) true in so, so many ways.

    • Qitkat

      In all seriousness, if she always does, she ought to stop. Immediately. My mom always blamed her thinning hair as she grew older from wearing tight braids back in the forties, the kind that wrapped around her head.

    • kimmeister

      Somewhere around 1999/2000, I owned a leopard print cowboy hat. There is photographic evidence of me wearing it at a concert. *wincing*

    • conniemd

      I grew up in an area that was half cowboy and half hippie in the 60’s and 70’s. I wouldn’t been caught dead in cowboy boots. I tended towards the floor length tie die or denim skirts :) so I do understand your horror at your past fashion tastes. :)

    • BayTampaBay

      I am sure it and you looked great. When styled correctly, I love a big crinoline skirt .

      ETA: I do not think that dress is “that Bad”.

    • Sarah

      Yeah, those shoes are Sweet Stripper Sixteen.

    • kimmeister

      That’s a lot of boob for a morning show appearance at any age.

    • kimmeister

      Zoinks!

    • leahpapa

      All I can think of is that 30 ROCK episode where Liz decides to start “rocking cowboy hat that a KISS FM deejay one called ‘a sweet lid.'” AND I LOVE IT.

    • Skippymom1

      I am afraid if someone comes across that pic’ kimmeister you may be in for an eternal life of blackmail. I burned all the pics of me wearing my pink Chucks with the plaid insides, that accessorized my pink oversized [think Flashdance] sweatshirt dress. The 80’s – the decade I like to refer to as “What were we thinking.”

    • ashtangajunkie

      We must have been shopping at the same stores back then. I had one too. :)

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find those pics and destroy. Cue the Mission Impossible music.
      We’ve all had those fashion faux pas moments.

    • Aurora Meyer

      Now I’m dying to see Reese dress exactly like Elle Woods in real life.

    • IngerMereteH

      Yes. Bold, but not too intricate, I think, so that it is not fighting with the print. I see people suggest navy shoes, that would also be a good idea.

    • Jacob Bowen

      COURTNEY STODDEN, NO! I am pretty sure I just got her name/image out of my head!!!

    • kimmeister

      Get this – I actually got rid of it because it was too small for my huge dome and gave me a headache! Not because it was a leopard. print. cowboy hat.

    • marlie

      I was going to say that in my comment, but I thought I was being prudish. :P

    • Anna

      Good ol’ Aldo. I had Baby Spice-style platform sneakers from there. I thought I was flyest chick at frosh week. And so did every other girl wearing them, I’m sure.

    • marlie

      I’m stuck on “cut-off denim pleated skirt.” Pleated.

    • demidaemon

      You were just ahead of the trends! Now that Aldo is on PR, it is obviously the next big thing.

    • Spreecord

      On my first date with my husband, back when this millenium was still a baby, I wore a floor length denim skirt slit up to the knees on both sides, and purple tank top with some sort of flower-and-crystals decoration on it. Mmmm, hot.

    • jen

      Right?! Anything is better than those stripper monstrosities.

    • Adrianna Grężak

      I can’t wait for these stripper platforms to be over. We’re gonna look back in horror

    • BayTampaBay

      Agree with your solution 100%.

    • carnush

      Exactly. Way to ruin an adorable dress. Even basic ballet flats would look great with it…red ones.

    • leahpapa

      YUP. Puh. Leated. And I decided it was too long, so I cut it off. With scissors. Without measuring first, so it was sort of unintentionally asymmetrical.

    • KinoEye

      I had a pleated denim MINI skirt. I think it might still be in my old closet, each pleat reminding me of my terrible, terrible fashion decisions as a teen. It’s probably hanging next to the short, black and white polka-dotted bubble skirt.

    • kimmeister

      I didn’t even think denim could be pleated!

    • FibonacciSequins

      Yes-bold but simple.

    • Constant Reader

      I’d like to see this with a short, chunky necklace. Not busy, just chunky.

    • marlie

      As was suggested elsewhere in this thread… you’d better hope there’s no photographic evidence, lest someone try to blackmail you with it.

    • greymain

      EXACTLY.

    • In_Stitches

      Hairtrosity! I love it. I wonder if it’s even sewn in or if it’s just one giant clip on she sticks to the back of her head any time she leaves the house. She never takes it out of that ponytail…

    • demidaemon

      Also, a truly insufferable facial expression.

    • greymain

      oh yeah!

    • ConnieBV

      And I saw Krysten Ritter.

    • alyce1213
    • alyce1213

      She’d need to lop off the entire bottom piece to make it more little-girlie, wear it with her open-toe white mules, and the wrong color bag. (I like to pick on Reese.)

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      I like the sound of Stepford the hell out of. Nicole could wear this, and you just know that she’d be taking no prisoners.

    • kimmeister

      Well, they make 2014 me look like the most fabulous creature who has ever walked the earth in comparison. Worth keeping just for that!

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      That is a good reason to keep those pics-showing off your style evolution!

    • Jackie4g

      Sure.

    • misstressofsylar

      I mis Ritter. Someone give her a show stat! Her pole dance was really interesting.

    • MoHub

      She’d also be wearing white stiletto pumps with that dress.

    • MoHub

      A short-sleeved white linen bolero with a big brooch on the lapel?

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      Indeed she would.