We don’t know, you guys. It feels like we reached peak Miley a while ago, doesn’t it?
Miley Cyrus covers the latest issue of V magazine in custom Fendi photographed by Karl Lagerfeld.
Because there was a time when Miley in a bathing suit made out of dead muppets would have inspired all sorts of navel gazing and think pieces. “WHY MILEY LOVES TO PROVOKE.” It just all feels so very six months ago, no? The days of her tardive dyskinesia and cultural appropriation schtick have yielded all the dividends that can possibly be yielded from such stunts. No 1 curr, girl.
Is it us or do the attention-seeking ones seem to burn out quicker than they used to? We have to admit, we thought Gaga was going to remain a cultural force for years to come, but that doesn’t seem to have happened. The public loves their clowns, but they have a shorter and shorter shelf life each year. Allow us to drop a little “Be Me or Do Me Bingo” on your ass. Because there is no opportunity we won’t take to sell our book like a couple of streetwalkers.
From Chapter 3, Attention-Whoring, under the subheading, “Poo-Flinging Monkey Stars:”
These professional provocateurs—most of whom are pop stars, although you can sometimes count on some overbearded actor from the indie film scene to provide good copy—tend to have a relatively short shelf life (not a lot of lifetime achievement awards gracing their mantels in their old age, assuming they even reach it), but they have the easiest time of all in the attention-whoring sweepstakes. Almost nothing is off-limits for them. They could take a dump on the Grammys red carpet and their fans would call it art, while the press would call it “cheeky.” They can dress in outlandish getups that make them look like extras in some sort of science-fiction fetish-porn film or arrive at events stuffed inside an egg, or wearing dresses made out of tampons, or sporting sequined antlers, and everyone will titter and applaud like ladies-in-waiting. They’ll drink faux baby blood onstage or wear transparent lederhosen to the Met Ball; nothing at all is off-limits short of murder—and even then, a clever one could get away with it. But the public’s indulgence only lasts so long, and these types tend to burn up goodwill at a much faster rate than the average star. Still, their antlers and antics can be expected to stay seared into the public’s collective memory for a much longer time than their actual careers do, giving them an air of legend that most other stars would kill for.
We’ll always remember you fondly, Miley.
We probably shouldn’t be saying this, because it’ll only provoke her into doing something really gross and attention-seeking. She’s like Beetlejuice that way. Best if her name isn’t mentioned at all.
[Photo Credit: Karl Lagerfeld for V Magazine]