2014 Teen Choice Awards Red Carpet Rundown

Posted on August 11, 2014

Let’s loudly and unfairly judge young people and make them cry! Are you ready?


Then let us commence.

Hailee Steinfeld in Elie Saab Resort 2015
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Dangerously high levels of twee! Bordering on “Marie Osmond Doll Collection” levels!



Nina Dobrev in Vionnet Resort 2015
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Backup dancer for Stacey Q!



Jordin Sparks in Simply Intricate Spring 2014
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Theme restaurant hostess! Yes, I WOULD like a drink served in a pineapple, thank you!



Bella Thorne in Johnny Wujek for Candie’s
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Stinker Bell!



Lucy Hale in Christian Dior
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Welcome to the Playboy Club. May I see your key?



Ian Somerhalder
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Gay levels of clothing tightness!



Ariana Grande in Georges Chakra  Couture Spring 2013
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Cat Deeley in Alberta Ferretti Spring 2014
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Slowly and unexpectedly morphing into Phyllis Diller! Applied her makeup with a pillow!



Sarah Hyland in Marc Jacobs Resort 2015
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Kind of disco-fabulous, but a little boring and tonally off for the event!



Odeya Rush in Monique Lhuillier Resort 2015
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Congratulations, dear, but your Bat Mitzvah’s being held across the street!



Kellan Lutz in Timo Weiland Spring 2014
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Just happy to be here, thanks!



Victoria Justice in Rebecca Minkoff Resort 2015
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That dress should be worn by a potted fern!




Willow Shields in Emanuel Ungaro Resort 2015

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Oh, HONEY. You are SO gonna get drunk some night in your thirties and laugh-cry over this.



Hillary Duff in Noir Sachin & Babi Spring 2014
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Trying WAY too hard!



Zendaya Coleman in Material Girl
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Barbie flight attendant!



Selena Gomez in Saint Laurent Spring 2014
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Wait. How did SHE wind up the chic one in this crowd? What does THAT tell you?



Chloë Moretz in Valentino Resort 2015
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If we were assholes and actually thought this was cute, we’d say “MATADORABLE!”

But we’re not (arguably) and we don’t, so we think she looks like a Russian version of Jodie Foster in Taxi Driver.





[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

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  • Mothra

    Is Chloe actually wearing a black thing across her bust or was that super-imposed upon her? It is so…weird.

    • RussellH88

      It looks like she’s wearing a censor bar.

      • HeisenbergHattie


      • Mothra

        YES! That is what I thought it was! But I didn’t know the name of the thing!

        • mich

          bandeau top!

      • Inês Martins

        Censor bar….. perfect!!!

      • Musicologie

        That’s exactly what I saw, as well.

        • J. Preposterice

          I can see Rihanna deploying a CENSORED bandeau top to great effect at the MTV awards! that would be hilarious.

      • StrandedFashionista

        And paired with the Uncle’s description of her looking like a Russian child prostitute… IT ALL MAKES SENSE!!!

  • Julie Chase

    I want “Applied her makeup with a pillow” to be etched on my gravestone.

    • Kent Roby

      I snorted loudly upon reading that!

      • demidaemon

        Me too.

        • drdirection

          Me too!

  • sugarkane105

    LOL some of your best bitchy commentary, boys! Selena Gomez is Best-Dressed, Lucy Hale is Worst, and I’m surprised how much I like Nina Dobrev’s blue and pink get-up.

    • That makes me feel less bad about kinda wanting Nina Dobrev’s shorts.

  • Vanessa

    Chloe looks like her chest was censored.

    • sienna elm

      YES! That was exactly my thought too.

    • MW

      You win!

    • And she’s got a cat face over her ladyparts.

    • Nikko Viquiera

      Can’t unseeeee! lol

  • Emily Dagger

    I actually kind of like Stewardess Barbie, despite (because of) the fact that that’s EXACTLY what she looks like.

    • sugarkane105

      Also it kinda looks like someone dyed Taylor Swift’s mullet and plopped it on her head.

    • JR Labrador

      Lose the collar and the matchy shoes and she could’ve been a contender.

    • KingCrazy


      • Thomas

        That is possibly the worst wig I have ever seen.

        • marlie

          It totally looks like it was meant for someone with a head considerable larger than hers.

          • kimmeister

            It just throws off the proportions of her tiny body.

      • KateShouldBeWorking

        Styled by Flowbee.

    • Alloy Jane

      I’m gonna throw in my vote for Stewardess Barbie too. I dig the dress, but not with those shoes.

    • Shawn EH

      Zendaya’s always trying something new, you gotta give her that.

  • JR Labrador

    I’m too damned old for this shit.

    • AC Simons

      I am old, but never too old for this shit.

      • decormaven


    • EveEve

      Where is Kiernan Shipka when we need her?!?

    • CB

      I am younger than some of these people and STILL too old for this shit.

  • M_E_S

    Does anyone find Stewardess barbie’s proportions to be weirdly off somehow? Like, her head is too big for her neck? Or do I just need more sleep?

  • IAmJ

    I’d like to use Cat’s makeup pillow to smack that smirk off Ariana Grande’s face.

    • stubbornthoughts

      Her usual one-raised-eyebrow smirk makes me want to punch a baby.

      • marlie

        I just laughed out loud at work.

      • demidaemon

        I’m not quite at punching babies status but it does irritate the shit out of me. I just wonder what the hell she thinks that dumbass expression is doing for her.

  • Reminding us all why we’re glad not to be young and famous, it’s the Teen Choice awards.

  • Wink

    Cat Deeley should have won an award for Best Color Matching. Her dress, lipstick and skin are all the same shade of orange.

  • random_poster

    I am so happy my kids have outgrown everything Nickelodeon.

  • mommyca

    I’m not sure what you were trying to say with “Pedo-minimalism” in the Arianna Grande picture, but “pedo” in Spanish means “fart”, so to me it was hilarious….

    • Aidan B

      It was meant to be short for “pedophile,” I believe. Your version is definitely hilarious.

      • mommyca

        Oh! I see… I didn’t make the connection… Thanks!!! 🙂

  • Anique Ashraf


  • Aidan B

    Literal snort at “Stinkerbell.” You guys are too good. In other news I’m only 25 but this is making me feel really old. Also I’m 500% over Ariana Grande wearing her hair like that.

    • NMMagpie

      Johnny Wujek might want to rethink that bit about designing clothes.

      • demidaemon

        Well, now that Tyra’s canned him, he needs something to stay in the spotlight.

    • Kitten Mittons

      I’m 1000% over Ariana wearing her entire head like that. I’m wondering if she and Somerhalder had a baby, if his smug and her constant surprise would kind of even out to normal facial expressions for the kid. Like, cancel each other out, sort of.

      Stinkerbell was my favorite, too. Every one of those critiques hit the nail on the head.

      Also, Kellan Lutz is waaaay less entertaining without Stallone, Snipes, Statham, and Banderas around. Maybe 4000%, roughly.

      • Aidan B

        I do not get the appeal of Kellan at ALL.

        • Kitten Mittons

          I can’t say I’ve seen him act (or if I did, he didn’t leave an impression), but physically and stylistically speaking, he just ain’t my thing. In fact, he’s pretty much all the things I tend to avoid.

          • Aidan B


        • Anna

          I liked him for about 3 seconds in his Greek God costume in The Immortals. But that may be to do with the fact that I don’t remember him having any lines…

      • marlie

        I’m 1000% over HER. Period. I wish she’d just go away.

        • Kitten Mittons

          She is pretty insufferable. As much as pictures like this annoy me, she’s about 10,000% more annoying in movement. That video with Iggy Azalea…..just punch-worthy.

          • marlie

            Thankfully, I haven’t seen it. Though I do get all “Turn if off. TURN. IT. OFF. NOW.” whenever the song comes on the radio, and the bf looks at me like I’ve lost my mind.

          • Kitten Mittons

            It’s a catchy song, but particularly screechy for my tastes.

            The video is just her being her persona. It’s that scared little girl thing while being totally overly sexualized. I’m getting all ragey again, and I thought I killed that this morning with coffee. Damn.

          • marlie

            Also, is she contractually obligated to wear those too-big-looking Barbie-ish platform pumps? As in, they look like she’s playing dress-up in Mommy’s shoes? Because it bugs. And EW.*

            *I just saw an ad on TV for her album, and she’s wearing them on the cover, with her undies, or whatever, and they’re ginormous on her.

          • Kitten Mittons

            I googled the image, but I’m not sure which one you mean, because that’s nearly every picture of her. Bustier, thigh highs, platforms. Bra and panties, thigh highs, pumps. Bustier and panties, and a suggestive candy cane/microphone/lollipop.

            I know she’s 21, I get it. I don’t expect her to pretend to be a little kid forever. But the google also tells me that her show on Disney ended not even a month ago. So how many little girls have seen the same stuff on google that I just saw? How many have asked for/bought the album? She chose to do the Disney thing at 20 or whatever. She didn’t have to buy into the innocent little girl routine. And she doesn’t have to sexualize herself in order to accomplish her goals. Is that really the only route that she thinks is available to her? Or is it just the easiest route?

            I would be curious to know how much Disney has to do with this career path, as well, mostly because the Mouse Empire and I have issues. How many of these starlets are pushed into this nonsense, or made to believe that’s their only option?

            Feh. I’ve been cranky all day.

          • demidaemon

            Me either. Now I’m scared.

      • alyce1213

        Ariana Grande has hair issues (previously discussed on this blog), and I wish she’d just lop that mop and extensions right off, and wear it short and cute. Would her career be over? (Maybe)

        • Kitten Mittons

          If we’re lucky.

    • marlie

      And there’s that random bit of hair sticking straight up in the front. It’s like that’s the icing on the cake of rage regarding this girls hair.

    • There must be twice the usual number of hair extensions buried in there.

  • butterflysunita

    Was the dress code for this event: “Wear the ugliest outfit you can possibly find”?

  • Scimommy

    Is Ian Somerhalder trying to… smile? smirk? Whatever it is, it looks painful.

    • sugarkane105

      He looks high as a fucking kite.

      • demidaemon

        If I had to attend this, I’d probably do the same.

    • marlie

      The douchefumes are off the charts with this one.

  • Ashleigh

    This is bizarre-o. Why are the women wearing teeny tiny semi-designer stuff with heels and the dudes look like they just hitch-hiked in on a freight train?
    There’s SOME middle ground there, right? Or, I could just be old…

  • Thomas

    That is possibly the cheapest looking Christian Dior I have ever seen. For shame.

    • I don’t even think they’re trying anymore.

    • Aidan B

      She looks like she’s getting ready for a trapeze act.

  • Sarah

    IDK who Willow Shields is (I’m old and I don’t care) but Emmanuel Ungaro is NOT HER FRIEND.

    • She plays Prim in the Hunger Games movies.

      • Sarah

        Right. She got older looking.

        • She and ‎Isaac Hempstead-Wright (aka. Bran Stark) have a lot in common, it seems.

          • Aidan B

            Yes! How is it that Maisie Williams looks exactly the same but he looks so much older already?

          • Probably b/c she’s about the same age as Sophie Turner. They were nearing the end of their growth streaks, while he’s younger and was just starting his!

          • Aidan B

            That’s true. Maisie’s so teeny that I keep thinking she’s younger than she really is!

      • Thomas

        Is she the one who went topless in nyc?

        • Nope, that’s Bruce Willis and Demi Moore’s daughter Rumor Willis.

          • Thomas

            Willow. Willis. I’m all confused today.

          • demidaemon

            I made the same mistake, as I thought that’s who she was.

    • marlie

      Ungaro must, in fact, have a not-so-secret vendetta against this girl, and she’s the only one who hasn’t figured it out yet.

  • JenniferA

    Oh my goodness, Jordin Sparks! Go home and start over. Unless 7th grader trying to look awesome for the luau theme dance in the school gym is what you were going for.

  • hughman

    Poor Cat Deeley. In this crowd, she looks like the Crypt Keeper.

  • KateShouldBeWorking

    Quick poll: how many if y’all made it through and said “Jeebus Christ/gurl no!/etc.” fewer than five times.

    • Thomas

      It was like a horror movie that wouldn’t end.

      • KateShouldBeWorking

        Thank god I looked at this in private: if someone would have seen how much I flinched they’d have thought I was having a mild seizure.

    • marlie

      There was only one or two that *didn’t* have me saying “Jeebus Christ/gurl no!/etc.”

      • demidaemon

        I was between “WTF” and “why!?” for pretty much everyone, even Selena Gomez, thought the words had different intonations. Despair vs. how the hell did that happen?

    • Shawn EH

      I was too busy laughing at TLo’s put-downs, which weren’t mean enough for THIS rundown!

  • prettyinmink

    Sigh. One of the rare ocassions I have time to binge on TLo and its been one disappointment after another.

  • marlie

    Was there some sort of edict that the ladystars all had to either show a couple inches of midriff OR sternum? Because COME ON PEOPLE. Selena Gomez’s outfit is the only one that I even come close to liking, and that’s not saying much. Pretty much every single other outfit sucks ass.

    • Thomas

      I like Sarah Hyland’s, even though she looks like she should be going to a different event.

      • marlie

        True, her’s isn’t bad either, but that whole rest of the red carpet is a sea of WTF.

    • kimmeister

      And even Selena’s is proportionally off. She’s looking top heavy here.

  • MilaXX

    That is a whole lot of terrible. I am shocked to say Selena Gomez won this round.

    • decormaven

      Truly. We are in Bizarro World now.

  • Judy_J

    Did they all have the same bad stylist?

  • Anna

    Can’t stop laughing at Ian Somerhalder, I’m just seeing the Dazed and Confused pre-party montage scene where Shavonne’s friend is helping her do up her jeans with a pair of pliers.

    Were Cat Deeley and J-Lo the chaperones?

    • Kitten Mittons

      And he’s so pleased about it, too.

      • Anna

        He and Hilary Duff seem perfectly happy to suck it in and give up the ability to exhale for the evening.

        Which just made me think of Dennis Reynolds saying to that model in his dress, “What, did you eat the entire kitchen cupboard today? SUCK IN that gut before I scream!”

        • Kitten Mittons

          I love you for that. Dennis would clearly wear that outfit better than Hilary.

          • Anna

            “Make it work, Dennis…you haven’t even begun to peak, but you’re gonna peak today.”

            Also, the crime of ugliness was committed all over the Teen Choice Awards red carpet. And sadly, you can’t press charges for that.

          • Kitten Mittons

            “Because I’m gonna peak so hard that everyone in Philadelphia is going to feel it.”

          • Anna

            DYING. Ah The Gang, my favourite sociopaths.

          • Kitten Mittons

            “These are the theories of LUNATICS!”

  • siriuslover

    Selena does look really good. I also liked Sarah Hyland’s dress.

    • Aidan B

      Those two were definitely the winners.

      • Shawn EH

        Especially since Sarah can too often go either super-twee or Grand Ol’ Opry in her styling, when her face is so perfect for some chic minimal disco fabulous like this!

  • Miss wks

    “Russian version of Jodie Foster in Taxi Driver….” DA!

    • Inspector_Gidget

      Spot on! Especially if she’s smacking gum.

  • doodley

    1) For a brief second, I seriously thought Willow Shields had spoons tacked to the front of her top.

    2) I also thought someone had superimposed a black bar to cover up Chloe Moretz’s breasts, and then I realized it was a tube top.

    I’m not sure what either of these things says about my powers of observation, but that is a whole lot of awful going on up there.

    • PastryGoddess

      I can’t unsee the black bar over her boobs. Thanks

    • Me too! on both 1 and 2.

  • FibonacciSequins

    That’s one heaping pile of NOPE.

  • Inspector_Gidget

    That Minkoff resort look… Does anyone remember those old frogs made out of yarn? That your old hippie aunt would have hanging on the wall?

  • Rhonda Shore

    Ian Somerhalder’s tattoo really looks like a concentration camp number. Ick.

  • boweryboy

    Cat Deeley slowly and unexpectedly morphing into Phyllis Diller sounds kind of fabulous (only because I love Phyllis Diller).
    And Ian, honey, if you have to suck in your stomach for photos then perhaps your clothes are a wee bit too tight, dontcha think?

  • decormaven

    Lucy Hale needs to switch stylists, STAT. Those shoes, paired with that dress… so bad.

  • decormaven

    “Backup dancer for Stacey Q!” Thanks, dear uncles- now “Two of Hearts” will be playing in my head all afternoon.

    • kimmeister

      I confess I didn’t get that reference because I don’t know who Stacey Q is.

      • decormaven

        80s pop singer. Staple in Jazzercise rotation.

    • cowper

      “I need you! I need you!”

  • Sam Smith

    Question, if you are a teen/kid star like Duff or Gomez how long do you attend Kid’s Choice/Teen Award shows. I’m thinking more of Duff in this case, she is late 20s, why is she still attending these events?

    • In_Stitches

      I’m assuming with Duff it’s because she has a new album to shill.

  • Shelby


  • numenah

    I am indignant that an adult allowed Bella Thorne to leave the house looking like this.

  • kmk05

    In no particular order (or, specifically, the order I remember them in without scrolling back up):

    1. The problem with H Steinfeld is her makeup. If she had gone for a more fresh-faced look it would have been a killer.
    2. A Grande’s hair is terrifying.
    3. You can see I Somerhalder’s ribs, he’s sucking his stomach in so tight. That’s what you get for taking clothes that are too small!
    4. I don’t know what offends me more in L Hale’s outfilt: the bizarreness of the shape of the skirt, the satin, or those HORRID ankle shoes things.
    5. I would have gladly loved Z Coleman’s outfit if it wasn’t paired up with those shoes. She’s like a sanitised Rihanna with her hair and bone structure.

    As you were!

    • kimmeister

      I noticed that Steinfeld’s eyes looked like they had been lined with a Sharpie. And Ian’s stomach isn’t alone in telling the story of his too-tight shirt, you can also see it in the way his shirt is all bunched up under his armpits.

      • kmk05

        Ian just looks ridiculous. I mean, there’s nothing good to say about this when he looks like everything except him shrunk in the wash.

        Hailee’s eyes are just inappropriate with her outfit. I want to say that the makeup doesn’t suit her face at all (and the Sharpie has to go) but it isn’t true: on its own, her face is nice (and the bold eyeliner is on trend)! But with that dress, it all goes wrong.

  • kittentoes

    What happened to poor Cat?

  • Kerry McCombs

    Love the Stacy Q reference!

  • Nancer

    Oh my. Just – oh my. I usually try to find something positive to say, but there were some flagrant missteps here…. and they are unrecoverable.

  • dmkava

    Selena Gomez in “Don’t Tell Mom, the Babysitter’s Dead: the Sequel”

  • Imasewsure

    You are not wrong, dear uncles!

  • kimmeister

    Zendaya’s not quite matchy shoes are setting off my OCD.

  • Lori

    Good gawd, Cat Deeley shoe’s are terrible. I had to look 3 times to figure out that she doesn’t have incredibly disgusting feet. That’s not right.

  • CB

    What the EFF Ian Somerhalder?! The tightness of those clothes is doing strange things to his body.

  • moxx

    All of this pains me.

  • Radish

    Ariana Grande looks exactly the same every time I see her.

  • juniper

    a. half of these people I don’t even recognize.
    b. the other half i recognize from this blog.
    c. and then zendaya from that Tim Gunn show episode.

    2. is it a thing now for red carpet lighting to make everyone look like a doll/head too big for their body/ photoshopped?!

  • Angela_the_Librarian

    Well, on the positive side there were probably more patterns utilized here than in any other event in the past decade [not well designed patterns, but patterns nonetheless]

  • Artsygrl69

    I thought Bella Thorne was going for sweet and sexy, a bit twee with a plunging neckline. The illusion netting keeps it from becoming too over the top. If the neckline was more sedate, it would be a pretty dress.

  • Jennifer Schiller

    I’m pretty certain Hillary Duff is wearing an old Lizzie McGuire costume. Seriously make that skirt flowy and cotton and pair it with sandals and I believe you have every Delia’s catalog of my youth.


  • smh4748

    This is the worst red carpet rundown of all time. Wow. Just a fugly, misguided bunch of clothes.

  • alyce1213

    I like that Elie Saab on Hailee Steinfeld. (Ducks)
    Yeah, it’s twee and doll-like, but so is she. She’s 17 — she doesn’t have much longer to wear these looks.

    • altermyego

      I like it too. She’s staying on trend by wearing long sleeves in August but they’re sheer so she’s one up on all the other lady stars.

  • Zuber

    With all the money and stylists at hand they come up with this shittery. Shame on you celeb teens; regular teens wear better clothes

  • bitchybitchybitchy

    A Russian version of Jodie Foster in Taxi Driver-yet more proof of why I love my uncles so much.
    btw-was that sad red satin mini really from Dior?

  • demidaemon

    I think that was the most horrid rundown of a red carpet ever. What the hell happened? Why does Ian Somerholder’s torso look so weird? Who changed out Selena’s drugs? Why is there so much fug? Doea Arianna’s face always have that horrible expression? I must know the answers to these questions.

    • Kitten Mittons


      1. Alcohol
      2. He’s an alien robot trying to impersonate Rob Lowe, and his normal torso engine burned out. They had to replace the torso with a refurbished Bieber torso while the replacement is flown in from another galaxy. 2-4 weeks lead time.
      3. Some truly wonderful pharmacist who loves fashion and hates Demi Lovato/Vanessa Hudgens/Miley Cyrus/insert generic Disney star here that Selena is currently feuding with.
      4. More alcohol, probably drugs.
      5. Yes, goddammit all to hell.

      You’re welcome, and I’m sorry. So very sorry.

      • demidaemon

        Thank you for your dedicated research. Is it bad that I am weirdly attracted to the Rob Lowe Android when his torso is correctly installed?

        Also, #2 and #5 are comedy gold, while the rest are at least a silver. Bravo, my dear. Bravo.

        • Kitten Mittons

          I will not judge you. I mean, Rob Lowe is a handsome man, so it makes sense. It’s the smirk that gets me, usually, so if you could wipe that off, I could see it. I’ll take another look in 2-4 weeks.

          And thanks!

  • The Versatile Chef

    When I read “mat-adorable!”, I immediately thought of “Madame Rose and her Toreadorables!”.

    /theatre geek

  • spirit52

    Lmao @ ALL your comments!

  • Mojone

    It’s that godawful backdrop which is making everything (and every one) look worse.
    No wonder Selena looks the best — her plain black suit is the only thing that doesn’t clash.

    Really. Go back and look again while imaging a plain white or plain black
    backdrop behind them. Doesn’t everything come up a notch or two?

  • cocohall

    Were all of Hollywood’s gays on vacation? Was there a Stylists strike? This line-up is giving me a collective sad. The fashion brief would seem to be simple: THINK KATY PERRY! Color, whimsy, kittens! And instead we have Zendaya wearing a three stooges wig and Willow Shields in discards from the retirement home. There is no excuse for this.

  • PinkyK

    “Applied her make up with a pillow!” Oh how I love your witty repartee!

  • yayito83

    This is the worst red carpet ever!

  • SouthernGirlRena

    Are you sure these people are all attending the same event?

  • jilly_d

    LMFAO at the Cat Deeley caption. Well played, boys.

  • Sara Hottman

    “Marie Osmond Doll Collection”: Nailed. It.

    This is award-winning analysis.

  • SoAnnaPropriate

    Red carpet recap genius! Worth the assault on the senses to read the captions.

  • Susan Velazquez

    Zendaya really does look like a Barbie I once had. Although mine had a much cuter outfit and better hair.

  • dschubba

    Wow. A seventeen-way tie for last place.

    Hilary Duff looks like early-00s Meg Ryan, when she was trying to reinvent herself with “edgy” roles.

    • Shawn EH

      Hilary needs to go full-on Miley or give up and buy the SUV.

  • MVM

    I am a longtime reader; don’t think I’ve ever posted, but I came here to tell you how thoroughly entertained I was by your captions/assessment. I was whispering “oh snap!” at my phone multiple times. Thank you for these moments of sartorial levity. I needed them so badly after the news of Robin Williams’ passing.

  • ShaoLinKitten

    Ian Somerhalder looks like he is holding his breath, sucking in his gut for the picture. Go up a size!

    • Shawn EH

      You do not want to see the clips running down his back!

  • trisker

    these comments, both TLo’s and the BKs’, made my day! “Marie Osmond doll collection” “; “slowly and unexpectedly morphing into Phyllis Diller” and Flight Attendant Barbie are all SO good, as is the censor-bra and the Tay mullet. Wonderful post!

  • Erica Woods Tucker

    I almost choked on my coffee

  • Shawn EH

    Sarah Hyland for the win, Selena Gomez a close second, and Kellan is giving us THIGHS! No more to say because TLo has said it all!

  • Is it awful that I like Zendaya’s dress?

  • LeelaST

    I thought Lucy Hale’s look was terrible and then I scrolled down to the shoes. YIKES! Chloe Moretz looks like she’s wearing one of those black censor panels put in photos and vids to hide boobs, eyes, etc.

  • God, I’m old.

  • Paula Pertile

    Thanks, I needed that today.

  • GenieinTX

    Wow I haven’t seen such a collection of ugly clothes in one place in a long time. And Marie Osmond Doll Collection” levels of Twee might be one of the best comments you have ever made on this blog… ever. Bravo good sirs!

    • Amel

      With the possible exceptions of Sarah Hyland and Selena Gomez, every one of these people is a tragic fashion vicitm

  • Columbinia

    That was fun.

  • pdquick

    Let’s play “Who’s going to be the fattest in 20 years?” GO!

  • Clash D

    My thoughts going through these photos: Where the hell do they get all these tacky outfits.

  • cowper

    Lucy Hale is auditioning to be Sexy Jingle-Bell Elf in a naughty Christmas pageant.