Let’s loudly and unfairly judge young people and make them cry! Are you ready?
WE SAID, “ARE YOU READY?!?”
Then let us commence.
Dangerously high levels of twee! Bordering on “Marie Osmond Doll Collection” levels!
Backup dancer for Stacey Q!
Theme restaurant hostess! Yes, I WOULD like a drink served in a pineapple, thank you!
Welcome to the Playboy Club. May I see your key?
Gay levels of clothing tightness!
Slowly and unexpectedly morphing into Phyllis Diller! Applied her makeup with a pillow!
Kind of disco-fabulous, but a little boring and tonally off for the event!
Congratulations, dear, but your Bat Mitzvah’s being held across the street!
Just happy to be here, thanks!
That dress should be worn by a potted fern!
Willow Shields in Emanuel Ungaro Resort 2015
Oh, HONEY. You are SO gonna get drunk some night in your thirties and laugh-cry over this.
Trying WAY too hard!
Barbie flight attendant!
Wait. How did SHE wind up the chic one in this crowd? What does THAT tell you?
If we were assholes and actually thought this was cute, we’d say “MATADORABLE!”
But we’re not (arguably) and we don’t, so we think she looks like a Russian version of Jodie Foster in Taxi Driver.
[Photo Credit: Getty Images]