2014 MTV Video Music Awards Red Carpet Rundown

Posted on August 25, 2014

ARE YOU VMA’D OUT YET, KITTENS?

Have you had enough of the vapid attention-seeking and almost total lack of taste? HAHA. US TOO. But before we move onto the Emmy pre-parties, let’s slam these leftovers one last time, shall we? Quick n’ dirty-style. Let’s all just shout out the first thing that comes into our heads, mkay?

Go.

 

Rita Ora in Donna Karan Atelier

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Lingerie!

 

 

Gwen Stefani in L.A.M.B
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She’s not like other moms! She’s a cool mom!

 

 

Solange Knowles in H&M Studio Collection
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“My sister is about to be crowned Queen of the World. You think I’m putting any effort in tonight? Fuck you. And stop calling me ‘Pippa.’”

 

 

Nina Dobrev in Zuhair Murad Resort 2015
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 Kind of “Dracula’s Daughter,” which is appropriate, we suppose!

 

 

Julianne Hough in Emilio Pucci Fall 2014
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 Vadge curtains!

 

 

Laverne Cox in Marc Bouwer Fall 2013
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LOVE THIS!

 

 

Taylor Schilling in Halston Heritage
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 HATE TULIP SKIRTS! RAAAR!

Also: Them shoes ugly!

 

 

Uzo Aduba in Vintage
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“Thank you for letting us board, Captain Picard! We’ll have the rest of the delegates beamed over so we can begin negotiations immediately!”

 

 

Lucy Hale in Sachin + Babi Spring 2014 (top) and Zimmermann (skirt)
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Boring! Top AND shoes do nothing for her!

 

 

Victoria Justice in Alice + Olivia and (top) LUBLU Kira Plastinina (skirt)
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 #yourskirtisfucked!

 

 

Katherine McNamara in Alice + Olivia
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Holland Roden in Milly
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TOTALLY INTERCHANGEABLE!

 

 

Lorde in Chanel Fall 2014
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“Hi, Whoopi? This is Lorde. Listen, I have to go to the VMAs so naturally, I thought of asking you for an outfit first…”

 

Kelly Rowland in Kaufmanfranco
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 Serving up sparkly Earth Mama realness!

 

 

Demi Lovato in Lanvin
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 Honey, your boobs are making a break for it!

 

Kesha in Johanna Johnson Spring 2014
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 Ladies and Gentlemen, MISS BLANDTOINETTE TRYHARD!

 

 

[Photo Credit: David Gabber/PRPhotos.com, Getty Images]

    • mapmakerscolors

      Kesha was one of the classiest and best dressed attendees of this event. I cannot.

      • Sarah

        When a person whose hair looks like Easter grass gets called “classy,” I don’t think I can, either.

      • imspinningaround

        I have a soft spot for Kedollarsignha because she reminds me of my friend Kathleen when she was in high school, but her dress looks like it hurts to sit down in.

        • mapmakerscolors

          yeah, between the tightness in the hips and the beading, I can’t imagine that was too comfortable.

      • Paigealicious

        Is it still Ke$ha or has she eschewed the dolla’ sign?

        • tmetz85

          She got rid of it after she went to rehab

          • Kent Roby

            Rehab must be expensive!

      • MissRiss65

        It looks like it’s on backwards. The train in front. I’m confused!!!

        • FibonacciSequins

          Same thought. How do you walk in that?

      • bravobravp

        Guys, she used to wear TRASH BAGS to this event! CONFLICTED IF I HATE OR LOVE THE CHANGE.

    • Sarah

      Anyone else getting “fake drag queen breastplate” from Rita’s decolletage? It is rather….heavy looking.

    • sienna elm

      Rita Ora – Jessica Rabbit realness!

      Gwen Stefani – Barbie and the Rockers realness!

      Nina Dobrev – Is that a WWE championship belt?

      Uzo Aduba – Janet Jackson Rhythm Nation backup dancer

      • http://darlinglola.blogspot.com Laura K

        Ha! I was just about to post: “I bet Jessica Rabbit is pissed that Rita stole her dress!”

      • MissRiss65

        Saggy boobs Jessica, maybe

    • Anna

      First thought when I saw Lorde: Uncle Fester (if you shaved her head).
      I love the straight hair on Laverne but would like a different hair colour for her.
      So disappointed in Gwen, I count on her to actually look cool. She’s looked much cooler “going to the chiropractor” than this.
      Kelly Rowland looks lovely

      • J.W.

        Uncle Fester!!!!

      • decormaven

        I figure Laverne’s hair was in keeping with the homage to Britney last pm.

      • livesarah

        Exactly my thought about Gwen. And she also looks like she puts in more *effort* to look good going to the chiropractor too! I guess she is trying to flog her clothing line, but if that’s the best of L.A.M. B she really should have stayed home.

    • Judy_J

      Man, that is quite the parade of crap. (Except for you, Laverne. You need to give lessons to these other girls.)

      • http://redheadedwolf.wordpress.com/ Laura Renee

        She’s especially putting to shame Taylor Schilling’s awkward, embarrassed posing. Who’s the star of the show here?

      • leahpapa

        Except: Please start standing like a grown-up. But I love the new hair.

        • Snailstsichr

          Yes, please. Taylor would have been tolerable if her posture was better.

    • Dany

      I can’t deal with Victoria Justice, that made me laugh so much.

      Gwen Stefani has my heart ..

      • kerryev

        ‘Kira Plastinina’ is the name of the character who wears that skirt to the aforementioned space diplomacy event.

    • papillon

      Rita Ora seems like SUCH a try hard. HONEY, YOU WILL NEVER BE RIHANNA. JUST LET IT GO. (And I don’t even like Rihanna.)

      I really like Uzo’s dress but not for this event.
      This is the best I’ve seen Laverne look! Snaps. But boo to that hair colour.

      Demi looks like baby Kim. I bet Naya Rivera would wear that. Neither of those are compliments. ETA: I think the issue with Demi’s look is really the chest area. If she was taller and it came down as a low cut V with a hint of cleavage, it wouldn’t be so bad but as it is, it just looks like her breasts are trying to escape.
      I didn’t know Kelly was pregnant. She looks lovely and happy.
      Solange looks like she needs a nap. You could have stayed home, girl.
      Lorde always looks like a witch, no matter what she wears.

      • Sarah

        Yeah, Uzo looks great. I don’t mind her outfit for this because she’s not a musician, and the metallic shoes make it jazzy enough.

        • VCR1

          I thought Uzo looked great too!

          • demidaemon

            Agreed! My favorite of the bunch.

        • Darcy H

          I think maybe different hair and earrings would have made it less Trekie? But she still looks great.

    • hughman

      “#yourskirtisfucked!” Hashtag shady apes.

    • dmkava

      Gwen Stefani–J.Lo–let it go, I think the cool mom comment is apt

    • stellavision

      Demi Lovato is 22 years old. I can’t with this one.

      • dmkava

        22 going on 44

      • mshesterp

        That dress is one of the meanest things I’ve ever seen perpetrated on a lady’s cleavage. Why, Demi, why?!?

    • FibonacciSequins

      Lorde reminds me more of Florence Welch than Whoopi. She’s more interesting than 90% of the pop tarts on this red carpet.

      • Paigealicious

        And like Florence, looks about 90% older than she actually is…

        • FibonacciSequins

          That’s true. I literally could not believe it when I first found out her age.

      • random_poster

        Yes! More pop, less tart!!

      • DuBey2

        Yes, but TLo’s “Lorde-cap” about her borrowing Whoopi’s outfit gave me my first laugh of the day. I love her voice(Lorde) & I know she’s dressing this way on purpose (probably because of her style of music), but it kinda makes me mad that she’s ignoring her beautiful bone structure and other attributes, & always dressing to just look ironic or something. What’s wrong with looking pretty, or even beautiful?

        • Clash D

          She’ll probably do The Pretty for album and music videos when she feels like it. I’m sure she knows that she has some looks.

    • Sam Smith

      Where are da boys?1?

    • IAmJ

      I know I should let it go because child is about half my age, but man, does Lorde make me stabby.

      • Glam Dixie

        It’s like she’s shouting at us, “Hi, I’m Lorde and I’m quirky!”

    • dmkava

      Please bring on the actual Emmys, with the amount of talent in television now, it should be a decent red carpet

    • http://fibonaccisequins.storenvy.com/ Danielle

      Lorde’s jumpsuit made me cringe almost as hard as her fake for-the-cameras friendship with Taylor Swift.

    • Inspector_Gidget

      Some white bunny slippers would complete Lorde’s look nicely.

      • Sarah

        The Olsen twins and a dank opium den, is what I was thinking.

    • In_Stitches

      Rita Ora never wears a bra, and let me tell you Rita…you need to wear a bra! Her boobs hang so low, there’s no torso left. She’s just boobs ‘n hips.

      I’m dying at the Lorde Whoopi comparison.

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

      Demi Lovato’s MUA needs to get a new job. Solange needs to have a think about proportions, as I am fairly sure “rickety Victorian street urchin” was not her style inspiration.

    • teensmom99

      Demi Lovato is here to answer the question” What do the starlets do to make their boobs stay in a dress?” “You see, right here I put a piece of tape, and another here, and another here . . .”

    • Glam Dixie

      Gwen Steffani looks baa-aaa-aa-aaad. (sorry, I had to)

    • elemspbee

      gwen stefani flawless! Laverne get it girl

    • semirose

      I actually really like and want Lorde’s lipstick.

      • FibonacciSequins

        I had that lipstick in the early 80s (what was I thinking?).

        • marlie

          And it was back in the late 90s, too. *shudder*

      • MilaXX

        MAC Pure Heroine

        • semirose

          Ooo thank you!

      • deelup

        It is awesome. Get it.

    • Violentcello

      Solange would look pretty rad if her jacket fit.

    • FibonacciSequins

      The triangles hanging off Laverne’s shoulder bug me. Otherwise, she looks great and certainly the best of the bunch here.

      I don’t understand why Gwen’s top doesn’t fit. It’s from her own line!

      I love Kelly Rowland’s dress. Nice choice for a pregnant lady figure.

      I’m glad to know I’m not alone in my hatred of the tulip skirt. Blechh!

      • Sarah

        I hate ‘em too, but this one is less irritating than others. At least it’s tailored, and not gathered like many tulip skirts are. She looks fab from the waist up, anyway.

        • FibonacciSequins

          You’re right, it could be worse.

      • DuBey2

        yeah, Laverne is the one who struck me as Star Trek wardrobe, with the one triangle springing upward off her shoulder.
        Kelly Rowland FTW, at least of this group. (I didn’t watch the show so I don’t know what other stars I missed)

    • venusvelvet

      I could just see the Vadge Curtains pulling open like a stage. Also agree on tulip skirts – unflattering and awkward to sit in.

    • AzSportsGirl

      Solange – MARCIA!! MARCIA!! MARCIA!!

    • marlie

      LOVED Gwen Stefani’s look. Perfect.
      What in the holy hell is Julianne Hough wearing??
      I *love* Laverne’s bangs!
      #yourskirtisfucked made me laugh out loud. That’s such a stupid purse.
      That’s the classiest I’ve ever seen Kesha. Not bad.

      • demidaemon

        That purse is so stupid it has become assy.

    • AzSportsGirl

      Lorde – NOT ROCK AND ROLL. #TEETHGNASH

    • MsKitty

      When I saw Julianne Hough’s dress my first thought was it’s too bad the cats mistook it for curtains and climbed up.

    • MilaXX

      i think Lorde wins the WTF award for this lot.

      • demidaemon

        I don’t know. It’s quite the competition.

    • Lori

      The skirt of Kesha’s dress is on backwards, right?

    • deelup

      Don’t want to be or do any of these bitches.

    • schadenfreudelicious

      Demi Lovato…good lord, never have I seen a rack so in need of wrangling…

    • Call me Bee

      Oh whatever. I am so crabby today.

    • nancymae

      Just how high was Solange yesterday? She clearly had no fucks to give but I like her suit… and it can be yours for less than $200!

      As for Uzo, that dress is not the best but I loved her on stage so all is forgiven.

      • Anplica Fiore

        Yeah – the first thing I thought when looking at Uzo was Hendrix’s lesser know song “Boxy Lady”.

        • KinoEye

          “You know you’re a cute little rectangle,
          Boxy!
          And you know you have sweet little right angles,
          Boxy!”

    • decormaven

      I’m waiting for Kelly Rowland to bust out singing “You’re The Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me.” Total Gladys Knight look.

    • Little_Olive

      Solange looks like Donna Summer’s depressed little sister. Cheer up, hon. You actually got the better end of the deal with Bey.

    • Town

      Rita = White Rihanna, Demi = Kim did it better, Gwen Stefani = Old Iggy. The rest of the people get a Who????

      • RoseJB

        White? I’m confused.

    • Tina Power

      I’m kinda proud of Kesha. That’s the healthiest she’s looked in forever. Bland or whatever, she’s still looking amazing.

    • AlisonS

      Lorde’s looked better on her Twitter feed. But who knows how many filters were used. Kesha needs to shower. I’m pretty sure that dress was returned smelling like skunk weed.

    • FuhUgh

      Gwen Stefani: Rock Star Barbie!
      Solange: Walking Dead!

    • JimMcC

      Not gonna lie: I thought this was the best Uzo has ever looked. I LOVED that dress and thought that it was just perfection on her. And maybe at another event, I would have quibbled over the choice of earrings, but compared to everyone else? I mean…Good LORD, Julianne Hough.

    • Caaro3

      Is Rita Ora wearing the dress that got Mitchell auf’d on PR last week?

      • tpalgal

        Not unless she added about 6″ to the hemline! ;D

        • demidaemon

          It’s too bad they never have had a VMAs challenge, because this would be the perfect one for designers like Mitchell and Hernan.

    • spirit52

      I loved Gwen stefanis outfit. Chic, cool, fun

      • veriance

        the boob sitch is distracting but otherwise I agree with you.

    • AzSportsGirl

      I have Demi Lovato’s shape. Boobs, hips. short-waisted. I would never try to pull off a Laura Bennett-esque naked clavacle neckline.

      • JimMcC

        You’re officially much smarter than Demi Lovato! So…congrats on whatever that’s worth! :)

      • JimMcC

        Suddenly concerned that sounded bitchy instead of lighthearted, and I
        don’t know how to edit! So…know the intention was the latter!

        • AzSportsGirl

          Oh I got it. It’s all good but thanks for the clarification.

        • RoseJB

          Ha ha! It did sound bitchy! But good save!

    • jilly_d

      Is Julianne Hough morphing into a post- nose job Meg Ryan?

    • Alyssa

      I CANNOT with the hashtaghashtag clutch. Or most of these outfits, actually.

    • tpalgal

      Love: Laverne’s bangs and sleek hair; Uzo’s pose – fierce!; how healthy and happy Kesha looks; Kelly’s bump.

      Do not love: Katherine McNamara(WHO IS THIS?)’s micro-mini-grandma’s-sofa-upholstery-fabric dress – why so ridiculously short? Once again, ladies, just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Also not loving Gwen’s outfit – mama, you usually look spectacular, so this is disappointing. And why is Lorde wearing her bathrobe – was she maybe under the weather?

    • SugarSnap108

      Yelling at my screen is fun.

      Rita: Droopy!
      Nina: Goth Statue of Liberty!

      Julianne: Who cares!
      Laverne: Heidi Klum!
      Taylor: Stop it!
      Victoria: #dumb!
      Holland: Who are you!
      Demi: Owwww!

    • alyce1213

      Wow, I thought you’d rip into Laverne for reverting to tight, short and shiny (and tacky) after the lovely white Donna Karan. I do not like this dress at all, I don’t like the wig, and I hate her sissy posing. She deserves much better.
      Kelly Rowland looks lovely, Gwen is in her wheelhouse, Kesha and Uzo just pass, and everyone else looks really, really bad.

    • Pterodactyl111

      #derelicte

    • Imasewsure

      “Hi, Whoopi? This is Lorde.” Worst Dressed Nominee! Wait… maybe Demi Lovato instead… Maybe two nominees from the same event??? Hurray

    • http://weirdinedgewise.blogspot.com ONEWEIRDWORD

      I disagree on Katharine McNamara. She looks great. Good shoes too.

    • CJ Michalak

      i think solange beat up David Byrne and stole his Talking Heads costume

    • Chattygal

      That was a whole lot of serious ugly.

      Did anyone see Rancic talking to Taylor Schilling on the red carpet a little while ago, fumbling for words to describe Schilling’s dress? “I love your, um… color.”

    • largishbearishAtlish

      I so love my Uncles…”Vaj Curtains”!! I love it!!!!!!

      (and can I please, pretty please have the handler behind Kelly Rowland?)

    • fananafanafophalec

      Lorde looks like death slowly warming over… perhaps that’s what the coat’s for?

    • kim bunchalastnames

      nina dobrev and julianne hough: the grecian goddesses of B&D and depression, respectively.

    • Jacqueline Wessel

      Is Kesha’ skirt on backwards? Because it looks like the train is in the front instead of the back.

    • TaurusKW

      I don’t care if it reeks of Star Trek. Uzo’s look is giving me LIFE!!!

    • StrandedFashionista

      I thought the Uncles were being harsh on Gwen. Her look was age appropriate, venue appropriate, and pretty darn chic.

    • Qitkat

      Gather round Kittens. It’s time to play Pretend Stylist for the VMAs.
      Do you: Call your next-door neighbor’s third cousin who once worked in a donut shop across the street from DVF?
      Do you: Peruse old posts of TLo for Project Runway elimination designs?
      Do you: Head to the thrift shop hoping to run into either Maggie Gyllenhaal or one of Chloé Sevigny’s alters?

      Nonono. It’s so very simple. You ask the imaginary client of your choosing one question. BRA or NO BRA?
      From then on it’s just a process of narrowing down the options.
      Let’s give them a quick rundown. Your client must answer Yes Or No to each of the following. No extra thinking time is allowed.
      Set the timer for 8.7 seconds.
      Visible nipples; Plunging; Gaping; Escaping; Tight; Shiny; Tacky; Glittery; Malfunction; Coy; Babyheads; Uniboob; Awnings; Shelf; Neck obscuring; Demure; Hidden; Tasteful; JLo; Bey; Miley; Taylor; Iggy; Katy; Nicki; Kim

      Did I forget anything?
      ;p

      • demidaemon

        What happens if they say yes to everything?

        • Qitkat

          The stylist’s head explodes! The Doctor is called in to regenerate the lost Bitter Kitten. The client runs screaming from the room, drives to the nearest bookstore where she buys a dozen copies of Everyone Wants To Be Me or Do Me, hires PR former contestant one-way monkey to create an eye-stopping look from all the covers, and wins everyone’s Best Dressed Looks!

          • demidaemon

            I was with you up until the last part, because there is no way in hell the client would be on the Best dressed List.

            • Qitkat

              My imaginary world, my Best Dressed List! Think of the spike in book sales!
              ;p

    • AnneElliot

      Laverne Cox FTW. And I do think Uzo Aduba looks great, if a little sci-fi. Love her shoes.

    • Man Dala

      Gwen’s face looks somehow different. Solange’s hair looks like a dirty mop.

    • YoungSally

      Victoria Justice – LUBLU Kira Plastinina (skirt) – How many black rubber gloves fingers were sacrificed to make that skirt?

    • Clash D

      Rita Ora’s mullet spoils the look. Wished she had rocked a short spiky head with that dress.
      Gwen Stefani looks awful. She’s lost her usual mojo here. LOL at the random zombie hand behind her.
      Solange would have looked Killa if she had that suit fitted. Her face is beautiful.
      Lucy Hale is wearing Miley’s leftover leather top.
      Katherine McNamara has such a beautiful coloring. That dress doesn’t do her justice.
      Lorde looks like an 90-year-old granny. Is she wearing Aladdin shoes?
      Demi Lovate: Tits being pulled by strong magnets in different directions.
      Everybody else: Whatever.
      Kesha looks good. Miracles do happen I suppose.

    • kimmeister

      That’s the best wig I’ve ever seen on Laverne.

    • mickiemonkey

      Laverne wins. Everyone else looks tragic.

    • demidaemon

      I love Uzo’s entire look. Beam me up to that planet. please! And I love the subtle coordination the OITNB girls had, even if Taylor fucked it up.

    • Khaleesi1031

      I fee like Lorde could be the 20s something generation’s Helene Bonham Carter

    • evave2

      Rita Ora looks like she is wearing not lingerie but hooker gear she doesn’t ever take off. Beautiful color but too slutty.

      I love both ladies from Orange.

    • livesarah

      Not sure who Katherine McNamara is but she looks wan. The hair colour doesn’t do anything for the whole overall sickly impression, and the outfit is … I feel so old and sound so judgey, but it’s too short. She has great legs, but there just needs to be more fabric on that thing.

      And Lorde needs to dial back on the schtick.

      Kelly Rowland is glowing, and looks amazing. Not striving for high fashion prego-style, just looking lovely.

    • Shoelover1512

      WHAT IS THIS?!?!?! Aside from some which don’t look horrible the rest are absolutely cringe worthy….baaaa! Make it stop!

    • Kikishua

      Are we completely sure that Lorde isn’t in a jewelled Snuggie?