Selena Gomez in L’Agence at the 2014 Ischia Global Film and Music Festival

Posted on July 17, 2014

We honestly can’t decide what’s worse here.

Selena-Gomez-LAgence-Casadei-2014-Ischia-Filme-Music-Festival-Red-Carpet-Tom-LOrenzo-Site-TLO (1)Selena Gomez attends the 2014 Ischia Global Film & Music Festival in Ischia, Italy in a L’Agence dress paired with Casadei forest green suede and python cut-out pumps.

Selena-Gomez-LAgence-Casadei-2014-Ischia-Filme-Music-Festival-Red-Carpet-Tom-LOrenzo-Site-TLO (2)

Selena-Gomez-LAgence-Casadei-2014-Ischia-Filme-Music-Festival-Red-Carpet-Tom-LOrenzo-Site-TLO (3)L’Agence Drawcord Dress

Selena-Gomez-LAgence-Casadei-2014-Ischia-Filme-Music-Festival-Red-Carpet-Tom-LOrenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Selena-Gomez-LAgence-Casadei-2014-Ischia-Filme-Music-Festival-Red-Carpet-Tom-LOrenzo-Site-TLO (5)

Is it the Vampira hair? The inexplicably and wholly unearned smug expression? The bodice of this dress, which could charitably be described as “Sack o’ boobs?” Or which could charitably be described a bodice at all? That this looks like something Liz Taylor wore in her later years when she felt like seducing the poolboy? The silly way she’s forcing that slit open as wide as possible? The dirtiness of that last question? The suede shoes paired with such a flimsy dress?

Let’s just call it all bad and be done with it, yes?





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  • RussellH88

    Why is she wearing JLo’s pajamas?

    • MoHub

      Without the pants.

  • This may be the first time boob tape has been needed for such a baggy and shapeless garment.

  • Frank_821

    This really doesn’t work for her. She’s too young

    • MoHub

      I could see Mrs. Roper in this.

    • Rhonda Shore

      It doesn’t, but i feel badly for her because she is becoming increasingly troubled. One of her parents needs to do what Britney’s father did before it’s too late.

    • Grumpy Girl

      Even more so, she’s wearing a dress that is intended for someone taller. If she were 6′ tall (and not holding the side open), this could look relatively neutral. Bad, but not horrifyingly so–we’d just be talking about the bad hair and suede shoes. (And, wasn’t Mrs. Roper kind of tall?)

  • KateMaryC

    My hair looked like on the fourth day after my keratin treatment, before I could wash it out.

  • LibKat

    She and Chrissy Teigen need to go home and beat the crap out of their stylists.

    • Connie Ray Titty

      They just need a blonde in another bad 70’s throwback outfit and they could be a low rent Charlie’s Angels reboot.

  • DaringMiss

    Oh no…she has been infected with the Disney virus that also affected Vanessa Hudgens.

    • HomeOfficeGirl

      I’m seeing VH too!! Except the one point for her would be that she’d be smiling and wearing thong shoes and probably making it “work” a bit better. Selena has no “chillin’ out” setting..

    • Thomas

      I think you mean the Disney virus that infected Vanessa Hudgens, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Miley Cyrus and Amanda Bynes (ok, the last one has serious mental health issues, but still). Did I miss anyone? As you can see, Disney has quite the track record.

      • kimmeister

        Demi Lovato was a Disney girl, no? Or was she Nickelodeon?

        • Thomas

          Ooh yes! She was Disney! Add another one to the ever expanding list!

      • demidaemon

        To be fair, at least four of the people in that list have some sort of mental health issues and three of them have been hospitalized or treated for it.

        Disney: It’s not always princesses here. Also, our next animated film: Mental, with princesses in bedsheets.

        • Thomas

          Yes, Britney and Demi are both bipolar I believe, and Lindsay suffers from drug and alcohol addiction, but still, Disney has quite the track record!

  • FrigidDiva

    If that slit wasn’t so ridiculously high, if the top wasn’t hanging open, if the bodice was actually a bodice and didn’t completely obscure her waist this dress wouldn’t be so bad, I actually like how it looks on the model. I can’t sign off on the rest though. The hair looks like Priscilla Presley, but on a bad day. Her makeup took one look at the hair and dress and went screaming off her face.

  • Anna

    Dear Selena:

    JUST BREAK UP WITH JUSTIN ALREADY!!! I promise you, you’ll instantly look better.


    The Universe

    • hyperionic

      Err they have broken up? I’m pretty sure they’re not together anymore.

      • Anna

        Last I heard, they were on again. They need to make it off again permanently, forever and ever.

  • Just a lot going on which is a shame cause loving the makeup and heels.
    But seriously, yucky dress.

  • hyperionic

    Wow. She looks soo desperate.

  • Mary Elizabeth Poytinger Baume

    sad and tragic

  • mjude

    no little girl, no

  • Janet B

    That’s bad.

  • MilaXX

    She looks tired. Literally like she needs to go take a nap. Also a little dirty. This dress is too old for her.

  • HomeOfficeGirl

    Mug shot from a night gone wrong with Vanessa Hudgens?? Selena found them passed out together, so he stole her dress and pushed them both off the balcony.

  • The suede shoes and hair are tied for worst. She needs to take breezy flats-wearing lessons from Fraulein Klum. Or boho-styling classes from Vanessa Hudgens.

  • lexilexi

    Picture 4: Not crazy about the way the elastic waist, coupled with the wide open “bodice” gives her a stomach pooch that she probably does not have otherwise.

  • Terri Ellis

    Is she just coming back from a day at the pool? Because that looks like a cover up to me.

  • Coachella was WEEKS ago, honey.

  • EveEve

    Give the dress back to Kate Hudson, Selena. She’ll know how to wear it.

  • mimi

    she has such a baby face. i know she’s trying to grow up but i can’t take it seriously.

  • Danielle

    Oh my God, it’s all just SO BAD.

  • Imma Mäder

    It’s less the dresses fault and more the wearers’. She makes an inoffensive beach dress look like something that shouldn’t be worn by anyone, ever.

  • Thomas

    It seems like nightgown/pajama chic is actually a trend now. Ugh. Just because Rihanna has done it a couple of times doesn’t mean the whole world should try it. As we’ve previously observed, Rihanna can pull things off that mere mortals can’t. And the last time Rihanna did it, it was up for debate if she really did pull it off.

  • GillianHolroyd

    This is all pretense and no presence.

    • Introspective

      nailed. everything is wearing her. no good honey.

  • cocohall

    I think that if you still have that slight hint of baby fat under your chin (my teen daughters who are both slender have it still) then you are TOO YOUNG for this look. This look says I have spent the morning f*cking, I will spend the afternoon f*cking, and I’m just up to get another tumbler of vodka rocks and sign for a FED Ex package. I think Miss Selena has put the world on notice that her days as teen role model and good girl are O-V-E-R. So, in a sense, well done, you, because there is nothing remotely ambivalent or subtle about this. She is, as we say, on message.

    • Courtenay P

      you win

    • MaggieMae

      Thank you. That really made me laugh! Well done, cocohall!

    • formerlyAnon

      Hilariously on the money! Except she will never have the presence for this. Too short, too curvy, even if she grows the metaphorical ovaries.

    • demidaemon

      On message indeed.

  • lamamu

    It’s all a conspiracy to showcase her right thigh muscle. It’s the true star of that show.

  • Should we add that this garment in no way accentuates anything about her in color style or fit? Should we say that, or take it as given?

  • Jessica Freeman


    • decormaven

      “How do you feel about Cleveland?”

    • Morgendorffer

      Also did she make that slit herself? Because it looks like the original garment didn’t have one…

  • Kitten Mittons

    This is awful. Since I cannot stand her, I am feeling the appropriate amounts of smug and schadenfreude right now.

  • Mothra


  • decormaven

    So you’ve got the gaping neckline and the dress hiked up to show your leg and beyond. That does not say anything other than Trying Way Too Hard. Those shoes elicited a guffaw from me- they are so completely wrong for that outfit. Is the Suede Shoe Council sending out cash payments to stylists to hawk such footwear?

  • ChiKat67

    She’s clearly been reading Lea Michele’s “lifestyle” book.

  • Alyssa

    Bad bad bad bad bad. It’s all bad. We see that your swimsuit coverup has a slit…quit holding it open!

  • VERY bad..done!

  • Kent Roby

    Selena looks like she was kidnapped by a pimp and put in that horrid outfit and forced to take these mug shots for potential johns. This makes me really sad. I need to see something pretty and happy ASAP.

  • Dino Bonačić

    I think you should add a contra-werq (something like FUG-IT) – to categorize ugly shit like this.

  • Anathema_Device

    Holding the slit open (yeah, that does sound filthy) is the worst of these crimes. Mostly because it is the perfect representation of the way all of this falls into the category of trying too hard.

  • Denise Rambo


  • FibonacciSequins

    So very try-hard.

  • SewingSiren

    Mug shot.

  • CT14

    The hair is awful and aging.
    I just hope “slit grabbing” doesn’t become a thing.

  • Town

    No matter how sexy this girl tries to be, she will always look like she is 12 years old playing dress up. She needs to stop trying and give in her inner cuteness.

    • formerlyAnon

      She has the Valerie Bertinelli curse. Hard to look sexy except in a child porn kinda way, even when you’re 30.

      • Thomas

        I suffer from that same curse. If I try to smolder and look sexy, it just comes across as awkward and uncomfortable.

        • formerlyAnon

          But there will be some comfort when you’re 50-some and (as long as you’ve dodged the sun) people guess your age in the late 30s. 🙂

  • Violentcello

    Most of the problems here could be fixed if she had worn this to the pool instead of a film and music festival.

  • MightyMarshal

    She’s way too short for that dress. It could be cut on someone of stature. Also the hair and makeup look like she slept in both.

  • mshesterp

    The whole thing (vacant expression, pulling the slit-up-to-there, coming-undone top) makes me really uncomfortable. I feel like she’s being photographed by a pedophile. Ick.

  • SistaT

    I … aside from the shoes … kinda love it. It just feels so much like “I wanna be a grown-up and I went playing in my mom’s closet” that I find it cute. But yeah, the hair is ick and the shoes don’t work.

  • Elisabeth Ashley

    I actually like the dress for a casual summer look, but the styling and the shoes killed it for me.

    • ktr33

      right! it’s flipflops and floppy hat going to dinner at the beach dress

  • Kirstin McAulay

    honestly can not see the slit on the model and thought she was just hoiking her skirt up for the photogs!

    • kimmeister

      That’s the thing – I don’t think there is a slit on the model’s dress. For me that’s the worst thing about this whole scenario – that she added a mile high slit AND is holding it open like an idiot.

  • Jennifer Schiller

    She looks like a Madame Toussaud’s wax version of Selena Gomez. I just picture touristy kids posing with her.

  • histrogeek

    Some days it’s important to remember that one horrible thing does not exclude any other. There is nothing good here.

  • Imasewsure

    Bad and done. Yes

  • OffToSeeHim

    God, the way she’s holding that slit open is TERRIBLE. It’s like she’s thinking, “They’re all going to think this is just a sack if I don’t do something to sex it up.” And, not for nothing, put your tits away.

  • In_Stitches

    There’s no waist, no negative space. She’s a big ol’ block of revealing chambray.

  • Jacob Bowen

    Angelina leg and suede shoes was not the way to work this Selena. Ship this off to am Olsen twin and watch them add fifteen bags, a scarf, some flats, and a big floppy hat to wear his the right way.

  • “That this looks like something Liz Taylor wore in her later years when she felt like seducing the poolboy?”

    I picture the…not-so-good Liz years because when I saw the outfit, I pictured her older, bloated, crystal bottle of booze in hand and yelling at someone to get the peanuts out of her trail mix.

  • Judy_J


  • MaggieMae

    To me, this reads: “I just joined a cult”.

  • Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

    Justin Bieber ruins everything.

  • random_poster

    “Let’s just call it all bad and be done with it, yes?”


    • PinkyK


  • smayper

    Sack O’Boobs!! Cackling like a madwoman at my desk. SO PERFECT. Wow that garment is horrible. WOW.

  • Carrie

    It looks like a hospital gown o O

  • Kbear

    It doesn’t really look much like her. That first photo is almost a mugshot. The dress looks like someone else’s clothes. She got out of the pool and grabbbed the first thing she saw. Weird.

  • GoryDetails

    Eep! The pose is awful, and it doesn’t help that she looks as if she’s only doing this under threat. (The “dress” itself is rather cute – as something to throw on over one’s swimsuit at the beach.)

  • unbornfawn

    70’s porn star has-been.

  • marlie

    For real, though, ladystars, why do you find it necessary to hold the slit of you dress open? WHY?? Also, with the way that the tie on her bodice is so loose, I think she *wants* to have a wardrobe malfunction.

  • Vanessa Reyes

    This whole look reminds me of one of those cheesy historical romance novel covers. All she is missing is her Fabio.

  • Belvane

    Yes, it’s a very pretty leg, honey. Now put it away.

  • Madeline Zappala

    the greasy make up!

  • spirit52

    she was channeling her inner Olsen Twin. FAIL.

  • That’s just a bad dress. I don’t think anyone could have pulled it off, and certainly not a girlish looking woman like Selena.

  • AndieJay

    Pretty soon we’ll be able to crop a bunch of these pics and play “Guess whose sternum!”

  • save_the_hobbit

    That’s….really bad. Is the boob job messing with her head already?

  • formerlyAnon

    She’s not – and never will be – imposing enough for this. She’s trying, in that last shot, with posture and stride, but no. At no age will she have the command and presence to triumph over this. Unless she’s wearing it as poolside equivalent of ex-boyfriend’s sweatpants + oversized t-shirt.

  • willworktomorrow

    Oh, the pose is terrible. I like this dress for poolside cover up, or breezy summer outdoor party of any kind.

  • demidaemon

    What’s really amazing about this dress is that you see it on Selena and think “Oh GOD NO” but on the model it looks cute and beachy (and not saggy and baggy and slitty). WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE!?

    • formerlyAnon

      We can start with about 10 inches of leg . . .

      • demidaemon

        Well, yes, that helps, but still, it seems like she cut a slit in it herself for some unfathomable reason….

    • livesarah

      It’s the DGAF on the model vs. the desperation to turn it into something sexy on Selena. The heels aren’t helping either.

  • dash1211

    It looks as if she’s outside on a super-humid day. Not a good look for anyone.

  • JackieOBlue

    Uh oh another celebrity in fear of their 15 minutes running out soon

  • This girl. I just want to hug her and feed her muffins and make collages of our feelings together until this whole dark time in her life is over. This outfit is the least of her problems (which is saying something.) She doesn’t look smug to me, she looks checked-out, and I think the outfit reflects that.

    • ktr33


  • SuzyQuzey

    She looks totally baked. Hanging out with the Biebs again, no doubt. This is what you throw on when you’re completely out of it but still must make a contractual appearance.

  • poggi

    The neck slit is so deep that you can see the inside fabric of the waistband. She has taken a laid-back, beachy dress and made it too artificial and vampy. I can’t think of another example where someone has gone up a size to sex it up.

  • understateddiva

    I dig the smug expression. If you can put on your diva face in that outfit, you’re goin’ places, kid.

    • ktr33

      I don’t see diva at all, I see dead eyes, like @gemfemme:disqus

  • boweryboy

    Thank GOD that’s a slit!

    I kept asking myself, “Who does that? Who lifts up a floor length dress to show off their legs?” Knowing it’s a slit only makes it a little less confusing, but not by much.

  • GemFemme

    Wow, her eyes look so dead. Kinda sad really.

  • LadyLuck777

    Wait…I thought she was pregnant.

  • quiltrx

    So, my hair totally looked like this, in a shorter version, yesterday. Know why? I had had a cloth headband around the front and two no-look ponytails in the back…to keep my hair out of my face while cleaning my sewing studio and sweating profusely.
    I brushed it out later, and it looked exactly like this. So, in my long, roundabout way, I’m saying her hair looks like shit. And probably smells sweaty. Or dry-shampoo-y.
    P.S. her stiff, awkward, ‘my dress is about to fall off’ poses ALMOST distract me momentarily from the pile of shit that is this entire look.

  • musi_

    this offends me. make up is also looking average no?

  • lilazander

    …bad and pretentious.

  • livesarah

    That’s a whole pile’o’yuck. She also looks strangely washed out, like she’s suffered a bout of gastro or something. But it’s the hand constantly holding open the slit of that dress that i find most irritating of all. Eww.

  • ktr33

    I actually think she looks drunk, more than smug. Out of it. And that’s a dress for sandals — even flipflops! — not suede and gold pumps. The whole thing’s giving me the willies. Is she still a teenager? Her parents should pick her up right now and take her home and “you go upstairs to your room right now, young lady, and we’ll discuss this in the morning!”

  • Miss Atomic

    She is not succeeding at copying Nikki Minaj’s new downplayed normcore look.

  • Ann VerWiebe

    It’s like a beach cover-up with Priscilla Presley’s hair

  • naarden

    The color is horrible

  • Kristi Puckett Carrillo

    She’s not smug. She just looks sad.