Jessica Alba in Tanya Taylor & Zimmerman at Comic-Con 2014

Posted on July 29, 2014

It almost feels weird, dealing with a Jessica Alba who actually is poledancing for a project instead of modeling-for-dollars at a store opening somewhere.

Was that bitchy? We need a level check here.

Jessica-Alba-Tanya-Taylor-Zimmermann-Comic-Con-2014-Tom-LOrenzo-Site-TLO (1)Jessica Alba attends the “Sin City: A Dame To Kill” Comic Con Presentation in San Diego, California in a Tanya Taylor top paired with a Zimmermann skirt, Kotur ‘Guzel’ heels, Porter Lyons snake ring, Bones & Feathers ring, and Maria Black jewelry.

Jessica-Alba-Tanya-Taylor-Zimmermann-Comic-Con-2014-Tom-LOrenzo-Site-TLO (2)Zimmermann Resort 2015 Collection

Jessica-Alba-Tanya-Taylor-Zimmermann-Comic-Con-2014-Tom-LOrenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Jessica-Alba-Tanya-Taylor-Zimmermann-Comic-Con-2014-Tom-LOrenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Jessica-Alba-Tanya-Taylor-Zimmermann-Comic-Con-2014-Tom-LOrenzo-Site-TLO-(4B)Kotur ‘Guzel’ Sandal

Jessica-Alba-Tanya-Taylor-Zimmermann-Comic-Con-2014-Tom-LOrenzo-Site-TLO (5)

Jessica-Alba-Tanya-Taylor-Zimmermann-Comic-Con-2014-Tom-LOrenzo-Site-TLO (6)

Jessica-Alba-Tanya-Taylor-Zimmermann-Comic-Con-2014-Tom-LOrenzo-Site-TLO (7)

Holy shit, she’s gone crazy.

In a way, we have to admire it. Her default style, when she’s doing the store-opening/charity event/book signing thing, is to show up in a very well-to-do, pulled-together, ladies-who-are-far-too-busy-too-lunch kind of outfit. But Miss Thing has a film to promote (for once) and she’s taking the opportunity (and the setting) to yank the spotlight onto herself in a very un-ladylike manner. She’s gone from “As a mother, I’m happy to come out and tonight and support my good friend Kate Spade/Stella McCartney/Diane Von Furstenburg/Cynthia Rowley” to “SIT THE FUCK DOWN, NERDS, AND GET A LOAD OF THIS!”





[Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews, Zimmermann, Kotur]

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  • Those shoes are too much next to that skirt. It kinda works in a Warcraft Troll way, though.

    • demidaemon

      Psshaw. Warcraft Troll women dress much better than this.

      • It would have been pretty sick if she’d committed to one of their hairstyles. And tusks.

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        • demidaemon

          It definitely would have amused me, for sure!

    • BayTampaBay

      True, but I love those shoes


    • evave2

      I say salt-and-burn THEN release to the winds in cremated form. The worst shoes I’ve seen all month. And I’ve seen a passel here. Can’t even discuss the clothes (I do like that plain bra, but it’s a plan bra, right.)

    • Sarah

      Kotur is Nuclear Wintour’s handmaiden. That is the only excuse for these shoes: Alba is trying to get a Vogue cover. Those are the ugliest shoes I have ever seen. Lucite stripper heels with live goldfish swimming in the platforms would be less horrendous.

  • Alexis Wenceslao


  • Grumpy Girl

    What is this mystery project of hers? And why does it require her to wear a sports bra as a top?

    • MilaXX

      Sin City II

    • Frank_821

      Sequel to Sin City. If she’s playing the same character, then this is very appropo. She was a stripper that Bruce Willis was protecting from a rich uber-perv

    • FrigidDiva

      She plays a stripper who’s out for vengence.

      • Kayceed

        AHA! I was wondering why she kept thrusting her pelvis at us under that voluminous skirt.

  • MilaXX

    It’s overdone and a little silly looking. Hate the hair, hate the shoes fighting the skirt (which I barely like) for attention.

  • If there was ever a skirt which did NOT need matching shoes, this one is IT. She looks like she left the gym, was in the taxi getting dressed for a belly dancer convention and couldn’t change the top before the door opened. Not that anyone at Comic Con will care, it seems.

  • Karen Belgrad

    It’s the Leaning Tower of Jessica Alba’s Abs!

  • Heather

    Is her top riding up in a weird way or something? I can’t quite figure out what is going on with the bottom edge of that thing…

  • Anna

    I come here for the bitchy, there’s no such thing as a too bitchy level!

    I’ll give her points for this being the most interesting thing I’ve seen her in for a long time (perhaps ever). Sure, that’s a bikram yoga top, but it actually really works with the busy-ness of the skirt (the shoes on the other hand, though…)

    Look Jessica, someone using toxic cleaning products! *snatches ring*

  • Alyssa

    It was bitchy, but that doesn’t make it not true. Sports bras are not shirts, those shoes are hiddy.

    • Imasewsure

      Sports bras are only shirts if you are Gwen Stefani… otherwise shirt up ladies!!

      • Kitten Mittons

        Shirt up, ladies. I will be using this frequently, it being summer in the south and all. Thanks for that.

  • Frank_821

    The shoes are too wrong for words. But this works all things considered and that the movie is a sequel to a story by Frank Miller. It’s demure considering the film

  • Emily Giovanni

    I actually kind of like the skirt. Or I would if those shoes didn’t ruin everything within a 5-block radius.

  • Kbear

    That sure is something alright. That skirt seems to be swallowing her up and it is way too close to those shoes. Looking at her bottom half is giving me the fidgits.

  • FrigidDiva

    So the dress code for Comic Con for the ladies was crop tops? At least this one works with the skirt, but those shoes are truly heinous. I don’t mind the hair, when she’s standing next to Michelle Rodriguez (who has the half shaved head) it kind of makes sense.

    • random_poster

      Yep. Dishwater dull.

  • mellorcr

    I don’t hate the shoes. I think they might have worked if the skirt was as short on her as it was on the model. I do hate the sports bra.

    • Gatto Nero

      Exactly. With the skirt that length, her tasseled feet look like a weird extension of the garment.

      • FibonacciSequins

        They do look like an extension of the skirt.


  • telophase

    The skirt reminds me of those slips made with bands sewn onto the bottom hem with a loose stitch so that you can cut the length to suit.

    • alyce1213

      I like that, it’s very beautiful faggoting.

  • Sam Smith

    Why so many crop tops/jog bras today?

    • alyce1213


  • lunchcoma

    She is more of a model than an actress these days. Nothing bitchy about recognizing it. Being a mocktress isn’t prestigious, but I get the feeling Jessica makes out pretty well financially.

  • Kent Roby

    Change the shoes to comfy flats, and she’ll win “Best Dressed” at Coachella.

  • Amílcar Castaneda

    My god, I love it, I can feel it! Very free.

  • alyce1213

    I really like that skirt, it’s exotic. I don’t like the crop top trend, but this is not too bad, it kind of works with the skirt.
    The shoes are just overdone. If they didn’t have the placket and tassels, just a strappy brown sandal, they’d be fine. She looks good.

    • conniemd

      I really like the skirt too. The shoes are too much.

    • SugarSnap108

      Oh good, I was starting to think I was alone on this one. I love the skirt.

  • Tracy_Flick

    That’s very reminiscent of Jada Pinkett-Smith’s sports bra/cutout skirt/fugly shoes outfit. I can’t decide which I hate more.

  • random_poster

    Lose the shoes, and this is strangely acceptable mainly due to the venue.

  • ChelseaNH

    It’s better than the Jada Pinkett Smith version of bra top/long skirt with horizontal cut-outs/funky shoes, but that doesn’t make it actually good.

  • hughman

    “I’m happy to come out and tonight and support my good friend Kate Spade/Stella McCartney/Diane Von Furstenburg/Cynthia Rowley”

    I hope you’re wearing sunscreen, Diane ’cause you are getting BURNT!

  • Imasewsure

    Love the fabric of the skirt….. It’s hilarious though to see what these stuffy actors (and/or their stylists) think is edgy and cool

  • rkdgal

    The shoes need to be sent to Miss Guatemala Universe, stat! (Actually, they’re not over-the-top enough for that kind of drag.) Shorten the skirt by that last stupid non-symmetrical tier and I could be on board.

  • Sara Brams-Miller

    I am LOVING that skirt.

  • You’ve got your sports bra on with a pretty skirt. Sit down.

  • Qitkat

    I kind of love this, but I wish her top were in the fabric/color of the model’s, even if it stayed as a sports bra.

    • formerlyAnon

      Precisely. The spareness of the sports bra look would have been better than the model’s overdone bathroom trash can o’ metallic if it had only had the interest of that fabric.

  • MarissaLG

    The shoes were a bad choice.

  • Glam Dixie

    Those shoes require a much shorter and less busy skirt. I can’t say that there is anything that I like here.

  • KendraMR

    I love the skirt, but the shoe are way too much and I wish she would have wore a longer top rather than a crop top; nevertheless, she gets an Attagirl.

  • Denise Rambo

    Those shoes are WAY too busy for that skirt.

  • shopgirl716

    The shoes… Just. No.

  • marlie

    Good GOD that shit’s hideous. I mean… I… there are no words.

    To be fair, her hair and makeup are fine. But that skirt and those shoes are hurting my eyes.

  • mdcoon127

    Love it! all of it – what in heaven’s name is wrong with me?

  • Kitten Mittons

    I hate this whole outfit, but I’m shocked I am apparently alone in my hatred for that skirt. Shocked, kittens.

    I will hold my ground. It could be a cute skirt with some MAJOR changes, but as it is, it’s too long, too many cutouts, too much crap all over it.

    And unfortunately for Jessica, I hit my quota on crop tops earlier today with Vanessa Hudgens. And hers looked better anyway.

    The shoes, we shall not speak of these.

    • demidaemon

      Nope. I hate it too. I think pretty much the whole outfit is hideous.

      • Kitten Mittons

        Thank you, I felt like maybe I should check my eyesight or my temperature or something.

  • PastryGoddess

    There was so much shade in that paragraph, I have taken my sunglasses off

  • Betsy

    The top on the model reminds me of 30 Rock when Jenna was filming a horror movie and they were spoofing hiding her pregnancy with insanely large props.

  • nannypoo

    If the skirt were cut off right above the wide net section and if the shoes were donated to a circus, then I could get behind this.

  • Adrianna Grężak

    I like that she seems to know what venue she’s in. Even the faux shaved head works. (Seriously more of a trend among hipster girls than people realize)

  • kimmeister

    This is making her normally perfect proportions seem completely wonky.

  • prisma

    She acts?

    • somebody blonde

      She looks pretty, and then she says lines. I don’t think we’d go so far as to call it “acting.”

  • suzq

    From far away, the skirt fabric looks like a luxurious, Oriental print in silk. Closer up, it’s obviously an Indian-styled cotton batik. How it plays tricks with the eye is amazing. I suspect that in person, it looks less than amazing.
    The skirt is too complicated. The shoes are too complicated. But the whole thing is certainly attention getting and I don’t hate it from afar.

  • somebody blonde

    That skirt, or those shoes. NOT BOTH.

  • jeneria

    I actually like the skirt and shoes, but hate the very Beverly Hills 90210 Donna Martin top.

  • I feel like Betsey Johnson wouldn’t even wear that outfit.

  • BlairBear

    I would tweak it more than overhaul it. the top pains me and the shoes too but the skirt is working for her so maybe a still sexy but not so bra like crop top and some simpler and less stumpifying shoes

  • KayEmWhy

    I like everything, but not all together. It is quite daring for her though. So I agree with TLo.

  • smayper

    I need some definitional help. Kittens, at exactly what point does a crop top stop being a crop top and become a sports bra?

  • CKMia

    It’s odd, to be sure, but her skin though…

  • Pterodactyl111

    Those shoes are hideous.

  • ballerinawithagun

    Love the skirt! How did that combo make someone so thin look wide????

  • Shelby

    The shoes are a step too far.

  • Kaonashi

    I like the shoes but it’s overkill next to that skirt. And that top she’s wearing is too casual and makes me think of sports bras.

  • lilibetp

    I’m not sure it wouldn’t be better without that bottom section of that skirt. Especially with the shoes.

  • Sofia

    The skirt is horrendous but my gosh she’s so pretty and that skin tone is to die for!!

  • stubbornthoughts

    Holy body-bronzer, Batman!

    I wish that skirt wasn’t so long and heavy. Chop it upward and we have ourselves a better deal.

  • J. Preposterice

    why is everyone in the black crop tops lately?

  • Everything from the knee up is hot. Everything from the knee down is terrible.

  • GemFemme

    I’m actually really digging the skirt. The pattern and shape of it is really interesting. I’m not liking the black sports bra she paired with it and the shoes are an eyesore.
    Her pose seems odd too. Like she’s leaning way to far back up top. Looks wonky.

  • I LOVE This. I know it’s a bit over the top, but its mess makes sense and looks fabulous to me.

  • SistaT

    WRONG SHOES. Such a gorgeous skirt and those shoes confuse the whole thing. I actually thought the skirt was attached to her legs in some kind of strange way. Like it was one piece she stepped into. BAD.

  • demidaemon

    I had the exact same thoughts regarding Miss Alba when I found out she was in Sin City 2. “Holy shit, she’ll have something to actually promote!”

    As for this outfit, it offends my eyes.

  • Paula Pertile

    Those things. on her feet. I’m afraid.
    She looks pretty happy with herself though, so hey, you go girlfriend!

  • Sophie

    Love love love the skirt print and colour. Don’t much like the rest.

  • cat772

    I love it all! Everything! Especially the shoes!

  • Jacqueline Wessel

    This is kind of crazy, but I like it. I think I would like it better if the skirt were cut off right at the top of that big fishnet section. And, that top looks cheap to me, but I don’t mind the shape of it. Normally I would hate those shoes, but here I actually like them.

  • frannyprof

    The shoes are a skosh too much, but I love the skirt.

  • Startlingly horrible, but it did make me look.

  • Trickytrisha

    Definitely an “Attagirl.” Everything clicks, perfect for the venue. You know those Con dogs are panting.

    • Shawn EH

      She’s hot. Nobody will even see the shoes!

  • cocohall

    She has fallen into the trap of wearing a skirt designed for someone much taller that cannot be altered to fit her. On the model, the skirt hits closer to her calf on Jessica it’s dusting her ankles/hideous shoes. And the pattern/embellishments would make it hard to hem up. Why she thought adding those busy shoes would help is beyond me. The instinct to pair a simple fitted top with such a busy, voluminous skirt is good, but just not her yoga bra. There was potential here, but she steered this one into the ditch.

  • formerlyAnon

    I kind of like the skirt. In a “holy mary mother of god but that’s ballsy” way.

    The shoes are WAY too much adjacent to the skirt, and the lounging poolside top is a tad too little. But I’ll put it in the plus column.

  • Lampshade skirt and upholstery tassel shoes… no. If the skirt were cut off at the second solid band and the shoes were shaved and divested of the shisha mirrors, it might come together.

  • livesarah

    Another horrible Zimmerman garment. Got to admire their consistency. Everything from the neck down is terrible, but her hair and makeup are hot.

  • I shuddered when I got to her feet. It was good up to that point. But those shoes!

  • The shoes sort of blend in with the skirt so she looks like she’s wearing deranged harem-pant footie pajamas.

    Not a look I’d recommend.

    • tetisheri

      So glad I wasn’t the only one.

      The shoes or the skirt. Not both.

      • catsonmars28

        Neither! And the top is giving me flashbacks to Jada’s horrible sports bra.

        • tetisheri

          I like the skirt fairly well. I hate the shoes. And the two of them together makes Baby Jesus cry.

  • Don’t like the shoes, but everything else looks great.

  • Christine Hart

    I can’t even with the posture.

  • HeisenbergHattie

    Wonderful advertisement for spray-tanning. Calling to make an appointment today.

  • Jacob Bowen

    I am SO upset that I love that skirt…everything in my moral fiber is telling me to hate it but I JUST CAN’T!

  • Magda

    I like her makeup. There. I said something nice.

  • Michelle Gennari

    I like the skirt but I think the shoes complicate the whole outfit. With a skirt that busy I think a plainer shoes would have worked better.

  • MandyM

    Not bitchy at all. She looks like a train wreck which is OK for Comic Con, I guess. Then again, I’ve never been a fan, so I’ll rarely have something nice to say about her.

  • ShaoLinKitten

    Is there something about this seemingly boring outfit that requires that it be paired with crack-o-delic shoes?

  • queeniethebold

    The skirt is kind of sensational, i must say. But the shoes are bad. Really, really bad. Really. Bad.

  • Tom Markiewicz

    I actually love the overkill of style! It’s so much, but with the simple black on top, it works. I really think she should play with the exotic/almost middle eastern side of her looks more, rather than the upscale Americana thing she does most of the time.