Yea or Nay: Orlerbar Brown Swim Shorts

Posted on June 13, 2014

Orlerbar-Brown-Swim-Shorts-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Orlerbar Brown Swim Shorts

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[Photo Credit: Orlerbar Brown]

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  • @Biting Panda


    • Danielle

      Seconded. Nay for lack of bulge.

      • DaveUWSNYC

        Bulge is so important in making a proper assessment.

        • Anna

          How are we supposed to tell if they’re properly fitted or not and how much we want to take them off if there’s no bulge?

          • Raspberry2012

            BULGE!! NO MODELS, NO BULGE, NO LOVE!!! There is a distinct lack of sausage in this particular Sausage Friday post!

          • Anna

            “BULGE!! NO MODELS, NO BULGE, NO LOVE!!!” The Bitter Kitten battle cry!

            Also, someone get out the BK t-shirt printer cause that definitely needs to go on a shirt!

          • Raspberry2012

            I mean, it’s just a horrible tease! It reminds me of when I was in HS, summer of ’82 – Christopher Atkins was the naked male celeb in Playgirl that month. So my best friend Renee and I ran out to buy it. We get it back to her dad’s house, and I don’t know if you remember how badly Playgirl sucked when it came to the male celebs, but they were never actually “naked”. Sure, they were unclothed, but the sausage would always be conveniently hidden. So the huge teaser shot is of Chris standing in a swimming pool, the water just up to the “treasure trail”, and all the naughty bits were all blurred out because they were under the water. We actually sat there like a pair of idiots, tilting the magazine to see if from SOME angle, we could see his privates, you know – like the water was going to slosh off the page and reveal him to us in all his naked glory. That’s what these swim shorts are – that unfulfilling tease!

          • Anna

            Hahaha! I love your stories :).

            I’ve never actually, ahem “read” Playgirl but my first experience with ogling a male celeb in that manner was Antonio Sabato Jr. (God, remember him?) in I can’t even remember what ad or magazine it was now (I guess it doesn’t really matter). Also, with my best friend at the time and of course the frantic shuffling/hiding the magazine under the bed, along with the nervously, high-pitched, “Nothing, we’re FINE,” and trying to prevent my mom from coming in my room when she was checking on us/asking if we want any snacks.

          • Danielle

            Like when they teased that we would see full moose with Levi Johnston’s shoot. NOTHING. NOT EVEN A PUBE.

        • Lower L

          I clicked through to the website, which has models *who lack bulges*. I think that’s more tragic than the price for these swim trunks.

          • demidaemon

            Ouch. How does that even happen? Although, some underwear shoots accentuate the bulge so much it seems a little farcical and unbelievable.

        • Kent Roby

          The first pair would be perfect for a big bulge, since the entire graphic seems to be lauding its glory!

      • Glam Dixie

        And thighs, where are the thighs? What’s the point of the shorter legs on the trunks without thighs in them? Resounding nay.

    • demidaemon

      While I do agree with your critique, I still like these. 😉

  • sisterb67

    Nay on the photographs, Yea on the artwork.

    • Constant Reader


  • They are lovely photos/designs, but I wouldn’t ever wear them. It’s a NAY for me.

  • I suppose it gives people an excuse to ogle areas you normally shouldn’t be caught ogling?

  • Emily Dagger

    I like them. And it’s a nice excuse if you get caught staring — “sorry, the tropical scene on your ass just looks so familiar.” So yea.

    • AlisonS

      Especially the 2nd one. “Oh I was just seeing what color of swimsuit that woman is wearing.” *zooms right up to crotch.*

  • Mona_Visa

    Yea. “Um, I was looking at the artwork on your shorts. Yeah… That’s it…”

  • Sure, why not?

  • Mothra

    I would wear them. AND TWICE ON SUNDAY! Yay!

  • MilaXX

    Cute, YAY!

  • Ashleigh

    What the hell is the use of showing swim trunks (not you, the manufacturer) NOT being worn by hot bodies? hello? sex sells!

  • Ashleigh

    PS I love them. a lot

  • Artesian_Belle

    But why are there no thighs in the shorts?!

  • LeelaST

    Retro Cute!

  • zmayhem

    Sure, models would be great, but even so I dig them in a big way and I’d totally buy the vintage travel poster ones and the last pair for my husband in a hot second if I didn’t suspect that a single pair would set us back approximately a month’s rent.

  • YAY! Lots nicer than the usual generic stripes or color blocking that the guys generally wear. I wonder if the designs continue onto the posterior…..nice to think about a good view from both directions, LOL

  • lamamu

    I need to see them on James Marsden before I can make an informed yea or nay.

    • Bad Idea Jeans

      I think the 3rd pair would work especially well on him, too. Certainly much better than those 2 ft long board short thingies.

      • lamamu

        Agree. That right sail is MIGHTY suggestive…

  • cat772

    Yay on most, nay on the two pool photos. But I *would* like to see them on.

  • Eclectic Mayhem


  • BlairBear

    yay for male thighs being on display (I assume) nay for not displaying them on said thighs.

  • Imasewsure

    I’m going to go NAY also because these seem too busy. Would make great beach towels though

  • JauntyJohn

    Yea, especially since we seem to be getting back to a shorter trunk, rather than that basketball short length which makes almost everyone’s calves look smaller and is kind of silly for its level of modesty.
    Show me the gams, boys! (for starters!)

  • B_C_J

    Garments have to be worn to get a real feel. These look whimsical but until you put them on who knows what they really look like.

  • kategs

    yay! what fun.

  • Sarah

    I really like these. But not on my manimal. Slap those on Tom Selleck (in the 80’s) and we’re cooking with gas.

    • Nancer

      Totally! He would wear the heck outta these shorts!

    • jilly_d

      Yes to all of this.

    • marlie

      Heh, “manimal.” I love it.

    • demidaemon

      He’s still got it today, too. I don’t know how, but he does. He’s irrepressibly sexual as Jesse Stone and I don’t know why.

      • Sarah

        Heck yeah! He was one o my first serious crushes. He represents Grown Ass Man to me still

        • demidaemon

          I don’t know what it is about him. He can get everyone from Angela Landsbury (Mrs. Fletcher) to the young town lawyer in his arms. It’s quite a feat!

  • macwell

    I say ‘yay’ to all of them. They are appropriately retro, and call back to a certain era with their length and fit. Wish I had a pair.

  • ChristySchiff

    The cars and the speedboats are so fun!

  • Mrs. Julien

    LOVE, but a model would have been nice.

  • appliquer

    Really need to see what they look like on James Marsden.

  • Bill Curtis

    Love, love, love them. But I had a sad when I clicked through to shop for them. Beyond my limited budget.

    • uprightcitizen

      Did the same thing. I can’t imagine paying $345 for a pair of shorts or swim trunks, no matter how cool they are. Maybe they’ll be on the sale rack somewhere at the end of the summer.

      • Save me a pair if you find them…or maybe we could share a pair.

    • par3182

      Good lord, at those prices you wouldn’t want to get them wet.

  • Bill Craven

    Oh, to be twenty years younger and be able to pull these off (and on, and off, and on).

  • Dreamwr8tr

    Can’t decide. How do they look from the back? These look entirely too baggy for strategically placed design element on the crotch. The third one from the bottom is an elaborate joke about trimming.

  • Tanya Wade

    These are precious, and it would be so much fun to see the pools “bulge.” Add me to the chorus of “Why no models?”

  • FibonacciSequins

    Whimsy is appropriate for swimwear, so I say YEA. Cute stuff.

    • HomeOfficeGirl

      Right! I was thinking the same – perfect for swim trunks!

  • My husband has sexy legs, so it’s a big YAY! from me. I’d probably get a pair for myself, too. I am an active at the beach/skin like a peach type.

  • Deac82

    I’ll be placing my order for the sail boat and vintage cris craft print shorts this afternoon….seriously. I love these.

    • Deac82

      Make that only one pair….$400, yeesh.

  • Heather

    I went and google image searched them to see what they look like on a body. I give them a yea. I would have given them a much heartier YEA if they were just an inch or two shorter. I need more man thigh in my life.

  • Qitkat

    I love the idea but not the price. Hurryup and someone knock these off (if they can do it for Oscar gowns, why not these?)
    I think this idea would also make awesome ladyshorts.

    • charlotte

      My link didn’t get through, but I have similar ladyshorts. You can still find them on the Boden website, they are called Bistro Shorts.

      • Qitkat

        Thanks 🙂

  • luludexter

    yea – I love these!

  • ashtangajunkie

    Love these! They’re just so fun.

  • PinkyK

    I like them! The prints are beachy without being just floral/Hawiian. But then again I live in Florida so shorts like these are wardrobe staples….

  • Gatto Nero

    Yea. The appropriation (or imitation) of vintage images can go so very wrong, but these are great.

  • boweryboy

    Major YAY! Swimwear is a perfect choice for these fun prints. Menswear in general is either too stuffy or too craycray so these are refreshing. Sadly, as much as I want some, I won’t be buying any. Too expensive for me.

    • demidaemon

      What’s the price point?

    • demidaemon

      Nevermind. Explained below. 🙂

  • carnush


  • conniemd

    Yea, I like them but I’ll add a Boo for lack of models.

  • mjude


  • kfizz

    Yea! I dig em. Wish there were beautiful men in them for the photos, tho.

  • Edward Thomas-Herrera

    I’ll take one of each, please!

  • uprightcitizen

    Yay. I would love to have any of these, especially the Palm Springs swimming pool and the black and white sailing ones. Awesome. So happy that men’s shorts are getting shorter. I’m a tall, slim guy. Long shorts make me look scrawny, but showing some thigh is all it takes to put things back in proportion.

  • Cute prints! I’d love them as summer shorts for me! But for male swim? Nay.

  • Lily

    Wow! I really like that (swimming pool / palm tree / race car / pool umbrella) on your shorts there. Er… did I mention I like that swimming pool?

  • Lori

    I think I’d need to see them on an actual body in order to be able to vote. The prints are great, but I have some concerns about how some of the elements are going to look when they’re not laying flat on a table.

  • MW

    Yay, I love them.

  • MarissaLG

    YEA! These are awesome (but as other ladies have said, models would have helped!)

  • marlie

    The shorts are cute and fun in a retro way, but not in a million years would any of the men in my life would wear these.

  • i love the first pair where it looks like the women are all applauding while he unzips….anyways…..

  • Mod_girl

    The only real question is : How Would Bob Benson Look in These?

    • par3182

      Not Good, Bob.

  • dmkava

    Yea on the drawings, Nay on the photos

  • colorjunky

    I need to see them on before I can judge, but I like the concept.

  • Yea! Love.

  • Jacqueline Wessel

    I like the silhouette but not the prints. But it’s hard to tell without models. Where are the models???

  • WallyBe

    Yay here to the photograph ones, less so for the art ones. The photo ones remind me of Mary Katrantzou’s designs which I love, so I’d be happy to wear a male version! Alas, if only I had $350 or a …. patron to buy one for me.

  • Myra Amler

    Love the prints. Yea

  • KT

    Adorable! Definite yay.

  • sleepycat

    Shut up and take my money

  • Barbara Affolter

    I would wear the shit out of these with a bikini top, especially if it hit about mid-thigh.

    • Shelby

      Oh, I love your vision…

  • decormaven

    Love! Needed a male model to close the deal.

  • IMNAngryLiberal

    Can’t wait for the lower priced knock-offs to show up. These are major cute, but my significant other would divorce me if I spend $350 of ANYBODY’s money on swim shorts.

  • Shawn EH

    Yay, but only because the cut is even better and more flattering than the prints.

  • Yoshio

    Huge Yay!

  • Gorgeous. Definitely yay, on the right boy.

  • gitchygitchymama

    very yay……..just not $300 yay.

    • demidaemon

      Yea. No. Maybe $50, but even that’s pushing it, I think.

  • majorbedhead

    Oooh, I love these, and I echo the BK battle cry, because I’d love them even more if they were on a hot bod.

    Some of the prints remind me of Shag. This is a good thing.

  • somebody blonde

    Yay! I hope to see stuff like this on American beaches, though hoping is really all I can do- I sure don’t expect it.

  • kimmeister

    Rather meta, but totally YEA for me.

  • alyce1213

    Très amusant. I’ll wait for the knock-offs too and get a pair for my boy.

  • traceyishere

    Cute, I want them

  • kt mac


  • t bell

    Yea, they’re nice and colorful but I’m waiting for the return of bikini cut speedo types to be in fashion again.

  • Fun! IN. Wait, not in, but YEA

  • icm

    fun , but $350 for a pair of shorts, that is ridiculous . There will be knockoffs before you know it and seriously who would know the difference between the original and a knockoff at the beach.

  • Nicole

    So fun! Love!

  • swissgirl

    LOVE these. How much do they cost? I want at least four of the designs for my husband (who also loves them). So YAY.

  • ThaliaMenninger

    Perfect for Bob Benson!

  • megalomanic


  • theresaharnisch

    Yay – for the lack of elastic waistband, cool print, and length of leg. I like.

  • demidaemon

    Finally, I can unreservedly YEA something. Bout damn time.

  • Pretty awesome….lets see how they look on?

  • TwiddlyStun

    I like them, but let’s make them even shorter before we give them to James Marsden, shall we? We can take up a collection.

  • ankali

    Yea. Very Katrantzou-esque, which is always a plus in my book.

  • throwslikeagirl

    I absolutely love them! But, at $345 a pair, I’m gonna have to absolutely love them from afar.

  • livesarah

    I would wear these! Agree with the chagrined mood re lack of male models though 😉

  • Yes, yes, yes. And unlike just about everyone, I like—and perhaps prefer—seeing a garment on its own. The detailing is exquisite. The print imagery and placement opens up a world of semiotic double-entendres. These are bold and clever yet restrained and elegant. Yes, yes, yes.

  • Sherilyne Cox

    Lurve them with both of my eyeballs! Do think the surf themed shorts could have featured a classic woody, but still admire the wit and winking style. Yay.

  • venusvelvet

    Brings back my lifeguarding days. At these prices, I’d have to frame them on a wall. As swimsuits, they come up too high, judging from google images. I like the waistline at the hip.

  • jif


  • I LOVE THESE!!! Very fun for the guys.

  • No. These are possibly worse than the pants that say ‘juicy’ across the ass.


  • Yea! I’d even wear them–with a string bikini top.

  • Columbinia

    When I was about 7 or 8 I had a short little nightgown (with matching panties) with a scene printed on it, much like these swim trunks. Cute idea for kids clothes, probably not a good idea for an adult male who is not looking for, er, financial support in some form. I just talked myself into a NAY.

  • crash1212

    YAY! Yea!

  • ItAin’tMe

    Yea! I’m shocked you have to ask!

  • Danielle West

    So fun! Yea.

  • Clash D

    Love them.

  • theblondette

    How can anyone nay these? They are delightful.

  • amanda lynn

    Yea. The artwork is very fun. I wish I could see them on a model, not so much for ogling, but to see how it lays on a body. If that makes sense.

  • Valdri8

    Oh I want a pair of these so damn bad, but at 345.00/pair, I can send a lot of dog food to the shelter.

  • P M

    Well, it gives you a legitimate excuse to look at someone’s happy place, so yea 😀