• L the Phenom

    This looks an awful lot like what happens when middle-school girls break a bone and opt to bedazzle their casts/braces. Not so couture…

    • TonyGo

      The last two look like Christy Masters snuck up on Michelle Weinberger again.

  • RussellH88

    They look like leg braces in shoe form.

    • H2olovngrl

      Medieval torture devices in shoe form.

  • Hrfe

    I’m kind of in love with the “unadorned” shoes. I think I like tricky shoes more than I should. I can’t really see these in an outfit though… maybe a cool editorial? The jewels just seem so tacked on…

  • TonyGo

    Slave to Fashion…we get it.

  • marlie

    Nay. A big, fat NAY. Who wants LITERAL torture devices on their feet?

    • random_poster

      I’d like to think that’s supposed to be the joke, but I have a hard time giving a designer credit for that.

    • evave2

      I think they look like dominatrix shoes. Show me RESPECT.

    • RidgewayGirl

      At least the designer is being honest.

  • Cyprienne Zed

    Pfft, nope.

  • TheLaurenJean

    Did they have extra back braces left over from incidents caused by their other shoes that they needed to use up?

  • Sarah

    Oh, yeah. Like neck brace halos for your feet. Seeeexy.

    ETA: Now that I look further, I’m specifically offended by the fact that on top of all that orthopaedic gimcrackery, there’s clear stuff. Argh.

    • Lower L

      Liked for “orthopaedic gimcrackery.”

    • Chickadeep

      This collection is missing the “Orthodontist” model, with headgear-like straps and pointy little wires sticking out all over the place, and which can be progressively adjusted for maximum pain.

      • Ginmaru

        Don’t forget the rubber bands! Which shoot off in all directions as you are trying to put them on at 6:30 in the morning before class….don’t ask me how I know this……!

    • formerlyAnon

      SARAH! Soulmate! I commented before reading and used both the words “gimcrackery” and “orthopedic” in my comment. (Though your turn of phrase is superior.)

      • Sarah

        Heheheheeee. Delightful. I love sharing your brain :)

  • sisterb67

    I look at these, I look at the Viktor & Rolf post from a few days ago, and I all hear is the sound of laughter of thousands of podiatrists and foot/ankle surgeons (and the sound of their bank accounts going “ching ching ching!”).

    • MoHub

      Absolutely! I’m convinced every one of those crazy shoe designers is getting huge kickbacks from podiatrists.

    • http://redheadedwolf.wordpress.com/ Laura Renee

      Who would have guessed that fashion shoe designers and the podiatrists were in cahoots together…

  • empath

    At least they are finally honest about creating footwear as reinventions of medieval torture devices.
    Only for fashion victims who knowinngly or unknowingly have past-life torture issues.

  • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

    Torture chic. No.

  • Anna

    The Red Room of Pain x DSquared2!

    Like Angelina wore those Louboutins for Maleficent, I feel like Dakota Johnson will be wearing each one when she promotes that little S&M movie of hers.

    • marlie

      Oh, CRAP. I hope not.

      • Anna

        Sadly, I can see this teamed with Marchesa for the European portion of the poledance when her film turns out to be the laughingstock as predicted in North America.

        • marlie

          You’re absolutely right. But I’m already cringing in advance.

          • Anna

            Me too! But then again, lots of fun and snark to be had for the BKs when it comes true!

    • Ginmaru

      Next season’s models will have tiny little cat o’ nine tails hanging from the ankle straps.

      • Anna

        Yup. And the locks will have special C.G. + A.S. monograms.

        • demidaemon

          Please no. I don’t think I could stomach it.

          • Anna

            I know, I should really learn to perish these thoughts. Damn over-active imagination! Plus, now I’m worried that potential stylists of Dakota may be reading and take this seriously.

          • demidaemon

            You should. You definitely should. At least we know who to blame should it happen. ;)

  • MoHub

    Sandal? Really? No way I’d apply that term to those.

  • Raspberry2012

    They not only look painful (I gave up heels years ago), but they look like they’re designed with pain in mind, if that makes any sense. It’s as if they’re decorated to say, “Hey! I’m gonna hurt ya!”

    • 3boysful

      They make me claustrophobic, like I couldn’t just kick off my shoes when I wanted. And what if you lose the key? Nay.

  • MW

    If the front wasn’t plastic I’d give it some thought. Like this it’s a no-brainer: NAY.

    • Fanny_Trollope

      Now, now. The plastic sweatiness is all part of the torture. Suffer, victims.

  • somebody blonde

    NAY. I actually wouldn’t mind these for girls with more hardcore style, except for that clear plastic! If they’d just put some material there instead, I’d wear the purple ones with all the bling.

  • MarissaLG

    NAY. Way too literal.

  • http://youravon.com/mmangibin cap1764

    They look like fancy OB/GYN stir-ups.

    • smayper

      Shudder.

    • Amelia

      Well, that takes the ankle locks to a whole new level of disturbing…

  • http://www.twitter.com/allforusophia AllForUSophia

    ΥΕΑ!! Oh so YEA!

  • Introspective

    just no. not cute. no references to torture, slavery, or injury on my feet for the same price as my student loan payments, thanks.

  • crash1212

    NAY! Raising the level of shoes as torture devices to DefCon5. And we’re going to be locking our shoes to our ankles now? For f**k’s sake.

  • Capt. Renault

    Having spent my share of time in a leg brace — screw you, Dsquared. Your joke isn’t funny.

  • hughman

    To the shoes’ credit, the whole theme of their fashion show that season was “Psych Ward” so there’s some reference.

    And I give them credit for taking something we all know on a visceral level – that walking in shoes like this tortures your feet – and translates it to a shocking visual. Usually fashion tends to gloss over the detrimental effects of its products whereas here it’s kind of brutally declared.

    • JauntyJohn

      Yes. It’s a little bit like bedazzling the tub they use for water boarding.

    • http://redheadedwolf.wordpress.com/ Laura Renee

      And that would be awesome for an art show, but these have price tags attached. We’ll see some poor starlet strapped into them on a runway, hopefully for no more than an hour or two.

      • Sarah

        They are lying in wait for the feet of J Lo.

        • Leah Elzinga

          Kardashian. Probably more than one of them.

          • Sarah

            Oh, yeah. So right.

  • MilaXX

    NOOOOOOPE! I find it low key offensive that a woman’s shoe literally looks like a bedazzled pair of shackles. Find me when they put this mess on men’s shoes.

    • Ginmaru

      Kind of like my feelings about underwire bras. I’ll wear one when they make underwire jockstraps.

      • MilaXX

        As a well endowed female I can assure you that a properly fitted underwire can be your best friend. Get measured and try them on. Preferably not at Victoria’s Secret.

        • Ginmaru

          I would love, love, love to be properly measured and one day will make it to a major city to do so. I just can’t see that one little itty bitty wire doing anything other than poking me as usual in the ribs, in the side, under the arm and anywhere else. But as a card carrying member of the BKFSLS (Bitter Kittens Flat Shoe Lovers Society), I will take your advice and give it another try.

          • SierraDelta

            If it’s properly fitted, you won’t be poked. I thought I was a 34DD but it turns out I’m a 32F. My new (underwire) bras cost roughly what the monthly mortgage payments on our first house did in 1977, but my clothes fit better, and I honestly don’t feel like I’m wearing anything even remotely constricting. Agree with MilaXX about a store other than V’s S.

          • MemHey

            Try Boux Avenue. They’re essentially VS in the UK, but they carry such outlandish sizes as (gasp!) 30E (moi), and considering the exchange rate, they’re much more conservatively priced than specialty lingerie shops. Not sure if they ship to the US but they seem open to it – and if not, perhaps a British BK might be willing to help a sister out. :-)

          • SierraDelta

            Sisterhood of the Traveling Underwire? ;-)

          • FrigidDiva

            I used to work at Lane Bryant and part of my job was fitting ladies for bras for the Cacique collection. You can actually size yourself at home. Just take a tape measure and measure the under side of your bust, where you band would traditionally sit, this is where you get the size 38, 40, etc. If you measure at say 31 inches, go up to the next closest inch for your band size. To get your cup size measure across the fullest part of your bust, then subtact the band size from your bust measurement. The difference between the two correlates to your cup size. So if your band size was 32 and your bust measurement was 33 the difference between the two would be one. One inch would be an A cup, 2-inches would be a B cup and so on. That being said this measurement gives you a starting piont when trying on bras. You may wear different sizes in different styles, but at least it gives you an idea of where you should be size wise.

  • FibonacciSequins

    Hospital chic.

    NAY

  • schadenfreudelicious

    was David Cronenberg a consultant?…

    • smayper

      Dead Ringers! Creepiest movie ever.

      • schadenfreudelicious

        Totally, i also thought of Crash, with all the braces, casts, etc, these would have been perfect for that film!

        • smayper

          I just noticed that the heels have horrible little vertebrae. Now there’s a whole Friday Kahlo post-accident horribleness on top of the rest of the horror.

  • YoungSally

    Note to Bey, Minaj, et al: Bejeweled orthopedic implants – the next time you fall off your platforms.

  • elleg929

    They look like mental hospital restraints. Nay.

  • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

    Haven’t we already done these? They look very, very familiar.

    • Ginmaru

      Didn’t Tom Ford do locks on ankle straps? On a much, much prettier pump?

    • Alyssa

      I recalled similar ones with the screws/hardware as well…the ones I was thinking of were the Miu Miu fall 2014 shoes. They didn’t have the mental patient cuff restraints though.

      • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

        I must’ve been thinking of a mashup of the Tom Fore & Miu Miu.

    • kimmeister

      It reminds me of the Tom Ford leg brace boots from a while back. Anne H wore them during her “Les Miserables” pole dance.

  • Mayrozez

    Rise up, my sisters, and throw off your slave shoes! We are long overdue.

  • mjude

    no effing NAY!

  • Dreamwr8tr

    Severely editorial shoes for severely orthopedic bondage shoots. The ones with jewels on them look like afterthoughts. Pairs well with the latest in lingerie: chastity belt bloomers & steampunk corsets. But for the average woman with a couple grand to spend on shoes: NAY.

    ETA: It feels very Helmut Newton.

    • FrigidDiva

      The first thing I thought of was how Terry Richardson was probably salivating at the terrible photo shoots he could use these in.

  • rissa42210

    This again. No.

  • decormaven

    I’ll just save a few $$$ and screw some bolts directly into my feet. This isn’t footwear.

    • Kristi Mitchell

      That’s the fall 2015 collection….

  • Mothra

    You can put all the jewels you want, but those shoes will look like something out of a death row prison cell.

  • Chickadeep

    Let’s see…these are both uncomfortable AND orthopedic looking. These are like bedazzled versions of the leg braces my uncle had to wear because he had Polio as a kid. F**k no.

  • Meg

    Ew. Nay.

  • BlairBear

    Derivative, tortured, overworked, and ugly so nay

  • annla

    Nay, nay, nay. When I’m out shopping with my teen daughters it has been brought up more than once: we will look back on shoes of this era the same way we are appalled by the big shoulder pads of the 80s. So many shoes are over-embellished and stupidly high. Ugly.

    • Chickadeep

      THIS.

  • Heather

    heels get sent to the locked ward?

  • boweryboy

    Hell to the NAY! They look like stylized orthopedic leg braces for people with disabilities combined with mental patient restraints (padlocks included).

    If all of the hardware was removed they could be lovely understated shoes – plastic and all.

  • PinkyK

    There is way too much extra junk on them; the jewels on the heel, the ankle strap, that dangling lock…TOO MUCH! I’m also not a fan of the clear plastic; it’s very elderly retiree trying to be sexy in a Florida retirement community a la Del Boca Vista.

  • Danielle

    bejeweled bondage.

  • clevRcat

    Nay. Rather ugly.

  • amanda lynn

    They cause unrest in me.

    And they look dangerous.

  • Judy_J

    Nope.

  • empath

    Why do designers hate women and their feet?

    • Hermione

      Exactly. To me, these shoes say “we hate women.”

  • Lori

    Nay. That is one weird combo of medical device & household repair. Certainly nothing that needed to be repeated on every shoe in the collection. Throwing 60s costume jewelry on it doesn’t make it better and I have no idea why they thought it did. Also, stuff would catch on those shoes all the time, which would be either ugly & messy or actually dangerous. Not a good quality in a shoe.

  • frannyprof

    Nay

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1234087433 Jen Freeman

    They don’t look orthopedic to me so much as the hot new thing in BDSM wear.

  • another_laura

    It looks like a mockery of orthopedics and old-fashioned artificial limbs, etc., which is tacky. Big Fat Nay.

  • kimmeister

    NAY, because:
    1) there shouldn’t be a sandal collection for fall (and next, a boot collection for summer?)
    2) the jeweled bits look like creepy crawly insects
    3) I universally don’t like ankle cuffs on shoes
    4) all the other reasons the BKs have mentioned

  • Eclectic Mayhem

    Nope.

  • Jacqueline Wessel

    No, not even good for kickin’ ass.

  • LadyCelia

    Perfect shoes for the fashionista fetishist!

  • Nancer

    Huh. These are… interesting. Not beautiful, perhaps over-designed, but the use of different materials, and the play of architectural elements and jewelry-like elements on the scaffolding of the shoe is interesting. Not sure what to wear these with, but as art objects, I approve.

  • Shalhevet

    NAY. Too overwrought. Too literal interpretation of “hardware.” Too much lucite. There’s a “bdsn stripper mixed with refined socialite” weirdness. And imagine them on a foot – squished, sweaty foot visible through the clear upper. Urgh.

  • BLauD

    Oh for the love! Nay.

  • Kitten Mittons

    These are the Aluminum Monster’s shoes, and no one else’s. Period.

    • Anna

      Now all I can think of is that Freedom 90 dance routine at the high school reunion.

      • Kitten Mittons

        One of my favorite scenes of all time, forever and ever, Amen.

        • Sarah

          Hells yeah.

        • Anna

          Propel me back into the mid-’90s when Dennis Reynolds was a Golden God.

          • Kitten Mittons

            And when Ronald McDonald was a rat.

          • Anna

            I watched it last night! Oh God, I LIVE for the transition between what the gang imagines they looked like to what actually happened with them all gross, sweaty, and Mac screaming.

          • Kitten Mittons

            That moment is pure gold. And then Danny Devito throws up :)

  • Myra Amler

    Those look like torture chambers for your feet. Nay.

  • colleenjanel

    Stilettos with scoliosis?

  • Sean Keith

    LOVE!

  • Columbinia

    NAY. All this shoe says to me is fetish and paraphilia in a painful way. No likey.

  • Gatto Nero

    Project Runway hardware challenge.
    The more embellished, the worse these get.

  • DKBB

    They look like someone raided their father’s toolbox and their mother’s jewelry box…..

  • lalahartma

    Nay.

  • KayEmWhy

    Nay

  • conniemd

    Oh great, more shoes with whacko heels. That’s a nay.

  • Donna Tabor

    Shoes in cages. And shoes in gilded cages.

    Ho-hum.

  • ashtangajunkie

    Interesting as art, but a big NAY as actual footwear.

  • http://twitter.com/janedonuts Jane Donuts

    Coming soon to Rihanna’s feet.

  • Aurumgirl

    David Cronenberg’s Crash, except in shoe form.

  • jilly_d

    It’s…..a bit much.

  • lynnlee

    I think they’re scary.

  • Gloriana Reginata

    I’d like these so much more if they used the same coloured leather instead of that silly plastic see-through top. I still couldn’t wear them, but I’d like them.

  • altalinda

    no to the no.

  • http://www.ellenciompi.com/ NurseEllen

    Bondage references jacked up with paste gems are still bondage references. Uck. NAY.
    PS: I can’t remember the last time I voted “YEA” on one of these shoe polls. What is up with designers, anyway?

  • Kristi Puckett Carrillo

    Creepy.

  • Man Dala

    NAY. They are orthopaedic shoes covered in rhinestones.

  • smayper

    It’s time to stop with the industrial machine shoes. Adding jewelry does NOTHING to help.

  • nomnom

    Once a dentist’s tool set met a lovely shoe and they had some forbidden sex.

    These baby shoes were born of that star-crossed love.

  • formerlyAnon

    Oh HELLS to the NAY. So much pointless gimcrackery just waiting to catch on stuff. So old school orthopedic device.

    • Jeanettesca

      Gimcrackery is going to be my new favorite word for at least a week.

  • Deedles

    They remind me of some of the exhibits in the Museo della Tortura in San Gimignano, Italy.

  • http://weirdinedgewise.blogspot.com ONEWEIRDWORD

    Horrifically NAY

  • SuzyQuzey

    Torture chambers passed off as shoes. NAY.

  • LeelaST

    NAY. If the plastic vamp doesn’t kill you the metal projectile will.

  • Zeee

    These are crazy. I think I love them.

  • quiltrx

    Did we already see these? Or maybe it was another designer or another season?
    Anyway, they look like historical psychiatric hospital restraints. And whether I see that or some sort of orthopedic device, they’re ugly and borderline offensive. And I’m very hard to offend.

    • Shelby

      I was thinking the same thing. It’s the first time, that I recall anyway, that I’ve been actually disturbed by a shoe line. But these made me uncomfortable.

  • http://www.lippsisters.com/ Deborah Lipp

    So, they’ve stopped PRETENDING that shoes aren’t torture devices.

  • traceyishere

    I want to see someone wear these so I can laugh at them.

  • DesertDweller79

    No. On many levels. But, as someone who lives in a blisteringly hot desert I automatically reject any sandals which have metal bits which could potentially touch my skin. Heat + metal + skin = automatic no.

  • demidaemon

    WTF. NAY. I’m scared to even think what the symbolism of putting a lock on one’s feet means. NO NO NO NO NO.

  • icm

    Its like a mashup of grandmas jewellery box and grandpas toolbox.

  • http://armchairauthor.wordpress.com/ LesYeuxHiboux

    Shoes for Hannibal Lecter’s girlfriend? A new trap in the Saw franchise? Tim Taylor’s footwear line? Certainly nothing I’d want to wear.

    • Kristi Mitchell

      Dang! You beat me to the Hannibal Lector reference :)

  • Yoshio

    I can see hear the emergency room conversation now…so a big NAY to these visual obscenities masquerading as footwear.

  • KT

    Hideous torture devices. NAY! There’s a reason their Melrose Ave store got shut the hell down…

  • Bad Idea Jeans

    For the love of Benji, NAY!

  • Kristi Mitchell

    A fashion blogger once tried to judge me. I ate his liver with some Fava beans and a nice chianti.

  • Melmmmendes

    Nope nope noppity noooope.

  • GinaGeo

    That last one looks like a jeweled Alien Xenomorph latched onto a shoe made up of leftover bits from a geometry class. Drafting compass pencil, anyone?

  • TigerLaverada

    Good god no.

    Suggest the designers be forced to tool around in these for a day or two. That’ll cure ‘em.

  • SierraDelta

    Dear God, please let Courtney Stodden wear these to an airport, and please let there be film of the TSA agents at the security checkpoints reacting to them. Amen.

    P.S. Please don’t let me be the one behind her in line. Amen again.

  • smh4748

    These are just terrible, but I really want to see someone wear them (it will probably be Rihanna.)

    • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

      … or Katy Perry

  • GoAwayKardash

    Hell to the nay.

  • Trickytrisha

    Ludicrous.

  • anotherkate

    It looks like Tiny Tim grew up to be a shoe designer and couldn’t get over the imagery of his Victorian leg brace. Which is to say, ew.

  • luludexter

    Out, out damn shoe! Out I say!

  • unbornfawn

    Hell no.

  • lilazander

    YEA! Why not wear foot-straitjacket?

  • Kathy

    Where are the bedazzled ankle monitors?

  • 2dogmom

    Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Looks like Tinker-Toys made into foot torture devices.

  • FrigidDiva

    I think these are fantastic from an editorial standpoint, but as far as actual shoes, they get a NAY. I did do a little research on them and apparently someone actually wore them to a Met Gala after party. It wasn’t any celebrity I was familiar with, which makes it all the more crazy that they’d be wearing them.

  • kfizz

    Awful.

  • FifiDubois

    They look like something that would be used to strap your feet to the Electric Chair. A very fashionable one, but an Electric Chair nonetheless.

  • fursa_saida

    is this a joke

    (honestly, i don’t mind the sort of “look at all my construction materials” stuff in the back on the first couple, pre-jewels, but not for a sandal. no. and PLASTIC UPPERS, this is a nightmare.)

  • KS

    Hannibal Lector chic for your feet.

  • macwell

    They’re all hot, but are meant for a woman with edge.

  • jml27

    Medical device shoes.

  • colorjunky

    These are sinister looking.

  • Miss wks

    Love em. The real S/M, however, are those added jewels.

  • jjfg

    Baahahahahahaha! Seriously? OK, yea because – yea.

  • http://reneshiro.tumblr.com/ kingderella

    I like my fashion kinky, so yay to the first three. The ones with the jewels just really don’t work at all.

  • ThaliaMenninger

    Hell to the no.

  • judybrowni

    Bettie Page 50 years later.

  • Fuchsiaforever

    OH Puhleaze! HELL NAY!

  • Fuchsiaforever

    This is SO stupid I can’t believe people get paid for designing this piece of caca UGH…

  • Sweetvegan

    Reminds me of a Vogue feature, circa 1995, when Nadia Auermann (sp?) posed in 6-inch heels and leg braces and (in a different photo) in a wheelchair. They got a very critical letter that they printed, for trivializing real medical issues.

  • ktr33

    The top 3 are actually quite cool as OBJECTS. As shoes.. definitely not with the clear plastic at the toe. That takes it from edgy-kinky to chintzy-kinky.

  • Mr. J.

    Not sure I’m understanding the locks….if you fall over in them you won’t be able to get them off, so they’ll have to amputate your foot? Is that the idea? Tres chic.

  • NeteH

    If they put me in this to make me confess I am a witch after all, I’ll break within five minutes.

  • Clash D

    Theme: “Heels are Torture”. Sounds about right.

  • bluefish

    I would display these on a mantel — at least the ones without the jewels. A pair would make for great bookends

  • Mary Stone

    What happens when the cute little chain holding the key breaks off while you’re actually wearing these, and you don’t notice that the key and the chain are now long gone, until you get home? I guess if you can afford a pair of these, you don’t much care about cutting the top strap if that should happen….

  • Sara Brams-Miller

    That just looks like pain to me. . .