Jessica Biel in Giambattista Valli Couture at Tiffany & Co Flagship Opening

Posted on June 11, 2014

Jessica-Biel-Giambattista-Valli-Couture-Tiffany-Co-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Jessica-Biel-Giambattista-Valli-Couture-Tiffany-Co-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)Jessica Biel attends the Tiffany & Co Flagship Opening on the Champs Elysee in Paris, France in a Giambattista Valli strapless embroidered dress from the Spring 2013 couture collection paired with a Fendi clutch and Tiffany & Co. jewelry.




[Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews,, CHP/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES]

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  • RussellH88

    It’s fine, very simpZzzzz…..

    • Kent Roby

      Ha, I was going to respond the same way! This is the cure for insomnia.

    • YoungSally

      Could only be more zzzz if it were on Maggie G….or Blakezzzzzz

    • Vtg Fashion Library

      She really Anistoned this one.

  • @Biting Panda

    It’s the Oatbieliest thing she’s ever worn. And that is saying something.

    • Sarah

      It is actually oatmeal COLORED, even. Sheesh.

      • marlie

        The dress, the shoes, the clutch, her makeup (including the lipstick), even her mani… it’s all so BLAH.

        • lunchcoma

          Even the necklace is blah. I might wish stars (and whatever Biel is) would wear them, but a simple strand of sparkly with a strapless dress seems is more high school graduation than high fashion.

        • kimmeister

          Maybe she was bizarrely trying to make her under eye liner stand out?

        • Elle E Dee

          Just once I want her to wear a non-nude shade of lipstick. Just once.

      • demidaemon

        I thought it was a really, really pale shade of green. If that’s what your oatmeal looks at, it might be time to throw it out. 😉

    • decormaven

      All hail the non power of the OatBiel.

  • NBG

    Cure for insomnia.

  • Sobaika

    Bland as Oatbiel can get.

  • Jennifer Bober

    What a shame. This could have been spectacular in a strong color. Better stop looking at it or I’ll zonk out.

  • emilyaGoGo

    Dress is nice. Could’ve been far improved with some kicky accessories and shoes, tho…. (As is, completely Oatbiel).

  • lunchcoma

    How can someone whose job consists solely of dressing up and going to openings have so little personal style?

    • NMMagpie

      That question perfectly sums up the celebrity vacuum. Well done!

    • demidaemon

      I think the answer is explicitly stated in the question.

  • ballerinawithagun

    Fabric is beautiful.

    • Jan Crews

      I agree. Is that embroidered linen?

  • sienna elm


  • Mona_Visa

    The shoe sadness goes to 11. How do you erase yourself more than this?

  • KinoEye

    She couldn’t have washed her hair for a Tiffany’s flagship opening? Also, someone needs to help her work through her debilitating fear of color.

    • Anna

      Lol, this just occurred to me: maybe this is Justin’s favourite colour?

      • demidaemon

        Except he seems to have a lot more style. Maybe he is a style vampire?

  • marlie

    Thursday afternoon wedding. I would actually love this – especially if it were floor length – on someone else. As-is, the shape of the skirt is a little too wide, and the wearer is WAY too boring.

  • quiltrx

    It’s actually a very pretty design, but the OatBiel color just fades it into nothingness and takes what should have been eye-catching embellishments to nearly invisible.
    And the styling is just damned depressing.

    • marlie

      For real. Tiffany & Co. couldn’t have loaned her jewelry with more “oomph” than this?

      • mjude

        I so agree about the jewelry. is she just so drab that color is to much for her?

        • GeoDiva

          I never thought it was possible to make Tiffany diamonds look like glass, but she does!

  • Krumhorn

    Oh, please! She looks spectacular! I’d do her right now.

    • LesYeuxHiboux

      A statement that probably has very little to do with her choice of ensemble.

    • MishaFoomin

      Justin, is that you?

    • Kristin

      “I feel like I can’t escape from boners and their stupid bonepinions. In my class. On my commute. Being merrily stroked in my general direction on the corner outside The Green Mill. And in every. freaking. internet discussion, there they are. Fucking boners. Women can be discussing literally any topic, and dudes will come interrupt to tell us how it makes boners feel. Sometimes they want to reassure us, like, when we talk about being fat as a feminist issue, or the constrictions of conventional beauty standards, they chime into say “But I like bigger girls.” Well thanks, Internet Stranger-boner! That totally makes up for every bad thing women have ever experienced at the hands of the patriarchy, which definitely for sure does not include you. Other times women will be talking about particle physics or literature or their very responsible jobs, like, running the world and stuff, and the boners feel left out and confused, so they just say completely inane stuff. As if “I would/would not do her” is the one true standard on earth.

      -Captain Awkward, Notes from a Boner

      • demidaemon

        BWAHAHAHA! Perfect response.

  • JauntyJohn

    Yes dear, you married someone famous. We get it.

  • Lilah

    What’s going on with her eyeliner? Looks like they forgot to taper it gradually as they got to the inner corner. Not a good look.

    • MilaXX

      in some shots I like it but in others it’s looks weird.

      • Lilah

        Yup. Straight on it looks a little funky.

  • LesYeuxHiboux

    Is she chaperoning the Winter Ball? Did she let her students do her makeup? Does she know that aqua is really Not Her Color?

    • sugarkane105

      She’d have to actually try on a color in order to find out which ones were Not Hers. The horror.

  • Anna

    It’s like her reverse-superpower is mediocrity. Just HOW does she consistently do this to couture? And teamed with pumps for the Payless dye-to-match section, someone please either help her or arrest her because this should really be illegal.

  • Shelby

    I think the dress is pretty, but I’m not sure why I’m walking away feeling blah about this. Maybe her hair could have used some oomph?

    • marlie

      Unfortunately, it’s the power of the OatBiel. Put this exact same dress on Lupita, or even on Diane Kruger (and I’m not even a super fan of hers), and it would automatically come to life, just by virtue of their inherent personality and charisma. Also, color SOMEWHERE would have helped, too.

      • Shelby

        Oh so goddamn true.

    • Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

      Everything about her ALWAYS leaves me feeling blah. She must have some personality (I tell myself) if Justin Timberlake found her interesting enough to marry. I mean, he’s entertaining, at least.

      Honestly, I can’t even remember any movies she’s been in. Or was she on TV?

      • marlie

        She was on 7th Heaven, until she got booted (I think). She’s been in movies here and there, but nothing that stands out to me.

        • demidaemon

          I think the fact that she was on 7th Heaven AND has pretty much solely been in basic rom-coms just exemplifies her blandness.

          • missmagpie

            She played opposite Colin Firth and Kristina Scott Thomas in Easy Virtue. I only know her from the film where she plays a beautiful, sassy racing car driver so seeing her appearances in real life have been really disappointing. She has a great wardrobe in the film and plays the character with loads of pizzaz and fun.

          • demidaemon

            That’s surprising. The more I see and know about her makes it sound like a fluke.

          • missmagpie

            I know! It’s curious, because if she is as bland as she can seem she have channelled a lot of acting chops to play that character successfully. She sang several of the tracks for the film and had a good voice too. If you google Easy Virtue I think she looks infinitely better in character than anything I have seen since. The film itself was pretty fun too – didn’t take itself too seriously but had a good cast – great to watch Colin Firth and Kristina Scott Thomas playing antagonistic husband and wife.

      • conniemd

        My daughter loved her in “Stealth.” Actually I find her marrying Justin Timberlake to be totally “of course” since to me he’s a whitebread pop singer.

  • sugarkane105

    The Ghost of Romantic Comedies Past.

    • DuBey2


  • MilaXX

    Her face actually looks quite pretty, but she continues to be the most bland person on the planet. Seriously, she’s like walking ambien.

  • Ashleigh

    better than the model – certainly does not draw attention from the jewelry!

  • ashtangajunkie

    Everything she puts on turns into day-old porridge.

  • Hysterectomypants

    The pointy-toed prom shoes are killing me. I like the look so much more on the model, mostly because there’s something interesting going on with the feet. And I wish she had done some sort of sleek updo, rather than sleek roots and DIY loose hair.

  • Introspective

    is it insane that i saw her and instantly sang “BEIGE BEIGE BEIGE BEIGE” to the tune of Rihanna’s “Birthday Cake” song (which is one of those monstrosities that will never leave your head once you think of it)

    girl stop.

  • KateShouldBeWorking

    What was Barbie’s boring friend’s name again?

    • sugarkane105

      Skipper? Stacy? Midge?
      I’m not sure which one was the boring one, but I found an actual Wikipedia page that lists all of Barbie’s friends and family, and HOLY SHIT does that girl have a lot of friends.

      • KateShouldBeWorking

        So none of them are Jessica?

        • sugarkane105

          Until now :)

  • MinAgain

    Too bridal.

  • MarissaLG

    It’s a pretty, preppy dress which is actually great for Tiffany’s but the Oatbeil is just soooo oatmealy.

  • Thomas

    I see Oatbiel got married.

  • smh4748

    It’s sort of bridal, which in a way is quite appropriate for the event.

    Her hair though! That’s unwisely-scheduled-8am-freshman-English-college-student hair. You have the resources to do better, Biel!

  • thecitysleeps

    I was oogling the jewellery so hard and then I realised it’s a Tiffany & Co event. Sigh. I like the dress, but not in that colour and with those shoes.

  • Catherine

    If only she had not gone with the Perpetual Center Part, that would have improved this look.

    Alas, Jessica Beige strikes again.

  • Jacqueline Wessel

    Certainly this event deserved bolder makeup and better hair. You’re wearing diamonds at a Tiffany event, step it up, girl.

  • Danielle

    It’s like someone hit the snooze button in my brain.

  • Wink

    Slight improvement because at least she musters a smile and looks happy here… well, sorta. (She usually looks like someone just tinkled in her Corn Flakes!)

    • Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

      Smiling causes wrinkles and draws attention away from her arms. Smiling is only allowed twice a year on Christmas and birthdays.

      • Wink

        Excellent points!

  • gloriana232

    Low-key bride.

  • Constant Reader

    Why heavy eyeliner under the eyes and none on top? Why? It makes her look like she woke up with a 4-alarm hangover, and the flat, greasy-looking hair isn’t helping.

    And that is all I can work up an opinion about. The rest is fine but, as others have pointed out, a snoozefest.

    • lrober03

      And maybe it could be blended better…and not just stop abruptly in the middle of the eye

      • Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

        And maybe fill in the brows a little?

  • GillianHolroyd

    At least the bangs are gone.

    Orange stilettos is what this needs, and brighter lipstick and a crazy fun purse.

  • Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

    Does she have a cone head, or is this hairstyle/angle/flash shadow just giving that appearance? I’m going to have to do some research.

  • NurseEllen

    Oh Tiffany? When you’re tired of Ms. Blandish being the face of your brand, I’m available. I love color, I clean up well, I can take a good photo and I look FAB in diamonds, especially yours. That particular shade of Tiffany Blue is PERFECT for me. You know how to find me. Love, Nurse Ellen

  • SierraDelta

    Penis head hair.

  • cat772

    I dunno, this might be the first time I’ve looked at her and not been bugged as hell. She looks pretty and natural, and the dress is nice…yeah, okay, it’s kind of boring.

  • Inês Martins

    Whats wrong with her hair?

  • Alyssa

    Seriously…a little color won’t kill you!

  • Gatto Nero

    Completely unremarkable, except for the diamonds.

  • Bert Keeter

    Understated…but a shot of color in makeup or a stronger shoe?

  • Imasewsure

    Perfect dress for a fancy second wedding… would have been perfect for this Tiffany event too if she had done something with the shoes and boring ass bag too.. also Gurl get them to give you some more diamonds for that look!!

  • Deborah Lipp

    Has she been in a movie in the past 2 years or does she just wear clothes?

    • Gloriana Reginata

      Total Recall (the Colin Farrell remake). Whether anyone went to watch it, though, is another matter entirely.

  • KT

    Pretty, albeit a bit bridal. Hair and makeup look shitty and underdone, as always.

  • macaroni

    She looks like a bridesmaid the morning after, trying to sneak out of a groomsmen/guest’s room, then encountering the Sunday brunch crowd in the lobby. “OH! Hey! Yeah, I’m coming to brunch….” *slicks hair behind ears* *tries to wipe away raccoon rings*

  • Mothra

    Is she getting married because that looks like one of those hipster shore wedding dresses especially with those shoes. And that purse.

  • SpcilK


  • demidaemon

    The fungus dress strikes again. She looks fine, I guess. Enh.

  • CKMia

    Well, that dr-Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

  • Trickytrisha

    Full of meh.

  • FibonacciSequins

    Your basic bland pretty girl in a bland pretty dress. Nothing wrong, just completely uninteresting.

  • TLJezebel

    She’s as exciting as lint.

  • Annistella

    She is fashion granola >channels Samantha Jones<

  • LadyVimes

    How very Tiffany’s.

  • MannahattaMamma

    She is the perfect blank slate for clothes. Perfectly blank.

  • AceOn6

    What is my pre-deb dress doing on Jessica Biel?

  • Presumptuous Insect

    I like it!

  • Snailstsichr

    Bless her heart for having good posture. And getting rid of the bangs.
    (I just got given a cookie; I had to be nice.)

  • Orange Girl

    Her style is just so boring.

  • Skippymom1

    It looks like Ma’ had to make Jessie a purty dress, grabbed a flour sack and grabbed her stash of lace scraps to make it extra fancy.

  • spititout

    Ha ha, the bitter kittens are hilarious when they are bored…