Gabrielle Union in Maria Lucia Hohan at the 2014 BET Awards

Posted on June 30, 2014

We’re trying very hard to understand the thought processes here. It’s not working.

Gabrielle-Union-2014-BET-Awards-Red-Carpet-Maria-Lucia-Hohan-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Gabrielle Union attends the 2014 BET Awards at Nokia Theatre L.A. LIVE in Los Angeles, California in a Maria Lucia Hohan gown from the Fall 2014 collection paired with thigh-high black boots.

Gabrielle-Union-2014-BET-Awards-Red-Carpet-Maria-Lucia-Hohan-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)

Gabrielle-Union-2014-BET-Awards-Red-Carpet-Maria-Lucia-Hohan-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Gabrielle-Union-2014-BET-Awards-Red-Carpet-Maria-Lucia-Hohan-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Gabrielle-Union-2014-BET-Awards-Red-Carpet-Maria-Lucia-Hohan-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (5)

Thigh-high boots. Suede thigh-high boots. In June. Paired with a diaphanous white gown. We keep saying all those words over and over again (especially “diaphanous” because it’s a fabulous word that  sounds like an ancient Roman drag name) and putting them in all kinds of different order, and they just don’t compute for us. There is no sentence that would explain or make sense of this outfit. She looks like a little girl playing in a big sister’s closet and trying everything on at once.

The completely befuddling pairing is made even worse by the fact that it’s not a very nice dress, is it? The bodice seems to have nothing whatsoever to do with her actual shape. It’s just a high-waisted (almost NO-waisted) square with a neckline that looks botched somehow.

Everything about this is horrible, Gabrielle. We’re afraid we’re going to have to ask you to leave.

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews, Juan Rico/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES]

    • RussellH88

      This is like Family Dollar Jolie.

      • ChristySchiff

        Snorted out my beverage!

      • bitchybitchybitchy

        FTW-you are killing it today, dear.

      • fromanotherplanet

        Dead @ family dollar Jolie. Y’all are too much. BYE!!

    • Glam Dixie

      I think she’s gorgeous but her hair looks terrible and the dress is really unflattering and the boots were such a wrong headed choice I can’t even. What was she thinking, did she not look in the mirror?

      • AnaRoW

        The hairstyle’s bad but the hair itself is pretty though it may be time for a touch-up soon. Ditto on the rest of your comment.

        • Glam Dixie

          Yes, that’s what I was trying and possibly failing to say, the hairstyle is really unfortunate.

        • MilaXX

          I think she keeps her hair natural under the weave so what we are seeing may be the effect of the hot weather causing her to sweat her hair out.

      • Jessica Freeman

        Based on her facial expression she did look in the mirror and thought she was Fierce. #nogirl

        • bitchybitchybitchy

          That would be the fantasy mirror in which one always looks fierce, I’m afraid. The dress isn’t great, but pairing it with thigh-high hooker boots moves it into fashion disaster land.

      • demidaemon

        I thought her hair looked really dried out. It’s very sad-looking.

    • Sarah

      Ultimate Footwear Fail.

    • Karen Belgrad

      Are “Pretty Woman” boots coming back into style? I was a rock chick in the 90′s and always wanted a pair… but they don’t make boots in “petite!”

      • Karen Belgrad

        PS Would promise to only wear with jeans.

      • Glam Dixie

        Just fold the top over, I’m sure you could totally pull it off. :)

        • Karen Belgrad

          LOL… tried that. It prohibits sitting/driving/bending the knees :)

          • Glam Dixie

            Dang, I tried! Short people probs, the struggle is real. I have short in-laws and their problems baffle my girls and I as we are all pretty tall and complain about the exact opposite about pretty much everything.

            • Karen Belgrad

              I literally once paid to have a pair of boots shortened by a shoe repair place. They thought I was insane. And it cost almost as much as the boots!

      • SportifLateBoomer

        I know, so true! I would totally wear boots like these except they would come up to my crotch. Or maybe not since in the first place I have trouble getting tall boots over my muscular calves. And “wide calf” boots are uniformly fugly.

        Enough about me. This dress looks cheap and the boots look hot, and not the sexy kind of hot. The sweaty kind. Trying too hard, she is.

        • calbear97

          Very late on this discussion but once I found a pair of knee-height boots that would zip over my muscular short calves. And I looked just like Puss in Boots.

    • Clydette Wantland

      Looks like a home economics sewing project gone bad.

      • marlie

        Seriously. Not only is it a really unflattering dress, but it also doesn’t seem to be very well made.

    • gayle

      This woman is stunning….why is she doing this to herself?

    • MilaXX

      Hot mess. Let’s also keep in mind it was about 1,000 degrees out there. Why a Gabby, why?

    • NMMagpie

      Massive do over needed.

      • MilaXX

        I love you for calling this She by Sheree!

      • KendraMR

        LOL. And the crazy thing is she actually knows Sheree!

      • demidaemon

        HAHAHAHA! A moment now relivable through Hulu!

    • Gatto Nero

      The dress by itself is all kinds of wrong. Paired with the boots? Words fail me.

    • KateShouldBeWorking

      To top it off, you can’t even say “well, at least SHE looks good”.

    • Thomas

      Gurl, go home. You’re drunk.

    • ChristySchiff

      The boots are weird, of course, but I kind of get the idea. Maybe just not with this dress, and not in June.

      What really kills me though is that waist. How do you put on swede thigh-high boots with a gown slit to there and skip the baby step of: “Does this need a belt?”

      • annla

        I perfectly agree with you here. I like the idea of the boots with something flowy.

    • Jessica Freeman

      GIRL the boots to do not distract from how bad the dress is. They only exacerbate the issue.

    • amanda siegelson

      if you are going to wear boots, isn’t this the only opportunity to wear those hideous gladiator things??? i mean, it would all still be awful, but gold gladiators would at least make a little more sense to my eyes.

      • alyce1213

        That would be full-on Costume. As it is . . .

    • Dino Bonačić

      Jersey Shore? Snookie?

    • CakesOnAPlane

      I’m wondering if it was a last-minute chickening out of fully committing to the thigh slit? Even so, SUEDE THIGH HIGH BOOTS ARE NOT THE ANSWER GABBY!

    • Kitten Mittons

      The top half of that dress is so strange. It’s like she wanted to wear the boots, and she thought if she put a black tank top on under the dress, they would “go together.” The neck line is wonky, and the black doesn’t look attached to the white. So very strange.

    • Introspective

      her head looks cray. somehow it manages to be overdone and underdone all at once.

      as for the dress? a hilarious BK said a few days ago that jesus took the wheel but didnt know how to drive in response to some random RC trainwreck (whomever it is take credit for your wit). im going to assume he was at the BET awards getting DUIs.

    • SophieCollier

      It’s a terrible dress. Absolutely terrible.

    • AC Simons

      Somebody actually designed this dress?

      • decormaven

        I had to click back to review her work- she’s the designer who made that terrible beige dress for Dita Von Teese. If she can make Miss Dita look back, Gaby hasn’t a prayer.

    • Kbear

      I don’t understand the neckline. The curve of the white gathers doesn’t match the curve of the black neckline. It looks like a sheer black tank under a nightgown – with hooker boots. Yeesh.

    • Missy

      “After this red carpet, I’m totally going to stop by Comic Con, bitches.”

      The Comic Con vibe makes me love the thigh-highs with the flowy dress. Sorry. I’m biased.

    • QuietHarper

      Hmmm.. My first impression is that someone designed curtains for her bosom, and there isn’t quite enough fabric for the drapes to be closed completely. So she had to put light-blocker shades behind them. As far as the thigh-high boots — I just can’t go there.

      • conniemd

        I completely don’t get the black sheer under the white bodice. The bodice didn’t look so revealing that modesty required an undershirt.

    • schadenfreudelicious

      Stankfoot and Stankthigh!

      • demidaemon

        STANKLEG.

    • FibonacciSequins

      She needs a homemade shield and maybe a crown made from twigs and leaves she found in the back yard to complete this look.

    • http://www.bertkeeter.com Bert Keeter

      And GURL… you’ve got to learn to layer in those extensions!

    • Laura Abrahamsen

      All of the above, and the hair.

    • marlie

      No, none of this is working. The dress is awful, I hate the boots, and her hair looks bad too. Sorry Gabrielle.

      • t bell

        That sums it up; no further questions.

    • Wink

      I’m not sure what look she was trying to achieve with this. Female impersonator? 70′s action star (Pam Grier, Tamara Dobson, etc.)? Or is she playing a resident of Paradise Island in a new Wonder Woman movie?

    • smayper

      On first glance I thought she was wearing thigh-high wooly black TIGHTS.

    • kmk05

      The horror of the boots almost obfuscates the worse horror that is the top of the dress.

      Heh. ‘Obfuscates’.

    • Imasewsure

      I’d say keep the boots since she’s obviously feeling the tacky-sexy… but oooh honey no on the rest

    • GeoDiva

      Words fail me!

    • Shawn EH

      “Brain? What is Brain?” Star Trek Realness.

    • Tami from Seattle

      Cut her some slack. The gal is obviously concerned about deep-leg thrombosis.

    • dress_up_doll

      She usually looks so much better than this. She looks a little cray-cray here. The hair, clothes, lack of make-up. What’s going on Gaby?

    • Ann VerWiebe

      Something has gone horribly wrong!

    • grasshack

      vestal virgin woman of the night

    • alyce1213

      Who let her out like that?

    • Danielle

      Scrolldown befuddlement.

    • CPK1

      She is beyond gorgeous and doesn’t seem to age, ever. But this beyond hilarious. A definitive case of WTF if I ever saw it

    • frannyprof

      whut…

    • Amel

      Hair: no. Dress: No. Boots: NO.

    • FoxInSocks

      I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – Angelina Jolie and The Leg have a lot to answer for.

    • lobsterlen

      I bought 2 pairs of thigh high boots. I never wore the first pair so I for some reason I bought another pair. It was my brain and I still can’t explain my thought process. Its thigh high boots they impair your thinking.

    • evave2

      Nightgown with boots. Oh-kay.

    • d4divine

      She looks like she was roused out of bed after a particularly bawdy night…threw some clothes on and out she went…

    • demidaemon

      Personally, I can’t even get past the hair. That is one dried out weave. It’s thirsty, girl. But the boots are a close second. She’s going to have stank leg.

    • irielle

      That’s it. My drag name must be Diaphane DeLuxe.

    • Daenyx

      …. That ensemble looks *awful*, but wow, I want those boots.

    • SuzyQuzey

      Terrible. All of it.

    • lalahartma

      Nooooooo!!!!

    • Gloriana Reginata

      That thing is a GOWN??!! No, it is a strip of cloth pinned to a mesh undergarment, that she’s tried to hide with her hair. Oh, the sorrow, wasting thigh-high suede boots on a getup like that.

    • quiltrx

      I say it so much in real life and online, I’m going to start abbreviating it TJW…That’s Just Weird.

    • boweryboy

      I think “because I can” is her logic behind wearing this. Go on, gurl. It’s a disaster but you’re owning it.

    • Terri Terri

      A wreck.

    • formerlyAnon

      Weird. But she nailed the flowing locks. If that was what she wanted.

    • fananafanafophalec

      Wanted to be in beyonce’s Run the World (Girls) video

    • Shawn EH

      Would a Red Carpet Rundown of this event just be too cruel at this point?

    • ktr33

      A white diaphanous gown (but not this piece one) paired with thigh-high black leather boots is FRO territory — For Rihanna Only. But she’d never wear such a junky-looking dress.

    • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

      That dress paired with those boots is a horror show, but her hair and makeup are cute.

    • JynxTheCat

      GAH! what horrible pairing. GAH!