Amber Heard at the Stella McCartney Resort 2015 Presentation

Posted on June 11, 2014

We just had to check in one last time on the Stella McCartney resort show because WOW, it does NOT get any more Stella than this:

 

Amber-Heard-Stella-McCartney-Resort-2015-Presentation-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Amber Heard attends the Stella McCartney Spring 2015 Presentation at Elizabeth Street Gardens in New York City in a mini dress with fringe detailing from the Fall 2014 collection paired with a multicolored python clutch and black pumps.

Amber-Heard-Stella-McCartney-Resort-2015-Presentation-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)Stella McCartney Fall 2014 Collection

Amber-Heard-Stella-McCartney-Resort-2015-Presentation-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Amber-Heard-Stella-McCartney-Resort-2015-Presentation-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Amber-Heard-Stella-McCartney-Resort-2015-Presentation-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (5)

 

It’s like Stella looks at a dress sketch and says to herself “How many things can I do to completely fuck with this dress and still get someone to wear it?” We feel like by the time Stella finished this one, she was laughing so hard there were tears rolling down her face. We suspect there were bets around the Stella offices as to which celebrity would be foolish enough to attempt this one.

This is a very silly dress, is what we’re trying to say.

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: JP Yim/Getty Images, IMAXTree]

    • RussellH88

      This is like a parody of Stella McCartney.

      That said, I don’t hate it as much as I should.

      • teensmom99

        Umm, I think this is somewhat improved by having the weird color blocking be made out of something other than the same fabric in another color. So it’s ummm better than some Stellas.

      • Thomas

        I could live with it if it weren’t for the orange patch.

      • Kent Roby

        Same here; I sorta like this dress in spite of the gimmickry. But I much prefer the way the red fringe hides the bound edge of the orange fringe on the model.

        • Jacqueline Wessel

          Some of Amber’s fringe is caught under the orange fringe. This looks like one of those dresses that gets all tangled up once you take it off.

          • Kent Roby

            Yes, it looks like she stepped into that part wrong; it should be going to her right. No one should wear this dress without someone ensuring that everything is laying just so. And wild dancing should be discouraged until after all photos are taken.

            • demidaemon

              I’m thinking that if you need an instruction manual for how to wear the dress, than perhaps the dress should not be worn. Just a thought.

        • Hysterectomypants

          I was just going to say that! On the model, you don’t see giant bound edges just sort of stuck on there. I actually really like it on the model, good taste be damned.

      • Violentcello

        Right? I quite like the black with red fringe. If the rest of the dress were simpler, I think it’d be a good look.

      • prettybigkitty

        I’ll hate it enough for both of us.

      • Mothra

        I hate it enough for both of us.

    • amanda lynn

      wow, just…. wha?

    • http://angrynerdgirl.net/ Jessi03

      I would love for Stella McCartney and Sophia Coppola to run away together on a deserted island, so they can’t do terrible things to nice actresses anymore.

      • Imasewsure

        Yes second generation entitlement leads to too much unbridled WTFery…

      • leahpapa

        If they were named Stella Fitzswizzle and Sophia Flapsaddle, we would never have heard of them.

        • http://myriameron.blogspot.com/ Heron

          LOL! but we would WISH we had! If only to laugh at their hilarious names!!

          Sophia Dominique Flapsaddle, you get in here, young lady!!

          • leahpapa

            Ha…my daughter loves a book called “The Very Bumpy Bus Ride,” which has characters with those names…fully owning my plagiarism :)

            • demidaemon

              Well, if her line was called Fitzswizzle, it would be quite appropriate.

        • http://angrynerdgirl.net/ Jessi03

          I would love to meet the Fitzswizzle and Flapsaddle families. I bet they’re friends with Fezziwig and Mrs. Figg.

      • Introspective

        nailed

      • bitchybitchybitchy

        Sophia Coppola can never make up for the execresence that was “Marie Antoinette”. I’m still surprised that French audiences didn’t bury her alive under a pile of day old baguettes and moldy cheese.

        • Alloy Jane

          I hated that movie so much I didn’t even make it to the end. I remember standing up right when I heard bells and saying, “If that’s The Cure, I’m leaving.” It was and I stormed out of my living room.

          • bitchybitchybitchy

            I totally understand. I probably scared our cat yelling at the screen when I watched bits and pieces of that.

    • imperfectlaura

      It looks like Stella took a few of her own creations (which were frankendresses themselves) and made the ultimate in frankendresses. The clutch is my favorite part of this whole look.

    • jerseyginger

      Craft store explosion.

    • Bootsy

      Flayed. Exposed muscle. Sorry, that was the first thing I saw.
      To get that out of the head: I kinda like the hem, and the colors are pretty.

    • Darcy H

      Instead of just “scroll down fug” can we have “scroll down recoil in terror”? Because that’s what’s happening here.

      I mean really though, what did happen here?

      • Gatto Nero

        Stella happened.

      • CakesOnAPlane

        Amber got punked by a Beatle spawn.

        • evave2

          My very first thought when I saw this was WHERE the heck would you wear this?

          And I looked at the model (who was dressed absolutely the way the designer wanted) and I said WTF the SHOES.

          I don’t think I recognize this as a dress. I don’t know what it is. Frankendress still means DRESS. A little shorter and it’s a tunic? I thought it had culottes.

          The amazing thing here is that I am only thinking of the dress and I don’t read ANYBODY discussing the actress yet and it makes me glad (though I think the actress had somebody advise her to wear this and she must’ve to win a bet re SOMETHING tangential to the show).

          I agree ++++10 with Darcy H “scroll down recoil in terror.”

          • Introspective

            the model’s shoes tho?????

            all ive been doing is exclaiming “OMIGAH” as i scroll thru these pics. stella stop. we beg you…

            • schadenfreudelicious

              I believe the term “clodhopper” was invented just for those type of shoes…

            • evave2

              It says Resort 2015 so I guess the shoes are supposed to be “resort-y” but all they do to me is look like mutated bowling shoes.
              Does she have a shoe collection she is flacking out there? They are ugly and the dress is ugly and the dress and the shoes are ugly.

    • Noah

      *sigh* Amber got drunk, hiked up her skirt, and took a tumble in the curtain tassels again.

    • frannyprof

      Maybe she’ll let her gay windchime boyfriend borrow it?

      • Anna

        After he runs over it with his car and puts a few holes in it first.

      • bitchybitchybitchy

        Well, it might work if they have it remade into a lampshade-it’s got that borderline bordello quality with the fringe, and then they could use a pink or red light bulb to reinforce the exquisitely cheesy effect.

      • kimmeister

        As a scarf, yes!

    • KES4K

      I actually think the hem treatment is kinda cool…but the fringe is a total WTF.

      • smh4748

        That’s the thing…even if there’s one thing that has potential, she just goes and adds 15 other things to it, and the end result is just batshit crazy instead of interesting.

      • conniemd

        Yeah. If you took away the orange fringe and some(if not all) of the rust fringe and lengthened the dress it would be interesting.

      • CO Gal

        Agreed on all counts. Is that a dickie under the clashing shades of fringe??

      • lunchcoma

        I wonder if it’s a homage to the Elderly Gay Windchime’s penchant for scarves.

    • Cloveradams

      All I can wonder, pondering that, is how many times in the course of the evening she got snagged on something. Or the tears the dry cleaner sheds when presented with this dress.

    • hughman

      Waitress on “Deep Space Twine”.

      • L’Anne

        I as thinking “Ziggy Stardust and the Lampshades from Mars.”

    • MilaXX

      This dress looks like she attached a Spirograph to a 3d printer.

    • misstressofsylar

      I feel like this is a typical starlet mistake. You feel so grateful to be invited to an event that you accept pretty much whatever was sent your way, even if it wasn’t really to your liking. And Amber here is projecting her distaste.

    • MoHub

      And here we foolishly thought Stella was improving. Guess those other looks were the exceptions that prove the rule.

      • misstressofsylar

        One wise kitten clearly said it best. She’s like a broken clock, correct at least twice a day.

        • Alyssa

          That’s the best description I’ve heard of her yet!

    • Capt. Renault

      These look great hanging in the windows of the Four Seasons, less so here.

    • Scimommy

      I knew it! Stella somehow got her hands on my “fashion sketches” from fourth grade and has been shamelessly passing my designs off as her own. Shame on you, Stella! Give it back! Those fashion sketches were a big part of my childhood!

      • Thomas

        My fashion sketches from my childhood were actually better than a lot of Stella’s designs.

        • demidaemon

          My sketches of Power Ranger monsters from childhood were better than a lot of Stella’s designs.

    • smh4748

      Bwahahaha!

      Sorry, that wasn’t constructive or edifying. But really, what else is there to say?

    • MilaXX

      Also, who recommended that bag with that dress? The dress didn’t have enough going on? A snake skin blue, yellow, tan and black bag was needed to set it off?

      • kimmeister

        It’s hilariously wrong.

    • BookManFilm

      She looks like she’s wearing all of johnny a scarves. All of them.

    • Gatto Nero

      Stella really upped the random-elements quotient for this disaster.
      And Ms. Heard has misdirected some of the red fringe from the shoulder, thereby exposing where the orange fringe is tacked on — just adding to the hideousness of it all.

      • Darcy H

        I think that is part of why it looks particularly bad, it just ups the “this was a 5 minute craft store PR challenge”-ness of the look to have that tacked on edge exposed.

    • MaggieMae

      Her eyebrows are lovely.

      • kimmeister

        I was noticing her lovely eye color for the first time myself. Like a pale jade.

        • demidaemon

          The fact that the both of you can see anything other than the dress is amazing.

    • Danielle

      My eyes just fell out of their sockets in revolt.

    • TinyDynamo

      No. No no no no no no no. No.

    • Kbear

      Maybe this dress is free-form artwork. You can put the fringe wherever you like. But poor Amber looks like she put her leg through an armhole with this one.

      • Gatto Nero

        Did you say artwork?

    • NBG

      Pair this with Louboutin’s ugly-ass plastic shoes and you would have the Platonic form of Designers Not Giving a Fuck.

    • MoHub

      I fear I will be seeing the good china if she moves wrong.

    • Yoshio

      What a beautiful face – she is really pretty.

      • bitchybitchybitchy

        She is. Now she needs to not listen to Johny when she chooses her outfits.

    • boweryboy

      oh. my. god.

    • Anna

      If she and Johnny have any pets, I bet they just LOVED this dress.

    • Sarah

      It’s like she got attacked by a militant loom enthusiast. Weft-tastic.

      • KinoEye

        “Militant loom enthusiast.” I’m trying to imagine what kind of person that would be. A lady whose favorite store is Michaels and has gifted her friends with so many of her crafts that they won’t talk to her anymore. So she goes on a weaving rampage, and poor Amber is the victim.

        • Sarah

          I had a friend that was an econ major but took one weaving class in college and decided she had found her calling. She switched to an art major, got “WVNRTIST” on her license plates, and made one wall hanging that consisted of slubby royal blue yarn and chicken wire. She is a stock broker now, but she was a fairly hard-core supporter of the loom arts there for a minute.

          • KinoEye

            The loom arts need hardcore supporters, obviously. There just aren’t enough loomers in the world. Loomers. I like it.

          • bitchybitchybitchy

            In another life a group of our friends met a very, very charming and talented weaver, and several of our friends became entranced by weaving, and took classes. One couple even invested in a full size loom. They had a sense of humor about the whole business, though. As part of the weaving course, they had to create a plaid pattern, which my friend christianed the “McYuck” tartan.

            • Sarah

              My moms was a weaver. She had a full sized loom in our house. My stuffed *but totally real* panda has his own blanket in a plaid swatch she made in one of her beginning classes. Alas, mom lost her loom in a house fire we had, and being the totally selfless saint she was, probably used that part of the insurance money for something “more important” than her own hobby. Sad how her generation taught her to do that.

            • Qitkat

              Love your mom stories :) So true your last sentence.

            • bitchybitchybitchy

              That’s sad-she must have gotten such great pleasure from weaving. How lovely that your panda still has his blanket-a great treasure.

            • Sarah

              Indeed. As are all the things she left me :)

          • Qitkat

            You have no idea how much I love and relate to this story. My journey through the loom world also began with one college class, after which I fell in love with Navaho rugs, the really high-end ones, which we got to see on a short residency living in Arizona, at the Grand Canyon NP. I still own a very small loom which I occasionally dream of warping up and having another go at it. Made me appreciate the loom arts forever more. I still have a, what is to me, very nice piece from that class, that graces table tops in my home to this day.

            • Sarah

              Nice! Anything that you get joy from, both in the doing and the remembering, is worth it, even if it only happens once! I went to a Chihuly exhibit here in Richmond last year and it turns out he has collected Indian (Mexican) blankets for his whole life. They had a huge wall of them hung on bars in the exhibit, because some of his glass pieces are inspired by them. Gorgeous weaving. Those Navaho rugs are really something.

          • kimmeister

            Does she still have the WVNRTIST on her plates? (I’ve never seen an 8 character license plate before.) That would be confusing to her current clients.

            • Sarah

              No, this was a long time ago. In VA, you can get 8 if you don’t have a space.

            • kimmeister

              Ah. In CA, we just have 7 digits with no spaces.

            • Sarah

              VA has a ridiculous amount of permutations available to the license plate shopper. Something like 200+ themed plates. You only need 500 signatures to get your theme plate produced, hence “Parrot Head,” “Amateur Radio Enthusiast,” and “Friends of Coal.”

            • kimmeister

              Ha! Do you guys have special characters? I’ve seen hearts, stars, and a hand. The hand is so random to me. Like you’re trying to high-five other cars all the time.

            • Sarah

              No, but some of the plates have special signs built in. Like, there’s one where the funds go to children’s programs, and it has a heart on the left side. So, people use it to heart things. For example, I used to have “♥ U JERRY” to pay homage to Garcia.

            • Sarah

              Oh, I just remembered something funny about a VA plate! I dated a guy who was a rock climber a long time ago, and he wanted his plate to say “Tired Climber” – as in, I’m on my way back from a climb, and I’m tired. So, he left out the vowels, and ended up with TRD CLMBR. Which, of course, is “Turd Climber.” And, considering he was a loser and we broke up, he still IS the turd climber to this day, conversationally.

            • kimmeister

              It could also be “Turd Clamber,” but I guess that would mean the same thing. I only remember the license plate number if the letters remind me of a word. My first car had CYN, so of course that was either Cynical or Cyanide. My current car has something with a G, but I don’t remember it because it doesn’t remind me of any words.

            • Sarah

              I also see a car around town nowadays that says BLCK NUBN, which I think is meant to be a nod to the racial heritage of the driver, but implies a nubbin, which I’m sure he wouldn’t want to convey.

            • kimmeister

              That makes me laugh, because I’m pretty sure Nubians don’t come in other colors. Block Nubbin? Bollock Numbing?

    • Thomas

      I imagine Stella and Raf Simons as alcoholics sharing a few bottles of wine at a long table in the dark, laughing hysterically at pulling one over on celebrities and the fashion world. Sometimes they invite Miuccia Prada, Karl Lagerfeld and Hedi Slimane. Peter Pilotto isn’t invited cause he’s not important enough and Donatella Versace is invited, but she’s too busy going under the knife and getting her tan on.

      • bitchybitchybitchy

        They do indeed pull a few over on the fashion world-Raf won an award at the CFDA awards. I love your description, and can picture it.

      • demidaemon

        This would make a great cartoon or reality show. “The Real Designers of _____________.”

    • Bozhi

      The dress goes really well with the statue she’s standing in front of in the last picture. The statue makes the dress look venue appropriate.

    • Imasewsure

      I like the top and I’m intrigued by the bottom which would be interesting if used differently and by a different designer and in a dress that makes sense…. still even with all of the WFKery of this, at least the two (slightly clashing) reds are nice…

    • Ms_flyover

      Wow – scroll down fug that starts at the armpits. That takes talent.

      • BlairBear

        Armpits ? That’s generous . I say shoulders

    • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

      It’s Stella’s tribute to the baleen whale.

    • Mona_Visa

      So Pizza Hut has a VIP lounge? Huh.

    • ChelseaNH

      It’s like three or four different dresses in one.

    • decormaven

      It’s not a dress, it’s a notions counter grab bag.

    • V No Privacy

      #StellaMcCartneyHatesWomen

    • crash1212

      Stella’s love affair with all things fringe will end soon…right? I’m embarrassed to say I actually like the swoopy treatment at the hem, and maybe without all the dopey fringe – and maybe with a few extra inches – this could’ve been a contender. Alas…she Stella’d It Up.

      ETA – I think Amber’s head looks quite pretty. Too bad it’s wasted on this icky dress.

    • marlie

      I actually didn’t think the fringe was all that bad until I got to the “holy hell, what the hell is that” hem.

    • quiltrx

      Ugh, perfect example of why most of us hate her designs. The hem is actually interesting, but all that other stupidity distracts me from the one good element.

    • CommentsByKatie

      I usually don’t hate Stella quite as much as the other kittens, but this is horrendous. Ugh.

    • a_liking

      as silly as it is….. I actually kind of like it? way less pure-fug than some of her other stuff.

    • https://www.facebook.com/pages/Words-in-Design/158664667624412 Tejana

      Meow, is that a cat scratching post AFTER the cats had their way with it?

    • ashtangajunkie

      I don’t even know what it is. Is it a dress? Do we know for sure? Is it the discount section of a craft store? Is it a Christmas tree skirt that my nanny made when she was drunk?

      • t bell

        All of the above.

    • Boulderista

      Stella dreams of designing lamp shades

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      Stella sent her assistants to ransack the notions section at a fabric store and this is the result.

    • KayEmWhy

      Make it stop please.

    • ThaliaMenninger

      It’s all the rage at the big embroidery floss convention. This is how they show off the new colors.

    • paintedfish

      it looks like my sad, 6th grade attempt at a flapper dance outfit consisting of a black leotard and glued on fringe.

    • In_Stitches

      I like it. it has cool, fun lines in colors that play very well together, popping strongly against the black backdrop of the dress.

    • Qitkat

      It’s wack, but she looks absolutely great in it.
      I’m really curious now to see what Stella has up her sleeve next ;)

    • majorbedhead

      Jesus tap-dancing Christ.

    • Mr. J.

      I love the colors from the waist up….but there’s that…I don’t know how to put this….pudendal sag going on that I find disturbing….

    • BLauD

      Oh for the love. Someone take away her crayons, please!

    • 25or6to4

      Stella just keeps blurring the lines between dress and kitschy yet avant-garde lapshade.

    • Lisalady161

      That’s the SM dresses I know and loathe! That said, her beauty almost makes it work. But those shoes are so heavy and matronly I wouldn’t wear ‘em, and I am certainly old enough for them.

    • demidaemon

      WTF. BLARGH. However, if Stella were to come out and say she is intentionally trolling celebrities with her designs, I might have a bit of respect and awe for her.

    • YoungSally

      There’s probably too much going on with that dress — but I am fascinated by the hem technique. Cording on illusion, maybe?

    • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

      What the what?????

    • macwell

      I’m sorry, but I haven’t liked anything I’ve seen from her. So sad.

    • Trickytrisha

      Good grief… Attack of the Stella Monster! But Johnny D. is surely lucky to have this cutie pie buttering his toast for him every morning.

    • FibonacciSequins

      Stella is the personification of The Emperor’s New Clothes. As in, I don’t think she’s trolling. I think she’s surrounded by ass-kissers so she doesn’t recognize how bad her designs are.

      • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

        So true.

    • luluransom

      This made me laugh out loud with glee. She’s just F’ing with us now, right??

      • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

        Yes Stella is totally f–king with us.

      • Gatto Nero

        It’s the only possible explanation.
        Other than that she has zero taste.

    • alyce1213

      Are those various lengths of upholstery fringe hanging off her? Typical Stella. She designs like a child.

    • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

      That dress is so messed up but, but Amber is a trooper, doing her best to sell it.

    • MannahattaMamma

      plus really terrible shoes. Really terrible. Maybe more terrible than the dress.

    • Terri Terri

      So you’re saying this is like when Lucy and Ethel wore feedbags on their heads in Paris, thinking they were the latest in chic hats? ;)

    • lalahartma

      Eek.

    • c8h10n4o2

      I got a bum skein of yarn recently and while trying to untangle it so that I could make it into a usable ball the 30-odd different interlocking loops were hanging off of my swift in almost this exact pattern. Who knew I made fashion? I just thought that it was a shit storm.

    • judybrowni

      Every time I see the phrase “in Stella Mcartney,” I flinch.
      Is it just me?

    • suzq

      I bet it snagged 1,000 times over the course of the evening.

    • Akemi

      UGH.

    • A Shiny O’Connor

      Christ on a bike, it is beyond awful. A phrase which Stella is likely ironize to title a pre fall collection.

    • A Shiny O’Connor

      I’ll have another go. It’s a sartorial expression of a kidney transplant.

    • Leah Elzinga

      why is the fringe attached LIKE THAT?! I mean, really, there was no more sophisticated way to do that? It could have been tucked into a hidden seam in the black? If only there wasn’t bargain bin trim all over this thing, and trim that looks like it was glue gunned on… *tsk tsk tsk*