Marion Cotillard Style Double Shot: Cannes Edition

Posted on May 21, 2014

Marion, sweetie? Is this some sort of cry for help?


Marion-Cotillard-Two-Days-One-Night-Photocall-Cannes-2014-Maison-Martin-Margiela-Couture-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Marion Cotillard attends photo call for “Two Days, One Night” during the 67th Annual Cannes Film Festival in Cannes, France in a Maison Martin Margiela llok from the Spring 2014 couture collection.

Marion-Cotillard-Two-Days-One-Night-Photocall-Cannes-2014-Maison-Martin-Margiela-Couture-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)Maison Martin Margiela Spring 2014 Couture Collection

Marion-Cotillard-Two-Days-One-Night-Photocall-Cannes-2014-Maison-Martin-Margiela-Couture-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Marion-Cotillard-Two-Days-One-Night-Photocall-Cannes-2014-Maison-Martin-Margiela-Couture-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Marion-Cotillard-Two-Days-One-Night-Photocall-Cannes-2014-Maison-Martin-Margiela-Couture-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (5)

Cause man, this is NOT working for us. We want to give her props for bringing some edge to Cannes, but that is a junk drawer in dress form, accompanied by highly unflattering hair and booties.

Later, she slipped into something more comfortable. A condom:

Marion-Cotillard-Two-Days-One-Night-Premiere-Cannes-2014-Maison-Christian-Dior-Couture-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Marion Cotillard attends the premiere of “Two Days, One Night” during the 67th Annual Cannes Film Festival in Cannes, France in a Christian Dior couture dress accessorized with Chopard jewelry.

Marion-Cotillard-Two-Days-One-Night-Premiere-Cannes-2014-Maison-Christian-Dior-Couture-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)Christian Dior Spring 2014 Couture Collection

Marion-Cotillard-Two-Days-One-Night-Premiere-Cannes-2014-Maison-Christian-Dior-Couture-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Marion-Cotillard-Two-Days-One-Night-Premiere-Cannes-2014-Maison-Christian-Dior-Couture-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Marion-Cotillard-Two-Days-One-Night-Premiere-Cannes-2014-Maison-Christian-Dior-Couture-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (5)

Is that it? Is she doing a “The contents of the drawers in my house” theme for Cannes? Like this is her salute to her nightstand and that other one was the salute to her sewing kit or something? Explain it to us, Marion. And while you’re at it, explain the weird hair and the insistence on those booties.




[Photo Credit:, IMAXTree]

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  • Danielle

    Ribbed for our displeasure!

    • dustinrhodes


    • Fuchsiaforever


    • Anna Vasquez


    • Noah


  • Lolo Andre

    Man she has some balls for giving such face when wearing ugly dresses continuously

  • mmolleur

    That’s absolutely the worst she’s ever looked. “Later she slipped into something more comfortable. A condom.” Laughed too hard at the office; co worker gave me the stink eye.

  • Mrs. Julien

    So much ill-advised couture, so little time.

  • thecitysleeps

    Why is the first dress so short it’s fucking up all the proportions? Why do both those pairs of shoes exist? Why is that second dress a thing? And Dior? I could have made that in an afternoon with my recycling plastic bags. I can’t.

    • Pennymac

      So much ^this^.

  • When I become Executrix of Fashion, booties with open toes will be punishable by rayon and Indian food.

    • Indian food is no punishment!

      • …It is when you try to get the smell out of cheap rayon through multiple washings…

        • Fair enough.

        • Sarah

          Yup. I love Indian food, but I made some butter chicken on Monday night and my house still smells like curry. Delicious and odoriferous.

          • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

            And moustaches. I love love love some spicy Indian food. However, I don’t like to smell onion curry when I lift a big spoonful of chocolate ice cream to my mouth. Even washing my face with fragrant soap doesn’t work sometimes. Beard problems: not just for Scientologists and Taylor Swift.

          • demidaemon

            Hahahaha…”beard problems!” The BKs are on fire today!

          • Sarah

            I live with a man possessed of a Beard of Epic Proportions. It is in a constant struggle to keep itself free of foreign objects, both food and lint-related. I sometimes wish that beard would take the attitude of my (mostly good-for-nothin) ex and just say “Savin’ it for later.”

          • CelandineM

            I SNORTED, “Beard problems” indeed!

          • Judih1

            I didn’t know that Taylor Swift had beard problems. Is she a beard or she needs a beard?

    • majorbedhead

      I would like to apply for the position of Assistant Executrix of Fashion – Peep-Toe-Bootie Burning Division.

      • Sent off to HR!

      • bitchybitchybitchy

        I would also like to be a minion of the Executrix of Fashion… charge of enforcement.I modestly suggest that whoever let Marion go out like this be whacked with a huge Birkin bag.

        • Jacob Bowen

          A HAND PAINTED Birkin bag.

          • bitchybitchybitchy


  • Latin Buddy

    That second dress? The answer is: DIOR! Or rather, Raf.

    • Denise Alden

      I thought the exact same thing.

    • demidaemon

      Nailed it.

  • I think this is the point where you have to admit that being French and beautiful covers a multitude of sins, but it still has limits.

    • @Biting Panda


    • greymain

      amen sista!

  • @Biting Panda

    There is not enough Frechness in the world, to make this okay.

    • DuBey2


  • YoungSally

    Thank God she didn’t wear the headpiece with the first outfit. The second looks like the dust ruffle challenge from PR….remember that show that we all used to watch and now don’t.

    • Kent Roby

      I was thinking that she should have worn the headpiece, so we would have no idea who was wearing this!

    • formerlyAnon

      I am not convinced the headpiece would not have been an improvement on that hair.

  • yethica

    Everyone needs to step away from the Dior for a while, methinks.

    • charlotte

      And Dior needs to step away from everyone.

  • GillianHolroyd

    The second look intrigues me. I think if she’d scrapped the necklace and swapped out the clunky shoes for something more delicate, it would’ve worked.

    • MilaXX

      I don’t even hate the necklace, but those shoes gotta go!

  • Jeremiah Capacillo

    Remember when we all j’adored Marion in Dior?

    • @Biting Panda

      ….sigh….good times…..

      • Jeremiah Capacillo

        Ugh fucking Raf Simons

        • Ona_in_Barcelona

          He’s the WORST.

          • Jeremiah Capacillo

            What’s sad is that his stint at Jil Sander was pretty cool, and he made quite a number of decent collections for the design house. These numerous Dior fugs are nothing but a clear indication of just how wrong Simons is for the Dior brand.

  • LaSylphide

    The first one looks like one of those old pebbly vinyl bathroom floors. The second one looks like bad Dior. Oh, right: it is Dior.

  • luludexter

    more crappy Dior…ugh…

  • Janet B

    At least she’s wearing season appropriate dresses.

  • Anna

    I wonder if she and Julianne Moore have met. They could form their own binary system of Atrociously Fug.

    • demidaemon

      I’m scared at what they and their teams could come up with together.

  • TheDivineMissAnn

    That first dress looks like a 9th grade art project taught by the same teacher who teaches Home Economics. (or new age living or whatever the hell home ec. is called these days.)

  • FibonacciSequins

    Project Runway, hardware store challenge.

    • TAGinMO

      Or the notions-shop version of Anthony Ryan’s birdseed dress.

      • FibonacciSequins

        Yes! Although I’d wear Anthony Ryan’s birdseed dress before this atrocity. I think I actually see springs embedded there.

        • majorbedhead

          I saw those too, although at least the dress is so short, she won’t have to actually sit on it.

          • FibonacciSequins

            I’d like to see video of her getting in or out of the car for that photocall. She must have been perched on the edge of the car seat with the skirt pulled up around her waist.

        • TAGinMO

          Well, to be fair, Dress #1 would probably place in the top 3 of a PR “unconventional” challenge. But, like Anthony Ryan’s birdseed dress, it’s not appropriate Cannes attire.

  • lunchcoma

    I see that Dior has branched out from making Jennifer Lawrence look terrible and is now inflicting horror show looks on Marion as well. I assume they’re going to start botching things up for Charlize next?

    • barbarienne

      I would say “Run, Charlize, run!” but I have a feeling if they came for her, she would fuck their shit up. And I don’t mean their dresses.

      • Or, she could just send Sean Penn after them.

  • Capt. Renault

    She’s a Pearly Queen, except, you know, French!

    I cannot support the idea of French Pearly Queens.

  • Denise Rambo

    That first dress would RIP UP the underside of your upper arms!

    • kimmeister

      And leave a trail of crushed doodads everywhere you sat!

      • FibonacciSequins

        Or crush your doodads.

  • bitchybitchybitchy

    Jesus cringed. My word, woman, you’re at Cannes, and you’re wearing a dress that looks as if you rolled around in a bargain basement’s miscellaneous button collection?
    As for the second look, perhaps it is time to craft my very own artisanal voodoo doll of Raf Simons…

    • decormaven

      I’d buy one of those voodoo dolls.

      • bitchybitchybitchy

        We could each dress our dolls in our least favorite Raf Simons to add to the piquancy.

  • Fuchsiaforever

    What’s going on in EUROPE???? French design houses are going cray cray!!!!! It’s scary….is that awaits us in USA??? Cuz, yeah historically the fashion trends travel West……Scaryyyyyyyyy

    • FibonacciSequins

      Bite your tongue!

  • ktr33

    Is it some “I’m-french-therefore-I’m-chic-no-matter-what-I-wear” test case?

  • suzq

    The booties gots to go! I love the first dress, sorry. I’m a sucker for interesting textures. Big win, with better shoes. The second dress only looks good if you’re walking away from everyone.

  • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

    Did her hair stylist go to the Helen Keller Academy For Hair?

  • MilaXX

    First look : Too short, too silly , too young for her. Give that to a teen or 20something and let them wearing it with a pair of skinny jeans or flats and it would look cute. On Marion it’s a fail. That hair and the boots only compound the error.
    Second look: I don’t hate it. If she had worn an actual shoe instead of those silly boots, his could have worked. I even like the weird hair. Put on a silver or if she didn’t want to copy the runway, a navy pump and call it a day.

  • majorbedhead

    A floral, mullet condom, no less.

    Can peep toe booties stop being a thing now? They never don’t look ridiculous. Ever. Either be a boot (or a bootie, if you absolutely have to), or be a peep toe. Stop with the franken-shoes.

  • Anne At Large

    GIRL! Give Lena Dunham her clothes back!

  • Sarah

    Anybody else getting “artisinal bullet holes” from the back of that Dior?

    • FibonacciSequins

      Cannot be unseen!

      • Sarah

        Bedskirted target practice. Damn our collective eyes.

        • demidaemon

          It’s what happens after Raf leaves the design room and all his beleaguered assistants take out their rage on his designs. Unfortunately, he just repurposes them into the design. 🙁

          • Sarah

            Ha! “Darling, he’s gone – let’s shoot that rag with our bedazzler gun!!”

          • demidaemon

            Next day:

            Assistants: AUGH. What the hell? Why do I have to work with him?
            Raf: Hmmmm. This an interesting addition. Now, if I just through this on there and ruche this there and (continues)
            Assisstants: WHY? WHY? WHY?

    • formerlyAnon

      Girl, you ain’t right.*

      *Thereby explaining why you are among the most beloved BKs.

      • Sarah

        Gorsh. Likewise, I’m sure 😉

  • schadenfreudelicious

    While she doesn’t seem concerned about nearly showing the good china in that first dress…apparently ankles are verboten!

  • Lol, oh no. A+ commentary, gents. This is why I’m here (well, Mad Men first, but this is why I’m here when it’s not airing).

  • kimmeister

    Ugh, more tapir-snout heels.
    Well, her necklace in look 2 is pretty stellar. At least there’s that.

    • Sarah

      Heheheh tapir-snout! Love it.

    • FibonacciSequins

      Upvoting for ‘tapir-snout heels’ – it communicates just the right amount of disdain!

  • doodley

    I get that fashion is not about comfort, but that first dress would be absolutely painful. I may be wrong on this, but I think I see screws tacked onto that thing.

  • Claudia Berry

    Dior is not doing it.

  • LilyVanessi

    The first dress reminds me of the I Spy books I used to buy for my kids. Maybe Waldo’s hiding in there too.

    • formerlyAnon

      I had the same thought, and it’s part of why I kind of like the dress. But it’s not working here, not at all.

  • OhSheila

    Honestly, 3 more inches to the first dress and I’m a fan. It’s just way too short for my taste.

  • marlie

    Two ugly dresses accompanied by ugly shoes. Seriously, that first one looks like a craft project using spare buttons.

  • B_C_J

    I think I have to throw up. This beautiful woman deserves better clothes than these abominations.

    • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

      Luckily the second dress can be used as a barf bag.

      • demidaemon

        Among other things.

  • Miss wks

    At least she’s ribbed for your viewing pleasure…..

  • FridaStaire

    Liberate this poor woman from Dior! (She should have worn the headpiece in the fits shot, it’s the best bit.)

    • Lori

      I was thinking that she should have worn in, complete with the mask, so that no one would have known she got stuck with the sewing kit explosion dress and those incredibly ugly booties.

  • Qitkat

    Honestly, if someone has to look like they are nuts wearing Dior these days, my favorite person to carry it off is Marion. She is beautiful but in a quirky way herself, and knows it and owns it, IMO. I’m happy to give her a bit of a pass as some do with other famous names. She makes me smile, and I don’t think she is taking herself too seriously. I always look forward to what she is wearing. She and Lupita in her Met Gala dress can come have tea with me anytime 🙂

    • Qitkat

      Another thought, and I realize no one else may share this opinion but moi, lol, I think that Elisabeth Moss sometimes looks a little bit like Marion Cotillard. Lizzie sometimes wears quirky clothes, and in a recent editorial she also looked as beautiful as Marion can; there is something about the way they each smile, and their eyes that seems similar. You can google image the two names together to find pictures that are reminiscent of one another.

      • Kitten Mittons

        I can see it. I never would have thought of that association myself, but there is something to that. Interesting!

      • demidaemon

        Good point!

  • dmkava

    I think she looks great in that second dress, the back is especially beautiful

    • Miss wks

      I’d wear it in a heartbeat…with the boots! LOVE it!

  • SewingSiren

    The junk draw dress is fascinating. It would look really good on a very creative middle schooler.
    The white dress is a beautiful onion.

  • Tanya Wade

    I love it when bead class night goes crazy after a few glasses of Jaeger and we all get the glue gun out and make dresses. Ah, good times!

  • She has won the Fug All-Around.

    • demidaemon

      The Tour de Fug?

      • decormaven

        Fug d’Or?

        • demidaemon

          Beacoup de Fug?

  • nannypoo

    What has happened to her? She used to be so well dressed.

  • CeeRich

    What in the Candy Crush hell is going on with that first dress? The 2nd one is hideous. Oh Marion…you are giving me the sads.

    • Qitkat

      Lol, Candy Crush, that damn game took up hours of my time, and then I got stuck on a level that was supposed to be easy, and finally deleted it from my iPad. That is an excellent comparison, I knew the dress reminded me of something besides my junk jewelry box.

      • MilaXX

        I am still hopelessly addicted. My level is embarrassingly high.

  • Cynica

    Marion, cherie, it’s time to break up with Dior. They hate you.

  • Belvane

    This is tragic. She’s been brainwashed by Bad Dior.

  • Baghag

    I actually love the second outfit…. srsly.

  • andi56

    Dior! Vous êtes tellement plus!

  • demidaemon

    Well, the seocond one is Dior, again proving that Miss Hendricks’ Dior was a clear fluke. And the first one looks like she is wearing the bedazzled version of the Eye Guy from Power Rangers.

  • msdamselfly

    I kind of like the first dress-it looks very “Cannes”

  • SugarSnap108

    The joy I derive from your descriptions is almost worth the pain of looking at these clothes.

  • E. D.

    Love everything about the first outfit. Hate everything (hair and makeup included) about the second outfit. It looks like bad homemade blinds and bad homemade curtains sewn together by a blind person.

  • quiltrx

    I think the first dress is actually a body-size lint roller. I see candy, ballpoint-pen springs, and grandma’s button box.
    I wonder if she dropped a trail of shit everywhere she walked?

  • livesarah

    LMAO I assumed because the first one was so bad it must be Dior. Then the real Dior showed up and showed us what a bad dress REALLY looks like.

    The first one reminds me of those sea worms that make themselves a little home out of tiny shells, sand and other detritus. It’s a detritus dress.

  • cocohall

    I think both of these looks are FMO. You need to be seriously thin and tall to pull them off, and even then, they are really for the catwalk, not the RC. But I applaud her for taking some risks. But the man-repeller hair needs to go. I think if you are going to go OTT with the clothes, you need to pull back a bit on the hair/make-up. Only Miss Tilda can push both to extremes and make it work.

  • nosniveling

    well I love the first and think the second’s pretty cool too

  • Michelle Lim

    We need to have an intervention for Dior’s house designer. Pronto.

  • teensmom99

    Just because you’ve been told that you’re so gorgeous you can wear anything doesn’t mean you should.

  • Mr. J.

    Marion. Listen to me. No.

  • Daisy Walker

    Those booties make me stabby.

  • antonialee

    Who is forcing MC to wear this stuff?

  • Boulderista

    The first dress totally reminds me of le Maison Picassiette … Which is beautiful and intriguing but should never be a dress

  • PastryGoddess

    This post is made from the ashes of Raf Simons career.


  • Guest

    What’s the most one can get for MURDER in France? I’d like to sentence RAF SIMONS to at least life at hard labor for what he’s done to DIOR!

  • RAF …what ever meds you are taking…. they are not working!

  • sk8tfan

    The French are going to revoke her citizenship any day now for that.

  • DesertDweller79

    Can we start a kickstarter fund to get Marion Cotillard and Jennifer Lawrence out of their Dior contracts? I just want them far away from the disaster that is 2014 Dior. Please.

    And those booties are awful.

  • Joey Melliza

    She definitely needs to lose weight to pull these looks off… she definitely is extending her crazy lady in dior wheelhouse… hahahahahahahahaha

  • I almost like the second one, but i think it’s just a reaction to the first one.

  • BayTampaBay

    Love the “Junk Drawer” dress but it is too short and the boots are WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!

  • MoHub

    Maybe if she’d worn the runway mask with the first look, this would be less embarrassing.

  • MarissaLG

    I like the first dress. Granted, it’s not the most flattering (especially up top) and the shoes are wrong, but it’s such an interesting piece and it’s fun and funny! I dig it.

    Second is….not cute.

  • DeTrop

    Midlife crisis????

  • MartyBellerMask

    TWO pairs of black toeless booties? Why???

  • Mary Lauer

    The first one just makes me think of a multi-colored Pearly Queen. See:

  • AnnaleighBelle

    That first dress looks like it has eyes ALL OVER.

  • Jessica

    i like it

  • formerlyAnon

    Fucking peep toe ankle boots. The 2nd pair are at least a bit more original than most, if still ugly and not suited to the ensemble.

    I quite like her face/head in the 2nd set of photos. I want very badly to like the dress in the first photo, but it’s not working. The second dress might have been a quite chic little summer shift if the back matched the front (fabric and length) and the whole thing was fitted properly.

  • Mrs. O

    She’s brave and bold and French. Bless her for being willing to be different. Who cares how it turns out? She is saying, “Regardez moi, je suis le real thing. Vous et unworthy.”

  • ThaliaMenninger

    She needs to revert to her wardrobe from Midnight in Paris. She was so lovely and perfect in that.

  • I could kinda see the appeal of that Dior, but those shoes are a nightmare.

  • Pterodactyl111

    Peep-toe booties are my Voldemort.

  • H2olovngrl

    Apparently she is doing the contents of MY nightstand drawer!

  • DuBey2

    Alas, Marion IS mortal, after all…

  • Thundar99

    LUV the sewing kit. I like the idea of the condom if not the application…but what else it new. The shoes on both are questionable but moreso on the latter.

  • Liza Ortiz

    This dress belongs on Chloe Moretz