Jim Parsons, Matt Bomer, and Taylor Kitsch at “The Normal Heart” Premiere

Posted on May 22, 2014

Let’s indulge in some good old-fashioned stereotyping and play “Guess Which One is the Straight Guy?”

Are you ready, kittens? Remember to use your buzzers. And… GO.


Jim-Parsons-Matt-Bomer-Taylor-Kitsch-The-Normal-Heart-LA-Premiere-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Jim Parsons, Matt Bomer, and Taylor Kitsch attend the premiere of “The Normal Heart” at the Writers Guild Theatre in Beverly Hills, California.

Jim-Parsons-Matt-Bomer-Taylor-Kitsch-The-Normal-Heart-LA-Premiere-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)

Sorry, Taylor. You done got showed up by the gays. Wait. Why are we apologizing? You should be apologizing to us for this poor showing.


Let’s break this down:

Jim-Parsons-Matt-Bomer-Taylor-Kitsch-The-Normal-Heart-LA-Premiere-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Jim-Parsons-Matt-Bomer-Taylor-Kitsch-The-Normal-Heart-LA-Premiere-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Boring, but pretty much impeccable. The subdued shirt and tie are sophisticated, but they don’t really photograph well.


Jim-Parsons-Matt-Bomer-Taylor-Kitsch-The-Normal-Heart-LA-Premiere-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (5)

Jim-Parsons-Matt-Bomer-Taylor-Kitsch-The-Normal-Heart-LA-Premiere-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (6)

Less boring; more impeccable. The color of the suit is what makes this look. Well. That, and the head.


Jim-Parsons-Matt-Bomer-Taylor-Kitsch-The-Normal-Heart-LA-Premiere-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (7)

Jim-Parsons-Matt-Bomer-Taylor-Kitsch-The-Normal-Heart-LA-Premiere-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (8)

We can smell the cigarettes and empty beer bottles from here.


Jim-Parsons-Matt-Bomer-Taylor-Kitsch-The-Normal-Heart-LA-Premiere-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (9)

And there you have it. Let that be a lesson to you, hetero-boystars. If you know you’re going to be sharing the red carpet with skinny, good-looking gay men, you best step up your muthafuckin GAME, bitch.




[Photo Credit: KM/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES, Janice Ogata / PRPhotos.com]

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  • Karen Belgrad

    I’ll take the one in the middle… to go.


    • Le_Sigh

      Man, that head… drool.

    • Anna

      Matt Bomer = perfection. Dayum.

  • Carrie

    Bomer is looking best I’ve seen in a while. Taylor, comb your damn hair and shave. Parsons, you’re okay.

  • sienna elm

    I think we should draw up a petition that every boy star own a burgundy suit.

  • WendyD

    I’m still Texas Forever.

  • imperfectlaura

    Here’s the thing…
    Taylor Kitsch will always be Tim Riggins to me, and this outfit, while sloppy, is very Riggins-like. For that reason, it doesn’t really bother me at all. That said, Matt Bomer is clearly the best dressed of the bunch.

    • NMMagpie

      I know, right? I have to say that this is the first time I have ever found Mr. Kitsch handsome and it looks like he slept in those clothes. Go figure.

    • kbshee

      Tim Riggins, sigh. If he only had a ’33’ embroidered on a pocket that outfit would be perfect.

    • katiessh

      Oh Riggs, he’s always the best

    • Danielle

      I don’t care if Taylor looks dirty and unkempt, I have Tim Riggins fantasies for days. FOR DAYS.

    • Valdri8

      OMG – who cares? it is Tim Riggins! I remember watching so many episodes of FNL knowing that I should want to be doing Matty with all his clean hair and good-study habits, while all the time just wanting to ride #33 in the tiny trailer even if his hair WAS disgusting. Very Peggy Sue of me.

      I have the feeling that if there were such a thing as smell-o-vision the above statement would no longer hold true.

      Methinks the final episode of FNL is just waiting for me to watch it on this oh-so-gloomy day.

    • FunButNutz

      Matt Bomer was a football star in Texas when he was in High School. So you can have your fake Riggins or your real life Riggins…..

      • lrhg

        I can’t have both?

  • Funkykatt

    The last one looks like one of Brad Pitt’s lemmings

  • PastryGoddess

    Hey Taylor you look like hell. Let me help you out of that horrible outfit.

  • thecitysleeps

    The colour of Bomer’s suit and Bomer in general. Is it acceptable to heart-eye emoji?

  • @Biting Panda

    Sausage Breakfast! Thanks, Uncles! I once had a *seriously hot* sex dream about Dr. Sheldon Cooper. I’ll never be able to look at Jim Parsons without blushing a little. He’s my pick of this bunch.

    • Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

      Wanna make a sausage breakfast sandwich? Which side do you want to stand on? I just don’t want to be by Taylor, he looks like he smells.

  • IMNAngryLiberal

    I love, love Jim Parsons, but he always looks to me as though his suit coat’s are a smidge too small. I have no idea how someone as thin as he is can even FIND a coat that is too small.

    • Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

      I think it’s his posture. He always stands “shoulders back; tits out” and I think it pulls at the front of his jackets.

      • alyce1213

        I wish he’d loosen up just a little bit, but that’s just who he is. It’s how he presents himself and even how he speaks.

  • NBG

    Is it even legal for Bomer to pair that suit color with his eye color? Because… dayum! Hope it comes with smelling-salts for innocent bystanders.

  • An ironed shirt would have improved Taylor’s look enormously.

    • FrigidDiva

      So would a shower.

  • James

    Happy Thursday to me. Hello Mr. Bomer. I suppose Parsons looks fine but he never does anything to me and though he looks like he just crawled out of bed after a rough night and grabbed the first handy thing to wear, Taylor on the other hand is still hot. I don’t know, it’s a weakness ok. I’ll cop to it.

  • lexilexi

    I’ll take Taylor, stinky & all.

  • Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

    Taylor looks like he just came off a bender. Frickin’ shave, for heaven’s sake. Scruffy is fine for parking lot appearances, but this is a premier.

    *Warning: PMS*

  • Hey, not one of them is wearing a knit tie! I love the shirt & tie combo on Parsons, I just wish he looked a tad more relaxed. Bomer–well, great face, but for me the pocket square is “de trop” and focus pulling. Kitsch should have a motorcycle helmet as a prop to silently explain why he skipped all grooming that day.

  • For some reason that last line makes me miss Daryl from TWD so much. I think it was the you best that got me.. 🙂

  • Anna

    Why hello there, Matt. I haven’t had breakfast yet and I’m starving. You’ll do, thanks!

    Jim looks cute, although that shirt colour is making him look sallow. Taylor crawled onto the red carpet from the allnighter he’s pulled.

  • Denise Rambo

    I miss Tim Riggins.

  • colleenjanel

    Hellooooooo Mr. Bomer! You’ll do just fine.

  • dmkava

    I think “boring” works at this screening. It is kind of a subdued subject isn’t it?

    • unbornfawn

      Yes, I saw a stage production of the Normal Heart. It is about the very early days of AIDS.

      • dmkava

        Yes, my question was rhetorical but thanks for the info regardless. Lucky you on seeing the stage play

      • Latin Buddy

        On the one hand, know your venue works in real life – don’t wear sequins to a funeral

        On the other, these are professionals, they bring more attention to the issue, project, and cause by doing what they’re paid to do, namely, be a star. For guys to half ass it, does a disservice to everyone.

      • dmkava

        Well, I come here to learn and I have been appropriately schooled!

  • unbornfawn

    Taylor, this is why so many women say all the good ones are gay or taken. You’ve got the raw materials dude, step it up. Matt for the win.

  • MartyBellerMask

    Wow, Jim Parsons, that is one ugly tie. But everything fits, so yay.

  • Tee

    Has Taylor not heard of WTFU? Someone on his management team must have heard about it?

  • Gatto Nero


  • Jessica Freeman

    There are other men in this photo besides Matt? Didn’t notice.

  • BlairBear

    I went meh YEAH and back to meh with a helping of douchey

  • disqus_ElZXSMu7cp

    Tim Riggins’s whole thing is cigarettes and empty beer bottles. keep on keeping on, honey.

  • decormaven

    Le sigh… two out of three ain’t bad.

  • Kent Roby

    I suddenly have thoughts of having one last fling with Matt, just before marrying Jim and living happily ever after. Taylor would be our yard/pool guy.

    • Imasewsure

      Make him speak with an accent too… you should really have a Brazilian pool boy after all. You’ve earned it

  • rebeemoon

    Maybe Kitsch was TRYING to distinguish himself, to show that he is different, so to speak.

    • ktr33

      Or to make it clear to everyone: I AM NOT GAY in real life, I just play one on TV. [Not that there’s anything wrong with it!]

  • GorgeousThings

    We can smell the cigarettes and empty beer bottles from here.

    OMG, you guys SLAY me!!!!! I’m so glad I wasn’t drinking coffee or I’d have to buy a new monitor and keyboard.

  • kimmeister

    1. I love the color of Jim’s suit, even more than Matt’s. I just wish his brows were a bit more groomed.
    2. Matt’s face could launch a thousand ships, but something is off with his makeup. Either with bronzer or under eye concealer.
    3. I’m still mad at Taylor’s performance of Gambit. Not that I’m looking forward to Channing Tatum taking over the role. Anyway, he’s disheveled.

    • Dandesun

      I actually enjoyed Taylor’s Gambit… mainly because I went into it not expecting Remy to resemble his comic self all that much. Still, aside from the lack of accent, he did do the bo work well and was able to escape a fortress one wasn’t supposed to escape from…

      It was the rest of the movie that sucked. Good Lord that shit was baaaaad. It was on again last night on FX or Spike and… let’s just say I’m glad they’ve acknowledged that it’s not part of their X-Men canon at ALL.

      I AM interested in Channing Tatum’s take. I find him immensely likable and charming, he WANTS the role badly and I rather hope he can do the accent. That man can dance and do action so I think he’ll be able to do Remy’s moves.

      • kimmeister

        Gambit has always been my favorite X-man, so I admit I’m super picky about his portrayal. I’ll also admit that my idea of what he should sound like was shaped by the guy who did the voice in the cartoon from the mid-90’s. I always wanted Michael Vartan to play him, but by now he is too old to be the character at the age the story is set.

        • Dandesun

          Oh, I am a hardcore Remy fan. Haaaardcoooooore. But I had already trained myself with the first X-movies to separate them completely from the comics lest I be hugely disappointed… and some things were still disappointing but still. And I went into Origins: Wolverine with the lowest expectations of all.

          The cartoon… had its place. I have to be honest, I hold a great deal AGAINST the cartoon because due to the writing and voice acting there, people wrote Gambit as constantly referring to himself in the third person in fanfics for the next freaking decade and it was so. annoying. (Plus, I love Jean but the cartoon had her fainting due to power use ALL OF THE TIME!)

          • demidaemon

            I still adore the X-Men cartoon, because it was one of my favorites of all time. I do see your point about Gambit’s self-referentialness, but it worked for the character at the time.

  • MilaXX

    let the choir say AMEN!

  • B_C_J

    That was a very funny post, gentlemen. The laugh was needed & appreciated.

  • bitchybitchybitchy

    Matt Bomer for the win-that suit is gorgeous,and Matt is just the man to rock it. Taylor, you’ve been schooled.

  • Granny panties

    I just goggled Tim riggins, whoa, I’m starting my day a dirty old lady, but a happy one. I love Matt’s burgundy suit. I wish jim would wear a super expensive Sheldon crazy plaid suit. Taylor looks likes the help.

  • Chuck Barthelme

    Jim and Taylor didn’t stand a chance anyway, having to be photographed with Matt.

    • Alyssa_T_Robot

      it’s not fair to any mortal man.

  • Jacqueline Wessel

    Ah, the sausage truck arrived a day early.

  • Stella Zawistowski

    “Impeccable” and “Tim Riggins” do not go together. So I’m just fine with all three of them. Yes please.

  • jonnyf8

    This does NOT make me want to play FMK.

  • Valdri8

    Seriously….looking at them Left to Right:

    Straight girl fill in the blank…..

    “I totally want him to ______________

    Left- accompany me to my cardiology appointment.”

    Middle – help me look for the perfect black shoes to go with my LBD.”

    Right – ride me hard and put me up wet.”

  • Mr. J.

    While we’re stereotyping….Taylor looks more dreamy and femme than either of the others….Jim looks like our witty accountant….Steven looks the extremely handsome new pastor at our church…Taylor works at the gas station and, after a few drinks, who knows what could happen….

  • Dandesun

    I’ll be honest… I don’t think I can be rational when it comes to Taylor Kitsch. He looks sexy as hell to me and I want to drag him into the nearest coat closet/corner/slightly private area and do all sorts of things and have him do all sorts of things back. I see he’s already given me a head start with the buttons on his shirt… I appreciate that. Also, good for him for wearing a belt! So many boystars seem to forget that item these days.

    Matt Bomer doesn’t require me to be rational. He’s so fucking fabulous in every possible way.

    Jim Parsons… I have such an incredible loathing for Sheldon Cooper that it actually helps to see him in a suit since Sheldon has to be coerced into those things by *everyone on the planet* — ugh! I can’t…

    SO!! All in all? Jim Parsons – nicely subdued and well put together. Matt Bomer – you’re delightful. Taylor Kitsch – let’s go play John Carter somewhere… I’ll be the Princess from Mars and you can wear that bondage gear and I’ve got plenty of Gatorade to rehydrate with.

  • Corsetmaker

    The only one I know is Jim Parsons, but give me scruffy anyday over shiny shiny.

  • Imasewsure

    Better Bomer it the F Up sloppy straight guy!!

  • ashtangajunkie

    I love Taylor Kitsch, but everyone disappears when they stand next to Matt Bomer. I can still smell the stale beer though.

  • Amel

    Is it just me, or is Matt Bomer’s bronzer a little uneven? Also, his pocket square needs to be more square and less crumply. Otherwise, he’s perfection

  • Eclectic Mayhem

    And after we’ve played ‘Guess Which One is the Straight Guy?’ we could play ‘Guess which one is a box-office-poison-charisma-vacuum…’

  • formerlyAnon

    Proving my tastes are dull, I like Mr. Parsons’ ensemble the best, by far.

    Bomer’s the best looking, but has no appeal for me. It’s . . . paint by numbers handsome.

  • One of the many things I love about Matt is that he always stands on the red carpet in a way calculated to showcase whatever he’s wearing. That’s a great suit and not a color he usually wears.

  • greymain

    amen uncles!

  • marlie

    Matt Bomer in that burgundy suit… SWOON. Parsons looks great too. Kitsch wouldn’t look half as bad if he’d only showered beforehand.

  • Qitkat

    The color of the suit is what makes this look. Well. That, and the head.
    Dancing happy faces x 1000.

  • Man Dala

    Matt Bomer I love you. But something went wrong with your suntan / bronzer / makeup. Still you’re perfect to me.

  • semirose

    Revisiting this post because I think it’s what made me spend the day thinking it was Friday (so rude brain, the realization it was Thursday is always harsher before a 3 day weekend). I hate to say it but Bomer’s face in that last photo is scaring me in a John Barrowman kind of way.

  • Cara Lo

    Is it just me or is Bomer looking a little…orange?

  • LadyVimes

    Sigh. Why is this the case? WHY? Does anyone know?

    For all their whinging about lacking ladies, most hetero-boys seem to have not figured out that snappy dressers often attract the most women. My hetero-guyfriends complain that they want girlfriends, but can’t find any women who are interested. I tell them that well-fitted button-downs, and nice jeans are the first steps towards attracting a True Love™.
    That and showering.

  • musi_

    I don’t like the shirts on Jim and Matt… is there something wrong with me?

  • DesertDweller79

    Matt Bomer is so gorgeous. Sigh.

  • t bell

    Whoever Jim Parsons is he looks like the kid on the playground we used to beat up just because he was there. The other two are fine even with, bronzer error, beer , and cigarettes.

  • demidaemon

    Well said.

  • fananafanafophalec

    Gay perfection. Only bad point is that, not sure if it’s just the photographs, but I actually think jim parsons’ shirt color is a little bit terrible

  • Sad really, because it wouldn’t take much for Taylor to bring his A game.He’s a good looking guy who can wear a suit if he wanted to.

  • Alloy Jane

    Straighty needs a haircut. And a shave. And an iron.

  • Fanofgoodart

    Taylor probably thought “if I’m going to be standing next to Matt Bomer, it’s better to look unkempt and like I’m noteven in the competition at all than to make an effort still look ordinary”..lol. Don’t blame him. Who can compete with Matt? He makes even the best men look lacking..

  • somebody blonde

    I think Jim Parsons should stay away from that shirt color. It makes him look kind of sickly.

  • traceyishere

    Parsons desperately needs an eye brow wax.