Eva Green in Dsquared2 at “Penny Dreadful” London Photo Call

Posted on May 13, 2014

Okay, Eva. You’ve picked the right dress for you. Now let’s move on to what else needs work here.

Eva-Green-Penny-Dreadful-Photo-Call-SAHD-London-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Eva Green attends a photocall for Sky Atlantic’s “Penny Dreadful” at St Pancras Renaissance Hotel in London, England in a Dsquared2 ruffled dress.

Eva-Green-Penny-Dreadful-Photo-Call-SAHD-London-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)

Eva-Green-Penny-Dreadful-Photo-Call-SAHD-London-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Eva-Green-Penny-Dreadful-Photo-Call-SAHD-London-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Eva-Green-Penny-Dreadful-Photo-Call-SAHD-London-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (5)

Eva-Green-Penny-Dreadful-Photo-Call-SAHD-London-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (6)

 

First: Your posing. NEVER curtsy on the red carpet. NEVER EVER. It’s almost as bad as finger guns and the praying-hands “Namaste” pose. Twirling is sometimes appropriate but only if you’ve got the skirt and the motor skills for it.

Second: The shoes are gorgeous. They really match the dress. Like, REALLY match it. We would have recommended a simpler shape and some color. An oxblood would’ve been great here.

Third: Your head. It’s just … off somehow, dear. The makeup never looks quite right and the hair’s a mess.

Fourth: Boob support. Girl, you want to let those puppies swing free, be our guest, but you tend to choose outfits with fitted bodices that pretty much require a decent amount of support for those wearers over a certain cup size. It puts a visible strain on the bodice, making it look like it’s going to tear away at any second.

But we reiterate: that’s a really great dress for you.

 

[Photo Credit: Tristan Fewings/Getty Images]

    • hmariec19

      Please tell me where to find those shoes. Kthx.

    • 8daysaweek

      Cute dress. Cute shoes. The head just made me think “Dreadful, indeed.”

    • NBG

      Great dress. I am “meh” on the shoes but the messy hair and lack of foundation garments has me frustrated. So close. This could have been awesome.

    • Karen Belgrad

      Does it remind anyone else of Gwyenth’s disastrous Heidi-ensemble at the Oscars in 2002?

      • HomeOfficeGirl

        Chicken cutlet? Yes. The color. Not nearly as disastrous here.

    • HomeOfficeGirl

      Hair and make up look demented. Can’t hardly notice anything else.

      • demidaemon

        Pretty much where I am at.

    • StelledelMare

      I feel like her eyes are shaped (kind of naturally sad looking if that makes sense) in such a way that makes it harder for her to get the makeup right, but it can be done.

      • JenniferA

        A good start would be to not have gobs of eyeliner under her eyes. I have droopy lids not unlike hers and this heroin-chic eye makeup is not our friend.

        • CT14

          When are the Brits going to stop it with the raccoon liner? It’s been a ‘trend’ there for at least a decade now.

          • xmixiex

            She’s French.

      • deelup

        Hooded eyes. I have them too. Pretty much makes eye make up a nightmare to get right. Typically this shape eyes always seem to get plastered with false eyelashes to sort of open them up and just cover the hood. On her it seems they always just ignore the top lash and hood entirely, slap on shit loads of under eye makeup, and I guess hope the heavy brow balances? But yeah, it doesn’t.

        • marlie

          That’s exactly my problem with her makeup. It seems like she needs to go even more intense with the top lash area and maybe lighten up on the bottom just in order to balance out the top and bottom.

      • gabbilevy

        She seems to prefer this under-eye look and I can’t for the life of me understand why… it doesn’t seem to suit her at all. She always looks so much better on screen.

    • Emily Smith

      She always has that look on her face of “I’m beautiful and I will fuck your shit up if you cross me”.

      • FridaStaire

        She is heiress to the kingdom of Beatrice Dalle!

    • FibonacciSequins

      She looks like she’s been crying. I think (hope) that’s due to a poor makeup job.

    • NMMagpie

      She’s got to be thinking: “Yes! And they’re SPECTACULAR!!”

      If she could just get the person who did her makeup in Casino Royale to do it all the time, it would be perfect.

      GREAT shoes.

      • FibonacciSequins

        She’s right, they are!

      • amanda siegelson

        you’re so right – i have ZERO problem with the boobular area here. and the shoes are freakin’ killer. the only thing letting down the side is the make-up, which is beyond awful.

      • holla

        yes, I agree on the make. She looks so good without the heavy bottom liner.

      • poorellensmith

        My first thought was actually, “holy shit, what a great rack!” I think they look hot as hell and I would wear them just like this if they were mine.

        • ccinnc

          Agree, her bosom looks AWESOME. I’m jealous.

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      SO much better than that @#$#$# jumpsuit. Love, love the dress. The shoes are quite cool. Would a more polished head worked better with this look?

    • Anna

      My kingdom for some colour!

      • VFinn

        YES! Preach it!

    • MilaXX

      I like this look. I can even let the super matchy shoes slide, because they are really nice shoes. I cannot, however, get past that head. The hair and makeup is weird. I’m not sure if she’s trying for a dark, gothy look to match the theme of the tv show, or what. Lastly, GET THEE A BRA!
      that is all.

      • demidaemon

        Weird isn’t the word I used (as I really had none that weren’t gibberish), but it seems appropriate.

    • mrspotts66

      i think her boobs look fabulous.
      love the dress.
      the hair? meh.
      the shoes? they’re okay. i don’t agree that oxblood would have been better here.
      i totally agree with the curtsying. no no no no no curtseying!

    • Kent Roby

      I’d be fine with the shoes being so matchy to the dress if she at least had a strong bright lip color. Also, I think she needs help with her eye makeup; perhaps adding a lot of smokiness to the upper lids would help balance her face. I do like her in this dress, though.

    • VFinn

      She’s SO beautiful, and at least in these recent photos, I don’t feel like that comes through. I like the dress and the shoes, but I’m not wowed by the overall look. That said, I thought the curtsy was cute. If she makes a habit of it, no — but once was okay with me!

    • Alyssa

      Oxblood shoes would have been perfect…I’m on the hunt for a pair of oxblood kitten heels myself. Her last few appearances make me think she needs new hair/makeup peeps. Love the dress.

    • Twix

      Absolutely gorgeous women who does everything in her power to hide it :(

    • Jessica Freeman

      That head…ruins the whole look. She has incredibly gorgeous eyes, but you don’t even notice them for all that shittery going on.

    • Danielle

      I am living for those shoes.

      • Sarah

        I am too. They are matcherriffic, but I thank her for wearing them so now I know they’re in the world.

    • DTLAFamilies

      I’m normally the first person to bitch about no bra but her rack is pretty spectacular and is holding up fine. Agree on the hair and makeup. Shoes work for me but a simpler shoe probably would be better.

    • Starts with K

      Girl that is not your eye makeup. Carefully wipe it off and hand the Kleenex to Kristen Stewart.
      And, sorry, but there is something about those shoes I really do not like.

    • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

      I love those shoes. Love them!

    • Tracy_Flick

      There’s only one HBC, and you’re not it.

    • teensmom99

      Shoes shoes shoes shoes–that’s right, there’s nothing else in my brain now.

    • TLJezebel

      What a tiny-ass waist! How does she have room for any internal organs?

      • demidaemon

        They have possibly been shoved up into her throat.

    • dmkava

      wouldn’t the curtsy align with her show, since it’s set in the Victorian era?

    • http://www.bertkeeter.com Bert Keeter

      Like the top. Like the bottom…just not together. The shoes .. with pants maybe .. with this dress…. awful!

    • B_C_J

      The dress is beautiful & her figure is amazing in it. She just needs to pump up the makeup, smooth out the hair & get a simpler shoe.

    • frannyprof

      Whatever’s happening with her eyeliner needs to stop.

    • YoungSally

      Barbie boobies

    • SewingSiren

      I love the dress on her, more than the shoes. Also likes the name of the show. But you said it was bad, right?

    • BlairBear

      I would have pegged that dress as Ellie Saab or Naem Khaan or maybe Tadashi Shoji. Kind of pleasantly surprised its dsquared

    • TropiCarla

      It surprises me how much I love the dress. I usually get too annoyed by the ‘nude for white-people only’ lining stuff. Those shoes are fantastic and I don’t mind the matchiness. I even support her in letting the girls hang — this once. Some days a girl just wants to wear dimmers and be done.

      But I have to say — I never love her head.

    • kimmeister

      Dress is a smidge too long. But, since it’s clearly not an easy dress to shorten, I think it would have looked better with sheer black hose and black pumps.

      The shoes are amazeballs, but not with that dress.

    • Melanie

      I like everything BUT the shoes.

      • yllas

        The shoes are grotesque (or should I say not appropriate for this outfit and maybe better elsewhere). I was surprised T&L loved them.

    • uprightcitizen

      I can get behind the shoes, because the appear to be suede, which is a bit unexpected. But the posing is insane, and the JBF hair is sad. The worst, though, is the eye makeup. So much lower lid mascara and liner it looks like her eyes are upside down, or she just emerged from a crying jag.

    • BLauD

      Her makeup and hair are always just awful. Someone who loves her needs to take that liner/mascara from her and never ever give it back.
      I love the shoes.

    • Jaeda Laurez

      She looks like that creepy kid, just all grown up. Love the dress. Hate the hair and the awful undereye makeup. Love the shoes, just not with that dress.

    • GillianHolroyd

      The shoes are way too casual and heavy (suede???) for that dress; needs an odd strappy black sandal.

      Her hair and eye makeup, it is always thus. She looked great in that mess, Kingdom of Heaven, when it suited her character.

    • KT

      Putting a visible strain on the bodice of dresses is just a fact of life when you have big boobs, bra or not. I honestly can’t tell whether or not she’s wearing a bra — but I don’t think the bodice/her boobs look bad at all.

      Good look for her, though agree the shoes should be different and the hair + makeup looks shitty.

    • kmk05

      Those shoes are an abomination with that dress. A requiem tiered cake dress needs shoes or sandals that are one colour. I think nude sandals here (or pointy sleek pumps) would have worked well.

      The hair is an unsalvageable mess, unfortunately. You are not Helena Bonham Carter.

    • EEKstl

      Oxblood shoes – good thought! Hair’s a mess and makeup looks like she stopped by the RC while on a walk of shame. She’s still so gorgeous tho.

    • hyperionic

      TLo always says do such and such if you want but if you do then you can’t do such and such. What sort of dresses is Ms Eva supposed to wear if she lets her puppies hang free? A muumuu?

      • holla

        she can wear the JLo green versace dress or the likes

      • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

        One that doesn’t have a bodice that fitted or a boat neckline.

        And T Lo always says that because we want to reiterate that we’re not imposing a rule on anyone. You can do whatever you want, but if you do it in this dress it’s not gonna look very good.

    • Jeremy Thomas Porta

      Her titties look amazing.

    • Shawn EH

      Is anyone ever going to talk her out of the Cleopatra eyes? It’s like asps can sense her presence and are closing in on every red carpet!

    • snarkykitten

      whatevs, I think her boobs look great in the dress. I like her look; I think it suits the subject of the premier. (which is odd, because HBC brand unkempt-ness usually drives me nuts)

    • MannahattaMamma

      I think those shoes are like the Hush Puppies from hell. Phtooey. Dress beautiful & I think the curtsey is a goof on the “let us see what you;re wearing…”

    • E.Nelson

      I think the oxblood suggestion was dead-on…other than that though I think she looks gorgeous. Yes, even the eyeliner and JBF hair. By virtue of being French, I suppose. I just think she looks VERY French here. I love.

      • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

        i think with the dreadful theme, we’d best be careful about suggestions involving blood…

    • Lori

      She’s beautiful, but she scares me a little. She always looks like she’s plotting how to kill you in a really unpleasant way. Which is why I wouldn’t tell her to her face that she needs a bra and a different hairdo, even though it’s true.

    • MarissaLG

      That is “next morning” makeup and it’s doing her NO favors.

    • enuma

      Diet Helena Bonham-Carter.

      • quiltrx

        I was *so* coming to comment “bargain basement HBC.” She doesn’t have the moxie to LIVE the look like HBC does.

    • Fuchsiaforever

      The shoes are cool but SO wrong for this dress.

    • amanda lynn

      Ooh girl, that makeup… why apply so much eyeliner at the bottom? You’re just giving yourself bags.

    • ShaoLinKitten

      Is this meant to be “themed” hair and make up? Her character in Penny Dreadful is a mysterious fortune teller, so maybe she is going for blowsy, witchy woman head?

      • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

        maybe she’s just going for dreadful.

    • smayper

      Name of the hotel read “St. Pancreas” to me. There should be such a saint. He would help us all detoxify.

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      to quote my blessed mother, “your hair looks like a rat’s nest!” also, about your eyebrows: their shape and placement are unusual and unique, but you don’t need to comb the hairs downward to accentuate that feature. everyone else has done a great job of raking your eyeliner over the coals (there’s a dreadful metaphor), so i’ll leave it alone.

      here’s a question for you grammar mavens. are unusual and unique redundant? i think almost but not quite.

      • Edie Rose

        I’d say more discrepant than redundant, because their meanings are *slightly* different: one of few vs one and only.
        Does that make sense?

        Also.
        Our moms clearly thought alike, although mine favoured birds’ nests :)

    • demidaemon

      That HAIR….aqhfdhqliwqhwqwaqwhfaqfdnwqilfwqfuihuiqfhnd. JESUS.

    • marlie

      I’m underwhelmed, overall. Her hair is a mess, but I really have a problem with her makeup. That severe eye makeup seems to be her “thing,” but I don’t think it’s all that flattering on her because the bottom of her makeup always looks over-emphasized compared to the top. The dress is just “meh,” but I really like the shoes.

    • Pound of Salt

      Her boobs look supported just fine. It’s just that narrow horizontal stripes like that are always going to make larger breasts look wonky

    • FridaStaire

      Oh no, TLo, I’ll give you the posing – terrible – but the messiness, free boob action is part of the whole sexy French actress schtick (JBF, of course), and no one pulls it off quite like Eva! Magnifique!

    • Milos Mom

      I loooooooooooooooooooooooooove this woman. She can do no wrong, even in those shoes. And her boobs look absolutely fantastic. Bad call TLO.

    • Mrs. O

      Nothing to add. But, wait! There’s always something to add! That hair! Did my 6 year old grandson do that for you? Because that’s EXACTLY the way he does mine when we play Beauty Parlor! And, can I get a shout-out for moi, a grandmother who encourages a six year old boy to play Beauty Parlor? Because, if he is blessed, he will have a loving partner someday, and she or he may need style help, and I want to be sure my little man can provide it.

    • smh4748

      Whenever I see her, I always think she’d be so pretty if she smiled. Usually, she looks some combination of sad and sinister.

      Also, I’m on Team Bra. With great boobage comes great responsibility, my dear.

    • quiltrx

      Well, you’ve done it, Eva Green. I could never, ever remember who you were, because you seemed to have a different ‘style’ in every picture I saw of you. Well now you’re the one with the excessive bottom eyeliner and badly-piled hair. At least you’re identifiable, I guess.

    • xmixiex

      A little harsh on her curtesy- I feel like something was said and she was being silly. It’s not really ‘posing.’ I dunno. And I think I’m the only one who likes her make up.