Nick Jonas at the 2014 Michael Jordan Celebrity Invitational Gala

Posted on April 07, 2014

We shouldn’t laugh, but…

Actually, we can’t figure out how to end that sentence, so…

Nick Jonas attends the 13th Annual Michael Jordan Celebrity Invitational gala in Las Vegas.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

Oh, SON. You are  TRYING SO HARD. We can feel how hard you’re trying. We haven’t seen that much overly-serious, cheeks-sucked-in posing since we were babygays in front of our bedroom mirrors, convincing ourselves we totally looked like … whoever it was we were desperate to look like that week. Simon Le Bon? Adam Ant? Michael Hutchence? It doesn’t matter. The point is, do these things privately, in front of your bedroom mirror, Nick. Also: don’t wear this outfit in public ever again.

Nice arms, though.

 

 

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: FPA/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES, PRN/PRPhotos.com]

    • RussellH88

      I don’t understand this.

      The pattern of the shirt and the pants are so separate that it cuts him into two oddly shaped pieces.

      I can’t figure it out.

      • ljh

        My (apparently Freudian-tinged) poorly executed speed-reading transformed your “separate” into “desperate….”

      • Lucía Gavello

        Shoes and pants belong to two different outfits, and I’m pretty sure that’s a blouse… I could rock that blouse, then again, my boobs are smaller.

    • Nikko Viquiera

      WHAT AM I LOOKING AT? I can’t. While I love huge arms on any man, I think the outfit is giving the illusion of bad proportions. If you’re gonna be a douchebag, might as well go all the way and take off the shirt. haha.

      • Anna

        The more I look, the more it’s reminding me of a gorilla. A hilariously awfully-dressed gorilla.

        • Nikko Viquiera

          So true!!!

        • Sarah

          Magilla Gorilla.

          • LadyCelia

            Needs a bowler hat to complete the look.

        • BlairBear

          I read depressed gorilla for a second and I think that also works. He looks awfully sad

          • Anna

            Ha! I’d be depressed too if I was wearing that shirt with those pants.

            • BlairBear

              haha I kind of like the shirt even if its pajama adjacent. and as much as i liked tightly wrapped thighs those pants are a terror

            • Anna

              Yes, if they fit better and weren’t worn together the individual pieces aren’t horribly offensive.

            • BlairBear

              I dont know I think the look would be better with nice jeans or nice bright colored pants to go with the fun of the shirt. Also nicer sneakers with laces please.

            • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

              Yes. Or even those sneakers, but please with laces.

            • Anna

              Ugh, those lace-less sneakers make my eyes twitch.

        • LuisaNL

          totally getting a Planet of the Apes vibe. Someone, please, do something!

        • Heather

          Indeed, there’s a bit of Popeye going on.

      • Jacob Bowen

        I was literally about to type, Boy Those Are Not Your Proportions.

        • Nikko Viquiera

          I have to say though, I think the angle of the camera used in the pictures isn’t helping either. Still, there should be a way to emphasize arms without making you look like Johnny Bravo 3D.

          • demidaemon

            That’s exactly who he looks like! Spot-on reference!

            • Nikko Viquiera

              Hahaha! Maybe he’s auditioning for the live action role? “Johnny Bravo Comes Out” or “Johnny Bravo Goes to Florida”

            • demidaemon

              “Johnny Bravo Come Out and Moves to Orlando”

            • KinoEye

              I would go to the midnight premiere of that movie. Take all my money!

      • Anya

        Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down

      • Aerialgreen

        but guuuuuu-uuuys, he is diabetic, by default we should ooh and aaah at him for so being ripped despite his condition… or so his desperation in this pictures seems to be screaming at us

    • Jackie Stewart

      I just can’t.

    • TAGinMO

      I guess I’ve been wrong all these years. A nice pair of arms can make up for almost anything.

      It’s not every day you see a guy who would actually look less ridiculous wearing a Speedo on the red carpet.

      • Trent

        Heh. Yeah, this outfit is horrible. Embarrassingly so. And yet…I never thought I would be having Inappropriate Thoughts about a Jonas Brother, but…(hangs head in shame)

      • Imasewsure

        With the goggles and the swim cap no less…. add flippers… what the heck… still improves the look as you say

      • R.A.

        Priceless. Thanks for the laugh.

    • Anna

      LMAO and Ew.

      • largishbearishAtlish

        took the work out of my mouth. Ewwwwww (wwwwwwww…wwwwwww…..wwwwww…wwww)

        wow.

    • JP

      His mommy let him dress himself. Bless.

    • sugarkane105

      I’m baffled. Are these photos distorted? He looks like a Funhouse version of himself. And what bothers me the most are the lace-free Converse, UGH.

    • NMMagpie

      All I see are puff sleeves. So wrong.

    • sablehunter

      This Jersey Shore nonsense is not a good look for him.

      • Kent Roby

        I didn’t see your message when I typed mine; but I think that we agree that “Jersey Shore” is not a good look for anyone.

        • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

          Especially for people living in New Jersey.

          • Kent Roby

            It’s such a shame that there are some people who assume that everyone from New Jersey looks like a Jersey Shore cast member, Governor Christie, or Joe Piscopo. I was born in Mississippi; when I lived in Chicago someone actually asked me if I was having trouble getting used to wearing shoes!

    • marlie

      So. Much. Douchebag. Also, that outfit is absurd.

    • E2_Remote

      Wha…? This is something my 4 year old niece would pick out as a Sunday brunch outfit.

    • Ginger

      This is a joke, right? Please tell me this is a joke. No? Ohhhhhhhhhhh………..ok.

    • Ashleigh

      You feel for it too—- the arms. This outfit is ALL ABOUT THE ARMS. And rightly so. The arms go a long way in this biz, or any biz, actually. But this outfit is just silly. He must have hired Joey Lawrences stylist!!

    • s k

      Looks like a ladies blouse circa 1948.

      • Ginger

        And that would be a good thing…if he was a woman and/or going for a Rosie the Riveter look. Actually, I’ll take that blouse, nip it in at the waist and rock the shit out of it!

        • Constant Reader

          Yes to your styling idea! That would look awesome.

        • marlie

          It would look FAAAR better on you, I just know it.

      • holla

        That was my first thought. My second thought was the puffy sleeves are great and I ought to pair it with a white skirt for afternoon tea with a gentleman caller!

    • hughman

      “Jimmy Olson works at OUT magazine. Calls everyone “Superman”.”

      • demidaemon

        SO RIGHT!

    • ChaCha_70

      SIMON LEBON!!! Sorry. The mere mention of his name brings me back to my 13 year old self.

      • SuzBald

        Simon along with Michael Hutchence and Prince Charming…..TLo nailed my teenage Holy Trinity.

    • MilaXX

      Trying to throw his best blue steel and only managing to look constipated.

      • Glam Dixie

        He took it to far and tried to use Magnum but it wasn’t ready yet!

    • alyce1213

      Boy gypsy in a bad costume.

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

      Kudos for the even spray tan.

      • Ginger

        Look at you finding something positive to say! GO ALICIA!

      • mellorcr

        Not really! His hands are white and you can see a line of demarcation at the wrist. Maybe that’s a golf tan and he was wearing gloves?

        • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

          I thought his hands were just slightly paler from having been shoved in his pockets.

    • Janet B

      Coordinates well with the background.

    • largishbearishAtlish

      but the ptoint was to get noticed…right? someone back me up here? right?

      I bet Joan Rivers could do 20 minutes on JUST this “outfit”…

    • Imasewsure

      So he isn’t the “cute” one, right? Wow glad I’m old

      • Janet B

        He used to be the cute one….

        • Eve Farren Farber

          None of them are cute.

          • http://batman-news.com boweryboy

            Joe is alright…in the right lighting…if you squinch your eyes… and tilt your head…

    • jen_vasm

      Dear Jonas Brother – Please burn your Zoolander DVD. That is all.

    • Sarah

      This is like the man version of boobs OR legs. Tight shirt OR pants, mister. Not both. In the words of Long Duck Dong, you look like an Oily Bohunk.

      • Ginger

        God bless you for squeezing a Sixteen Candles reference in on a fashion post.

        Now….”Long” *clap clap* “Wherreeee is my automobile?”

        • decormaven

          “Au-to-mo-bile? Au-to-mo-bile? Zoom! Crash! Big crash!”

          • blondie65

            “lake….big lake”

          • Ginger

            “Lake. BIG LAKE”

      • demidaemon

        The funny thing is, for being a tight shirt, you can see it blousing out where it is tucked into the pants. That would be a sign that those are not your pants, sir.

    • Jessica Freeman

      I feel like in this instance, it is ok to laugh.

    • LipstickForPigs

      Lollipop Guild. Represented.

      • MannahattaMamma

        BINGO!

    • Noah

      I’m almost positive my grandmother had that blouse.

    • MannahattaMamma

      seriously? he’s seriously wearing that and not laughing his own ass off at his own silly self? sheesh.

    • IMNAngryLiberal

      Oh my … just … oh my

    • Cathy S

      What IS that?

    • Kent Roby

      He looks like a new cast member for The Jersey Shore (and that is never a good thing).

    • Carleenml

      Those are the girliest sleeves ever. Puffy sleeves! sighed Anne of Green Gables.

    • Betsy

      I laughed outloud. He looks like a pumped-up Pee Wee Herman.

      • Kim Elmore

        BETSY FTW!!!

        • Betsy

          Ha! I mean, seriously? I could hear the Tequila song in my head while I was scrolling through the tragic photos!

    • http://www.wilde-travels.com/ Jacob Marek

      Arms be right and I like the shirt. But the pants are all wrong and SHAVE YOUR FACE, SON!

    • Danielle

      Straight outta Trenton.

      • stephbellard

        There is nothing “straight” about the Jonas Brothers.

    • Kent Roby

      Something positive….let’s see…Well, at least he wasn’t at the same event as January Jones; those two prints next to each other would induce seizures.

    • krelnick

      Mom’s pajama top, gampaw’s trousers…somebody lost a bet.

    • luludexter

      In addition to everything else wrong with this, my pet peeve: why don’t the boys wear belts anymore??

    • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

      Pee Wee Herman’s cousin, Billy Herman.

    • Sif

      I give him points for trying. The shirt and pants should be worn separately, but the color works.

    • bookish

      Puffed short sleeves? On a man?

    • Aidan B

      What is this new fuckery? I am disturbed on so many levels.

    • decormaven

      That’s a look? Seriously? Pull my other finger.

    • Vaniljekjeks

      I laughed. I’m too old/non-American to know who he is, but steriod arms, tight ugly outfit, and serious babyface don’t go well together. And that “beard” isn’t working for him yet.

      • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

        Hey, you don’t even know his beard. I’m sure she’s a very nice person…oh wait. You were talking about his face, right?

        • demidaemon

          HA! This is the one who isn’t dating anyone or married to anyone, right? I can’t keep them apart.

    • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

      Princess Puffy Sleeves on top, Nathan Detroit on the bottom.

    • WendyD

      Everything is bad, but I have to mention the shoes are the icing on the terrible cake. Stupid, stupid no laces shoes.

    • Miss wks

      guido

    • your face

      If you use the page up/page down keys to scroll through the pictures quickly, he dances! Thank you for the digital flipbook-appropriate posing, Nick.

    • Ron Zank

      He looks like one of the henchmen to the Penguin in the 60s Batman series. I can definitely imagine Burt Ward wrestling him to the ground and . . . oh, wait–where was I?

    • flamingoNW

      He needs to cock his head and stare dreamily at the camera and start a dance number w Doris Day or Cyd Charisse a la Gene Kelly in a get up like that

    • prisma

      The shirt looks like a 50s style housedress I have. Make it a little longer, belt it and voila: vintage grandma chic.

    • ThaliaMenninger

      Oh, dear.

    • KinoEye

      Laughing is not only acceptable in this instance, but encouraged. Why else would Nick go to an event to be photographed dressed like this? I’m going to crib and alter a line from Goodfellas: “Whoever chose that look had a wonderful sense of humor.”

    • Glam Dixie

      He’s in a bad Situation.

    • Lilah

      Dying!

    • Latin Buddy

      Yes, he is ruining this shirt by the posing BUT TLo, who made this shirt?!

    • crash1212

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Also, something is amok with his bronzer.

    • http://sleepingfoxstitchery.weebly.com CLoverleaf

      Is he wearing puffy sleeves???

    • Anglow

      It is hard to believe that anyone who cares about this young man would let him appear anywhere with this awful outfit on.

    • E.Nelson

      I’m not a fan of dress pants and a tucked in shirt with no belt.

      Since Nick here is actually wearing a cap sleeve BLOUSE though, I’ll allow it.

    • Constant Reader

      Either he looks like he’s a boy in a movie musical who is wearing his only two clean pieces of clothes to the laundromat where he will perform a big dance number about how he is GOING PLACES with his life, or I watch too many old movies. It could go either way…

    • Sara Hottman

      Holy guido.

    • http://batman-news.com boweryboy

      oh my.

    • Wink

      Nice guns. I’m sure he is he auditioning for the lead in a Gene Kelly biopic. Or is it Mark Wahlberg’s life story?

      • quiltrx

        Too vacant and talentless to be Kelly, must be Wahlberg ;)

    • random_poster

      He needs a cape, a matador hat, and a bull to complete the look.

    • Tee

      Lucy Ricardo called and she wants her blouse back.

    • Tee

      Back in the day that would have been a dream concert with Duran Duran, Adam Ant and INXS on the same bill. At least I was lucky enough to see all of those bands in their prime.

    • TigerLaverada

      Is this a non-ironic appearance? Not that I see any inherent irony, it’s just hard to believe anybody would appear in public actually thinking this is a good look. Also, Sansabelt slacks!

    • Louise de Teliga

      Holy Cow…does he even have a mirror?

    • lalahartma

      LOL!

    • Just Me

      oh, Uncles…either I have been with you too long or you really are my Uncles. I got to this outfit and laughed out loud. I think there was even a snort or two. Oh, good gracious…somebody sit that boy down. Now.

    • The Versatile Chef

      “Young man, you are NOT leaving the house dressed like that. You march yourself upstairs RIGHT NOW and find something else to wear.”

    • Carriganak

      With every new picture in this set I looked at, the volume and despair increased in each “No” that left my mouth. This is such a disaster.

    • caroline

      Woof. Just woof.

    • demidaemon

      Those are some high-waisted pants. I don’t know. It looks like a coming out outfit for a high school nerd (and I say this as someone who was considered a nerd in high school).

    • @Biting Panda

      Oh shit. I needed this. This little douche is comedy gold.

    • somebody blonde

      He looks like a backup dancer from a Billy Joel music video.

    • SorayaS

      What is going ON here?? Not only hilarious but hilariously bad.

    • Columbinia

      Not only a worst, but so humiliating. It’s a girl’s blouse paired with disco pants and sneaker plus lessons for how to pose for a department store catalogue. And he’s got the body of a “Jersey Shore” gym rat.

    • Trickytrisha

      I just… can’t.

    • kimmeister

      He’s looking like a roided out PeeWee Herman.

    • http://armchairauthor.wordpress.com/ LesYeuxHiboux

      “There isn’t a tighter shirt. I checked.” Somebody’s skipped leg day a few too many times, or the camera angle is giving him Magilla Gorilla proportions. He needs to throw this whole outfit into a DeLorean and send it to Biff Tannen (the shirt for Young Biff, the pants for Old.) Just burn the sneakers.

    • quiltrx

      LMAO he looks like the stereotypical muscle-head bodyguard in a B-grade 40s Noir!

      • Brent Wolgamott

        And this is bad…..? :-D

        • quiltrx

          LOL, considering they’re usually dumb as dirt and at least a criminal (if not THE criminal) of the story, yeah, in my mind it’s bad. :)
          And you have to have a face like Mike Mazurki or Lawrence Tierney to pull it off…not a face like (gigglesnort) Nick Jonas!

    • http://www.momforless.com/ Crystal

      Why is he wearing a woman’s shirt? It’s like when Michael Scott accidentally wore a woman’s suit on The Office. Only worse.

    • macwell

      I think his arms succeeded where his fashion didn’t…;)

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      What fresh hell is this?

    • ed

      Uncles, whatever happened to belts?? Not that a belt would save this look, but none of the guys are wearing them.

    • Tigerfly

      That last shot makes me snort and laugh uncontrollably every time I look at it. It’s amazing. Maybe he did it for all the the sad people.
      Nick Jonas, Humanitarian.

    • Daktari100

      You gotta feel awfully good about yourself, your body, and how you look to leave the house dressed like that. To that, I say, “Good for him!” (I’m also laughing a little too.)