Taylor Schilling in Theory at the 2014 PaleyFest “Orange is the New Black” Event

Posted on March 18, 2014

Taylor. Girl.

In terms of styling yourself to look good for the cameras, you were born with a difficulty setting of zero. You’re a thin, pretty, blue-eyed blonde. The entire fashion, celebrity and beauty product industries bow down to you and start with the assumption that everyone either does or should look just like you.

In other words, there’s no excuse, dear.

 

Taylor Schilling attends the 2014 PaleyFest “Orange is the New Black” event at the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood, California in a Theory dress.

 

WE DUB THEE LACKLUSTER. NO EFFORT. NO POINTS AWARDED.

Go home. Flip through some fashion magazines for a while. See if anything sticks.

Granted, next to Shailene, she’s practically Princess Grace.

 

 

[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PRPhotos.com]

    • Sarah

      I think her hair looks pretty good compared to other times. She needs brighter make-up, some jewelry, and maybe a kicky jacket in a bright color. Especially since that would cover up the bra strap.

      • EveEve

        She needs a warmer shade of blonde, with or without the roots showing.

        • heartbot

          Also conditioner.

        • liberalteapot

          the roots are a character thing.

    • Carrie

      Lazy lady stars make me sad.

      She doesn’t make me as sad as Shailene, but sad enough. I love it when they put in the effort at Paley. It tells me they appreciate their fan base at least a little, and are treating it as more than a mere contractual obligation.

    • Morales Mike

      Her, Malin Akerman and Amy Poehler should play sisters in something.

      • Rhonda Shore

        yes, especially with Malin Akerman!

      • charlotte

        You can add Katy Perry and Teri Polo.

      • kimmeister

        I see Amy Poehler, but I’m also seeing a little bit of Diane Kruger in that 4th shot down.

    • Anna

      Is office wear the thing in Hollywood right now? First Scarlett, then Cobie and now Taylor. I get the impression that if you look in her car, you’ll find her office-appropriate cardigan and tote bag with all her TPS Reports.

      But yeah, I’d probably be ecstatic if Shailene had worn this.

      • Rhonda Shore

        this looks like old, lost its shape through too many wearings, officewear. There’s no excuse!!!

      • KinoEye

        Anna, we need to talk about your TPS reports. Did you get that memo?

        • Anna

          LOL, bless you! I needed that laugh. Been dealing with very TPS reports-esque shit at work today.

          • KinoEye

            Sounds like someone’s got a case of the Mondays. I sincerely hope you’ve got a better boss than Lumberg. If your boss is male, I pray he doesn’t match his ties to his suspenders, and also wear an unnecessary belt. I’ve always loved that particular bit of movie costuming. It tips you off that he’s a massive douche right away.

            • Anna

              My actual supervisor is pretty hands-off, and I get to work independently for the most part. But I’m working with another department on a project that has a Lumbergh-type on it, and they also cannot explain what they need clearly. I wasted an hour re-typing and reprinting the same document half a dozen times.

              On a funnier note, I actually found a birthday card (complete with sound effects) that had Lumbergh with his stupid expression/holding his coffee cup and when you opened the card, it went, “Um yeah, I’m gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Saturday.”

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/TheOctocornNetwork International Model

      Calabasas Soccer Mom attending an awards banquet at the Olive Garden.

    • KingCrazy

      I dunno. It’s kind of basic, but I think she looks cute overall. Some accessories would have helped, but at least her head looks cute!

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      This is ridiculous, I know damn well she has a waist – no matter how much that dress wants to conceal it.

    • barbarienne

      Jewelry? Accessories? Hair that does more than hang off your head?

      I like the dress and its a good length and proportion for her, though something is off in the shoulders, like maybe the arm holes are a skitch too big. But it’s also a big yawn with the fabric. Perhaps it could be dressed up, but it would require someone who knows how to deploy accessories very well.

    • Josefina Madariaga Suárez

      Maybe if we yell at her for enough time, she’ll come around like January Jones once did.

      So yeah, this is pretty much unforgivable. Go home, Taylor, and come back when you’re willing to put more effort.

    • abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxqyz

      THE BRA STRAP.

      • 3boysful

        Can we give her points for wearing one?

        • SugarSnap108

          No. Points systems shouldn’t be so lenient ;)

          • 3boysful

            *SMACK* You are so right!

    • @Biting Panda

      People. What. The. Fuck. Get fancy or get gone.

      • Danielle

        My new life motto.

      • anotherkate

        Can I get that on a t-shirt? (Alternatively: I might actually put that on my wedding invites under “dress code”).

        • @Biting Panda

          That would be hilarious. I assume your folks share your humor. Do let us know, if you do.

    • Grumpy Girl

      I kind of like the dress, but I think the skirt needs to be a little longer proportionally. And beyond that, I agree with the poster who suggested a bright cute jacket, jewelry and lipstick of color.

    • Judy_J

      Oy, vey. Looks like someone forgot to put this on her calendar.

    • Adrienne

      So this is a Theory dress? Maybe it should have been a “looks good in Theory” but not in actuality?

    • alyce1213

      This is no less effort than Kate Winslet’s dress/hair at the sidewalk thing, but then again, she’s not Kate Winslet. She’s in a top show, she needs to do better.
      A few changes would have stepped this up: fit, hair, lipstick, accessories. It’s not a bad dress, but it looks like she just put it on and ran out of the house.

      • marlie

        I think Kate needed to step it up a notch too, BUT she’s also a very well-established, lauded star, who has sort of won the right to wear whatever the hell she wants (in the same vein as Emma Thompson). Taylor here hasn’t achieved that level of success yet, to be allowed to “Pull an Emma” or “Pull a Jolie.”

        • alyce1213

          Exactly

    • MilaXX

      Is today lack of effort day? Can we get some pretty, some fierce? Where my drag queens at? We need a Drag Race post as a palette cleanser for all these pretty people wearing average clothing today.

      • barbarienne

        Seriously. Surely Lupita walked out her front door at some point in the last couple of days? Even if she was in a housedress and slippers stepping out to pick up the newspaper, she’d look better than most of what’s been served up today.

        • KinoEye

          I’d pay money to watch Lupita step out to get her newspaper. Or take out her trash. I’m sure she would imbue it with such grace and dignity that all who were present would applaud, and bow down.

          • kimmeister

            I’ll bet the newspaper jumps willingly into her hands, and her trash knows enough to remove itself from her presence of its own volition.

            • KinoEye

              It’s probably like when you try to put two magnets together at the wrong end. It just shoots away from her at the same speed she’s moving.

      • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

        I’d almost welcome Gaga at this point.

    • SugarSnap108

      I guess “PaleyFest” is synonymous with “Day Off” for these people.

      • decormaven

        Sort of like Casual Friday or Jeans Day. Harumph!

      • Carrie

        Which is a pity, because there are lady stars who do bring it there. I have high hopes for Nina Doborev on Saturday for the Vampire Diaries panel.

    • JR Labrador

      Marcia, Marcia, Marcia.

    • Jacob Bowen

      Get cute shoes and some jewelry! It’s the LEAST you could have done to make this semi-interesting!

    • mjude

      what is with the hair?

    • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

      Well, the shoes are nice. Everything above the ankles has to go.

    • kmk05

      CONSUMPTION FACE. It is not your friend. Neither is a visible bra strap or Minnie Mouse-like pumps.

    • Lori

      She is not good at this and really ought to hire a professional to help her.

    • Denise Alden

      “In terms of styling yourself to look good for the cameras, you were born
      with a difficulty setting of zero. You’re a thin, pretty, blue-eyed
      blonde. The entire fashion, celebrity and beauty product industries bow
      down to you and start with the assumption that everyone either does or
      should look just like you.” So, so true. And reading this from you two dears NEVER gets old!

    • LeelaST

      Don’t mind the meh dress – sans exposed bra strap of course – but if my hair looked like that I’d fire my stylist.

    • SewingSiren

      Needs bobbie pins.

      • Rand Ortega

        She could certainly borrow some from Emma Watson, amirite?

    • CatherineRhodes

      Pulling a Jolie.

    • KinoEye

      Meh. This doesn’t look like an up-and-comer who just finished the second season of an almost universally-acclaimed show. This looks like some auxiliary actress on a show that’s been on for years and just doesn’t care anymore.

    • marlie

      This is a “run to one of the anchor stores in your local mall and grab a dress ASAP” look. The shoes are too boring with this look, and her makeup too pale. And that’s DIY hair. Honey, hire a stylist.

      • kimmeister

        Unfortunately, I think the heels on the shoes are the most interesting thing about this whole look.

    • sagecreek

      Oh, that’s prison hair, lightened with the juice of a 1000 lemons painstakingly smuggled out of the canteen.

    • Tanya Wade

      Oh hunty, no. Visible bra strap and jute-like fabric. But still, light years ahead of Shailene.

    • teensmom99

      Hate to contradict my uncles but looking at those roots, I don’t think she was born blonde.

    • Imasewsure

      When I looked at the snap shot I thought, Wow Amy Poehler looks cute (and drunk). This young lady also looks cute but office party cute, not Paleyfest cute

    • Trickytrisha

      You shouldn’t let your Aunty Tilly choose your clothing, dear.

    • Danielle West

      Judging from those roots, don’t think she’s a blonde!

    • Gatto Nero

      Colorless, shapeless dress, bra strap showing. Indifferent hair and makeup.
      C’mon, girl.

    • Daisy Buchanan

      Dear Uncles, please take this for what it is worth. I’m so sad over the death of L’Wren but even more so, because people are failing to honor her as an artist – designer – stylist. I know it is asking you guys to go into a dark space but I just wish someone out there would respect who she was beyond “Mick Jagger’s girlfriend.”

    • kategs

      For a second there, I saw Taylor S and thought Swift and thought what on earth did she do to herself! I am losing it today…

    • kerryev

      Even if we don’t get why, she is clearly enjoying this dress.

    • kt

      She looks on point for the event

    • Meg0GayGuys6

      I always read these as “Taylor Schilling in theory” as in, “She’s not really *here…”

    • JynxTheCat

      She looks high as fuck. GO head girl! but yeah…My nieces out way more effort into a school dance with much better result. LOOKING FORWARD TO NEW EPISODES THOUGH!

    • Sally Spannagle

      With a punchy lipcolor and some jewelry, this may be salvageable