RuPaul’s Drag Race: Bite That Pillow, Party Girl!

Posted on March 04, 2014

Last week’s opener felt a bit underwhelming and unfinished because we hadn’t met the entire gaggle of queens yet. But we have to admit, splitting the opener up like this really worked in the second half because these bitches came into the game knowing that someone else already left it. That lit a fire under their asses.

 

It’s also possible that this was just a better, more fun group of queens than last week, although time will tell on that front. We wonder if they’ll be kept in teams of two like this for a while. We suspect there’ll be a season-long rivalry between the two groups whether they do or not.

 

We’re tired from Oscars coverage and book promoting so:

Gratuitous. Like you care.

 

Bianca Del Rio

We thought Bianca nailed this one.

 

Trinity K. Bonet

But Ru gave it to Trinity for some reason.

 

Joslyn Fox

Sucks.

 

Courtney Act

We might even have given it to Courtney over Trinity.
 

Magnolia Crawford

Awful.
 

Milk

She’s a piece of work, we’ll give her that. Cute boy, too.
 

Darienne Lake

Funny, but a little too “on” at all times. We realize that’s a silly thing to say about a drag queen, but in reality TV you have to at least give the illusion of realness now and then. And no reality TV competition understands that better than this one.

 

She is giving us Dominique Deveraux realness and we are HERE for it.

 

Uhh…okay.

We’ll give her points for creativity and thinking outside her box, but she seems kind of vacant. Tyra Sanchez 2.0.

 

Clearly a leading contender, but there’s no way in hell we’re not going to hate an insult comic who never takes a break from being an insult comic before this season is over. She’s fun, but the schtick is relentless. We can’t imagine these bitches don’t all turn on her by episode 6 or so.

Great look. Clearly deserved the win over these janky bitches. Agree that her eye makeup is a little on the scary side. Another cute boy.

 

Her makeup skills are world class, but this is Gay Bingo Night drag. Step it up, bitch.

 

Hot and sour mess. Not worth the time. Nose looks like the one burnt potato chip you find in every bag.
 

Seems kind of clueless, but we suspect there’s a big ol’ bitch inside there. This outfit was a hot glue disaster.
 

Y’know… we’re just gonna say it: Everyone (including herself) went on about how she was serving up body and we kept thinking “Yeah. The body of a thin young man.” Which is fine if you want to do genderfuck, but she’s billing herself as a glamour girl and body queen and and we don’t think she looks remotely fishy in getups like this. Put her in a dress and she’s golden, though. But she’s no Carmen Carrera, who could rock the fishiness naked.

And this costume was really bad. Supposedly she had the body to carry it off and that’s why she was safe.
 

We always think club queen drag never translates outside of a club. We get what she was going for here, but we thought the judges were being awfully kind and lenient about it. Still, she’s got some real style to her.

 

So congrats to Bianca. You’re adorable. Here’s hoping you learn when to shut up.

 

The lip synch came down to Darienne’s secretarial drag and Potato Chip Nose’s eerie impersonation of a blowup sex doll.

 

Potato Chip went home and all is right with our world. She was a nasty ho.

 

 

 

[Screencaps: tomandlorenzo.com]

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