Oscars 2014 Red Carpet Rundown – Part 1

Posted on March 04, 2014

Let’s go, attention whores! Line up for judgment! We don’t have all day, so we’re gonna do this factory-style! Line ’em up, knock ’em down, move ’em out! That’s what we always say! Except we have no issue with saying words that start with th!

Okay, look! We seem to have gone a bit afield! Our point is, we have no time for niceties!



Channing Tatum (in Gucci) and Jenna Dewan-Tatum (in Reem Acra)

Managing the trick of looking like a glamorous couple and a cute one at the same time. We’ve seen her dress plenty of times before from various designers, but it’s fine by us. Color would have been welcome, but we’re too dazzled by her earrings to complain.



Joseph Gordon-Levitt in Calvin Klein

Adorable. Although we do wonder sometimes if he can move his eyebrows at all. Love the unconventional tux.



Goldie Hawn (in Versace) and Kurt Russell

 We’re surprised at how perfectly polished and fitted he is. Granted, he’s been a movie star his entire life and knows how the game is played, but we kinda got the impression he was done playing the game. Her dress is fine, although we don’t like the sleeve-thingies. At Goldie’s age, why would you want a drooping design element like that next to your boobs? It gives the illusion that she’s droopy, when in fact, her bod’s in enviable shape. She desperately needs a more modern haircut, though.



Julie Delpy in Jenny Packham

Shapeless and colorless. Bored now.



Olivia Wilde (in Valentino) and Jason Sudeikis (in Prada)

We thought she won the pregnancy style awards. Granted, there doesn’t seem to have been much competition and all she had to do was dress slightly better than Kerry Washington and her sateen sheets, but she really looks glamorous and gorgeous here. He’s looking pretty good too. Loving the tux and the grooming.



Glenn Close in Zac Posen

 WAY too severe. She doesn’t know how to do soft to save her life.



Anna Kendrick in J. Mendel

Our pick for worst of the night. While we don’t want to discourage anyone from pushing the Oscars style envelope a little, this was just too tricky for the night.



Jessica Biel in Chanel Couture

 Yawning now.



Will Forte

That stubble is inexcusable.



Liza Minnelli in Vintage Halston

 The blue streak was a cute touch. And we can always get behind the idea of Liza in Halston, but this is clearly too large on her and makes her look like she’s melting, Wicked Witch-style (ironically enough).



Kevin Spacey in Burberry

 Gorgeous. So digging the midnight blue tux trend. Pants need a slight hemming, though.



Michael B. Jordan in Givenchy

Those shoes are insane and we LOVE them. We’re not, however, sure this was the time and place for them. They really don’t seem to go with a (semi-)conventional tuxedo. Love the jacket but he needs to undo one button.



Kristen Bell in Roberto Cavalli

We thought this was pretty at first, but the longer we look at it, the more we think it looks like it’s made out of lint trap pullings.



Chris Hemsworth in David August

 Gorgeous. Loving the color, the vest, and the grooming. Bravo, Thor.



Lady Gaga in Atelier Versace

 It’s a great dress. Not as in love with the drag scarf as much as we thought we’d be. And her schtick looks somehow gratifyingly affected and out of place on the Oscars red carpet. No one cares, Steffi.



Sarah Paulson in Elie Saab

 Enh. So basic. And “tea-stained” should never be your color story on the Oscars red carpet.







[Photo Credit: INFphoto.com, Jennifer Graylock/INFphoto.com, Peter West/ACE/INFphoto.com]


And if you’re loving our Oscars red carpet bitchery, you might consider checking out our new book, darling! “A hilarious critique of celebrity culture,” they called it! We’re proud. And shameless. 


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  • RussellH88

    Just so everyone knows, Kristen Bell had a burrito in her purse at the Oscars.

    I love Michael B Jordan’s shoes and I want to steal them.

    • EveEve

      A burrito in her purse? Is that a new euphemism for being knocked up?

      • RussellH88

        Apparently she kept a foil wrapped burrito in her purse, at least according to Instagram.

        • DTLAFamilies

          But then they ordered pizza so she ate that instead.

          • Nicholas

            Why choose?

        • FrigidDiva

          That is awesome. None of them ever eat during awards season so they can fit into these dresses. I’d be hoarding snacks in my bag too–especially during such a LONG show.

          • ScarlettHarlot

            There was one Oscars when Rhea Pearlman was called out by the host for passing snacks to Danny DeVito. I can’t remember more specifics, but I thought it was adorable. I think it was raw carrots or a granola bar or some such item.

          • Their divorce was one celebrity break-up I genuinely regret. They were so cute for so long!

          • Right? I’ll be devastated if Goldie and Kurt ever break up.

          • Remember when Goldie was older than Kurt?

          • AnaRoW

            I’m pretty sure they got back together.

          • MoHub

            Yes, they did. At least the last time I heard.

          • ScarlettHarlot

            I love Danny, but I’m pretty sure he could never do better than Rhea. Even if that opinion is largely colored by his character’s behavior on It’s Always Sunny.

          • Really? Oh that’s lovely!

            Now I want Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins back together.

          • Wendi126

            I don’t think they divorced and read they are back together.

        • Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

          I’m sort of in love with her now.

      • Gatto Nero

        It is now.

      • Big Bear

        If it isn’t, it should be.

    • JauntyJohn

      I’ll fight you for those shoes — but I wish the pants were hemmed higher, so they didn’t scrunch down onto the shoes. The shoes pull your eye so powerfully that it made the pants look very badly fitted, which, given his track record of great dressing, is a miss.

      • Jacob Bowen

        And when you take those shoes I will fight YOU for them…they are killer.

  • eowyn_of_rohan

    Siiiigh….Kevin Spacey. Can we get him to host this shindig next year?

    • I’ll sign on for that! He seems to have the right combination of skepticism and gravitas, plus of course Hollywood cred. And he cleans up well!

      • eowyn_of_rohan

        And he does AMAZING impressions. If he did the whole thing in character as Christopher Walken it would be the Best Oscars EVER.

        • Leah Elzinga

          Kevin Spacey and Christopher Walken COHOSTING THE OSCARS. IMAGINE IT.

          • girliecue

            If that ever happened I probably wouldn’t even notice what anyone was wearing that night. Someone PLEASE MAKE IT HAPPEN!

          • Call me Bee

            If they were both wearing velvet smoking jackets with cigs and martinis.

    • Sobaika

      I was ROLLING when Spacey handed Ellen some cash.

    • Jessica Freeman

      Yes! Please! I love him so hard.

    • ScarlettHarlot

      As long as he does some of it in his Frank Underwood drawl again. That was too good!

    • lunchcoma

      I’m on board with that. His interviews were more entertaining than half of Ellen’s material.

    • Mismarker

      Cosign. He would be amazing.

    • WendyD

      He was on the Kimmel post-Oscars show doing his Johnny Carson impressions and Jimmy was all “have you ever thought of hosting? would you do it if you were asked?” and Kevin was completely down with that, he seemed like he’d jump at the chance! That would be fantastic! Has an Oscar winner ever hosted the show? A Two-time winner at that?

      • ScarlettHarlot

        Plus he can sing, which could make for some fun bits.

      • lunchcoma

        Loads of past winners have hosted (Jimmy Stewart, Liza Minelli, Whoopi Goldberg), including some two time ones (Jane Fonda, Lawrence Olivier). But I agree that Spacey would be fabulous in the role.

    • NinjaCate

      If he does the whole thing as Frank Underwood, then HELL YES.

  • kmk05

    All this nude is boring. I disagree with your Michael B assessment, this night was the perfect place to bust out those shoes! They call back to his earrings.

  • MartyBellerMask

    Kevin Spacey. Best of the best.

  • Sarah

    Hemsworth looks like a fancy waiter, sorry. Michael B Jordan’s (bless him) feet look like he is a doll that has been bolted to his display case to keep him standing. Kevin Spacey scares the crap outta me (cuz of HOC) so I’m glad to see him smiling sweetly, and I totes agree on Anna Kendrick’s dress. I thought it was pretty ugly. I would also love Julie Delpy’s dress, if only it was in a color. ANY COLOR.

    • marlie

      Julie Delphy’s dress could have used some color, but it also seemed too shapeless and matronly on her.

      • Sarah

        I think the radiating sparkly lines on it would be flattering, if there was more contrast underneath, but I see what you mean.

      • Mismarker

        Her dress looked like it was lifted straight out of Cybill Shepherd’s “Moonlighting” wardrobe. Cybill wore it better.

      • sundaynightaddict

        Her dress looked pretty when she had her hands on her hips like in the picture above, but when her arms were down, it made the dress look shapeless and unflattering.

        • littlemac8

          I agree. Some of the still pictures of her in those hands on her hips poses framed her face beautifully.

    • Kristin McNamara

      Yea, I thought Hemsworth looked more like a valet, but waiter works too.

  • rkdgal

    Leave it to Thor to show us what a good hem’s worth! (Rimshot. Sorry. I’ll just show myself out now.)

    • Nicholas

      This is the Sistine Chapel of jokes by the standard set by Sunday’s show.

      At this point, you’re being headhunted to host the next awards by the Oscar mafia. I hope you have representation.

      • demidaemon

        So sad. So true.

    • AudreysMom

      I was going to say something about how all the middle aged women at my Oscar party (that would be all in attendance) melted when he spoke. Never mind. This joke is a way better memory of Thor last Sunday.

  • Paigealicious

    I actually really, really like Gaga’s dress…and it mostly covers her hobbling footwear!

    • SierraDelta

      She reminded me of Eleanor Parker with the hair and scarf.

  • Gaga has a white version of those awful black stilts! Nooooooo! Who got her a second pair????

    Anyway! That Chris Hemsworth, eh? Mmm, hmm! Those two dark spots on his forehead kind of look like devil horns. Goes with the suit. Yes, ma’am.

  • shirab

    Liza, a bra? Please?

    • Nancer

      Finally! I was beginning to think I was the only person bothered by this!

    • wisdomy

      That was my second thought. My first was “Hey, Liza Minelli and I have the exact same pajamas!” and my third was “Oh my god, she walked there and forgot a change of shoes!”

      • KateShouldBeWorking

        Maybe it’s for the vertigo?

        • shirab

          To be fair, I think it’s been mentioned elsewhere that she had hip replacements. No need to jeopardize your PT success by wearing dangerous shoes.

          • marlie

            That may explain the shoes (and maybe the dazed expression), but not the pajamas, nor the lack of a bra.

        • ScarlettHarlot

          Ha! “A table could stand on those legs!”

          • ScarlettHarlot

            (Before anyone gets upset, that’s an Arrested Development quote about her character’s dizzy spells.)

          • littlemac8

            My favorite episodes of Arrested Development featured her. She and Buster made quite the duo!

      • Farthingale

        Rocking “Rockports”.

    • MoHub

      My first thought as well. That and less facial stretching.

      • 3boysful

        And doesn’t she look so different without the outrageous false lashes? I’ve never seen her in public bare-eyed, as it were.

        The shoes made me sad–she was great in concert and she could dance.

        • MoHub

          Had there been no label, I’m not sure I’d have known it was Liza.

    • Farthingale

      And other various shape-wear.

    • DuBey2

      Yes — that would’ve made this so much better. Because I truly liked her makeup (& cute blue streak) better than those spikey eye lashes she used to wear for years. She looked better than I would’ve expected. And didn’t seem to get huffy (as some fans did) about Pink doing “Over the Rainbow”. I, BTW, loved Pink’s version & will buy it if its on Itunes.

    • sundaynightaddict

      I’m pretty sure you can actually see the outline of her areolae. I’ve got big cans and I *totally*get wanting to be comfortable, but there are occasions where you just have to suck it up and wear a bra.

    • littlemac8

      I know all we older gals look forward to that time of the days when we can strip off our bras and relax. But just shoot me if I ever attempt to go out of the house braless in satin pajamas, never mind she’s going to the Oscars. Loved the little blue strip in her hair. It was playful and fun unlike her boobs which were looking at her feet and refusing to make eye contact!

    • The Versatile Chef

      That was way more of Liza than I wanted to see.

      • Sue Shea

        i know. i had to look away.

    • Sue Shea

      OMG! liza, a bra please!!!

  • Fisher&SonsFuneralHome

    Olivia Wilde had the nipples or darts? issue Anne Hathaway had last year. Love Jenna Dewan Tatum’s dress.

    • marlie

      Sort of. The only difference was that Annie’s bust didn’t fill in the bodice, so it looked even weirder. Olivia’s is filling in the bust a little too much, AND the darts are too high, creating a slightly different problem.

  • StelledelMare

    There were way too many pale, colorless dresses on this year’s carpet and I didn’t like that at all.

    • marlie

      At one point, Seacrest interviewed 4 women in a row in the same/similar non-color. Biel, Sally Hawkins, Sarah Paulson, and Cate Blanchett. Zzzzzz.

      • littlemac8

        Here’s what I imagine: all those dull as dishwater dresses look beautiful in person but don’t photograph well. Otherwise it’s hard to understand what they’re going for. But you’d think after a few awards shows featuring those colorless, drab, washed out photographs the stars would get the hint. Especially after they’re dissed in the press. I guess not.

    • ScarlettHarlot

      This year was lacking in drama, and also someone in a truly batshit crazy get up. A Bjork, a Bjork, my kingdom for a Bjork!

      • Are you OK? You seem to be turning into the Swedish Chef. 😉

        • ScarlettHarlot

          Hurdy gurdy gurdy!

      • marlie

        If Anna Kendrick’s dress was truly the worst of the night, then everyone did indeed play it safe, because hers wasn’t even *that* bad.

        • random_poster

          I would have handed the worst to Julie Delpy. That dress is awful.

          • marlie

            I wouldn’t argue with you there. But compared to the “Seriously, WTF” atrocities we’ve seen in the past, Julie’s isn’t THAT bad. Put that dress on a different – maybe slightly older lady), and it might work.

    • Farthingale

      And too many that read “wedding” to me. I was mightily put off by Juliana Rancic’s whole get-up. It was EXTREMELY bridal, and her styling put it over the top. I had the feeling it was the dress she WISHED she had worn to her wedding and it was a redo of her big day.

      To see all that tulle insanity stuffed under the commentator’s desk was ridic.

  • EveEve

    This may be the first and last time that the men did better than the women on the red carpet. The women, in general were styled much too safely, even by Oscar standards. Gotta shout it out to Kurt Russell – he was certainly WITFU.

  • Missy

    Anna Kendrick=Christmas dress. Love her, but there’s a time and a place and this wasn’t it.

    • 3boysful

      She’d also need to be about 8″ taller.

  • marlie

    Joseph Gordon Levitt looks ADORABLE.
    Glenn Close needs to lose the jacket, and then we’d be in business.
    Anna Kendrick – I liked it at first, but liked it less and less the more I looked at it.
    Liza – loved the blue streak in her hair, but the rest… a little scary.
    Kevin Spacey – LOVED the navy tux.
    Chris Hemsworth looked pretty fab in his too. Actually – all of the guystars in this post look great.
    Lady Gaga – Typical Gaga, but she looks totally out of place. The Oscars red carpet is nit the place for stupid antics and affectations. And it’s more obvious how silly it is when she’s not the center of attention in front of a sea of her fans.

    • leahpapa

      Laughed out loud at TLo’s “no one cares, Steffi.” Whether you want to morph into Donatella is your own affair, but don’t expect anyone to scale the police barricade to kiss your feet, mkay? This isn’t the Palisades Mall, dear.

      • decormaven

        See the shot with Donatella in tow- think it’s at the VF party.

  • Sunraya

    Interesting, that I thought the men did a much better job dressing themselves for the Oscars than the women did. And I LOVED Kevin Spacey’s tux – he looked great!! All of those boring, skin colored dresses need to be collected and burned. I have a burning dislike for them.

  • Capt. Renault

    It’s not *that* bad, Anna Kendrick. Chin up!

  • Nicholas

    Although we do wonder sometimes if [JGL] can move his eyebrows at all.

    He probably can’t, actually.

    This red carpet was surprisingly boring—on both sides of the spectrum. But Hemsworth killed it.

  • webslice33

    love Jenna and Olivia…Mr. Underwood, well done!! and Mr. Hemsworth, you are perfection!

  • Anna

    Only Jessica Biel can make Chanel Couture look unremarkable and mediocre. That’s quite an achievement, but not one anybody should be proud of.

    • Gatto Nero

      It’s an ethereal dress but looks so bland on her.

      • Anna

        Doesn’t Uncle Karl have a law against that? If not, he should.

    • Jessica Freeman

      She has a hard working publicist considering she was invited and presented but having done nothing note worthy in quite some time.

      • lunchcoma

        She has a husband who Hollywood keeps trying to make happen. Even if the results are mixed, they keep trying, and Jessica’s inclusion on the A List is part of that.

        • marlie

          Musically, he’s not going anywhere, and he was attached to one of the biggest movies in the last few years, so I think that helps him keep his foot in the door in Hollywood, even if he himself isn’t *that* talented an actor.

          • lunchcoma

            I wouldn’t mind him so much if he stuck to variety show type bits (an area where I think he’s actually very talented) and to playing himself. But it irks me that he occasionally gets parts that should go to actors who can actually act, and it also gets a little tiresome pretending that Jessica Biel is a real celebrity.

          • marlie

            Yeah, he’s great on SNL and when he’s on Fallon’s show. Leave it at that.

          • Anna

            Variety did a brilliant piece in October called, “Why Justin Timberlake Should Stop Acting.” And Jessica Biel genuinely believes that she is much more than what she is actually capable of. Seems like she’d rather be out of work, but be able to call herself something of a film star than accept a steady-paying TV gig. Even though I think there’s plenty great roles and work in television, for those narcissistic and fragile actor egos, the film vs. tv hierarchy is very much a big deal.

          • demidaemon

            She started out in TV, right? Seventh Heaven or something? Shouldn’t burn the bridge that birthed you or some other mixed metaphor…

          • Anna

            She did. And because she was in some movies, like, 3 times (can’t be bothered to look them up), she got it in her head that she was on her way to film-stardom.

          • demidaemon

            Weren’t they all terrible rom-coms though? I think one should reevaluate your goals if you aren’t in either a) big budget blockbusters or b) excellent dramatic/independent roles.

          • Anna

            I think she was a “The Girl” in some action movies. And yes, it all comes down to her perception of herself vs. what the movie-going public thinks. She sees herself on the same level as someone like, Scarlett Johansson and is desperate to get those kind of offers.

          • demidaemon

            That sounds about right. Too bad she is one of the epitomes of bland.

          • Anna

            Yup. Fifty Shades of Beige.

          • demidaemon


      • Anna

        I think I read somewhere that she has the same team as her husband. So apparently that, and being Mrs. Timberlake are good enough to present at the Oscars and get a Chanel Couture gown. Lady Gaga looks hilariously out of place, but you know, she at least works steadily.

      • FrigidDiva

        They seem like SUCH a boring couple. Channing and Jenna seem like they’d be the fun couple at the party or back yard BBQ. Jessica and Justin seem like they’d be the couple showing up in matching beige bringing a bottle of Chablis.

        • Jessica Freeman

          I think Jessica and Justin is that couple you have to invite because you feel slightly obligated since you’ve known them for a while, but know that Justin is going to show up and be “on” the entire time while Jessica sits quietly sipping her white wine and dying of embarrassment.

          • marlie


      • decormaven

        It pained me she presented a music award.

    • GillianHolroyd

      It’s a sequined towel. If it weren’t for the length we’d be getting her mixed up with Aniston.

      • Anna

        Never noticed that before, but you’re right!

  • FrigidDiva

    Jenna Dewan Tatum–love the top half of the dress, wish it would have continued to the bottom. That floof down there just doesn’t match for me visually.
    Jason Sudekis–on my irrational bug list. Like him in movies, but every time I see a picture of him I just see a major douche nozzle.
    Sarah Paulson–like the hair color, SO much better than that awful fried and bleached out hair color she was sporting. However, that eye make up and dress color makes her look like she has jaundice or some other disease, not what they were going for I’m sure.
    Lady Gaga–I’m so over her at this point. Can she possibly wear footwear that isn’t 2 feet high?

    • BayTampaBay

      I am so over Gaga too.

      • FrigidDiva

        What exactly was she doing there anyway? Was she nominated? I didn’t get to watch except in bits and pieces, so if she was I never saw it.

      • MoHub

        I was over her before it was hip to be over her. 😉

    • TAGinMO

      Well, he is a KU grad, so it’s sort of baked in the cake.

    • 3boysful

      I was gonna give Sarah Paulson a personal best.

    • kimmeister

      Yeah, Sarah’s hair color was at least an improvement.

    • eandh99

      Mrs. Charming Potato’s dress here is blah, but much better than the illusion-netting cleavage monster she changed into at the Vanity Fair party, where she got to party with both Hemsworths (Thor and Charming are old friends, apparently)

  • ashtangajunkie

    Thor wins. Hummina hummina.

  • ScarlettHarlot

    Goldie’s bangs bothered me so much! My husband and I expected her to break out into “Heeee’s a tramp, he’s a rover!” any second.

    Jessica Biel’s dress appears to be made out of the school fundraiser gift wrap I used for all my friend’s 3rd grade birthday presents. (Lisa Frank pencil boxes, of course)

    • 3boysful

      I was sad Goldie seemed to have had so much work done. We don’t want to see you trying to look 35 when we know you’re pushing 70. It’s creepy.

  • Daisy Buchanan

    Was going to cut Will Forte some slack on the stubble and then I saw the hem of his pants. Eeesh.

  • @Biting Panda

    So many dirty bra colored dresses this year.

  • Jessica Freeman

    Kevin Spacey FTW. He looked incredible in that blue tux on TV.

    Disqus is eating my comments today…did we crash it with the high traffic volume…?

    • MilaXX

      I have to type everything twice to get it to post.

    • Gatto Nero

      A couple of mine disappeared completely, even after two or three tries.

      • ScarlettHarlot


        • marlie

          Happening with me too, on Firefox.

  • JauntyJohn

    Liza, I love you, but the girls needed some support. I understand that was a tricky proposition given the neckline, which is gorgeous on you, but the girls needed some support. Or more support. Or something.

    So… that’s a little jacket thing on Glen? That’s why there’s that fabric happening with her arm on her hip? The fit looks a little too Mae West for my liking.

    Channing Tatum should teach a class in how to use facial hair to give one’s face definition. He masterfully deploys the light growth on chin and ‘stache to give him a more defined look. As genetically blessed as he is, he would look… softer, in the face without it.

    • Jessica Freeman

      It’s 2014, there are bras for that top.

    • Sarah

      Yeah, a bolero, made to look seamlessly as if it ISN’T a bolero. And no way in heck was she gonna take that sucker off, so what’s the point I wonder? It is a very stiff look. Like, she’s upholstered.

      • TAGinMO

        She seems to go to that “upholstered” well a lot, and it’s almost always Posen. Glenn, he’s a nice young man, but I don’t think he’s your friend. Please tap June Squibb on the shoulder and get Mr. Shoji’s number, stat!

      • MilaXX

        I got Wild West barmaid in mourning. Why would she think this silhouette looked good. It’s so stiff & funereal looking.

    • formerlyAnon

      Yup. That sculpting effect is really the only excuse I can even halfway accept for the formal stubble trend – and then so many of the guys don’t even use it properly.

  • BayTampaBay

    I love the Atelier Versace dress but I am so over Ms. Gaga.

    TLo is so correct: her schtick does not go over at the Oscars. It is amazing how attention whore schtick looks so unclassy…even in an Atelier Versace.

    I so want that dress.

    • Jessica Freeman

      She’s like my attention seeking cousin who is constantly doing something obnoxious to get attention that it’s not uncommon for her to be off in some corner doing something strange and we don’t even see her anymore. Gaga looks exactly like her, except on the Oscars carpet.

  • ScarlettHarlot

    Liza was just…too blue for me. “I’ve got a blueberry for a diva!”

    • Aidan B

      Is that a Charlie and The Chocolate Factory reference? Excellent.

      • ScarlettHarlot

        Why yes it is! Miss Liza was serving up Violet Beauregarde realness. (But still managed to look less silly than her sister.)

  • Andrea Lentz

    No way Anna Kendrick’s dress is by far one of my favorites of the whole night!

    • Denise Alden

      One of mine, too! I really liked it on her, and I’m not even a fan of hers. I also thought Michael B. Jordan was in a dead tie with Jared Leto for best dressed dude.

    • ralish

      The dress has too many things happening for my taste, but I appreciate that it was different and her look was cohesive and polished. I would rather see a dozen of looks like hers instead of the dull-as-dishwater stuff that seemed to be everywhere!

  • majorbedhead

    As usual, JGL does it for me. Although Chris Hemsworth is giving him a run for his money.

    • Gatto Nero

      JGL looks adorable. Tux is unpretentious, unconventional, and a perfect fit.

  • Kelly

    Liza’s hair is fun, and I don’t even mind the electric blue of her outfit. But. . .she really needed some support. I think it was a mistake to go bra-less under such thin, silky fabric, which showed her breasts and nipples with practically every step she took. It’s not as clear in this picture, but I saw other pics that were so revealing that she might as well have been completely topless. Of course, maybe that’s the look she wanted, and I don’t want to wag my finger and say, “You can’t wear X because you are Y years old” or “because you have breasts,” but still, I found this outfit a little painful. (I’m not trying to be body-shaming, just realistic about things that work or don’t work for a given shape.)

    • FrigidDiva

      I don’t think it’s body shaming to suggest better foundation garments. I wouldn’t have minded the oversizedness of the outfit if the right foundation garments had been utilized.

    • Gatto Nero

      The choice of the off-the-shoulder top complicates the foundation garment issue. It’s hard to find strapless support for very large breasts. I think she just said WTF and chose to be comfortable.
      But — yes.

      • MilaXX

        It’s not an off the shoulder top. It’s a too big top she’s wearing off the shoulder. Look at the sleeve. The one side is ready to slide clean off.

        • Gatto Nero

          Yes, you’re right.
          Dear Liza.

        • marlie

          And most convertible bras can also accommodate the one-shouldered look.

          • DuBey2

            A ha ha ha. If she wanted to bother with a convertible bra (I can’t even figure them out… and I’m a bit younger) then she also would not have worn orthopedic shoes!
            She was there! She showed up! I think that was the point, as Kelly Osbourne said so cutely on FP.

          • marlie

            Someone had mentioned that the orthopedic shoes were because she’d had knee (or hip?) surgery. Yes, it’s Liza, but I wish she’d put in a little more effort. Like underwear.

      • Corsetmaker

        It’s really not. It’s not as if she’s limited to her local store. And I can’t think how it would be that comfortable having heavy, droopy breasts getting all overheated and sweaty underneath and scuffing off her top. Even a sparkly strap to hide a bra would’ve worked well. Her hair looks great, she was there, but it makes me sad that nobody advised her otherwise as it was inevitable it would draw the wrong kind of attention and detract from her being there.

        • Gatto Nero

          Yes, I stand corrected. And you sound like a foundation garment expert (Corsetmaker)!

          • Corsetmaker

            corsetiere and a bra fitter – double trouble 😉
            I know it can be hard in the US to easily pick up larger cupped bras though, but I’m sure she has people who can help her out.:)

    • marlie

      It’s not body- or age- shaming. I don’t want to see anyone’s nipples through their clothes. Otherwise, if she wants the girls to swing free, good on her.

  • ralish

    The men won this round, by far! Many of them managed to make tuxes look interesting and appropriate. Bravo! The women are, for the most part, in varying shades of blah. I think that’s why I initially liked Anna Kendrick’s dress– it was visually different than all of the others! But unfortunately, it was way too complicated and not entirely flattering. I think Kristen Bell’s dress would’ve been lovely in a slightly deeper shade of lavender and with entirely different hair. This looks too junior prom to me!

    • TAGinMO

      In fairness, I think most of the heavy-hitters on the ladystyle side were already pulled out and discussed yesterday. So the men are competing against the B-team here. 🙂

      • ralish

        True, but half of those dresses were just prettier versions of beige 🙂

  • Mrs. Julien

    My friend described Glenn Close’s look as “Mrs. Danvers”. Dead. On.

    • cowper

      Sarah Paulson as 2nd wife….and Angelina Jolie as the mysterious Rebecca!

  • Goldie

    Did anyone else see pictures of Chris Hemsworth’s wife? She’s so hugely pregnant (with twins) that it looked painful. She looked pretty though.

    • Chelsea

      I HATED her dress choice. That waistband was all wrong. She’s gorg though. And I’m insanely jealous of her.

    • Frank_821

      OMG everyone on Fasjion police last night were ranting about her dress. How the dress looked awful on her and they hated the dress on its own. But they did say she is a beautiful woman

      • DuBey2

        That dress set pregnant women everywhere running back to the old empire, then loose. They ran screaming to their closets, lest any should look like her.
        Also, it looked SO uncomfortable with all the giant ??crystals?? — hope she got to put on a comfy robe asap afterwards.

      • alyce1213

        It was a gaudy, shapeless sack.

    • Alyssa

      I was hoping TLo would feature her…I was curious their opinion on her dress.

    • marlie

      I saw her and I decided that I wasn’t going to make a single comment about her dress because I was shocked and amazed that she was willing to be out there on the red carpet at all.

    • eandh99

      the dress was Elie Saab, who’s she’s often worn in the past, she had great hair and makeup and earrings and these KILLER shoes, she thought she looked great so good for her. At this point of being pregnant with Thor’s twins she can wear whatever she wants. She’s worn a lot of dresses belted underneath (I live with a Thor fangirl and get shown all the pics) so I think that’s what she finds comfortable for how big she is.

    • cocohall

      I had twins and so yes, bravo to you Mrs. H for showing up at all. But that dress was all wrong. It gave her uni-gut – her boobs (which are probably pretty spectacular at this stage) just became part of the giant baby factory below. She should have put the definition UNDER the boobs, and let the rest of the dress flow over and away from the bump. Still, she has my respect for gearing up at all – if ever there was a night to say, Hon, I’m going to beach myself on the couch – be a love and go get enough takeout for 6 – this was it.

  • Jen

    SO much beige.

  • MarissaLG

    I like Glen Close’s look a lot. What’s so bad about being severe when it looks so good?! I also love Sarah Paulson’s gown. Maybe it’s not the right color for the red carpet, but I think she looks lovely in photos. I don’t love her hair. It’s the bad kind of severe.

  • Kim Elmore


    • Frank_821

      They were fighting about that on Fashion Police. The Liza defenders were saying she’s had hip replacements-no need for heels

      Kelly Osburn was brook no dissings of Liza. She said all that matters is Liza is in the house.

      • KinoEye

        I agree with Kelly. I saw Cabaret for the first time a few months ago, and after “Mein Herr,” I decided I would hear no words against the woman. She’s extraordinary.

        • 3boysful

          She’s positively charming and funny and delightful when you see her live.

      • formerlyAnon

        For a whippersnapper, Kelly does sometimes make me proud.

        • demidaemon

          I admit I understand what she was saying. And I don’t hold the shoes against Liza. The outfit, however, could use a little help. It WAS a lot of blue.

          • formerlyAnon

            I just give her a generic pass, they way I would someone 20 years her senior. Because in a lot of ways, I think she’s taken a lot more damage than her years, and when you see a recording of a live performance (I’ve never seen her in person) she’s laying it all out there and capturing the audience.

          • demidaemon

            I can understand that. There are certain celebrities who have earned that, and I think she’s one of them. I still defer to my earlier comment about the blue.

  • Cee Layton

    Goldie and Kurt are just so awesome. I didn’t hate Anna K’s dress; it was surely not worse than Julia Robert’s. It was really not Liza’s night, bless her heart.

  • Frank_821

    JGL’s tux is faboo beyond words. I didn’t get a good look at it during the red carpet. Michael B Jordan’s shoes would have gone great with that suit

  • imspinningaround

    Why does Hemsworth get a pass on the stubble but not will Forte?

    • JauntyJohn

      To my eye, Hemsworth looks groomed, like it’s a style choice, and Forte looks like a dude who didn’t shave.

  • Tatiana Luján

    I really liked Julie Delpy’s dress. Maybe I did because I love her.

    • Cheryl

      I just wish it didn’t have the bat wings.

  • Dandesun

    The men have decided to give some color! JGL’s tux is great and perfectly hemmed! Kevin Spacey in blue! Chris Hemsworth in purple! Where’s Alan Cumming in some green plaid or something?

    I will also never not love Kurt and Goldie. It’s so strange to read ‘he’s been a movie star his entire life’ yet… it’s absolutely true. He HAS been. (I’ve always loved his voice-over bit on TCM about Elvis, particularly where he says his first credit was ‘Boy Who Kicks Elvis.’)

    And, seriously, is someone coming up with a script where Joseph Gordon Levitt and Emma Watson meet and fall in love and are fabulous, fun and stylish together because that needs to happen so I have a new ‘feel good and awesome’ movie to drink wine to.

  • KateShouldBeWorking

    Sweet Jeebus, Stefi! Put away the insane hooves, just once.

    • MilaXX

      That and her insistence on walking around permanently posed keep her dress from looking like anything more than a costume.

      • MilaXX

        oh and I forgot to add the stupid 12 inch shoes she insists on wearing everywhere.

  • Cheryl

    I’m liking those coloured tuxedos. I really liked Kristen Bell’s dress, but I’m a sucker for anything that has an origami type detail.

    • Little_Olive

      In the screen, the pale lavender-grey color really served the detail too.

  • Darren Nesbitt

    I like how Jason and Olivia don’t try to match. It looks like they walked out of their separate master bathrooms and said “You chose the black one? Awesome, lets go”.

    • DuBey2

      They almost always look great together. And seem like they’re more ‘grounded’ than most Hollywood couples.

    • alyce1213

      I love that he didn’t wear black, so they don’t look like a “set” of something.

  • Maluca

    I want to comment but I’m sorta just stuck at Liza’s nipple. Bless her.

  • KinoEye

    As far as boystars go, Kevin Spacey won the night for me. That tux was to die for and he looked just perfect in it. Of course, I’m biased, since I think he’s maybe the best actor working today and has a unique blend of intelligence, sensitivity and humor — but he knocked this out of the park, as far as I’m concerned.

    • SarahBeth

      My fiance wants to wear that tux when we get married next year. Its ALL HE COULD TALK ABOUT.

      • marlie

        My bf is all about the navy tux, as well.

    • Jessica Freeman

      Not going to lie that he was the only one I gasped at on the red carpet that’s how much I love me some Kevin

  • SewingSiren

    Love seeing Liza in Halston. She also wore Halston back when she won the Oscar for Cabaret.

    • MilaXX

      The top bugs because it’s too big and clearly not supposed to be off the shoulder like that.

    • Trickytrisha

      Well, I, for one, didn’t wake up on Sunday morning thinking “Oh boy, I get to see Liza Minelli’s bare breasts under blue sateen today.” Scary stuff.

  • MilaXX

    I appreciate the effort the men are putting in this year. We had several colors of tuxedos, some playing with the fabric and tweaking of some of the smaller elements like ties & collars. Well done men.

  • DaringMiss

    Julia Delpy’s dress belongs to Meryl Streep.

    • Constant Reader

      I like the idea of the dress and its nod to old-school Hollywood glam. There’s just something about the execution that bugs. Not sure if it’s the lack of color, or the batwing sleeves need to be less droopy around the bust, or what.

    • Little_Olive

      When are people going to understand dolman, and especially batwing sleeves are NOT anyone’s friend -much less a girl with breasts.
      She still managed to look… French, I guess.

  • KellerKevin

    Where’s Gabourey? I thought she looked really lovely, especially while presenting beside Anna Kendrick’s way-too-complicated dress. :-/

    • dschubba

      I hope she’s in the next installment. it’s probably a personal best.

  • Daktari100

    I have to disagree about Chris Hemsworth. He’s cute, but he looks like he should be attending the taxi stand at an expensive hotel. And I’m also not so in love with Michael B. Jordan’s shoes, and most especially not at the Oscars. For me, Lady Gaga, Kevin Spacey, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt win this round. Liza could have been in that group if her vintage Halston was a better fit. She’s looking pretty great these days.

    • Little_Olive

      Yes, so much yes on Thor and the other one with the crazy shoes.

    • demidaemon

      Considering how boring the men usually dress, I can’t really hold any attempts at color away from the men.

  • MannahattaMamma

    is jason aka mr olivia looking like Bill Macy or is that just me?

  • Bexxx

    Sudieiekeis and Wilde won the night for me. His grooming is PERFECT- he seriously looks amazing. Lucky girl. I tend to find her boring, but pregnancy and a power relationship look great on her. Her face is truly built for the cat eye. I love MBJ’s crazy shoes, I think they bring some visual interest to an otherwise standard look.

  • AlmostClassy

    *Edited because my observation was already shared by quite a few people. Sorry folks, nothing original to see here!*

    • marlie

      It doesn’t matter. Share away!

      • AlmostClassy

        If you insist! I was joining in the chorus of Liza looks like she’s wearing pajamas. But I still love her hair and hope I’m that fun with mine when I’m her age.

  • Little_Olive

    Kurt would have looked so much better with a simple, well-combed side part. Goldie, does not have a face nor anything severe but yes, girl, please let us see your eyes.

    Liza’s shoes make me so sad. They don’t have to be Louboutin 6-inch stilettos, but honey, you are LIZA. And you are wearing wide shiny blue pants. And you are not particularly tall.

    Olivia Wilde FTW, pregnant and not. Simple, striking. Gorge couple.

    • Little_Olive

      Oh and Uncles, I’d love your input on Jim Carey’s look.

  • LibKat

    Somebody needs to write a script for Ms. Lupita and Michael B. Jordan STAT. The red carpets would be killer.

  • kimmeister

    Will Forte is standing like a little kid getting his picture taken on the first day of school.
    I hated those star things on Michael B. Jordan’s collar.

  • TinaBelchersawkwardmoan

    Gaga’s dress reminded me somewhat of Jay McCarroll’s Chrysler dress. In the absolute best way! I wish we saw more from Jay.

  • alyce1213

    Olivia Wilde won the pregnancy prize by a mile and then some. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look better. Jason Sudeikis looked wonderful in midnight blue, I’m so glad they didn’t matchy it up.

    Liza is a force of nature. I first saw her when my parents took me to see “Flora the Red Menace” on Broadway. She was 19 years old and won the Tony. As much as I love her, the braless situation in unfortunate,

  • bitchybitchybitchy

    Chris Hemsworth looked yummy. Thor is on the top of my list of movies to watch when I’m by myself-the drool is just too embarrassing otherwise.
    Brava to Olivia Wilde for dressing well while preggers.
    Channing and Jenna are such an adorable and gorgeous couple.

  • Danielle


  • Tracy_Flick

    Sarah Paulson’s sleeve length is terrible.

  • bingo

    go thor–color!

  • Ashleigh

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…”Oh Liza”.
    I want to talk more about Jason Sudeikis. Man, he is FINE and he’s looking better and better every day. Like you say, love the tux and grooming.
    Please, Joseph Gordon Levitt, stop doing that. You’re starting to get too Mcconaughey.

  • formerlyAnon

    A much higher proportion of these are good – especially the men – than the usual red carpet. My random remarks:

    If Glenn Close wanted that fabric, she should have had it made into a tailored jacket.

    Liza’s hair was FABULOUS. Beyond that, it’s been clear for years she wasn’t going to age well. Looking at her as I would a woman I met in my daily life, my knee jerk subconscious kicks out: chronic pain, multiple meds for multiple issues. I hope my subconscious is wrong and she’s in a healthy phase and feels good.

    Ms. Hawn looks better than she did on my t.v. screen. Seeing her on screen my thought was “She’s gone past mutton dressed as lamb to mutton reincarnated as lamb.” Which doesn’t make sense but maybe you know what I mean. She needs to re-think before she becomes laughable.

    Olivia Wilde KILLED IT, Lady Gaga’s dress was wonderful, Spacey & Hemsworth won the men’s division for me. Mr. Jordan first runner up.

    The expression on Kristen Bell’s face made me want to be her running buddy – “this dress isn’t holding me back” is what it says. And I say, pour the lady a double and see where this goes.

  • ThaliaMenninger

    I thought Steffi and Kristin Cheno looked like they were in versions of the same armor. Er, dress.

  • CPK1

    love the red carpet rundown! And love Kevin Spacey’s tux and Micheal B. Jordan’s fab fab shoes. Anna Kendrick is beyond bad. Soo awful.

  • fursa_saida

    Olivia Wilde seems to somehow make Sudeikis hot, to me. It remains a disturbing development even, what, a year+ after they first got together?

  • cocohall

    Even though she was part of the Tribute to Beige, I thought Sarah Paulson looked lovely. She normally looks like she could be pulled over for DWI (Dressing While Intoxicated) so I’m quite happy to see her looking pulled together and polished. Also, Jenna D-T, had her baby like a hot minute ago – I know she was a dancer, but still, looking great post-baby. As for Goldie Hawn and her elbow drapes – there is a sad sad situation when you age where your arms start to MELT. You can Tracy Anderson all you want, but gravity wins. I assume she was just trying to camouflage that, just as her bangs and hair seem to be an attempt to cover up around the face. I did think her evident pride in her daughter was sweetness times infinity.

    • KinoEye

      “Tribute to Beige.” I love it.

  • Corsetmaker

    I think Goldie is just trying to hide her upper arms without covering up. No matter how good her shape is, and she does look great, the skin there really gets crepey and droopy. Liza…oh dear. I fit women all the time whose daughters, friends, sisters aren’t letting them go to family weddings etc like that. Someone could’ve done her the same favour. She’s always preferred trousers and often those baggy off the shoulder type tops. So the outfit gets a pass, and the colour is beautiful. But, a bra.

  • I actually quite love Jessica Biel’s dress; sparkly, interesting, fits well; she looks great! As for the boys, Chris Hemsworth wins.

  • Jacqueline Wessel

    Liza, put on a bra!

  • emilaweb

    Wish you’d addressed the back of Kendrick’s dress because honestly it almost makes up for the hiddy front. (But I know, time constraints)

  • “No one cares, Steffi.” I was laughing at that for a solid 15 minutes!

  • patticake1601

    Anna Kendrick wore a stunning dress to the after party which she should have worn to the Oscars instead.

  • quiltrx

    How did I never see Steffi the whole time? (granted if she was shown anywhere near the end of the show, everything died at my house due to an ice storm, dammit). LOVE the dress, much like those Balmains that always catch my eye.
    Hemsworth was my choice for best male look of the night, and Spacey was my first runner up. Damn, Spacey was just BORN to wear a tux!

  • Susan Velazquez

    I liked Anna’s dress. I can’t decide if I like the sheer panel around her waist but it was more interesting than another 50 shades of beige dress.

  • katiessh

    lady gaga: WAY too tight bodice
    joseph gordon levitt: the thing that made it was the bright blue socks he was wearing
    michael b jordan: loved the star collar cuffs (?)

  • Granny panties

    Oliva Wilde was my favorite. So chic. Then I saw the back, loved it even more. Her face looks even more beautiful than usual.
    Also loved Liza’s boho glam outfit, though I’d wear it more for hostesing a wine and gossip fest.

  • e jerry powell

    Gaga is reaching for Erte, perhaps?

    • GillianHolroyd

      Then Delphy has her beat.

      • e jerry powell

        Delpy still needs some scarf-ish action accentuating the vertical lines to really reach Erte deco heights, though.

  • Shawn EH

    Sarah Paulson looked chic rather than crazy for once, that’s pretty good!

  • peachy

    olivia/jason: best dressed couple, hands down. perfect pregnantlady red carpet dress… stunning. liza? well, i don’t even know what to say except, she’s liza *shrug* kspacey in midnight blue – fantasticoprimo! steffi in drag: And her schtick looks somehow gratifyingly affected and out of place on the Oscars red carpet. bahahaha so well said TLo. lotsa love to you for that one!