Jane Krakowski in Victoria Beckham at Roundabout Theatre Company’s 2014 Spring Gala

Posted on March 11, 2014

Jane, darling, you look fabulous. It’s just a shame your dress sucks.

 

Jane Krakowski attends Roundabout Theatre Company’s 2014 Spring Gala at Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City in Victoria Beckham.

Victoria Beckham Spring 2014 Collection

 

Seriously. You’re too good for this dress, dear. We think we like the idea of it, but the reality is just plain awkward. The flash of white doesn’t look cheeky; it looks like your skirt got caught on something. And those straps flatter precisely no one. If a model walking a runway can’t make it work, then you need to leave it on the hanger. We don’t like imposing rules but that seems like a reasonably safe one to us.

Also, those shoes are making us wince, but not as hard as they’re making you wince, we bet.

 

 

[Photo Credit: Ilya S. Savenok/Getty Images, IMAXtree]

    • @Biting Panda

      Fancy tennis dress. So, no.

      • ballerinawithagun

        Exactly!

      • MoHub

        I had a vision of one of the Williams sisters in this.

        • ampg

          Me too!

      • Henry Maler

        But it’s tennis night in America!

      • formerlyAnon

        My precise thoughts were : “Flirty tennis dress. Needs to be shorter, then. Needs to be on someone barely out of their teens if you’re going to wear a tennis dress on the red carpet.”

    • Hallie

      i’m not wild about this haircut for her, she should stick with the jenna maroney circa seasons 4-7

    • marlie

      Her face and hair are gorgeous, but she’s wearing an ice skating costume.

      • gabbilevy

        Backwards.

    • nannypoo

      It looks more like a tennis dress on the model because of the length and her shoes. On Jane I don’t really dislike it, but I would never choose it for her. Actually I probably wouldn’t choose it for anyone.

      • marlie

        Maybe this would work on one of the 15-year old ladystars. MAYBE.

        • tereliz

          Styled with boots (Docs) and a kind of grungy jacket or flannel to the nineties. That’s the only way these skater/tennis dresses work, IMO.

    • melanie0866

      Is the model a man? I’m not insulting him/her; I seriously think that’s a man. Wasn’t that a thing on some runways? Gender-switching models?

      • lobsterlen

        The cut of the dress gives everyone who wears it linebacker shoulders.

        • Ginger

          I have very broad shoulders so I can only imagine what this dress would do to me. UGH.

        • ModernDowager

          …and eliminates your boobs. I bet this dress would even make Christina Hendricks look tranny.

        • what not

          It really is oddly mannish. I’m all for personal gender identity and not living according to gender roles and all that, but I don’t think that was the intention. Surprisingly weird for almost everyone.

      • conniemd

        Pretty sure it’s a female with a very tightly pulled back pony tail, making it look like short male hair. I see a glimpse of pony behind the head.

        • Sarah

          Hair length notwithstanding, the limbs tend toward that of a lady. Forearms are a dead giveaway.

          • MoHub

            Also no Adam’s apple.

            • scoobynacks

              Men and women both have adam’s apples. It doesn’t mean someone’s a man if they have one. Also, there’s an operation some guys get to shave it down.

      • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

        Posh doesn’t strike me as the sort of designer to play with gender that way.

      • Little_Olive

        There are quite a few models who are men (not trans). Slimmer hips, longer and leaner legs. Don’t ask me how but I know it’s true.

    • wisenhar

      From the waist up she looks like she’s auditioning for American Gladiators.

    • kimmeister

      Like me, she has broad shoulders and a modest bust; this is not the kind of neckline that does us any favors.

      • formerlyAnon

        Except with people who like a woman with a strong shoulder. I like that – think it looks strong, athletic and young – the way some people like toned arms with defined musculature on a woman.

    • Kitten Mittons

      Linebacker shoulders on both Jane and the model. Burn that rag.

    • Alyssa

      I think with some bold & colorful styling, it would have had a better chance of success. It would still be, as @BitingPanda:disqus said, a fancy tennis dress though.

    • MarissaLG

      That’s a dress for Jenna Maroney, not for Jane Krakowski.

    • Sarah

      Why would you design a dress that gives everyone who wears it as small a bust as possible coupled with the largest shoulders they can appear to have? And considering that same dress appears to be for tennis, I think Jane could’ve done SO much better.

      • Jessica Freeman

        Vicki is trolling the lady stars now.

      • MoHub

        I have narrow shoulders and D-cup breasts, and I wouldn’t wear it.

        • Sarah

          I’m pretty sure D-cups (me too) would pop right out the armholes. So yeah, not a good idea.

          • lunchcoma

            I’ve got a bit more than D-cups, and I’d have cleavage hanging out everywhere. Seems like this dress is only wearable by people it’s guaranteed not to flatter.

    • butterflysunita

      She really does look great, odd dress notwithstanding. Love her hair.

    • sojourneryouth

      Her hair and makeup are amazing, but yes, that dress makes her look like an East German swimmer having a night on the town in the late 70s. Miss Beckham can do better.

      • kimmeister

        East German swimmer? Nailed it.

    • Glam Dixie

      Wow, that dress even gives the model linebacker shoulders.

    • Jessica Freeman

      I would like to see her right eye since her face is looking so gorgeous.

    • Corsetmaker

      Bad dress. I liked her better when she looked softer.

    • Imasewsure

      Maybe this looked good on Vick herself? No other reason for it to exist (and I’m a tennis player)

    • PastryGoddess

      I cannot get over her head and how amazing it looks.

    • lalahartma

      Both Jane and the model look manly in this dress.

    • JynxTheCat

      that dress cut will make a man out of you. She looks exactly like the HS Varsity football team dressed as ladies for the pep rally. Those proportions are murder.

    • snarkykitten

      Wednesday Addams is forced to play tennis

    • KT

      Wow that dress is extremely unflattering. I love a strong shoulder, but those straps are somehow making her look very masculine. The exposed coffee filter is weird and unnecessary, and the styling is boring. Nice hair though.

    • jw_ny

      Jane looks quite fit, but the cut of the straps and neckline seem to over-accentuate her shoulders and arms to the point she looks like a body builder, and as well her waist and shape is lost without the inclusion of the belt. Just not figure flattering.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/TheOctocornNetwork International Model

      L’BAWD returns.

      • formerlyAnon

        Now, officially A Thing. Just wait. Gonna take off.

    • sagecreek

      I kinda like that dress. I might need to lay down and put a cool rag on my forehead.

      • formerlyAnon

        I’m with you. Though I agree it looks a bit like a tennis dress. Still like it.

    • smayer

      Gwen Stefani’s square sister.

    • MilaXX

      So we’re now getting twee frankendresses? Hate the dress and hate the 2 small shoes.

    • Lilak

      Swim team cheerleader! (evening meet?)

    • lynnlee

      Really nice hair though.

    • Trickytrisha

      What is Ewan McGregor doing modeling for Victoria Beckham?

    • ElaineMarie34

      The dress is not great. But I’m not a fan of the weird frozen face – yes, she’s pretty, but she’s 45 years old and I’d rather see an authentic, unhampered expression.

    • NBG

      It’s a shame. That bod and that hair deserve a much better dress.

    • alyce1213

      Surprised it’s a Victoria Beckham, I usually like her dresses. It’s so tricky, gimmicky and unflattering, I thought it was a Stella McCartney.

    • Lilithcat

      Only the ice skates are missing.

    • Ashleigh

      Yes. The straps. and yes, not to the fancy tennis dress!

    • B_C_J

      Dress is unflattering. However hair & make up look wonderful

    • elemspbee

      tennis dress or figure skating.

    • Danielle

      From the neck up I am squealing with glee. That HAIR

      • bitchybitchybitchy

        Her hair and makeup deserve a much better dress, as does her body

    • Shawn EH

      Girl, that’s not A dress.

    • The Versatile Chef

      I’m convinced Victoria Beckham designs clothes that can only be worn by Victoria Beckham.

    • crash1212

      I think this is the first Victoria dress I haven’t liked. TLo is/are correct. That strap placement flatters exactly no one.

      • bitchybitchybitchy

        The straps scream exercise tank top to me.

    • Susan Sontag

      I feel like we’ve seen someone else in this dress. I remember that patch of white underskirt. Emma Roberts? Emma Watson?

    • ashtangajunkie

      Most of what I’ve seen from Posh has been much sleeker than this “sexy maid” costume. Just needs a feather duster.

    • Crystal

      Her head looks gorgeous.

    • hillmad

      Wow, is she an Olympic swimmer in training? Those guns! Those shoulders!

    • http://www.momforless.com/ Crystal

      It’s like a LBD tried to eat a tennis dress.

    • peachy

      the runway model looked miserable – prolly because she knew she looked a fright. it doesn’t look any better on MizK either. it makes her shoulders look Hulk-y.

    • Jacob Bowen

      It’s like she’s wearing bloomers that want to be a dress TRYING to peek out from under this AWFUL LBD.

    • SophieCollier

      That is the most dreadful neckline/bodice I have seen in ages. If it makes the size 0 model look like a linebacker, it’s a bad design. Posh, I’m shocked.

    • Gatto Nero

      Pricey tennis outfit.
      The cut of the bodice distorts her shape — football-star shoulders and flattened breasts.
      The peek of pleated white at the bottom is pointless and distracting.
      But her hair and makeup are pretty.

      • nyll18

        Yes to the tennis outfit! If it was 6 inches shorter, I could totally see Maria Sharapova wearing this at the US Open.

    • MannahattaMamma

      Totally, yes, tennis anyone? And sorry but it’s early March in NYC’s coldest winter since god was a girl, so save the frock for some Hamptons July romp.

    • http://weirdinedgewise.blogspot.com ONEWEIRDWORD

      This is one of the most unflattering dresses I think I’ve ever seen in all my born days. Sheesh.