Shia LaBeouf at the “Nymphomaniac Volume I” Premiere

Posted on February 10, 2014

He’s an ass.

 

Shia LaBeouf attends the “Nymphomaniac Volume I (long version)” premiere during the 2014 Berlinale International Film Festival at Berlinale Palast in Berlin, Germany.

 

And he doesn’t deserve the attention, but we will say this. In our book, there’s a chapter on celebrity meltdowns called “The Full Chernobyl.” Part of the chapter deals with the differences between how male stars have meltdowns and how female stars do. The latter usually focus their drama inward, hating themselves and hurting themselves. The former alway focus their drama outward, demanding that the world pay their chest-thumping and ridiculous entitlement the respect they feel it’s owed.  Discuss.

 

 

[Photo Credit: Clemens Bilan/Getty Images]

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  • RussellH88

    What would Ren think of all of this?

    • Shug

      Damnit, Louis Stevens.

  • http://myriameron.blogspot.com/ Heron

    LOL Y U MAD

  • deelup

    He quoted Eric Cantona before he stormed off. Therefore I actually like him now, whereas before I paid him no heed.

    • Jean Marie Downing

      Did he acknowledge it as a quote?

      • Sarah

        Nope.

      • CPK1

        Probably not. He is seemingly all about the plagiarism.

        • Josefina Madariaga Suárez

          I love you.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

        Oh, snap!

    • MK03

      Which quote? Please tell me it was “Wha’evah, wha’evah, I do wha’ I want!”

      • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

        The seagull and sardines thing.

        • MK03

          Shit, I read that as “Eric Cartman quote.” Which, let’s be honest, would have been much more fitting.

          • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

            Definitely!

          • Josefina Madariaga Suárez

            It would have been awesome (and I would’ve loved him for that) if he’d used the “screw you guys, I’m going home” before leaving the conference.

        • jabes

          I love Cantona, so to have this twerp quote such an epic non sequitur is really annoying. (I do like to picture Cantona kick boxing him, though, especially with that stupid paper bag on his head!)

  • Kate Andrews

    He’ll soon get his wish. Douche canoe.

  • Anna

    He’ll be announcing on Twitter next week that he’s back from retirement. That’s how it goes with asshole, entitled child stars. No different than Justin Bieber in terms of attitude.

    • Josefina Madariaga Suárez

      And we didn’t need another Justin Bieber brat right now.

    • melisaurus

      Yea but he is 27 and while Justin Bieber is technically adult age 19 is still fairly young and people can grow up a lot from there.
      Shia went through the disney machine before it got really bad, HIlary Duff turned out fine. He just needs to stop because from this side it really does look like entitled and childish. I wouldn’t be surprised if he is just acting crazy on purpose, because this is truly uninspired.

  • Nicoclaws

    Nice butt.
    But there’s nothing to discuss, you said it all in one sentence.

  • BEARAYMOND

    And yet you gave him a post. One that doesn’t mention his clothes, but does hawk your book.

    • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

      And?

      • BEARAYMOND

        Just being a snarky bitter kitten who is at his desk rather than fashion week – and not very happy about it. It was a “Fashion” post rather than “Celebrity” hence the remark about his clothes. As for the book comment, jealousy is in many shades of green. I look forward to reading it, and if any blog I follow religiously deserved a book deal, it was the two of you! No hate. Just snark.

        • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

          Fair enough. Carry on, kitten!

          • Anita Berlanga

            Gotta love a kitten who owns his snark! xoxo

        • Rand Ortega

          BEARAYMOND, I likes the cut of your jib. To quote the Fug Girls, “Well Played!”

    • thesevenendless

      I’d say when a star does a nuclear level of assholery, as is above, clothing becomes a moot point. Besides, there’s nothing really of note with his suit, other than navy (?) and boring. Oh, and this:

      COME ON Hollywood men – if SHIA LABOEUF, mini-Sean Penn, has the brain cells to get his pants hemmed, the rest of you sure as hell can.

      • BEARAYMOND

        I’ll give you an AMEN for the hemming – for sure!

      • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

        Although it’s hard to tell if they *are* hemmed properly because he’s got his goddamned hands jammed in his pockets.

      • Shibori Girl

        “clothing becomes a moot point”
        I am so happy he is wearing some. Somethings are best left unseen.

        In fact, let’s give him his wish – Take him away – he has become boring.

      • melisaurus

        Is his clothing a moot point though? He took the time to buy and get this suit tailored. And the decided to wear a stupid mask over it. And his publicist/PR didn’t stop him – they could have easily walked out there and ripped it off his head. These are all things to think about.

        He could have just shown up in jeans, t- shirt, and a middle finger. If he really didn’t care he would have just not shown up at all.

  • Danielle

    15…14…13…

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      You’re counting down too slowly – hurry it up! ;-)

      • Mismarker

        I think we may already be at BOOM?

        • NYCGlamourpuss

          God willing.

  • @Biting Panda

    Joaquin did it better and with more authenticity. Though it is refreshing, to see a Disney created boy star go just as spectacularly off the rails as the girls do. I don’t know what kind of horrific things happen at Chez Disney, but clearly it is dark and scarring.

    • CLoverleaf

      but Joaquin was not actually authentic at all, it was all performance art or whatever

      • @Biting Panda

        Fair. Though, anytime a Phoenix kid shows mental instability, I say there’s likely at least shred of truth to it.

      • StarburstLady

        Count me in with the crew who think that Shia is trying to pull the same thing– I don’t think he necessarily was initially, but when it became clear that he’d screwed up in a big enough way to need some addressing, I think he and his PR team decided that what he needed to do was pull a full-on performance art melt-down to overshadow his (fairly substantial) bad behavior, and to try to shame his critics by making them look like they’re either (a) attacking a mentally-unstable person, or (b) just not getting the “Art”.

        • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

          DingDingDing! Nailed it!

        • http://armchairauthor.wordpress.com/ LesYeuxHiboux

          The thing is, Joaquin had a meltdown after turning in multiple stellar performances. Shia just doesn’t have the cred to survive a stunt like this. A Ph.D.-level maneuver by a star working on his G.E.D.

          • Anna

            I agree. It’s just a dickhead being a dick. And he’s doing this while he’s technically working, nice one LaDouche…

          • travelingcat

            Reminds me of a quote from an autobiography by the great soprano Beverly Sills “… a guppie trying to be a whale”.

        • Rand Ortega

          IN. THE. NUTSHELL.

          • demidaemon

            That would be a result I could live with. He nearly ruined Transformers forever for me, and I just cannot forgive that. Or Michael Bay, but it was a joint effort.

          • Alloy Jane

            I hate those movies. I take it he’s in them? I don’t know who he is but LAist covered his #IAMSORRY thing at an art gallery today. Apparently he was sitting in a back room with that paper bag on his head crying quietly. I just hope the writer he plagarized gets whatever is owed to him.

          • demidaemon

            Well, at least we still don’t have to see his face, I guess. In general, though, I have two conflicting responses: WTF and I could give two shits.

          • demidaemon

            Yep, he was the “star.”

  • Jessica Freeman

    Not a lot to discuss….since I never cared for him in the first place. This is just silly, but serving it’s purpose I suppose.

  • Carrie

    Agreed. Why are you giving him the attentiom he’s obviously seeking? I get promoing your book but this should have been on your book blog, not your main site.

    • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

      Says the person who clicked on the link, read the post, and then commented on it.

      Since when are we not supposed to cover celebrities on the red carpet?

      • Lana

        Oh, wow. It was a nice five years, time to get off the wagon.

        • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

          ??

          • Violina23

            I think your next book should be on blogging and include a chapter on people who loudly announce that they no longer like you and are LEAVING, since, clearly, you will spend many sleepless nights mourning their loss.

          • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

            People like that are “Doing the Shia.”

          • Shibori Girl

            How am I going to work “Doing the Shia” into a conversation today? On the world’s longest hold right now. Maybe I should accuse the service rep of “Doing the Shia” since it has been half an hour of tinkly music.

          • http://www.snoskred.org/ Snoskred

            That chapter in Australia would be titled “Spitting the dummy” e.g. how a toddler spits out their dummy. ;)

          • DB Ruberto

            The name of my next band. Thank you.

          • kimmeister

            Er, what does “dummy” mean in Australia?

          • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

            Dummy = pacifier.

          • kimmeister

            Thanks!

          • Carleenml

            I was thinking didn’t we all stop loudly announcing we were no longer going to follow someone back on AOL newsgroups in 1999?

          • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

            I think twitter made it popular again. Twitter flouncing is very big.

          • demidaemon

            It isn’t reserved to twitter or blogs. I’ve seen it on forums for video games, television shows. You name it, someone has publicly announced on the internet that they are quitting said thing. I 1) tend not to believe their drama queen antics and 2) say how very celebrity of them, as our prime example above.

          • Carleenml

            or as I’ve said about every library patron over the years who swore they were never returning…”promises, promises.”

          • demidaemon

            EXACTLY.

          • Rand Ortega

            Genius.

          • decormaven

            “”Full many a flower is born to blush unseen, And waste its sweetness on the desert air.” That’s the level of impact such people inflect on others.

        • ecallaw1977

          That wasn’t even a good hair flip.

    • formerlyAnon

      Since I don’t anonymously down vote but a couple of times a year, I will say I think referencing their book is entirely appropriate to pretty much any of the celebrity/fashion posts here. Since it IS all about the world this blog comments upon.

      • CakesOnAPlane

        agreed – I enjoyed the inclusion of the gendered implications of male and female celebrity meltdowns. I hadn’t even thought of it in that frame, and because they drew a connection to the book, it brought in a discussion that will keep me thinking about this longer.

      • @Biting Panda

        Right. I gave two downvotes today. Which, I also never do. I can’t imagine coming to someone’s blog and telling them what to post and how to do it. (But I did appreciate what @BEARAYMOND:disqus had to say, after the fact)

        • http://www.snoskred.org/ Snoskred

          AMEN.

          The levels of my agreement with this comment are only outweighed by my levels of I wish I had said this first. ;)

      • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

        It’s also fuelling my desire for Be Me or Do Me bingo cards, for checking off celeb behaviours from the book.

        • formerlyAnon

          That is HILARIOUS. Though I am afraid my attendance at the TLo Institute of Wasting Time etc. does not really need any additional lures.

          • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

            The TLo Institute is a respected seat of learning.

          • CPK1

            I am getting a PhD at the TLo institute. I am a very dedicated student.

        • NinjaCate

          OMG THIS IS A THING THAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN IMMEDIATELY.

          • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

            Have to say, it’s an excellent idea.

          • NinjaCate

            It could be a new feature! And at the end of the year, we could tally up how many celebrities did a full BMODM Bingo. The Be Me Or Do Me Awards.

          • Musicologie

            Yes! The behaviors can even be arranged into columns, so in order to win, the celebrity either has to go through the ENTIRE fame cycle in a year (a year with red carpets, relationship scandal, oblivious advice-giving, breakdown, and redemption? Whew!) OR fully commit to one of the stages (going all in with a public relationship with a marriage, adopted children, cheating scandal, and breakup).

        • decormaven

          Bowing down to this genius suggestion.

        • http://armchairauthor.wordpress.com/ LesYeuxHiboux

          You could use them during red carpet coverage!

        • NYCGlamourpuss

          That would be awesome! We could play Be Me or Do Me Bingo in The Lounge every week!

          • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

            A weekly roundup.

    • FinnSteve

      To be honest, I would like to see more of the books chapters tagged to relevant posts on this site. I bought the book specifically because I love this site and the witty, insightful writing. So I actually like the bridge between this blog and the book that shows how the concepts and examples in the book are relevant now as well in the recent past and how interesting it is when they happen again. Only this time, TLo’s taken us behind the curtain and we can look for the behind the scenes handling and PR as well as what the press is reporting. And laugh or at least knowingly nod our heads with an Angela Bassett-esque purr of Mmm-hmm with a touch of side-eye.

      At least for me, it makes me want to re-read those tagged chapters in relation to the star being referenced to put an actual face on it. I think it will become more interesting as time goes on to find multiple stars tagged to the same chapters and see how that might alter the impressions of the concepts. (ie, Do you feel differently if its a star you love, a star you hate, a star you don’t know, or does age make a difference?)

      Which makes the book a living and almost interactive experience which I don’t think is a bad thing for those who love the incredible attention to detail and thought TLo puts into their posts.

      If posts that mentioned the book were relegated only to the book blog site, then a lot of us would miss out on the delicious vicarious thrill of seeing stars act of chapters of the book step by step. Not intending to argue, just stating that I find the links and references to the book enhance my reading of it which also adds additional depth to my enjoyment of this site. They go hand in hand — easy to ignore for those not interested and worth something to those who want it.

      • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

        “an Angela Bassett-esque purr of Mmm-hmm with a touch of side-eye” – I will die a happy woman if I ever achieve that.

      • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

        You are our favorite kitten today.

        • ecallaw1977

          Dying. One of my favorite things lately is that you are responding more in the comments. Maybe if you did it to everything it wouldn’t seem quite as special, but as it stands now, I get so excited to see what elicits a response from you and what you say! Okay, silly fangirl shutting up now.

          • @Biting Panda

            They once (gently) reprimanded me. I was burning in my cheeks like a little girl caught stealing candy. I swear, my own mother never had me feeling so penitent.

          • ecallaw1977

            Me TOO!!! And that is the perfect way to describe how I felt!

          • NYCGlamourpuss

            I know! I body-shamed Leo DiCaprio, and they properly but gently wrist-slapped me. I felt so bad, I edited my post and apologized!

          • demidaemon

            Same here, although I think mine was more of a time-out in the corner.

          • Violina23

            Yeah I went off-topic on the TV posts a few times and got into an innocent, but political-ish conversation with BK Sarah that got deleted and I felt AWFUL! *sheepish smile*

  • Pamdela

    I have been struggling for days to find the word or phase that best describes this type of male celebrity. Often famous too young, they come off as incredibly smug, self-satisfied idiots. They are certain that they are hip, cool, culturally relevant, and they are so obviously wrong. Douchebag? Dipshit? Jackass? Asshat? They are all of that, and yet I don’t think any of those words completely capture their delusional, needy, near-psychotic jerkiness. We may need a new word.

    • @Biting Panda

      If only George Carlin (RIP) were still here. He’d know what to call them.

      • Danielle

        One of the Seven Words You Can’t Say On TV, no doubt ;)

        • http://www.GiftedCollector.com/ The Gifted Collector

          I think the list has shrunk considerably since Mr. Carlin left us. People on the networks (as opposed to the premium channels, such as HBO, etc.) are being allowed to get away with more and more previously forbidden words. And what is still bleeped is so obvious, they might as well leave it in.

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

      I bet the Germans have a word for it.

      • ScarlettHarlot

        They always do! Although when I see him the word that generally comes to mind is Backpfeifengesicht.

        • alyce1213

          I had to look up a translation online. What I got (pretty funny):
          1) Clout round the ears face
          2) Baking whistle face
          3) Slaps in the face

          I’d love a human translation, please.

          • wavewalker

            Hard to translate. The meaning is “a face you’d like to hit”, since “Backpfeife” is a slap in the face. A Backpfeifengesicht usually is someone you’d like to hit before they even open their mouth. Evoking a violent reaction due to all around douchbaggery, for example..

          • alyce1213

            Perfect. Danke.

          • demidaemon

            Love this. I am so writing it down.

          • jabes

            That is an excellent word. There are just so, so many people that I could apply that to!

          • http://www.GiftedCollector.com/ The Gifted Collector

            I love that word! If only I could pronounce it.

      • kimmeister

        Oh crap, what was that awesome German word I learned here a few weeks ago? Ends with “schamen” or something along those lines, and means vicarious embarrassment.

    • Linzenberg

      I feel like it should involve the George Clooney quote about how people get stunted at the age they became famous. La Biebs is perpetually 12 in an adult’s body, same with Shia; whereas, say, Channing Tatum hit it big at age 24, and he’s known across the board as fairly humble and comfortable with who he is.

      Stuntholes? Douchestunts?

      • SugarSnap108

        Stuntholes is catchy.

      • Pamdela

        I like your logic. Stunt-tools? Jerk-stunts? Or maybe we use the word “wienie” to imply the fact that they’ve never grown up. Dip-wienie?

      • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

        Stuntdouche?

      • NYCGlamourpuss

        Or we could put a game show spin on it. Douchetestants!

        • demidaemon

          Since someone mentioned George Carlin above, this reminds me of the bit where he has contestants guessing what someone is: A Jerkoff, Asshole, or Scumbag. Seems apropos, no?

    • AzSportsGirl

      DickWad is my personal favorite.

  • kat89

    I’m scared for him. Clearly he has no one in his life to step in and help him. At least when Brittany did it her father (finally) stepped up and took control, and Amanda Bynes’ parents got involved and got help for her. It seems like he doesn’t have anyone in his life who is actually concerned for his well-being. That’s tragic.

    • Aldona Dye

      Yeah…he pulled out his own tooth! Can there at least be talk of a possible drug/mental health problem before anyone starts judging?? Also, I really like that suit.

      • NYCGlamourpuss

        Isn’t that one of the most hilarious things about this? Not only does he look fabulous in that tux, but the brown paper bag only helps! (*RIMSHOT!*) Thank you, thank you, I’m here all week!

        • demidaemon

          Love it!

    • monty

      I’m not trying to be mean, but it always blows my mind when people misspell Britney Spears’ first name wrong. She is literally the most famous woman in the world. Like, the whole wide word. How does one do that??

      • http://www.GiftedCollector.com/ The Gifted Collector

        It’s her parents’ fault. They didn’t give her the standard spelling. Poor kid could never buy a key ring or a miniature license plate in a souvenir store.

      • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

        Literally the whole wide world? I think Miss Oprah (which I can spell) might want a word about that. I always spell Britney Spears name wrong because I don’t care enough about her to double check.

        • monty

          Nah. Go to remote places (to Americans) like Zihuatanejo, Mexico or Los Angeles, Chile–and they’ll know who Ms. Britney Jeans Spears is. The probably watched her 2007 meltdown and felt the same superiority complex we did. Ask one of those kids who juggles in front of cars for a living in Mexico City who Oprah is–they’ll be like, “Who?”

  • eowyn_of_rohan

    Indy needs to take the bullwhip to his son and teach him a few lessons. I don’t advocate corporal punishment, but when it comes to LeBeef, I think it’s warranted.

  • YoungSally

    At least he is in Berlin….such performance art is sehr Deutsch, nein?

    • http://armchairauthor.wordpress.com/ LesYeuxHiboux

      If only it were a black bag. Arztkoffer!

  • Lesley

    whata douche bag…litteraly.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

      No, that’s a paper bag, but there is an opportunity here for douche companies to start making bags big enough to cover people’s heads. It could be good advertising for the douche companies.

      • Lesley

        haha touché

        • http://myriameron.blogspot.com/ Heron

          Douché, amirite?

          • ecallaw1977

            hahahahahahaha

  • Lilithcat

    I think more celebrities should wear paper bags over their heads.

  • cocohall

    Half of me thinks he is in the middle of a very serious mental break, and then the other half thinks that his suit looks way too good and his shoes are polished, and even the writing on the bag looks like it was done by someone with artistic talent and plus the eye holes are perfectly lined up. I bet multiple bags were made until the “fit” was just right. And of course, what better way to ensure your fame or infamy than pulling a stunt like this? Still, Shia. Syria. Darfur. Poverty. Illiteracy. Actual tragedies. How are we to muster concern for you for being traumatized by fame? You can walk away. Literally. Just walk away.

    • looklook

      “…plus the eye holes are perfectly lined up. I bet multiple bags were made until the ‘fit’ was just right.”

      I always thought they just poke holes on the bag where the eyes should be while the wearer is wearing it and just hope for the best.

    • Rand Ortega

      Do you think he hired a “bag stylist”? He seems the type.

      • cocohall

        You have to wonder. That bag doesn’t look like a random, spur-of-the-moment effort. I bet he had some sort of assistance. He needs to find himself some new friends that would tell him, “That bag is so funny, but it stays here in the hotel room, Shia.”

  • SugarSnap108

    I know nothing about him, which is probably for the best. It’s mildly interesting that he still chose to wear a tux, and it’s better fitting than most boy-stars’. Meh.

    • Jean Marie Downing

      Nothing says cooly jaded like a paper bag.

  • NYCGlamourpuss

    Awww, poor wubby with his ridiculous “I’m not famous anymore” plea to be paid attention to. Self-fulfilling prophecy, Shia, that’s all I’m sayin’.

  • Sarah

    Aaw. I feel bad for him because: Holes. I choose to think about the rest of his “career”….not.

    • Violina23

      I feel the same way about Lindsay Lohan: I saw the Parent Trap remake with my mom, and she was great in “Mean Girls”. I’m choosing to believe that she stopped acting after that :-)

  • Janet B

    Thanks Shia for reminding me you are still around. Your tux has been tailored well.

    • formerlyAnon

      Mission accomplished, then, right?

  • AvaLehra

    Wait…are we sure this isn’t the Unknown Comic trying to make a comeback?

    • AvaLehra

      Also, I just seriously dated myself with that reference…

      • boweryboy

        And I seriously dated myself by knowing exactly who you are talking about.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

        But you’re educating the rest of us with those types of references.

    • Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

      My first thought was, “Oh, look! Now he’s stealing ideas from the Unknown Comic.”

      What his bag should really say is “I have no original ideas”.

      • demidaemon

        I thought that was implicit in everything he did.

  • colleenjanel

    “I’m not famous anymore, but LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!!!!!” Hypocrisy at its finest.

    • decormaven

      in same vein: “Don’t look at the fat ass losers or freaks, look at me!”

  • ChristopherM

    I wish he had chosen plastic instead of paper.

    • formerlyAnon

      Snap.

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

      Autoerotic asphyxiation can be his next stunt.

      • formerlyAnon

        Please. Let it be neither fatal nor in any other way brought to my attention. The line about not scaring the horses goes triple for people whose sex life has never, even fleetingly, crossed my mind.

    • Violina23

      *snort*

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      Ooooh, SHADE!!

  • Glam Dixie

    Look! It’s a perfect representation of a paper bag containing a steaming pile of shit. Now someone just needs to put it on his front porch and set it on fire.

  • LipstickForPigs

    That’s the bag from the liquor store he hit on the way to the premier.

  • boweryboy

    He should keep the bag on permanently – it’s a vast improvement. Hell, if I’m going there he should also keep his clothes on.

  • Kent Roby

    Y’all SAY that this is Shia, but are we sure that it’s not Gaga AS Shia making another profound statement about art, celebrity, and, like, astrophysics or something? It’s so hard to keep up.

  • http://www.lifeinspice.com/ rose88

    Might I suggest a new category for your year-end lists? In addition to Best and Worst dressed you should add Douchiest Looks of the Year — even though it’s only February, I can’t believe that anything would top this!

    • twigg

      or maybe a “WTF is this” category?

      • Courtney

        Mightn’t that get mixed up with Willis it the F Up? I’ve thought the wrong thing several times when I see one of those posts.

        • twigg

          Fair point!

  • Betsy

    I am seriously embarrassed for him. But he really is just stating the obvious, no?

  • nannypoo

    I’m not sure if he deserves criticism or pity or both. It’s definitely pathetic and desperate, but I wonder if he needs psychiatric help.

  • Noah

    I’ve been waiting all day for this commentary. Also: tis the full Chernobyl indeed.

  • CLoverleaf

    I think we should realize he’s promoting a Lars von Trier movie, which is probably likely to have its own controversy, given von Trier’s history with going nutso at film festivals and his own antics at this same event. I would not be the least bit surprised to find out this whole thing is some sort of “performance art.”

  • formerlyAnon

    I feel certain that if he appears at too many more photo ops with his face obscured he will be even less famous. Though I’m sure his publicist is monitoring the number of times one can do this and have it garner as much media as a straight appearance (twice, maybe? thrice, tops?) and will have goons planted at future red carpets to divest him of paper bags once they are a net negative.

    On the plus side, when one’s work so accurately reflects celebrity behavior, it sure does make flogging it easier, doesn’t it? Shooting fish in a barrel, indeed.

  • Loramir

    Sorry Shia, but non-famous people generally don’t generally attend international film festivals, dress up in tuxes, and pose for the cameras on the red carpet. If you *really* didn’t want to be famous any more, you wouldn’t be there.

    (Unless it’s contractually obligated, I guess? Though I’m pretty sure his employers would rather he stayed home than show up looking like a nutcase and walking out of press conferences. Then again, publicity is publicity…)

  • ScarlettHarlot

    Is he trying to prove he can act his way out of one?

    • Jean Marie Downing

      Hee. Trying and failing, clearly.

  • TRSTL

    Tool……….

  • Richard Banger

    “Boo! You whore.” – Regina George

  • Alyssa

    If only Shia…if only. Since he started a list for me of people who I’d like to no longer be famous, I will add the Kardashians, the Hiltons, various Housewives, and anyone from Jersey Shore. Who else am I missing? It’s Monday, so my brain is a little slow…I’m sure there are more! :)

    • boweryboy

      The Duck Dynasty guys.

      • demidaemon

        Donald Trump.

    • Swiftlytiltingplanet

      Abby Lee

    • http://www.GiftedCollector.com/ The Gifted Collector

      Honey BooBoo and Mama June.

  • Violina23

    I think this is hilarious in the lamest way possible

  • ovarB

    Never knew that it would be necessary to ponder “paper or plastic” in selecting accessories for the red carpet. It seems perhaps many would have wished he answered this question with “plastic.”

    • http://www.snoskred.org/ Snoskred

      I would like to recommend the environmentally friendly option of a reusable shopping bag.

      Preferably a pink one, just cos that is how I roll.. :)

  • Ashleigh

    I was thinking…perhaps he has a point to make…The objectification of blah blah blah. The callousness of the biz yada yada…but then I thought, why even attend if you’re gonna be a party poop? Just stay home!!

  • Ashleigh

    I kinda wish his fly was down…THAT would be great!

  • Josefina Madariaga Suárez

    With the starting words in this post, you just captured my whole reaction to him.

  • Blake Lagneaux

    Uneven Stevens

  • msdamselfly

    He looks well dressed. I also think the mask is cool–nice to see a statement other than the usual complacent and hypocritical sales job that we usually get.

    • Jean Marie Downing

      Because standing there getting your picture taken on a red carpet while proclaiming your lack of fame… is not hypocritical?

      And hands in the pockets are all about the lack of complacency?

      Isn’t this whole thing a “I’m an artist, so forget how I plagiarized ACTUAL artists” sales job? If he really wanted to make a statement, he could have not shown up, due to his new anonymity. Or been a person taking pictures instead of appearing in them. Or been a perfectly composed individual on the red carpet doing his job and made an actual statement.

      I’m honestly intrigued to see someone giving him credit here, but I’m not following your reasoning at all.

  • Erica Warfield

    Why is he an ass hole? I feel like I missed something. Possibly a twerk scandal?

    Also, I do not care. We should discuss something a bit more significant.

    • http://www.snoskred.org/ Snoskred

      Perhaps you missed the large paper bag on his head with big black text on it?

      Just a guess, I am not aware of anything else he has done which merits the ass label.. :)

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

      He plagiarised someone else’s work, got caught, was a total douche about the apology and hasn’t stopped being a cockwomble since.

      • http://www.snoskred.org/ Snoskred

        Oh, I missed that one, will have to google! ;)

        • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

          Check The Guardian online – they had some good pieces on it.

      • SugarSnap108

        I can’t wait to use “cockwomble” in a conversation. Thank you.

      • filmcricket

        Cockwomble is the best word I’ve ever heard.

        Further to what someone upthread said about people stopping their growth at the age they became famous, it’s probably not a surprise that the child actors who take time off to get an education tend to be more likely to avoid completely burning out. At the very least, I suspect Jodie Foster, Natalie Portman, et al would know that it’s wrong to plagiarize.

        • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

          It’s good, isn’t it? Someone I follow on twitter introduced me to cockwomble.

      • Rand Ortega

        “Cockwomble”. Reason 11dyzillion why I love this site & everyone in it.

    • natty_bat

      He plagiarized a not-unfamous comic artist for a short film, got busted, gave a non-pology (which it turns out was ALSO plagiarized,) got busted again, gave a series of non-pologies in which he claimed all information wants to be free and quoted a bunch of other people unreferenced, got called out repeatedly and thoroughly, got butthurt, and decided to “quit show biz.”

      We see how well that’s going.

      • MilaXX

        and despite quitting showbiz, continues to tweet “I am not famous”.

        • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

          I only just saw the thing about him tweeting it as well. What an utter cock.

      • SugarSnap108

        Yuck. I didn’t know any of the background. What a cockwombling stunthole (putting my new TLo-acquired vocab into effect).

      • Erica Warfield

        Yeah I know about that. I guess I didn’t realize everyone hated him for it. Bummer. Oh well.

        • natty_bat

          Well, the original offense is a “whatever, jerk” move that could probably be excused if he were at all contrite, but piling on layers of obfuscation, misdirection, self-justification, and general bullshittery in place of a simple “I screwed up” is what confirms that he wears his own ass as a hat. Or possibly as a scarf.

          • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

            Or belt.

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

      “Also, I do not care. We should discuss something a bit more significant.”

      Like what?

      • Erica Warfield

        Like politics, or global issues. There’s a lot of shit going on in the world.

        • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

          This may not be the right site for you.

          • Erica Warfield

            I’m realizing that now. From the headline I saw on facebook, it seemed like a more intelligent discussion would happen.

        • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

          Go away.

        • save_the_hobbit

          Right, let’s count on a website dedicated to fashion for our world news.

        • Swiftlytiltingplanet

          Do you even know where you are?

          • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

            She got lost on the way to the United Nations. It’s an easy mistake to make.

        • AnnaleighBelle

          You can only focus on VERY IMPORTANT THINGS or VERY UNIMPORTANT THINGS!

          Human beings are not capable of being interested in both human rights and fashion…

          • Violina23

            Okay you just made me spit out what I was drinking… LOL

      • kittentoes

        Cats. Cats are significant.

        • demidaemon

          I could talk about cats all day. They also like paper bags.

          • Swiftlytiltingplanet

            And wear them much so much better!

          • demidaemon

            Especially when they poke their cute little faces out of them!

          • Swiftlytiltingplanet

            Precisely!

  • merciblahblah

    What a Douchenozzle. He is trying SO hard to stay relevant. And his pants in that second photo look like high-waters.

  • rarero

    When you say douche, I hear tush. I am digging his apple bottom and in fact don’t mind the paper bag at all.

    • formerlyAnon

      Proof of the “there’s always a silver lining” principle. :-)

  • MilaXX

    People are claiming he’s having an Amanda Bynes/Britney Spears meltdown. I’m still thinking he’s a giant douche or at best doing a Joaquin Phoenix attempt. Prior to this he spouted some more plagiarized lines at a press conference and walked out. I’m over Shia.

  • NMMagpie

    Just another famous person who thinks that fame puts him above others so he can indulge his vanity by despising it. Moving on.

  • BobStPaul

    But the fact is he’s never looked better…..

    • Garcia Loca

      I think the paper bag might have something to do with that.

      • BobStPaul

        Actually, it has everything to do with it.

  • Carleenml

    Brilliant deduction!

  • AzSportsGirl

    He’s a plagiarist, bad actor and annoys me. LOL.

  • Michael Podell

    Like, if you really “aren’t famous anymore” than stay off the red carpet. C’MON LOUIS stop being such a Beans

  • marlie

    How do we even know that it’s Shia? Maybe he decided that he didn’t feel like going to the premiere, so he got someone to stand in for him with the excuse of it being another part of his “performance art” stage.

  • GorgeousThings

    Havent gotten to that chapter yet so I can’t discuss fully, but this is a total douchebag outing.

  • alyce1213

    How calculated and crazy. Inevitably, somewhere down the road, we’ll hear about his triumphant comeback.

    It even annoys me that his name is spelled LeBeouf, not LeBoeuf.

  • LauraWL

    I somehow missed all this fiasco until today. I credit caring more about fashion than celebrity. Either way, I did think LaBeouf was a pretty good actor until a few years ago when I realized that either the guy could not pick a good vehicle or was really not a very good actor. Also re: Joaquin Phoenix similarities. I think the 2 of them actually have similar backgrounds: non traditional families, family histories of substance abuse, so it makes sense that his team is trying to spin LaBeouf’s “meltdown” as “performance art.” The difference tho is that Phoenix has taken whatever deep wounding he feels life has given him and freaking laid it bare on screen in really talented ways that sort of redeem the “performance art” thing he did. I cannot say the same for LaBeouf.

  • FoxInSocks

    What a maroon. Although I am kind of hoping he shows up to the next one wearing “Ceci n’est pas une pipe”. Then maybe “It’s not delivery”.

  • KinoEye

    Of course he’s an ass, but I really can’t think of anything better to wear to the premiere of a Lars von Trier film. Beware, kittens. The manufactured insanity is only beginning. LeBeouf + von Trier = Attention Whore Match Made in Heaven.

    • Imasewsure

      That actually makes me feel better about his ridiculousness here. I felt bad for the director and the actual adults he was working with… if they are also AWMMiH then no one gets hurt (except us of course)

      • KinoEye

        If you’re ever bored sometime, check out von Trier’s Wikipedia page. That hits all the high points.

    • in a pickle

      Yep, I watched Breaking the Waves and have assiduously avoided that creepy misogynist ever since.

  • teensmom99

    Ironically, some guy finally gets the tailoring right on his red carpet tux and it’s this dude.

  • algaechick

    I used to find him sweet and adorable as a child actor (Holes), then mildly entertaining in a deliberately-dorky way (1st Transformers). Now I’m just sad when I see stories about him, and have no desire to watch a movie that has him in it.

  • Glenn Johnson

    Shia Lebeouf is not worthy of this get-up, The Elephant Man is spinning in his grave!

  • http://armchairauthor.wordpress.com/ LesYeuxHiboux

    I think this is infinitely more interesting than what Miley is doing right now, but I was educated in and inhabit the realm of would-be conceptual artist douchebags. Meltdown of a former child star, but is there any mettle to salvage?

  • elaine benes

    Someone should be taken out back and shot. Who is responsible for that hemming/lack of pressing?!

  • jw_ny

    He may be an ass, but he’s a cute ass, and has a cute ass…;)

    I’m not sure I get why he felt the need to make a statement like this and go out like this, but I wish him well. I’ve enjoyed him as an actor. Really kind of a contradiction tho, as this stunt is likely to get him more attention than if he just poledanced quietly along the RC.

    • demidaemon

      That’s about his only redeeming quality. And look, he already covered his mouth so we can enjoy it in peace!

  • hmatz

    Dear TLo:

    Just since you mentioned your book in this post, I thought you’d like to know that this faithful bitter kitten is a bookstore employee who put “Everyone Wants to Be Me or Do Me” right by the cash register with a big pink “Staff Recommends” on it.

    • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

      Thank you, doll! Luvyameanit!

  • http://urban-gypsy.com/ Tess Danesi

    At least he followed the instructions on the back and recycled the bag. That’s all I got. What a douchecanoe.

  • Imasewsure

    Hopefully he’s not just playing with us and will actually retire, spend his wads of $$ and disappear. We want to miss you but you won’t go away!!

  • Adrianna Grężak

    When I saw these pictures, my first thought was literally “I wonder if Tom and Lorenzo will post about this”

  • Joanna

    Um, . . . . who? (I hope that doesn’t put this young person totally over the edge – I wouldn’t want to be responsible for that!)

  • Daktari100

    Was he ever really that famous to begin with? Maybe for a short time, but he hasn’t been noteworthy for very long, certainly not long enough for the proclamation written over his face.

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      he has to remind those (most) of us who didn’t know he was famous in the first place. all i ever knew about him was his name is “the beef” misspelled.also reminiscent of pepe le peu.

  • littlevase

    Is anyone else in love with the hand lettering on the bag? The shape, the kerning…….. !

    • Jacqueline Wessel

      Yes! It’s bold and easy to read; nicely centered, too. Looks like it was drawn with a nice juicy brush.

  • Shibori Girl

    Too bad there isn’t someone standing next to him with a bag that reads, ” That is correct – you aren’t famous anymore” or perhaps the classic, “I’m with Stupid”

  • Trickytrisha

    Joaquin Phoenix redux?

    • LambeeBaby

      Exactly.

  • psychoblonde

    Nothing to discuss…he’s an ass, sums it up!

  • MissusBee

    This could be witty if he was on vacation being papped having breakfast, but when he’s on the clock, doing his outrageously well-paid job, it’s lame and rude.

  • bellafigura1

    I must say, the tux fits him beautifully, and yeah he’s an ass, but … nice ass.

  • save_the_hobbit

    STOP IT THIS INSTANT LOUIS STEVENS. YOU ARE RUINING MY CHILDHOOD.

  • Jacqueline Wessel

    The bar code on the bag really makes it for me.

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      i love the fit in the back, too…

  • demidaemon

    I laughed out loud at the thumbnail. Oh Shia, you are so dumb, and you are pretending the world doesn’t know it. The only good thing is that we don’t have to see your dumb face.

  • AnnaleighBelle

    If you have children…don’t put them in professional show business. Just don’t. I don’t see how the risks are worth the perks. Fame and money and youth are not a healthy cocktail.

  • KT

    THE WORST

  • Lisa M. (ReVoir) Kramp

    With this, I feel the need to resurrect an old gay phrase from the late 70′s…”Spare me, Shia!”

  • quiltrx

    It’s too bad he was busy being a twat, because the suit fit is terrific.

  • River

    It’s what non-celebs do too, girls and women internalize, boys and men “act out” (generally speaking). Celebs just do it bigger and messier. Shia=UGH.

  • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

    “chest thumping and demanding respect for their entitlement”…biebs, are your ears burning?

  • little_miss_strange

    Seriously disrespectful of this rich motherfucker, I wouldn’t mind being flown around the world and hanging out at film premieres and not having to do shit else.

    You don’t like it Shia, then you go get yourself a real job and shut your ass up.

  • LambeeBaby

    He should have written “I am a douche bag”… Then again it would not have been acting.

    • Alexander Peterhans

      Don’t need the paper bag for that.

  • e jerry powell

    Okay.. One, and only one, upside to men with hands in their pockets is when they’re being shot from the rear.

  • muelonil

    At first glance I thought this said “I am a fame whore.” That might be more accurate.