Naomi Watts in Christopher Kane at the Bulgari Fall 2014 Accessories Presentation

Posted on February 25, 2014

Maybe it’s not fair to do this, but compare the dress as it appears on the model with the dress as it appears on Naomi.




Naomi Watts attends the Bulgari Fall 2014 Accessories Presentation during Milan Fashion Week  in a Christopher Kane dress accessorized with Bulgari jewelry.

Christopher Kane Pre-Fall 2014 Collection

It just looks much neater (and more chic) when the edges all line up exactly, as on the model. With Naomi, it looks like she’s busting out of it, which is silly, of course, because Naomi’s pretty much model-sized herself. We’re not sure what happened in the translation from runway to red carpet, but Naomi’s version looks to sloppy to us. And judging by the body language in that last shot, she thinks so too.

But hey, nice diamonds. We would expect no less for a Bulgari event, of course. They probably have candy dishes of diamonds scattered around the room.





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  • Kathy_Marlow

    Maybe it is a velcro dress and that’s how they get her into it? it is better all neatly lined up though.

    • Lucía Gavello

      I’m afraid it IS VELCRO… velcro with Bulgari diamonds, I can’t EVEN.

      • tereliz

        The final pic would suggest that it is.

        I CAN’T EVEN x infinity

    • muelonil

      Velcro seems practical given her and Liev’s pre-red carpet reputation 😉

      • mixedupfiles

        It does look like she just didn’t put herself back together very well, after the shenanigans.

      • homofascist

        I ain’t even mad at her. If I was humping on Liev I would struggle to get dressed myself…

  • geans

    It’s borderline “can’t unsee the bacon.”

    • LJCdoc

      Very first thought I had.

  • KingCrazy

    This dress is only slightly less ugly than the variation we saw the other day. I hope this velcro looking dress thing is not becoming a “thing.”

    • Evan

      Yes, I thought I saw this on somebody else. Who was it?

      • gabbilevy

        Felicity Jones at the Elle style awards. The velcro was just the top half, but just as ugly.

        • Clash D

          Thank you! I knew I saw that band aid wrap somewhere downthread.

    • Carleenml

      srsly. or normal people everywhere will be busting out all over whenever they exhale. not pretty.

    • Coolekat

      It was hideous the other day and it’s triple horrible this time. Why on earth would anyone choose this?

  • Lolo Andre

    I disagree. I really like the misaligned edges.It makes the dress more interesting

    • tereliz

      I don’t agree because I feel like the overlapping is messing up her silhouette.

    • Rhonda Shore

      I like it better on Naomi too. She looks sexier, the model looks more sterile.

  • DinaSews

    ‘Candy dishes of diamonds’. I want to go to a party where those exist.

    • decormaven


  • Anna

    Again with this dress?? This iteration is even worse than the Felicity Jones one.

  • charlotte

    It always looks like velcro. On everyone.

  • hughman

    On the plus side, she will always be able to monitor her blood pressure.

    • DebbieLovesShoes


  • J.W.

    Reminds me of those shoes with the Velcro straps made for people too young or too old to tie their shoes.

    • charlotte

      I wanted velcro shoes badly when I was in preschool because they were “cool”. It didn’t matter that my mother kept telling me to be proud of being able to tie my shoes.

  • fursa_saida

    I’m just going to ignore the dress because I have nothing to say about it and focus on SNAKE NECKLACE. How does that thing even work? Can you turn it around so the snakey bits are in front, if you feel like it? (It seems like it must be flexible, not sculptural, no?) Who do I have to rob for it?

    Also, I hate the model’s shoes.

    • kimmeister

      That necklace is all kinds of awesome.

    • SierraDelta

      Is the necklace a snake or a crocodile? It seems too. . .jointed?. . . to be a snake, which I think would be smoother, more sinuous.

      • fursa_saida

        No legs, though. There’s some sort of gecko that’s evolved to have no legs; we could compromise there.

  • MilaXX

    It’s still an ugly look. It was ugly when someone wore the shirt version of it last week, and making it into a dress doesn’t help. Love the snake necklace though.

  • demidaemon

    Well, that’s a new version of asymmetry. I think it’s making me cross-eyed. Again.

  • Laura Renee

    Best necklace I’ve seen in ages, though.

  • another_laura

    Looks like perfectly lined up you wouldn’t be able to move! Silly dress.

  • Adrianna Grężak

    Seriously, who thought this was a good idea. I’m sure she had plenty of other dresses to choose from, considering her frame/body is easy to dress. Incredibly sloppy

  • Sarah

    The Velcro action makes her look like she’s suffering from bedazzled carpal tunnel torso.

    • kimmeister

      Totally. I pooh-poohed the other dress for giving Felicity Jones a cylindrical torso, and this one is doing the same thing.

  • crash1212

    Well, now I’m curious about the construction of this thing. Do you suppose all those flaps Velcro on? And that perhaps somebody with less than stellar Velcro-ing skills put her into it? Her head looks great and I love the shoes and the backwards snake necklace.

    • Carleenml

      Steller Velcro Skills. The Napoleon Dynamite of Stylists should have this.

  • Stella Zawistowski

    Didn’t some other celeb just wear this ridiculous thing recently? T.Lo is right, it doesn’t look half bad on the model, but if the dress starts to look like that the minute it actually goes out into the real world, it’s not a good design.

  • boweryboy

    I’m beginning to think it’s a velcro dress, and that she was in such a hurry to get to the red carpet after using the ladies room that she didn’t have time to correctly velcro it shut. That’s the only logical explanation I can come up with.

    • marlie

      OMG… that is probably the only way you could go to the bathroom in that thing. There’s no hiking it up!

      • boweryboy

        Yeah, that’s my only excuse for this. When she got there it was perfect but then she had to use the ladies room and didn’t have anyone to help her strap it back together neatly.

    • Sarah

      It occurs to me that there is probably no way to maintain the horizontal attitude of the Velcro tabs with actual breasts and hips, too. I mean, hook-and-loop fastening is always really stiff in my experience, and it probably doesn’t contour well.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Are the strips fastened with velcro for ease of access during the limo action we all know she and Liev get up to?

  • jilly_d

    It’s really a shame because that necklace is a knockout. Who wears that necklace with a velcro dress? I feel like a drunk stylist is to blame here.

  • Carleenml

    She’s so gorgeous. And I wish Nicole had taped her photo up by her phone and looked at it every time she thought about having work done. But she can’t help this dress. I’m assuming the edges only ever line up on a body that is never in motion.

  • jw_ny

    She needed the assistance of someone with a laser level to align all those velcro flaps…

  • Yolanda13

    “Candy dishes of diamonds.” I want to go to THAT party!

  • colleenjanel

    Velcro dress is making me think of my wrist brace. Maybe she is suffering from carpal tunnel … all over her body.

  • SugarSnap108

    This is a body-length version of my knee brace. But not as pretty.

  • marlie

    This collection didn’t work on Felicity Jones a few days ago; it’s even worse on Naomi. Just say NO to velcro dresses.

  • frannyprof

    It looks like one of those wrist wraps you get when you have carpal tunnel. A carpal tunnel dress. Bad idea on paper, bad in real life.

  • Janet B


  • Kent Roby

    The dress featured earlier with the bodice out of this treatment was bad enough; having an entire dress out of it is too painful to unsee.

    • Jacob Bowen

      I was wondering why it felt like deja vu.

  • B_C_J

    Perhaps the dress does not hold up (align properly) once you sit down in a car like I am sure she had to do. I love the fabric & the color but this is a perfect example of a concept completely failing the practical application
    Shame on the designer & her stylist for letting her go out like this.

  • sagecreek

    Looks like a Project Runway challenge…here, use ALL this velcro!

    • kimmeister

      And cover it with fuchsia snake duct tape!

  • msdamselfly

    Couldnt disagree more. Looks so much better on Naomi despite the irregularity.

  • homofascist

    The model has the benefit of just standing still and getting her picture taken once the dress is perfect. I am imagining poor Naomi’s need to, like, move around and stuff probably didn’t help keep everything in place.

  • Emily

    I think it makes the model look VERY wide in the hips which would seem to be the opposite of what most women want.

  • Akemi

    It looks like she is being grabbed by a giant pink hand.

  • SketchyCat

    I’m sorry, but I can’t condone a dress made out of snap bracelets.

  • Alyssa

    I wonder if it was velcro-ed straight when she left her house, then after her adventures in the limo with Liev, they just couldn’t get it straight again and she decided just to wing it. Love the necklace though…me want!

  • podgepodge

    The shirt was giving me Velcro.
    This dress is giving me tongues. Can’t unsee.

  • FrigidDiva

    From the angle on the last picture, you can see the velcro on the underside of the tab, so it does appear that yes, the whole dress is something you’d have to be strapped into. It reminds of a leg brace you put on a horse. I just can’t believe it’s been paired with those diamonds.

  • Jacob Bowen

    Liev clearly has a hard enough time getting her bra off in the limo, so she needed a dress that could rip off easy, like stripper clothes.

  • berkeleygirl

    The dress may have its issues, but her face is flawless. Fortunately, unlike her best friend Nicole, Watts has never touched her face, and is more beautiful than ever.

  • Stefanie Argudo Mackenzie

    I had a big surgery on my lower abdomen needing 127 staples to close it. I also had 3 big Velcro belts I had to wear over the area for 8 weeks; 24/7. Give those belts some rounded edges and a design…there you go. Hospital supply couture. I guarantee the model wasn’t allowed to breathe or move.

  • gsk241

    It looks like a sweater buttoned wrong…

  • I can hear the velcro ripping apart from here. And the color makes me think of every bad shirt I owned in the 80s. That is one unflattering dress on the model and Naomi.

  • Amanda Miller

    Maybe it’s because I just watched the first episode of RPDR, but…. All I see is bacon.

  • ChristyDee1

    Velcro fail!

  • megexpat

    VELCRO?!?! since when did velcro become acceptable in high fashion?!

  • alyce1213

    This is even worse than the one of Felicity Jones. It looks like an eyeglass case.

  • Alfred Cox

    Ehhhhh. It SHOULD have been a showstopper, but comes off a little awkward. Which is sad, considering its Naomi Watts and her waifish, always stick thin figure. For me, a huge disappointment and my worst dressed of the year so far, simply because she can do better and this dress should have been a personal best for her. One big fail.

  • kimmeister

    She was probably talked into this purely based on how good her butt looks in it.

  • Maybe if they Vecro-ed it snugly enough that it stayed lined up, it was too tight to walk in? The model’s dress doesn’t look like it’s got much “give” to it. Cute look, though. Never been a fan of Bulgari designs, they always seem too much for me. Graff or Van Cleef & Arpels suit me better, thanks.

  • Beto

    What the hell happened there? C’mon! It’s fucking velcro ON A RED CARPET. Ugh!

  • livesarah

    I think the model looks like a pupae. I actually prefer it on Naomi.

  • Deedles

    Lawd have mercy. It’s a pink and black strapless version of Ms. Kelly Mantle’s creation from RPDR!

  • bassfemme

    I jogged to Heaven 17 using a neoprene Walkman carrying case that looked just like this.

  • It looks horrible whether the band-aids line up or not.

  • Synnamin

    what happened is that she didn’t bother lining up the Velcro straps. This is a Velcro strap dress. Velcro. straps. AIIIIEEEEEE!!!!

  • Jacqueline Wessel

    God I hate Velcro on clothing (and shoes and bags). But I love that necklace, in fact I lust after that necklace.

  • LaSylphide

    Somebody needs How To Use Velcro lessons.

  • MzzPants

    Look at that buckling at the back waist, a clear indicator that it’s too fucking tight, even if she is model sized.

  • quiltrx

    It’s the Velcro equivalent of missing a button. YIKES.
    But that necklace is absolutely amazing and ALMOST distracts me from the dress fuckery.

  • Dagney

    I like it on Naomi. And muscles FTW.

  • annrr

    I can’t not see the bacon.

  • Fancy pantyliners.

  • SylviaFowler

    Dress looks like it’s made out of slap bracelets.

  • Corsetmaker

    She’s wearing it lower, that’s why it’s not sitting right and buckling at the back.
    On the model it’s right up under the arms and it fastens across the top of the boobs. On Naomi it’s an inch or two lower to show cleavage. The straps are spaced differently to follow the figure, so they’re out of place. That and sloppy dressing.

  • MissFern

    All I see is bacon.

  • Melanie