Kelly Rowland in Juan Carlos Obando the 2014 amfAR New York Gala

Posted on February 06, 2014

This is the kind of dress that causes one to irrationally think “Stop! Stop! You’re ruining it!” as one takes it all in.

And when we say “one,” we mean ourselves, of course. Just one more thing we have in common with Queen Elizabeth.



Kelly Rowland attends the 2014 amfAR New York Gala at Cipriani Wall Street in New York City in Juan Carlos Obando.

Juan Carlos Obando Resort 2014

It’s just TOO MUCH DRESS. And it looks so heavy. You could remove half the design elements (and half the fabric) and have a decent dress.  The shoes are such a headscratcher of a choice too. We really didn’t need one more visual element to pull our eyes in another direction. This was a time for neutral shoes. Actually, scratch that. This was the time for a different dress entirely.



[Photo Credit: Frazer Harrison, Michael Loccisano/Getty Images,]

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  • @Biting Panda

    Did Julia Roberts teach her nothing?

  • Needs a wind machine to give it life. But those odd squares of white sticking out at the hem look like she got some toilet paper stuck in her undies.

    • Anna

      Too funny! I didn’t even notice that.

    • random_poster

      Agree. This is totally a dress that needs to be in motion in order to work. Let’s try not to visualize the flying toilet paper aspect of that, mkay?

    • JauntyJohn

      Absolutely right. In a breeze at Cannes – with luck and good timing when the photogs went wild — this could be a win. But standing there posing my first thought was “saggy and baggy.”

    • Lilithcat

      I think those odd squares of white are the lining.

    • mjude


    • zenobar

      Yikes, you’re exactly right.

      Also, a hanky hemline will never not read “Homecoming 1986” to me.

  • Sobaika


    You know, I could deal with it if all that fabric wasn’t taking up her neck. It looks suffocating. The model’s neckline seems simpler. I’d deal with it but I’d be mad about it.

    • Lucía Gavello

      I reeeeally want to take a pair of scissors to that dress.

    • ana170

      It’s not simpler, she just has the ties hanging off. As for Kelly, it’s cold in NY right now. Having the neck hang open might work for a resort look but it’d look foolish in this weather.

  • Diego!

    I think those shoes are ruining the overall look. But that dress is almost impossible to wear. Honey, use it as table cloth!

  • Lori

    I was kind of willing to play along until I got down to the hem, but that and the shoes are so very wrong. Also, the neck tie needs to be left untied, like on the model. I think tying it is a big part of what making Kelly’s look so overwhelming even before you get to the horror of the bottom third.

    • Aurumgirl

      But if you evened out the hem, you’d basically have a secretary’s dress from somewhere in the mid 1980’s. What is the point of that?

      • Lori

        Well, I didn’t say I loved it. “Willing to play along” is pretty low praise from me. Even if you fixed the hem, untied the tie and chose shoes that we not a total WTF? I wouldn’t wear this to have my picture taken. It looks reasonably comfortable, so I might wear it to lunch or something, but not on a step and repeat.

  • SewingSiren

    Beautiful hair and face. Love the neck and wrist details on the dress, but the handkerchief hem is a bridge too far.

    • homofascist

      Face is GORGE! She at least kept the upper part simple…

  • Evan

    It’s making it look like her left boob is saggy.

  • Anna

    This dress would be perfect for Paula Patton. Think of all the hilarious pose-harding moments she could have with the necktie, wrist-ties, flounces and ruffles. Suffice it to say that if this is a potential Paula Patton dress, then it’s sure as fuck not your dress, Kelly Rowland. Get yourself something pretty!

    • Evan

      There’s not enough skin showing for it to be Paula Patton’s dress. She would have to put a giant slit in it somewhere.

      • Anna

        I have complete and utter faith in her ability to make very expensive clothes look cheap that she will find a way!

        You’re right about the giant slit though, it would be front AND back.

        • demidaemon

          Also, the neckline would have to come down to THERE, if you know what I mean.

  • Sarah

    I’d say that if you’re unwrapping from mummy-time, you should probably go with a sandal rather than a golden pump, but that’s just me.

  • Pennymac

    Just all kinds of wrong, here, starting with “Who the heck makes fabric that looks like TV static and thinks its a good thing?”

    • zenobar

      They’re heeere…

  • Hermione

    Isn’t this the Juan Carlos of Fashion Fund?

    • luluransom

      I think so. Completely hooked on that show!

  • Jessica Freeman

    Too much print, too much hangy shit everywhere. Hair is severe, make up is lacking You have let us down, girl.

  • Glam Dixie

    I can hardly tell there’s someone under there. Dig her out, STAT.

  • snarkykitten

    PR unusual materials challenge! using curtains from an elderly aunt with emphysema and more ex-husbands than cats!

  • KinoEye

    At certain angles, the fabric makes it look like the girls… or rather, left girl, has a serious issue. Look at the first two photos — am I crazy?

  • lunchcoma

    That fabric almost looks like it’s attacking her. I hope she’s okay in there.

  • Danielle

    Those are the saddest boobs I’ve ever seen. Can’t even bring themselves to smile for the camera.

  • YoungSally

    It’s a dress for Florence

  • demidaemon

    Yeah, she looks like she put a whole sheath of fabric on herself with a few cuts for a hem. NO.

    It is a pretty fabric, though.

  • marlie

    From the neck up, Kelly looks gorgeous. Her makeup is beautiful (I don’t even mind the nude-ish lip!), I like the earrings, and the slicked-back hair works for her.

    She needs to take off the dress, set it on fire, and find something else to wear. It’s completely shapeless, and the color/print is muddy and boring.

  • Ashleigh

    If she just opened it up at her neck…


    I actually like the dress but she needed to leave the neck untied and open and work big hair. dress with that much going on needs some balance on the top, that pulled back sleekness just makes her head look small. And the shoes are a very odd choice indeed. LOVE the tortoise strappy things on the model.

  • boweryboy

    I don’t even know what this is. I think there’s an attached scarf and a hankerchief hem and maybe a self-faced belt and some shit hanging off the sleeves. Plus, the print. So. much. print.

    • formerlyAnon

      For someone who doesn’t even know what this is, you’ve described it with stunning accuracy.

  • Janet B

    Kelly is gorgeous from the neck up. If you want to wear gold pointy pumps, try a dress that goes with them.

    I like the dress on the model, very much, but maybe it’s only a runway dress.

  • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

    How did she get talked into wearing this thing?!

  • Imasewsure

    Taste issues… but I would have loved this as a standard long flowy dress I think

  • Beach coverup. Damn shame to waste that incredible makeup on such a blah dress.

  • wisenhar

    Isn’t Queen Elizabeth a “we”, not a “one”? Sorry, I’ve got nothing good to say about the dress, so I figured I’d go in a different direction…

    • Rand Ortega


      • wisenhar

        I love you.

  • Dagney

    Hmmm…I rather like it. Howevah, getting tired of seeing obviously fake eyelashes on everyone.

  • jw_ny

    I’m not saying that I like this, but it would have been much improved if she at least didn’t have the tie wrapped around her neck. The open V neck, as on the model, is much more flattering.

  • Nicole Little

    Grandma boobs!

  • allcapsERINN

    Well. It looks warm.

  • kimmeister

    This is just not in her wheelhouse. Besides untying the neckbow, this dress would also be greatly improved by a dark belt.

  • Blair Sylvester

    It looks like a pencil skirt and pussybow blouse with delusions of grandeur and a steady diet of hgh

  • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

    Girl, you aren’t going to fool Peter Sarsgaard. I already tried.

  • mixedupfiles

    And yet, the model carries it off, no?

    • Lilak

      Yep — looks like there’s maybe one human being whose skin tone is suitable for this fabric.

      It was also hideous on Julia Roberts (on top of that, the design she wore in this fabric made her look like a piece of upholstered furntiure).
      Given these two failures, hope this is the last we see of this material — other lady celebs should consider it radioactive.

  • suzq

    I think it’s too short. I can’t tell, really. Too many lengths. It’s also missing the cinch around the waist that gave it some definition on the model. I would have removed the scarf and put a contrasting belt on the dress to rein it in. Maybe some strappy black shoes to ground the outfit.

  • Kent Roby

    The cropped photo after the model is perfection; it’s a shame the dress itself is such a mess.

  • MilaXX

    This a FMO. You need to be 6ft tall to handle all that dress and all that was needed here was a simple pair of black pumps. Her makeup looks good though.

    • ashtangajunkie

      I agree. On the runway, on the model in motion, it’s a completely different dress.

  • Trickytrisha

    Too many dangly bits does not a lovely dress make. Or, chop off those droopy scarf thingys and this might look ok.

  • ThaliaMenninger

    A mess of a dress. It’s like someone was trying to make a mummy costume out of newspaper.

  • Frenchie_M

    I think if it was against a darker, solid background it would look 10x better. It would still be pretty bad, but it wouldn’t be AS bad.

  • formerlyAnon

    I like the fabric, and the basic shape of the dress underneath all that . . . asymmetric and unnecessary frippery.

  • GeoDiva

    Just because your jewelry is gold, doesn’t mean your shoes should be too….Ugh!

  • Joanna

    This is not working for her, but Miss Kelly is definitely one of those women that looks better in their 30s than they did in their 20s.

  • CatherineRhodes


  • LeelaST

    Looks okay on the model, one of those “has to be in motion” designs.

  • bertkeeter

    Actually love the print …just wish she had opened up the top….needs some skin! Bigger hair too!

  • crash1212

    I love the textile. I think what kills this is all that business around the neck…it’s swallowing her. Also, those shoes are a horrible choice for this dress and just in general.

    • J. Preposterice

      if she’d worn the neck open like it is on the model, I think it would’ve looked SO much better

  • Zeeshan Ali

    That hair and face, both, are pretty tragic!

  • Jennifer McGuire

    I need to go take migraine meds now. Ouch.

  • Ann VerWiebe

    That seems like a really fussy dress for a resort collection.

  • Clash D

    I like the idea of this textile and the metallic gold shoes but the rest of the styling is whack. Those earrings, rings etc do not go with this busy dress. Wrong hair too.