GTNYD: Saoirse Ronan in Valentino at “The Grand Budapest Hotel” Premiere

Posted on February 07, 2014

Oh, sweetie. We wanted to like this and we’re betting you did too.

 

Saoirse Ronan attends “The Grand Budapest Hotel” Premiere and opening ceremony during the 64th Berlinale International Film Festival at Berlinale Palast in Berlin in a Valentino dress paired with Jimmy Choo sandals, a Valentino headband, and a Neil Lane bracelet.

Valentino Spring 2014 Collection

But this dress is clearly FMO. For Models Only. It was designed to hang straight to the floor, with no pesky “interruptions” along the way, like, yknow, breasts or hips. Things like that. And because of that, it’s obscuring and obfuscating your own body shape. To be blunt: you’re a triangle with a boob shelf. You deserve so much better than to be a triangle with a boob shelf, wouldn’t you say?

Girl, that’s not your dress. Ship it off to Keira Knightley, who pretty much inspired every green gown designed and made in the last 6 years or so. Let’s get you in some Miu Miu or Erdem pronto, mkay?

 

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: Andreas Rentz/Getty Images, IMAXtree]

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  • RussellH88

    Even on the model it’s kind of an ugly dress. You’d need to have the proportions of a candy apple to make this work.

    • Jacob Bowen

      Snaps.

    • Trent

      Is it really a dress, though? Or did she just wrap a green satin sheet around herself and call it a day?

    • demidaemon

      Now all I can think of is that she looks like a piece of green apple taffy.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/TheOctocornNetwork International Model

    Headband…no…

    • Jacob Bowen

      It looks like someone hot-glued pennies onto a piece of leather…pinterest realness.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/TheOctocornNetwork International Model

        This comment wins and I will be throwing “Pinterest realness” alongside my stand-by, “Not Pinterested”!

    • demidaemon

      To be fair, that’s the best part of the entire look. However, it is extremely faint praise.

  • Michael_Jones

    Great callback, guys, since the green gown that inspired the trend came from the same movie that really brought Saoirse Ronan to international attention.

    • Anne

      I was about to point out that Saoirse Ronan was in that movie too! :)

  • sagecreek

    Oh, dear. It’s like one of those McCall’s “Make It In An Hour!” patterns sewn up in a really luxe material.

    • Mismarker

      On the back of the pattern envelope: “Only two pieces!”

    • Aurumgirl

      It is! I knew I recognized the dress from somewhere. Turns out it was grade 8.

    • EveEve

      Another Valentino fail. The label really needs a change of designers.

  • rkdgal

    Is she STILL green with envy from Atonement and this is her way to get back at Ms. Knightly yet again?? (If so, as uncles have noted, it ain’t workin’.)

  • Glam Dixie

    The cuff is pretty…

  • bitchybitchybitchy

    Yes, ship this off to Keira-and thanks for the link to that gown from Atonement-fabulous and beyond!

  • SouthernGirlRena

    Surprisingly I like the dress. I love the colors and don’t even mind the boob shelf or that neckline. In my opinion, the thing that makes this a GTNYD is that she is too pale. Imagine this on Naomie Harris or Lupita. It would sing.

    • SugarSnap108

      See, I had the opposite reaction. I think this color is gorgeous against fair skin – and would also be fab against darker skin. It’s the shape I hate. Even on the model it’s just hanging there lifeless.

      • http://www.snoskred.org/ Snoskred

        I agree with you – the colour is gorgeous but the shapeless sack is an epic fail. I’m not sure how this material would do in other shapes either.. it seems quite stiff and heavy. I’m not sure how to use this material best to make it sing on anyone but there has to be a designer out there who does.. :)

      • marlie

        I think this color would work on a LOT of skin tones, including the fair ladies. But Lupita or Naomie or Kiera certainly have the body types that would work better for this dress.

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

      Lupita could definitely wear it. I think Naomie Harris is too curvy.

      Saoirse is so pretty, she needs better gays.

      • Shawn EH

        I think Lupita and Naomie are rather equally curvy; but both are probably too short for this dress.

  • http://www.snoskred.org/ Snoskred

    When a dress looks that bad on the model.. it isn’t going to work out for anyone, not even Keira could pull this shapeless sack off. :(

    This is a fashion crime. Saoirse is a stunning lady who deserves a lot better! Her skin is amazing..

  • Mismarker

    Her face is stunning. Everything else is “whut?”

  • MK03

    But the color…the COLOR!! It sings on her. Put some seams in this thing and it would be a killer retro shift.

    • kirkyo

      Love the color and also the headband.

  • @Biting Panda

    This isn’t even a dress. It’s a holiday table cloth in desperate need of a contrasting runner.

    • demidaemon

      Red and green and she could be a Christmas tree!

  • MilaXX

    Agreed, boobs ruin the line of this. Lovely color, though

    • @Biting Panda

      ombre effect

      • FrigidDiva

        That’s exactly what I thought was going on with her dress, I thought, wow she’s wearing an ombre version of that dress and it’s really not working. Then I realized that it was the lighting and the material plus the addition of an actual real human shape under the dress that was causing the look.

  • susan6

    Wow…it took a very close look to realize that the dress is actually all one color, but the fact that she has boobs makes the lighting of the dress above and below her sternum different enough to appear to be different colors. Yeah….not a dress for anyone with a rack. (Doesn’t even look good on the model, truth be told.)

  • VicD

    That’s Auntie Tilda’s dress. Think about it – this dress would werq perfectly with her feathered flops.

  • teensmom99

    Not to be picky but I thought GTNYD applies only to dresses that can be worn by someone. When I saw the headline, I was expecting her to be wearing something like what Kelly Rowland wore the other day. As to this dress–as the uncles say, FMO.

    • Imasewsure

      I think to be fair it’s a For Models (and Actresses Built Like Models) Only dress which means the Maras, Keira Knightly, and a lot of the Hepburnesque ladystars could work this one just fine. This makes it a GTNYD entry with a modified FMO disclaimer!!

      • teensmom99

        Po-tae-to, Po-tah-to.

  • Danielle

    Shapeless Sad Sack, Saoirse.

  • fursa_saida

    Oh, NO. I like Saoirse Ronan so much (based solely on Hanna, so no doubt this will change sometime soonish) and I want better for her. How is it possible that anyone involved allowed this?

  • Adrianna Grężak

    I don’t think it even looks good on the model. What’s the logic behind this tent?

  • deelup

    With a yellow pipe cleaner star headband this would be a homemade Christmas pageant costume.

  • numenah

    The bracelet–WANT!

  • boweryboy

    If she wore the actual runway version and ditched the headband I could get behind this. The ombre effect ruins the lines, and I think they flared out the bottom a bit which ruined the column silhouette.

    But yeah, even so, she’s not tall enough or flat enough to pull this off.

    • marlie

      The ombre effect is just from the fabric hanging on a body that’s not flat(-ish). It’s not actually a different color.

      • boweryboy

        Hmmm…. even up close in the last photo the top half of the dress looks like it’s deliberately ombre.

  • webslice33

    it’s a lazy designer’s dress

  • marlie

    This is definitely a dress meant for the less well-endowed ladystars. It’s a gorgeous color, but I don’t like the way it fits her. And I *hate* the headband.

  • Donna Tabor

    Monastic debutante.

  • SewingSiren

    The dress would be beautiful if it had been fitted to the body of the client. If the designers intent is for it to hang straight down, it should have a long slightly curved french dart starting near her natural waist at the side seam and ending below her bust apex. Dartless is fine for the model or any other woman with a smallish bust. But not for this (or most ) woman.

  • Nika E

    Zzzzzz

  • Lilak

    My goodness, this whole look is about 300% Irish!

  • Belvane

    Oh my gosh, that Atonement gown. The way it moved, the way it gleamed in the low light, the way it almost but not quite slipped off. Legendary costuming.

  • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

    i beg to differ. the ombre of two greens and the sumptuous silky finish are enough. one can only imagine her soft curves inside. i love the headband as well. it gives a regal look somehow.

  • Gatto Nero

    Yes, those pesky breasts.
    The color is great on her, though.

  • uprightcitizen

    Agree about the FMO, although might this be a nice red carpet option for an expecting starlet? Is it ombré at the top? The runway version doesn’t seem to be, but if it’s not, that’s some wonky lighting.

  • http://armchairauthor.wordpress.com/ LesYeuxHiboux

    A scrolldown fug if I’ve ever seen one. Love her for wearing the headband, baby Joan of Arc.

  • MzzPants

    Burn the bra and headband, add a kick-ass necklace.

  • Shawn EH

    Love that Kiera Knightly google link. She has model slouch perfected.

  • AmeliaEve

    Local Shakespeare company repurposes avant garde bridesmaid dress.

  • MissusBee

    Like the headband. Not for everyone, but she’s young enough to make it work and it frames her immaculate face beautifully.

    Dress-wise, minimalist fashion of any description is hard to pull off with a non-model figure.

  • ShaoLinKitten

    Oooooh, Keira Knightley would rock this. I wonder if she shies away from green gowns in this shade now to avoid comparisons to THAT dress…?

  • Sam Smith

    I love the color and her eyes are striking with it. Stick with that color, different dress.

  • poorellensmith

    That is some very SERIOUSLY liquid eyeliner.

  • jw_ny

    I do like wear she was going with this tho, and green is a good color for her. The head band is cute, and I’m thinking she should have committed fully to the look and gone with a medallion necklace, although it still would’ve been a GTNYD. Not digging those peep toes with this either.

  • Dagney

    Oh gosh. No.

  • livesarah

    What a great colour. And what a terrible dress. Were Valentino experimenting to see just how little effort they could get away with while still passing off a piece of fabric as a dress?

  • bertkeeter

    Loved gown, but as u said models or clients with very small bust…ONLY!

  • cocohall

    Post Modern Renaissance Faire Realness.

  • http://reneshiro.tumblr.com/ kingderella

    Haha, I like this actually…
    admittedly, I thought there was colourblocking going on around her chest until I saw the picture of the model.
    Love the Lord of the Rings headband!

  • demidaemon

    My question is, what happened between the runway and the RC where the color of the top quarter of the dress changed so dramatically? It’s very distracting.

    • Tafadhali

      …I think “boobs” is what happened? The apparent color change seems just to be that the top of the dress is at a different angle than the lower part of the dress and so reflects the light differently.

      • demidaemon

        The change is so dramatic, though, and looks extraordinarily different. I think, personally, it’s a similar dress rendered in a similar yet not completely so fabric. I have a hard time believing that her bust could dramatically change the dress so much.