Brie Larson in Escada at “The LEGO Movie” Premiere

Posted on February 04, 2014

Oh God, Brie. Why are you doing this to us?

Fine. Allow us to clear our throats a little before we get started:

Brie Larson has a very pretty face, with lovely, some would call them “old fashioned” features. Brie Larson can do whatever she wants to that face. And all ladies, in their day to day lives, should absolutely not feel pressure to wear makeup if they don’t want to.

HOWEVUH.

Brie Larson attends the premiere of “The LEGO Movie” at Regency Village Theatre in Westwood, California in Escada.

Escada Resort 2014 Collection

 

You’re in really harsh lighting. Your hair’s a mess. Your dress looks like colorless church clothes and your shoes look like you dug them out of a box at the Goodwill. AND YOU’RE GETTING YOUR PICTURE TAKEN. We hate to be absolutist about this sort of thing, but a little contour and color was absolutely required here, girl.

And yes, we think guy stars should even out their skin tones and highlight their eyes at the very least before they make public appearances. Most of them do; the smart ones, anyway.

 

 

[Photo Credit: Peter West/ACE/INFphoto.com, style.com]

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  • @Biting Panda

    Sweetie. I don’t know who you are. I can only reasonably deduce that you are not six years old. Since you are not six years old, I have to ask you, WHAT THE FUCK?

    • Malibufire

      No need for me to comment. You captured it all.

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

      She’s the one next to Naomi on the VF cover.

    • ailujailuj

      she was the snarky daughter with the wicked-sharp tongue on United States of Tara…

      • Gatto Nero

        Really? The one who sat on cake for the titillation of her online followers??
        What a transformation.

      • homofascist

        THANK YOU!!! It has been driving me crazy trying to figure out who she is, but that one I know.

  • mmebam

    Wedding guest of an outdoor wedding in the photo booth.

  • Sarah

    What shoe IS that? And why does it have magnets in the toes that make her stand that way? (Only explanation for bizarr-o pigeon stance) And what of the robot arm? YIKES.

    • Anna

      My mom made me wear similar Mary Janes as part of my private Catholic girls’ day school uniform when I was 5. That was my excuse, I don’t know what hers is.

      • Sarah

        I have a deep seated love for MJ’s, and even T-straps (I’m choosing to ignore the heinous heels here) but my problem with these is more that they could not go less with that dress. Except for maybe, like, moon boots or something.

        • deelup

          I have loved MJs all my life, even these ones. Oh well.

        • Imasewsure

          Yes I don’t hate the shoes… they would be ok with a darker twee sweater set outfit (a Zooey D look with tights perhaps). Wish she had rocked the moonboots though.. next to platform sandals, those were the worst footwear ever made… love love

        • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

          I love MJs and T-straps. I love these. I just think they are wrong with this dress. The Downton gals could have steered her to a pastel colour that would work better.

        • Anna

          Same for me too with the MJ’s. It’s a cliche, but I still love the Manolo Blahnik ones from SATC. I tried a spectator pair on a couple of weeks ago because I’m a masochist like that.

          The shoes with that dress reminds me of people who say, “But they’re black! That goes with EVERYTHING, right?”

        • kimmeister

          Moon boots at least would have made this look have an iota of interest.

  • KinoEye

    Wow. Looks like the Lena Dunham School of Bad Posing has a new student in that second picture.

  • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

    She stumbled into some bad lighting. But she’s top of my list to play Mia Wasikowska’s sister in something with puritan collars and slicked back hair.

    • sagecreek

      Oh, that would work!

    • VicD

      Honestly, I thought this WAS Mia Wasikowska on first look.

  • http://thejoyfulfox.blogspot.com/ Laura

    Oh dear – Envy, she is not.

  • marlie

    The dress wouldn’t be so bad if it were adjusted to fit in the neck and shoulders right before she stepped in front of the cameras. And she needs to stand up straight. And she needs to do *something* with her hair and makeup. And I really have no idea WTF she was thinking with those shoes. They’re too dark and heavy-looking for such a light, airy, summery-dress.

    • Glam Dixie

      I can’t think of a single thing those shoes aren’t too dark and heavy for. They are beyond ugly.

      • demidaemon

        I couldn’t even examine her shoes for I was too distracted by her stance, which can’t be comfortable for ANYONE.

  • Danielle

    Having a hard time equating the girl in these pictures to the girl in 21 Jump Street.

  • sagecreek

    Also? stand up straight!

  • gabbilevy

    This is terrible, but to be fair, the lighting at this event made everyone look even worse.

  • Gatto Nero

    Yikes. Looks like she’s wearing concealer over some forehead bumps but is otherwise unadorned.
    I second the ruling on the church clothes and Goodwill shoes.
    And stop with the pigeon-toed stance, honey.
    Oh dear.

  • Anna

    This looks like an epic hangover. The print + pleats combination are starting to make me kind of dizzy the more I look at them.

  • alyce1213

    I think the model’s shoes are pretty nice. That’s all I got.

  • MzzPants

    Fresh from the gym.

  • boweryboy

    That pigeon toed stance only worked on Twiggy and Peggy Moffitt. Ladystars, cut that out now!

    • marlie

      I think we need to stage an intervention.

  • Lilyana_F

    Damn, girl, this is rough!

  • Tatiana Luján

    she is wearing makeup, bad makeup.

    • http://www.jaimieteekell.com/ Jaimie

      Betcha it’s BB cream. That putty off-color look….

  • Imasewsure

    Why do I feel like the producers just said to every single celeb at this event: “Come if you feel like it, wear whatever you have lying around (especially if it’s super juvenile or unattractive)… we don’t care… it’s just a stupid Lego movie”

    WTF indeed

    • demidaemon

      You’d think, since it’s probably a guaranteed box office hit, they would have asked the attendees to put in a smidge more effort.

  • Lilak

    Love her to death as an actress and she’s been known to pull her look together for appearances (so we know she has it in her), but gee is this ever half-assed.

  • alliekat9090

    Gaga sit up straight and learn something here. This….THIS is shocking.

  • decormaven

    The dress and shoes do nothing for one another. I am not familiar with this actress, and looking at this turn, I’m not predisposed to become enlightened.

  • hannabanana

    She and Joseph Gordon-Levitt need to play fraternal twins in something. Anything.

    • Danielle

      They did play brother and sister in Don Jon!

  • Katie

    I think the face on the red Lego-man says it all.

  • teensmom99

    I love the dress if it had totally different styling. Could be chic and romantic rather than churchy.

    • kimmeister

      It would be great for one of those ubiquitous Hollywood luncheon events.

    • Melanie

      i know! i would love to have that in my closet.

  • schadenfreudelicious

    She looks like she stumbled into the harsh light of day after a weekend in the church revival tent..

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      yes! she’s seen the light! and it wasn’t pretty…

  • Trickytrisha

    Sad.

  • KT

    Yeah this is really bad. I almost don’t recognize her. Also, she needs posing lessons.

  • Kent Roby

    I’m assuming that every celeb that attended this premiere is applying aloe to their sunburned faces today.

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      the smart ones have spf fifty moisturizer as a base. beauty products for the apocalypse.

      • Kent Roby

        Oh, I like that as a tag line, “Beauty Products For The Apocalypse”!

  • MilaXX

    total HAM. Go home, try again.

    • kimmeister

      HAM?

      • MilaXX

        hot ass mess

        • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

          oooo, good one.

  • http://www.jaimieteekell.com/ Jaimie

    I admire that she’s not wearing make-up though. Yes, I get why it’s good to wear make-up, but I still admire those who don’t.

    • scoobynacks

      She is though. That girl’s battling a breakout on her forehead and the makeup she’s using to cover it up is not blending well. She needs to hire a somebody. Even if she’s going for a thing, it’s not working. You’re only supposed to look like you don’t care while actually caring, making an effort to look effortless, etc.

  • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

    I think someone slapped some pancake on her and then forgot the rest. Terrible thing to do to a young un’. Perhaps Anna and Banksy will take her aside for some schooling.

  • veriance

    On an unrelated note, I cannot wait to see her in Short Term 12 which is showing in my hometown during the weekend of March 8!

    • nannypoo

      She’s fabulous in it.

  • almondemy

    Ah, I see she is bringing back the ’90s awkward starlet stance. It makes sense since she is wearing heavy Mary Janes with a nightgown. Hi, 1994, I didn’t realize you were back.

  • duneboi

    ” . . . and we think guy stars should . . . highlight their eyes . . . “
    How do you do that?

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

      A bit of mascara and brushing out the eyebrows makes the world of difference.

      • duneboi

        I get the eyebrow part, but mascara? Really? Ugh. But I guess if you’re a film star and paid a bazillion dollars, what’s a bit of eye makeup.

        • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

          Yup – there are some that are very subtle and natural looking but they just add a little emphasis.

  • Jacob Bowen

    I hate that print because it just looks DIRTY!

  • SewingSiren

    Good lord, is it 110 degrees? She looks like she’s s sweating bullets.

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      global warming. good thing she wore an easy breezy if bland and boring dress. dress light for the apocalypse.

  • VicD

    I LOVE THE SHOES ON THE MODEL! Sorry, was I shouting? Just got excited for a moment. More than the shoes themselves on Brie, I despise the pigeon-toed stance. Why would anyone stand that way on purpose?

    • Perigee

      Thanks for pointing this out! Those shoes are ah-mah-zing!

  • cocohall

    I feel bad for her because when she sees these pictures, there is not going to be enough chocolate or vodka or whatever her coping mechanism of choice is to erase these images from her mind. Also, it is an animated movie based on LEGO FIGURES. The people who are going to go see this movie (the under 10 set, although one of my teens is planning to go for ironic fun) could give a flying fuck about lady stars or fashion. Isn’t that the point of doing voice over work is that you get to skip the hair and makeup and pole dance? Still, once your publicist has twisted your arm and forced you out onto the red carpet, it is sort of your job to ACT like you care. Own it, work it. Own it, work it. Push the LEGO-costumed man out of the way and grab the spotlight girl!

    • demidaemon

      To your question about voiceover work, the answer is, unless it’s direct to DVD (which is mostly reserved for anime and Disney sequels), the expectations are pretty much the same, except with some kid friendly style requirements, in my opinion.

  • Jecca2244

    she was JUST on the cover of VF and her people let her go out like this??? She looks ill.

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

    I’m not letting her team off the hook for this fashion-free effort, but whose genius idea was it to pose people under that horrific glare? I’m getting sunburned just thinking about it!

  • Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

    That’s a whole lotta makeup on her forehead. Can we talk about her hair, too? She looks like she just came in from the beach, and not in the “sexy, beachy waves” kind of way. In the “I just got tossed around in the surf and chased by a horny porpoise” kind of way.

  • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

    poor thing, it looks like she had a little breakout there between the eyes which is badly covered with some sort of concealer. the lack of other makeup makes it look even worse. does she have sensitive allergic skin? all the more reason to find the correct beauty products. get your gays on it pronto!