Sandra Bullock in Alex Perry at the Palm Springs International Film Festival

Posted on January 06, 2014

Good morning, darlings! We’re tanned, fattened and ready to tackle the new year with bitchy style! Did you miss us? We admit, we’re raring to go on some opinionatin’ so let’s get to it.

The very best part of coming out of that holiday lull where celebrities fail to do anything interesting enough for us is that January immediately plunges us all in the icy cold waters of awards season, where a dress can make or break a career (not really) and the stars are a bunch of frantic crabs, clawing their way to the top of the barrel while wearing sequins and diamonds.

And on that note, hit it, Sandy!


Sandra Bullock attends the 2014 Palm Springs International Film Festival Awards Gala in an Alex Perry dress paired with B Brian Atwood ‘Malika’ pumps and a Jimmy Choo clutch.

Alex Perry Cruise 2014 Collection

Okay, we applaud her use of color here. There was a time when she defaulted to black way too much. On the other hand, while she’s been making the effort on the color front this past year, she seems hung up on colors that aren’t the best choices for her. We would not have picked a bright pink and orange dress for her. Jewel tones, yes. Birthday party color schemes, no. That’s the way we see it, Sandy. Sorry, girl.

Also, the Payless pumps make us sad. And the sheer treatment across the bustline with the creeping pink breast fungus is just way too distracting. Also, we regret not sending her a hair crimper for Christmas. Someone needs to break her of the pin-straight habit. It’s getting tired.

Wow! That felt great! Oh darlings, let’s never spend so much time away from each other again! Let’s meet every day and say bitchy things about the free clothes celebrities get to wear! Won’t that be fun? Oh, wait. We’ve been doing that for seven years now. Carry on, then! More to come, including our Downton Abbey post, so try to be a tiny bit patient, kittens.






[Photo Credit:, Andrew Evans/,]

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  • Carrie

    I like the dress itself, but yeah, the bubble gum pink and bright orange make this whole thing feel a bit too twee. On the other hand, jewel tones, or even the decidedly more boring black and white would have really made this dress sing since you could better see the appliques.

    Nothing could save those pumps though!

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      After taking a second look at the dress I agree that jewel tones would have brought out the appliques. Jewel tones would also have been a good reason, in my mind, to rule out nude pumps. I realize they have their uses, but aren’t ladystars defaulting to nude pumps a bit too often?

      • MoHub

        I’m thinking the same dress in an emerald green with the sleeves in a royal blue would have sung.

        • bitchybitchybitchy

          Both those colors would look great on Sandra Bullock, too-more flattering than the pink, which strikes me as a touch too girly for her.

    • Mary229

      I sort of like seeing women reclaim pink though. What I’m saying is…I don’t think pink should or needs to be “twee” and I kind of want to see more women who are Sandy’s age feel free to rock it if they so choose.

      • Carrie

        Pink is an awesome color, but like so many things it has to be on the right dress. It’s the pink + the appliques that make it a bit young skewing.

  • SewingSiren

    I like the dress, but her face and posture are absolutely rigid.

    • formerlyAnon

      When she’s not rigid in red carpet photos, she’s usually awkward. Or kind of gawky. I find it almost endearing. Almost.

      • Mary229

        I find it endearing full stop. She’s built an entire career on it—it’s who she is. Then again, I can’t help it. I’m always more drawn to the women who don’t seem fully comfortable being style icons than the ones who walk and dress like models first and actresses second.

  • Scimommy

    Happy New Year, TLo & bitter kittens! May it be a good one!

    What? Sandra’s dress? Oh, I agree with TLo. Next!

  • Diego!

    I’m not feeling it. The dress, though colorful, it’s not earth-shattering. And THOSE shoes… Oh Gosh… why? Whyyyyy??? I like her make up and ironed hair. That’s it.

  • Its good you’re rested and back we have MISSED you so!
    *carefully insincere Hollywood style hugs*

    Truly missed you, and yeah, that dress is bloody awful on her.

  • Julie Ree

    Welcome back! I have been going through TLOwithdrawll!

  • SO very glad to click on my TLo icon this morning and see your new post! We have indeed missed you. It’s a new year and we need new critiques…..such as this one. Now that you’ve identified “creeping pink breast fungus” it will most likely be a new disease code in the official medical manual. Your work continues to cross scientific/cultural boundaries, Uncles.

  • Ginger

    Dear Uncles T & Lo,

    I hereby declare that you’re never allowed to take that much time off from blogging ever again. What’s a girl to do while sitting at her desk when you’re not blogging? We’ll coordinate our vacations in the future so I won’t have to play catch-up.


  • Welcome back, uncles! I missed you terribly.

    But maybe I’m still addled from the flu I contracted on Christmas day, because I think this is a great dress that is perfect for Palm Springs! Or maybe it’s just that I envy her that fountain of youth she’s been drinking from.

  • SugarSnap108

    I missed you to an embarrassing extent, not gonna lie.

    I think the dress is awful. The sheer netting and orange sleeves are awkward, and the ‘creeping pink breast fungus’ looks exactly like my no-slip bathtub appliques. To say something nice, her face looks pretty, and I don’t mind the straight hair, because at least it looks polished, and there’s no center part.

  • @Biting Panda

    The first use of illusion netting of 2014. That didn’t take long. Unfortunately.
    RE: Time apart. That was cruel and painful. I missed my Uncles and my fellow Bitter Kittens, way more than is probably normal.

  • E. D.

    I don’t mind this, except for the shoes. Her hair still looks healthy, unlike GP and Nicole Kidman, who both need to give the iron a rest.

  • Judy_S

    I think she looks great, in a Junior League kind of way. As creeping floral fungus goes, this is more attractive to me than black or red versions.

    • sagecreek

      A brilliant example of damning with faint praise 🙂

  • snarkalicious

    She looks weirdly like Kate Mara here.

  • Aurumgirl

    After several years of coloured lace dresses, I think we can all agree that nothing looks cheaper. Well, almost nothing. Beige patent leather pumps look cheaper.

  • Sobaika

    Happy New Year to all Kittens!!

    I like the colors on her actually, just not the sheer bib thing. It’s worsened by the illusion of it pulling.

    • livesarah

      Yeah, it’s Alex Perry. He’s an Australian designer who keeps going bankrupt, with good reason as far as I’ve always been able to see. I don’t understand how Sandra Bullock wound up in this dress… I like the colours too,but that’s it!

  • filmcricket

    Happy new year Uncles, and all BKs!

    I like the colours and the hair, but the shoes and lace and illusion netting and breast fungus are all terrible.

  • jtabz

    TLo’s return > all the Christmas presents!

    The red backdrop isn’t helping the pink/orange dress combo, either, I’m afraid.

  • Donyelle

    Girl, why you wearing Lupita’s dress?

    • Sobaika

      ALL dresses are Lupita’s dress.

  • sagecreek

    The only thing worse than illusion netting is shiny illusion netting.

    Also, I’m so glad you are back! I was going into withdrawal.

    • kimmeister

      Yes, the iridescence of the netting is what really bugs here.

  • I MISSED YOU SO MUCH! I like the colours, but not the weird seams on the sheer bit.

  • Sarah

    I like it. It reminds me of India. I hate her shoes though? And the hair is definitely too straight. And YAY for TLo, awards season, and regular kittenry! To put it like Yoda, out of sorts I have been. Work is a GIANT DRAG without you all!

  • Warrior89

    I like it. *ducks*

  • guest2visits

    SO GLAD YOU’RE BACK! However; you underestimated the dizzy-factor for he last thumbnail posted. It was hard to keep the cookies down with the vision of KK’s devouring wrapping paper dress always there…. always waiting with a fresh assault on the eyeballs.
    I like this dress on Sandra….I think she’s pulling it off. Gwyneth would chop half the length off and make it so ridiculously junior the bright colors would scream teen.

    • AnneElliot

      Yes, I was SO TIRED of that photo of KK and her hideous dress! Stayed on my favorites page for almost a week, the horror!

      • funwithpurses

        THIS. I reflexively clicked on the TLo shortcut several times a day, as I normally do, even though I knew the Uncles were taking a well-earned long break, but somehow thinking I could WILL them back via repeated clicking. Instead…KK in that bile-inducing dress. Again & again & again. Ugh.
        However, Uncles — you’ve fully redeemed yourselves with “creeping pink breast fungus.” BRILLIANT! What a fabulous start to the new year!

  • MilaXX

    I actually like this dress and given how brightly colored it is, I think a neutral shoe was called for. My gripe is the boring hair. Welcome back guys, you’ve been missed.

    • mjude

      Hi MilaXX… Happy New Year. I like the dress too. I think she looks pretty.
      so glad to be back amongst the bitter kittens & TLO!

      • MilaXX

        Back at ya’ I missed you guys!

  • Ragnarockette

    Am I the only one who adores this?

    It’s eye-catching, youthful, and I even like the color. The pink brings out the blush in her cheeks. Hair and makeup look gorgeous too.

    The only thing I’m not loving is how stiff she looks. Like a wax figure.

    • procrastinatrice

      I really love it too. Except for the breast fungus illusion. That is deeply disturbing.

      • demidaemon

        I actually do like it as well, except for the tacked on neck thing and the rest of her styling.

    • prettyinmink

      When I saw the first picture my first thought was it looked like the Madame Tussaud’s wax version of her.

  • ashtangajunkie

    Happy New year, TLo and BKs!

    I don’ t mind this at all. She looks pretty, minus the shoes and the illusion netting.

  • KinoEye

    Couldn’t be more happy you two are back! Yes to the colors. No to the illusion netting. It needs to go die in a fire.

  • crash1212

    Not her best effort, but I’m not mad at her. It’s perfect for the venue. On the plus side – it fits her like a glove.

    Glad to have you back boys! Happy 2014!

  • Lilah

    Oh, thank god you are back! I hate to say it, but I think she looks fabulous in that dress. There is some unfortunate seaming and those shoes should be burned, but the colors really work for her.

  • nannypoo

    She has such strong features and such a beautiful face, I always think she looks good. I could see this dress in navy and black instead of these colors, and I hate her shoes, but really she is just beautiful.

  • Danielle

    Dearest Uncles, I missed you so. What’s a gal to do the day after Christmas when she’s all out of PTO and her boss is out the rest of the week?!

    Anyway yeah that illusion netting pains me.

  • Candigirl1968

    Welcome back! If the dress didn’t have the sheer panel, and the pink was deeper (closer to a purple?), it might work better. Also, had Sandy gone with a suede pump rather than patent, the shoe might have worked.

  • DominoEstella

    I think she looks very Palm Springs and pretty good except for those awful shoes.. dreadful shoes. A love Dunkin’ Donuts colors.

  • AnneElliot

    Uncles, I’ve missed you so!! Creeping pink breast fungus just made my Monday morning!

  • kategs

    didn’t she wear pink and orange for the Venice premiere and everyone loved it? I think she looks pretty spiffy (apart from the shoes).

  • ballerinawithagun

    Love the colors but you are so correct about the illusion netting (why is it so shiny?) and the creeping pink breast fungus!

  • Little_Olive

    Man, I’m bitchery-rusty! Being unable to put together a decent comment, I’m just gonna say: that sheer panel came from reject Barbie dresses. Her face looks great. She can pull color, but not tackiness. The shoes belong in someone’s purse, in the subway, in their way to work at a random administrative job.

    • Little_Olive

      Oh and have a marvelous 2014 everyone!!!

  • WendyD

    HALLELUJAH my Uncles have returned! I saw a photo of Sandy elsewhere and immediately wanted to know your opinions on it.
    Mine was NO WRONG COLORS! I’m glad to see our time apart has not resulted in me losing my way.

  • StillGary

    it fits her well and her makeup is very pretty … Did you bring us anything?

  • marlie

    I like Sandy’s dress and hair, but the shoes need to be set on fire. They’re inexcusable. She was a step in the right direction with the gold clutch; she should have gone that way with the shoes, as well.

  • tereliz

    Shit, new Downton was on last night? How did that get by me? (I’m moving and everyone at my job is sick. That’s how)

    Creeping breast fungus. LOL.

  • Anna_Cecilia

    I get the idea behind the colours for the venue but she looks like she doesn’t feel like herself in this dress. The shimmery illusion netting brings back horrid memories of this uncomfortably god-awful pantyhose my mom used to make me wear for formal occasions as a kid.

  • CatherineRhodes

    Welcome back, TLO.

    Pink and orange is a color combo that works best used in a bold, mod Marimekko sort of way. For this weird, old lady dress, nope. Although I must say that Sandy herself looks amazing — how is this woman 50?

  • MaggieMae

    The model reminds me of a Fanning girl.

  • Fordzo

    Her cheek color is amazing.

  • formerlyAnon

    Sounds like y’all took a real break. Well done. Missed you.

    If Ms. Bullock ever loses that faint (or not so faint) awkwardest-deer-in-the-headlights air in her red carpet photos it will probably kill my almost-affection for her. I like the dress on her better than most, here, though it’s not a dress I can ever love in and of itself. But I think it looks decent on her for a Palm Springs appearance. Really does play up the fake tan/fake future premature aging skin effect, though.

  • allieboo

    She looks good! Like the dress but that creeping pink breast fungus shiny fabric needs to go!

  • butterflysunita

    Happy new year, TLo and Bitter Kittens!
    Sandra looks great. Not so the dress, which is ugly.

  • NYCGlamourpuss

    The colors take it to a completely tacky level which even those of us who worship at The Altar of Sandy cannot ignore. And the beige pumps with the tacky colors are NOT helping matters. I hate to say it, since she has been branching out into colors, but if this dress had been in black, it would have been a knockout.

  • Mary Lauer

    I like the dress, but it looks much better on the model with the paler skin. The tan tones of Ms. Sandy don’t show well behind that illusion netting.

  • decormaven

    Hosannas and huzzahs! The dear Uncles are back. Didn’t Sandy get the memo that 2014 is the Year of No Illusions, netting or otherwise? No such memo, you say? A BK can dream….

  • trisker

    I’ve missed you all! Happy New Year!

  • random_poster

    That dress needs to be burned. I liked it at first because I love Miss Sandy, but once I went through the close-ups it became increasingly uglier–the colors, sheer treatment, seams are all awful. Give her something better to wear, Stylist!

  • Jacqueline Wessel

    Happy New Year everybody. Glad to see the universe is back to normal. Too bad I’m so busy at work I don’t have too much time to indulge my TLo weakness. See ya later.

  • GeoDiva

    I have missed you guys!

  • Camille Chapman

    I LOVE this.

  • aahlife

    I find her various skin color distracting. Her arms and legs are darkest, her face, neck and chest all all different shades.

  • River

    I like it except for the crappy shiny-sheer netting.

  • My god, those colors on her are STARTLINGLY ugly. But let’s hear it for how far she’s come that color choice is my only complaint.

  • mickiemonkey

    Oh uncles, I was growing frantic with missing you! Had to comfort myself with good bubbly and very expensive face cream. It is very expensive when you are away.

  • throwaneyeonthis

    I Love this look. Of course I also bought the same color pink cardigan at Tory Burch in Palm Springs circa 2004. I think the colors and fit photograph very well and she looks happy.

  • TigerLaverada

    Boy, did I miss you guys! I’d fire up ol’ Nellie, my dying desktop, and then realize I didn’t know what to do because your site is my first visit of the day, every day.

    Agree with your critique of Sandy here, but must say that she’s looking really fine in general these days, and I’m happy to see her in color, even if they aren’t the ideal ones for her.

  • neeBarbero

    Welcome back. I missed you horribly. Here’s to a fashion filled 2014!

  • rondele

    I must say Ms. Bullock was in desperate need of color, and this works on some level, color-wise. The colors make the face and makeup glow beautifully. But the dress itself, well it’s very spring-y. I also think maybe it’s almost too small. The neck looks like it’s choking her. The shoes–oh my eyes! If her toes must suffer please not in such ugly shoes. But all in all, this is an improvement. Oh, hair: please please, can’t someone talk you into a change?

  • elzatelzabelz

    The shoes are dreadfully boring, otherwise I think it works. It’s a bit weird with the mesh, but I think the dress is interesting in a good way, and is a fun color combination.

  • quiltrx

    I actually can go for this birthday-party getup if not for the horrible sheer mess! With just a tiny bit of designing and sewing, this dress didn’t need that AT ALL. And is it ROLLED at the neckline? Just awful.

  • CT14

    I think it the best she’s looked in ages.

    Yes, jewel tones would be better. She should cut and fluff her hair. The shoes make me cry.

    But a good start to the year!

    • Saturnine

      I agree that she looks great lately, even if she doesn’t always look like herself (if that makes any sense). She always looks put together.

  • Guest

    I kinda like the creeping pink breast fungus, myself.

  • Sunraya

    So glad you are back!!! Hope you had a wonderful vacation!! Now get back to bitching!!!

  • bertkeeter

    LOVE IT! Payless and all!

  • demidaemon

    Ah, how I missed this particular brand of snark. Carry on, gentlemen. May the awards season bring us a great new barrel of bitchiness!

  • This dress should only be worn by somebody very pale and elfin, or by somebody very dark.
    Actually, it’s just not that great a dress.

  • LambeeBaby

    I love it. The colors are working for me. I think it’s because of my childhood Barbie obsession. Shoes are a miss.
    HAPPY you are back! I was just grumbling… “how the hell long are they going to be away”. I need a BK transdermal detox patch next time.

  • ShaoLinKitten

    This dress would be great without the dreaded lace.

  • Jacob Bowen

    THANK GOODNESS YOU’RE BACK!!!! I regret that I was too busy to check yesterday, but now I have a lot to check on! Sandy, honey, you aren’t in your twenties, and you do not need to dress like a pinata.

  • Katherine Leay

    i think she looks pretty, is not the prettiest dress on the planet, but she looks youthful