Paula Patton in Nicolas Jebran Couture at the 2014 Grammy Awards

Posted on January 27, 2014

We’re almost impressed.

 

Paula Patton attends the 2014 Grammy Awards held at The Staples Center in Los Angeles, California in a Nicolas Jebran Couture gown paired with David Yurman jewelry.

Nicolas Jebran Spring 2013 Couture Collection

 

It takes some real commitment to one’s tacky tastes to sport a “I’m a zebra with LION BOOBS!” dress in public. That is … something, right there. And we’re looking at it, so … mission accomplished. It’s always been a tossup between the Thicke-Pattons and the McConaughey-Alveses as to who was the tackiest celebrity couple on the A-List this year, but we think Miss Paula just claimed the trophy. Possibly for all time.

Her makeup never fails to frighten us.

 

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: Juan Rico/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES, nicolasjebran.com]

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  • gabbilevy

    She’s impressive in her consistency, I’ll give her that.

  • Jacob Bowen

    Drag Queen dress….so clearly it’s PERFECT for her.

    • Darren Nesbitt

      Who do you think from RPDR would have rocked this better?

      • Kent Roby

        Maybe BeBe Zahara Benet?

        • sojourneryouth

          Yup. With its matching headdress, no doubt, and she would look stunning.

          • Kent Roby

            CameROON!

        • demidaemon

          I don’t know. I think BeBe might be too classy for this dress.

      • KateShouldBeWorking

        Detox. Hopefully with a jaunty hat

      • Jacob Bowen

        Detox or Alexis Mateo.

  • Spreecord

    Girl needs some Lee press-on nails and some Sun In to really complete this look.

    • DTLAFamilies

      *PTSD flashback to my Bronx adolescence*

  • Sarah

    WHY can’t she put her chin up and out??!?? Girl drives me crazy. I think the hair is cray, the earrings are pretty, the lions are kinda cool, and the bottom of the dress is a mess. It should be a sheath, or even cocktail length. But, whatevs. She’s a weirdo.

    • MayzieMay

      Do not like the Earrings with this dress.

      • Sarah

        I agree. But they are pretty no?

  • Emily Giovanni

    Wait, she’s A-list? This is proof that I am out of touch. Also I probably would like the lions if the dress was otherwise 100% different.

    • marlie

      Her hubby is A-list, therefore she is by association. Actually, Patton has a slightly higher profile than McConaughey’s wife, since Patton can claim to be an actress, while McC’s wife is only known for being married to him.

      • Emily Giovanni

        Well, it’s also news to me that Robin Thicke is A-list. I know he’s a hot topic of conversation since that horrible song, but I didn’t think “controversial singer” equated to A-list. #grumpy

        • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

          He’s a Grammy Record of the Year nominee. That’s as A-List as it gets in his industry.

          • Emily Giovanni

            I guess I am going to have to start my own A-list!

          • alyce1213

            I have one. They’re not on it.

          • Emily Giovanni

            There are many nominees that I wouldn’t consider A-list. But I am also not into the music scene so I suppose I wouldn’t really know! I am learning so much today….

            Basically my main takeaway from all of this is that these two schmucks bum me out worse and worse all the time, and now I find out that they are esteemed.

        • Sarah

          Don’t feel bad. I didn’t know she was married to Robin Thicke. #Bubblelife

          • Danielle

            Let’s not even talk about how long it took me to find out that he’s Alan Thicke’s son…

          • alyce1213

            And Gloria Loring, of soap opera fame.

          • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

            Really? Gloria Loring, of “Tonight, I celebrate my love for you” fame, is his mother???

          • alyce1213

            Yes. Singer, actress, songwriter. She and Alan Thicke were married for a spell. They wrote some TV theme songs together (ka-ching).

          • Janet B

            Heheheehee, yes!

          • decormaven

            I so do not need to remember that song. Treacly sweet.

          • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

            Reminds me of being off school with a cold and watching Days of our Lives. I never really understood the Bo & Hope shipping.

          • MartyBellerMask

            Didn’t she sing something with Peter Cetera or somebody? Yes, I can google but why…

          • NinaBoo

            She sang “Friends and Lovers” with Carl Anderson.
            If only I needed Google for it. Sadly, it’s this kind of arcane knowledge cluttering up my brain. Can’t remember to pick up my nephew from school, but this crap is available on demand.

          • PeaceBang

            Really!!?? Oh, am I an old broad. No idea.

          • Qitkat

            Even knowing nothing about him, I automatically assumed that, based on the name. Then I saw him. Almost a dead ringer. Cringeworthy.

          • RroseSelavy

            Whom he resembles exactly? It’s amazing how many people consider him good looking.

          • Danielle

            To be fair, I grew up knowing nothing about Alan Thicke other than Mr Seaver on Growing Pains, and he faded into my mental obscure actors folder before I was out of high school.

          • demidaemon

            Yes, well, isn’t it nice to know that of the Growing Pains cast, the regular dad turned out to be a sleazy weirdo with a sleazy son and the son turned into a Christian Conservative homophobe?

      • Jacqueline Wessel

        I thought Camilla Alves was a model at one time. She does have a line of handbags on qvc.

        • marlie

          Possibly. Still doesn’t mean “A-list” to me. Not that I’m any expert, but I wouldn’t be able to pick her out of a line up.

          • demidaemon

            I think she’s A-list by marriage, mostly. Otherwise, she would need Naomi Campbell/Tyra Banks recognition level to reach that mark in her own industry.

        • demidaemon

          She has also hosted, to my knowledge, one reality TV show.

      • fursa_saida

        She was even perfectly decent in Mission Impossible 3! (Or 4? I can’t remember. The one that came out in 2011.)

    • http://www.snoskred.org/ Snoskred

      Still after all this time and all these outfits, I have no idea who this woman is or what she does.

      I probably should google that one day, when I have nothing else to do.. the levels of my boredom will have to reach epic disaster proportions first, and considering there are games out there on the internet, this is unlikely to occur anytime.

      So I will forever just wonder who this is and of what relevance she might be to anything.

      I think the Zebras will be non thrilled as will the lions, though. :)

      • ana170

        She is an actress, best known for the last Mission:Impossible movie.

        • http://www.snoskred.org/ Snoskred

          I think I saw that movie. I don’t recognise her, though. :)

          It could be because this is not her face, and every time I do see her she seems to have a different face going on..

        • Carleenml

          An actress, but I’m not sure I’d put either one of them on any kind of A-list. B, maybe?

          • Emily Giovanni

            Not to be all pedantic (which I totally am being), but I think I need to revise my definition of A-list. I always thought if you were A-list, it meant pretty much everyone who doesn’t live in a cave knows who you are and what you do, and that you bring some serious bankability to your projects.

            According to this TLo view, though, if you achieve recognition in your industry by being nominated for a top music award, that means you are A-list. But putting Paula Patton in the same list as Angelina Jolie and Sandra Bullock and Julia Roberts just doesn’t seem right to me.

            ……and I am seriously overthinking this. I need to stop, accept TLo’s wisdom on all things celebrity, and get back to work.

          • marlie

            Maybe there are “tiers” of A-List, because even though I know who Paula Patton is, and might even consider her A-List, I still wouldn’t put her in the same category of actress as Jolie, Bullock and Roberts.

            Depending on who you ask, she’s only a moderately talented actress, BUT she still has the name recognition by having starred along side Tom Cruise, Denzel Washington, and Mark Wahlberg, among others. Plus, as I mentioned above, she’s married to one of the biggest pop singers of the year (whether or not you like him or his song).

          • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

            You are seriously overthinking this. He’s had an incredible year career-wise and he’s at the top of his game in his industry, earning nominations right and left. He’s having an A-List year.

        • marlie

          She’s also married to Robin Thicke, which, in this setting, is more notable.

        • MartyBellerMask

          She was also in “Precious”. That’s how I know her.

      • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

        She double-crossed Denzel Washington and got her boobs out in a movie the name of which I didn’t pay attention to.

  • Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

    Whoa. Followed by no.

  • SewingSiren

    Sorry Paula , you lose. Bey’s dress was much tackier than yours.

    • Darren Nesbitt

      This!

    • random_poster

      That is EXACTLY what I was coming here to say.

    • Sobaika

      Tackier than LION BOOBS? Animal print? That wacky hair??

      Naw.

      • sugarkane105

        Mama always used to say, tacky is as tacky does.

      • KateShouldBeWorking

        Plus that look on her face. Either she’s going to have her way with the camera or she’s going to stalk, skin, and eat it.

        • Sobaika

          I find how pleased Paula Patton is with herself HILARIOUS.

          Yo go, Paula! Werk that crazy animal shit!

          • Carleenml

            I love your attitude! Embrace the crazy…they do it for US, dahlinks.

          • marlie

            That’ sort of why I love her, in a weird, “Oh, that’s just crazy cousin Paula” sort of way.

          • NinaBoo

            What do they say? “Go big or go home!” Paula’s choice is clear and I have to applaud her for it.

    • manina

      But this is a perfect dress for a Mardi Grass float.

  • Scimommy

    Wait a minute. This is downright classy for her, no?

  • Ginger

    Girlfriend looks STONED. Or is that her normal look? I’m serious. I don’t know.

    I have no comment on the dress.

    • MilaXX

      Nope, she always looks high as a kite on the RC. She was darn near falling down at the last BET awards.

  • TeacherH

    She always looks so happy, like she is absolutely certain that she looks beautiful when she actually looks incredibly tacky. For some reason, I kind of find that sweet. Her outfit is awful, but at least she is enjoying herself. The celeb who look pissy always annoy me. And a big, genuine smile does make her look better, albeit not better enough to obscure the lions about to eat her boobs.

  • Kathy

    Well, the cut of the dress flatters her figure for the most part. That’s all I’ve got.

    • demidaemon

      To be fair, that’s an achievement for her.

  • marlie

    For her… this isn’t bad. It works for her special brand of tacky. I don’t think her makeup looked bad, but I’m not sure what her hair is doing. My only concern is for the state of her boobs after being smashed down in that dress all night (and all weekend, considering what she wore to some of the other Grammy-related events this weekend).

    • Sarah

      I like “I’m not sure what her hair is doing.” That’s tactful of you. I really wonder about the back, because even on the telecast I never saw it.

      • alyce1213

        From the side she looks like a seahorse.

        • fursa_saida

          Oh, man, I just laughed out loud for a good thirty seconds.

    • kimmeister

      I, too, was alarmed by the apparent disappearance of her boobs from the side view.

  • ojosazules

    Very impressive. It seems like the lions are having a bad argument about something involving her breasts. What could it be?

    • sugarkane105

      “The RIGHT one’s better!” “No, the LEFT one’s better!” spoken a la Adam Sandler’s shampoo and conditioner fight in the bath tub during Billy Madison.

    • KateShouldBeWorking

      How many inches of cleavage to show next time.

    • conniemd

      Actually my first thought was that the lions were fighting over which one got to eat her breasts.

    • jen_vasm

      On the serious tip, how does one come up with the idea of combining zebra print with lions on a dress? Normal minds just do not not go there. There must’ve been drugs involved.

      • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

        Well, I was wearing a leopard print jacket in a shop and a 2 year old patted me and said “She’s wearing a tiger”. So the designer may have been a small child who doesn’t know lions don’t have stripes?

      • Anna

        What’s even more alarming is that someone saw this dress and thought to herself, “Yes, I will wear this in public. On purpose.”

        But this is the gift that Paula gives to us. I’m not sure she’s entirely aware that she’s giving this gift, but at least she seems happy to be doing so.

      • kimmeister

        One could reason that it is a white tiger rather than a zebra, and tigers and lions are both felines? Iono.

        • demidaemon

          I think that may be giving way too many people way too much credit.

  • sugarkane105

    Not gonna lie, I kinda love this. EMBRACE the tacky, Paula. We expect nothing less now.

    • marlie

      It’s almost like this is tasteful-tacky.

  • webslice33

    i also think this isnt bad at all…she has the right curves for this..and it is the grammy’s..

  • Anna

    Shangela says, Hallelu, Paula! She wants her dress back.

  • Danielle

    I am not even surprised.

    • @Biting Panda

      I’m surprised. It’s not a fugly color, way too short nor made completely of mesh and/or illusion netting.
      I am not at all surprised that it is tacky in the extreme. Lady is wearing a Safari souvenir.

  • Tracy_Flick

    I love the bitch-face on the model. Everything else is tacky as hell.

  • MannahattaMamma

    Couture via Fredericks of Hollywood

    • Imasewsure

      Yes she must have left her feather boa in the limo, poor dear…

  • Blair Sylvester

    after that horror of a dress she wore recently with the exploding ruffle haphazardly sewn to sausage casing I just want to wave her through in this dress and wish her a nice evening

  • Vanessa Reyes

    Of course….

  • http://twitter.com/janedonuts Jane Donuts

    It’s kind of a next level dress though, in terms of being creative about the tackiness. It’s almost post-tacky. And it’s very flattering, whatever else it is.

  • msdamselfly

    I think she looks great. Fits her like a glove and hair and makeup are tasteful and attractive

  • alyce1213

    I like her updo, but that dress is ugly.

  • ovarB

    Hush, my darling, don’t fear, my darling
    The lion sleeps tonight
    Hush, my darling, don’t fear, my darling
    The lion sleeps tonight

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

      Now that’s an earworm I don’t mind. Although my husband and cat will regret it. aWEEEEEEEEEawimoway!

  • nomoreprinces

    Lions of Lorderon!! Well, assuming the rumors turn out to be true and she’s on the Warcraft movie cast.

    • demidaemon

      I think I read that she has signed to work on it. I’m scared.

      • nomoreprinces

        I read it in the same piece that they had Colin Farrel mentioned and as far as I know, he isn’t in there. I’ve only seen 5 names confirmed and her’s isn’t among them yet.

  • Genesis Hansen

    Anywhere else this dress would make me want to cry, but it seems about right for the Grammy’s.

  • Kent Roby

    Lord, I’m just imagining her hubby standing next to her in his Beetlejuice suit. They really are quite the pair.

    • Glam Dixie

      Ow, that hurts, stoppit.

  • Jessica Freeman

    FOR PAULA this is actually good. Tacky is her thing now, so this is all her. I’m just happy her lady bits are covered.

  • Diego!

    RuPaul’s Drag Race: All Stars Reunion 2014 edition. Honey, NO! That dress doesn’t even work as a carpet! NO. NO. NOOOO! BUT, I have to say, she has been practicing her poses since she doesn’t do funny faces nor strange body poses anymore. One step at a time we see.

  • schadenfreudelicious

    A contender to take Fug Madness this year no question…

  • NBG

    Hold up, did someone out illusion mesh behind those goddamn lions? Seriously? For what? Modesty? There are friggin’ lions ready to eat your boobs, girl. Modesty met its maker several steps back.

  • NMMagpie

    It is very hard to reconcile the beautiful woman in her film appearances with the one that shows up on the RC.

    • MilaXX

      Makes you winder why she doesn’t notice how much better she looks in her films.

  • Qitkat

    This would have been perfect with a fragile antelope charm hanging from a necklace.

    • alyce1213

      Laughing.

  • KT

    I’m just really glad that drag queens are getting more press these days.

  • lunchcoma

    She’s just not enough of a diva to get away with being that tacky.

  • frannyprof

    She reminds me of a four year old playing dress-up. No taste, but oh-so-proud of herself! Except a four year old would do a better job of it.

    • MilaXX

      Maybe her kid is picking her dresses

  • Lori

    The back of this dress was actually worse than the front, if you can believe it. Cheap-ass looking illusion net and a big ol’ visible zipper. Basically 10 pounds of ugly in a 5 pound sack.

    And even before this hot mess the Thicke-Pattons won the tacky-off over the McConaughey-Alveses because the Robin Thicke is a horrible human being and McCanaughey is a mostly harmless oddball. Also McCanaughey has gotten to be quite good at his job and Robin Thicke is Robin Thicke.

    • Kelly

      I was wondering about the back. Sounds disastrous.

    • MartyBellerMask

      But won’t you tell us how you really feel…. :)

  • twocee

    Blurred Lines, indeed.

  • quiltrx

    She’s sort of got the ‘mobster’s girlfriend’ look nailed, doesn’t she? I can’t deal with how self-satisfied she always looks. Neither you nor your husband are that great. And I can see your foundation garments. Tacky.

  • MilaXX

    The thing is both couples look like raging potheads as well. Back to Paula, this wouldn’t quite as cringe inducing if the lion heads weren’t there. I actually don’t mind her hair or makeup here. I mean she sets the bar pretty low, but considering this isn’t too tight or too short, I’m calling this a minor win for Paula.

  • Tlazolteotl

    Based on the description alone, having lion boobs for the day might be kind of badass. Makes me want to scream “Thunder cats are GO!” down the office hall. Then you add in the actual dress, and it loses all of its abstract Thunder Cats appeal. Sad.

  • Tatiana Luján

    Beyonce’s dress was 10.000 times tackier. I actually think this dress is kind of amazing on her. Shame about the hair.

    • Imasewsure

      Beyonce’s was worse for sure but Paula has such a long beautiful history of tacky tacky tacky. Certainly not her worst but this one also does not disappoint

      • demidaemon

        I think we are comparing tacky (PP here) to cheap (Beyonce). While coming with similar criticisms, they are actually two distinct clothing problems.

  • SugarSnap108

    Her boobs are framed by the thing they pulled from the closet in “Poltergeist.” That’s unique.

  • Kelly

    I know so much of our response is subjective and ultimately personal, but I find this version of tacky to be fun and even witty, while Beyoncé’s tacky was just. . .tacky. Maybe because Paula is clearly winking at us, while Bey seemed to be taking a pretty straightforward “aren’t I totally glam?” attitude. Plus, I like the lines of this dress better, and it suits the venue.

  • MartyBellerMask

    Beetlejuice who??

  • Janet B

    Lions in Zebra print is funny.

  • EEKstl

    I just…can’t. That said, I DO love her hair.

  • sagecreek

    I love that her idea of dressing down involves feline heads. Oh, dear.

  • Jaeda Laurez

    So, so terrible. Thank you for bringing your special brand of crazy, Paula. Stay leaning.

  • Imasewsure

    If only we could do a wife-swap…McConaughey-Patton would be team of the century… Thicke-Alves is a distant second really to those two

  • Adelaidey

    LANNISTER DRESS.

  • LeelaST

    At least it’s not slit to the crotch and down to the waist. Zebras and lions to the rescue!

  • GeoDiva

    Will someone please give her a stylist for Christmas?

  • Pennymac

    This is tacky as hell. I love it!

  • Lesley

    is it wrong to say i hate everything she wears? hire a stylist girl, assuming there’s no way a top dollar stylist is making these decisions for her

  • E. D.

    Tacky, but still better than that tight, bulging white mess she wore recently.

  • Leslie Streeter

    When that is your best, you need some helps.

  • livesarah

    I think it’s a bridge too far to compare McConaughey-Alves with Patton-Thicke. I have never seen Paula Patton wear something that actually suits her. This is just a mildly toned-down version of her usual dress.

    • alyce1213

      I agree. Camilla Alves has looked pretty fine from time to time.
      Paula Patton — not that I can ever remember.

  • http://timjonesyelvington.com Tim Jones-Yelvington

    THUNDERCATS! THUNDERCATS! THUNDERCATS! HOOOOOOO!!!!

  • Akemi

    I’m excited for Robin Thicke to stop being a thing so this can stop as well.

  • DesertDweller79

    LOL! I think it’s perfect for her. I have way more tolerance for crazy dresses at the Grammys than anywhere else. So, yeah, it’s silly. But, it’s attention grabbing, she still looks pretty good and it’s the Grammys. Therefore, she’s okay with me.

  • SierraDelta

    On my personal bucket list: Have big cats get all territorial about my boobs.

  • Pterodactyl111

    Is Paul Patton on the A-list? I don’t even know who she is.

  • Skippy Devereaux

    She looks like a drag queen’s version of 1950′s actress Mara Corday!!

  • Fred Vaughn

    TLo, PLEASE write her people to try to schedule an intervention… and soon.

  • Carly Clement

    I don’t think I can ever justify this look….. sooo hideously tacky!!!!! the hair especially!

  • cocohall

    You know how Dolly Parton always says she thought the hooker in her town was the most glamorous person she had ever seen and she wanted to grow up and dress just like her? (and by God, she did!). I wonder if there is something similar in Paula’s past. Some early exposure to tacky and tight and glittery that she interpreted through the eyes of a child as fabulous and pretty? Because she so CONSISTENTLY dresses this way that she must think she looks good. She always looks so completely pleased with her efforts. It must be the same distorting lens that makes her think her husband and his tacky video are also in good taste.

  • bertkeeter

    How does this S–T happen?

  • CarrieBaby

    Did Paula fire her stylist? She used to dress pretty decent on the red carpet before this past year

  • bitchybitchybitchy

    Now, if Alan Thicke had accompanied Paula in an iridescent zebra-striped tux they would have outdone the McConathings….

  • Snailstsichr

    I usually find her irritating, but this is really funny. I thought it was great for the venue. She needs different earrings, though, because she needs to send the ones she is wearing to me.

  • decormaven

    Weasels ripped my flesh.

  • http://kingderella.tumblr.com/ kingderella

    I dislike animal prints and HATE boob windows, but this is fierce as shit!

  • Perigee

    While the dress is tacky as all get out, it is tacky in a way that could be played for fun. If Katy Perry wore this with an altered skirt length and some on-theme animal earrings this look would be “self-knowing cutesy tacky” and work for me. PP is trying to pull off smoldering sex goddess, without acknowledging how tacky the actual dress is, which makes the look a total fail imho.

  • guest2visits

    This was flat out horrible. So 80s tacky…even the cast of Dynasty would’ve turn it down.

  • supri_supri

    Let’s look at the bright side: the illusion mesh actually matches her skin tone pretty well in these pictures. Also, TLo got to say LION BOOBS!

  • http://missbethg.wordpress.com Beth Ann

    I’m not into her style at all, but there’s something impressive in how this dress relays her taste in a much more wearable and tolerable way than normal.