Malin Akerman in Cushnie et Ochs at the People’s Choice Awards

Posted on January 09, 2014

Malin Akerman attends the 2014 People’s Choice awards at Nokia Theatre, Los Angeles, California in a Cushnie Et Ochs dress paired with Jack Vartanian earrings and Stephen Webster rings.

Cushnie et Ochs Spring 2014 Collection






[Photo Credit: Peter West/ACE/, IMAXtree]

  • Paige @ LPD

    to be honest it kind of looks like a fake chest-plate a drag queen would wear… She’s not wearing it right.

    • conniemd

      I thought this dress looked absolutely hideous when she came out in it.
      The model has far less boobs, so it doesn’t have the square breastplate
      look that it does on her.

      • livesarah

        Aw man, I hate this dress, but I was definitely envying her nice small boobs! I think the main difference is that she doesn’t have a waist:hip ratio as pronounced as the model. I like the fabric. I think I hate just about every Cushnie et Ochs piece I’ve seen.

  • Latin Buddy

    Although as a gay man the lady bits in general don’t do anything for me, this dress is vulgar, poorly designed and unflattering. Seriously, with SO MANY DAMN FASHION SHOWS, why do lady stars show up wearing the most bland cheap looking stuff? Ugh. And here I am MAKING my own sequined top.

  • Introspective

    even a little bit of boob makes this dress not work. wish malin had figured that out before leaving home.

  • Karen Belgrad

    From the makers of Etch-A-Sketch…

  • foodycatAlicia

    This is not the best way to present boobs.

    • Spreecord

      You mean there’s a better way than installing a tit window into your dress?

      • foodycatAlicia

        A boob balcony works better.

        • Spreecord

          What about a tata terrace?

          • Ginny Ellsworth

            Milkshake mezzanine?

      • foodycatAlicia

        Even a pillow patio

        • Ginny Ellsworth

          How ’bout a hooters porch?

        • Spreecord

          Bosom balustrade?

          • foodycatAlicia

            Funbag frame.

          • Spreecord

            Ladylumps lanai.

      • kimmeister

        Chesticle receptacle?

      • formerlyAnon

        You guys are all gems. F–king gems.

        • Constant Reader


        • calbear97

          Seriously, I am rolling here. This is awesome. Hall of fame work.

      • Elissa Malcohn

        On a dress on a carpet a zehr vulgar fit:
        A window, tit window, tit window.
        With nonsensical scribbles and no sign of wit:
        Sayin’ window, tit window, tit window.
        Is it weakness of intellect, blindness of style?
        Is it made so ridiculous to make us smile?
        Should it merely be tossed on a huge burning pile?
        Tit window, tit window, tit window.

        • formerlyAnon

          A window, tit window, tit window

          Dying, here. ;-D

  • carnush


    • NYCGlamourpuss


    • bitchybitchybitchy

      Look, look, look at MY TITS! I’m wearing a TITS dress by Cushnie and TITS!

  • Sarah

    If your chest looks like assless chaps, then you have picked the wrong dress.

    • @Biting Panda

      And now we have another new Tshirt.

      • NYCGlamourpuss

        Sarah seriously needs to trademark that!

    • MzzPants

      TLo’s next book title.

    • kimmeister

      That might be the most upvotes I’ve ever seen on a single post!

    • GillianHolroyd

      You have reached perfection. Take the rest of your life off.

      • Sarah

        Gorsh. If only you were right, and I could. 😉

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      Honey, That is simply brilliant

  • @Biting Panda


  • amanda siegelson

    you’d think if she was this eager to show them off, they’d look a whole lot better than this. yet another fail for this outfit.

  • ralish

    It’s like a window to her cleavage.

  • International Model

    She’s doing this knowingly. Nobody walks out to a red carpet that unaware of their front-butt.

  • Jessica Freeman

    Mama is single and ready to mingle!!!

    • livesarah

      I got the same vibe. A bit sad.

  • clatie


    • formerlyAnon

      Firing is too good. Fire and blackball, at a minimum.

    • demidaemon

      I have a hard time believing a stylist was involved with this look. If they were, I assume they were a blind and straight man going off feel alone.

  • EEKstl

    What WHAT???

  • luludexter

    this is just a bad dress. it doesn’t look good on the model either

    • MoHub

      But at leAst the model is flatchested enough that she’s not exhibiting front-butt.

      • demidaemon

        Agreed. A minor yet important difference.

  • Kiltdntiltd

    I must keep these crazy girls of mine separated at all times. You’ve no idea what they’ll get up to otherwise!

  • AlinaValero

    T… for Tits.

    • MzzPants

      I can’t unsee it.

  • MilaXX

    The worst dress of the night. It looks like her butt has somehow been transferred to her chest. The is definitely a FMO/runway look.

    • mjude

      LOL…I almost choked on my chocolate over your comment. “like her butt has somehow been transferred to her chest”

    • KinoEye

      My ex-boyfriend and I had a little game we dreamed up called “Boob or Butt,” which came about when we were watching Elvira’s Movie Macabre. He noted that Elvira’s cleavage looked more like a butt crack. The idea of the game was to look at close-up pictures of either boobs or butt cracks, and try to figure out which one it was. This is just one of many reasons he’s my ex.

      • demidaemon

        Really? That sounds like a fun game!

      • KinoEye

        I don’t know what happened to your comment, Demi, but it was a fun game. Actually, his sense of humor was one of the best things about him. Except when he’d crack jokes when I tried to have serious discussions with him, like how it’s not ok to curse at me when I’m trying to find his keys. :-/

  • MoreShoes

    She has to go for a mammogram afterwards.

  • SewingSiren

    Such a pretty face.

    • demidaemon

      You are too kind.

  • MoHub

    Saddest part is that I like the print. It just needs to be deployed on a different dress.

  • marlie

    Girl, NO. No, no, no. My jaw dropped open when I saw this. There’s so much boob that it screams “tacky.” This dress belongs on a FAR less buxom ladystar.

    • gigi kennedy

      oy vey…. it was just HUH?? WTF! Shemar Moore couldn’t focus on the teleprompter!

      • marlie

        This one almost warranted a NSFW warning! Just wait until they get to Fraulein Klum…

    • kimmeister

      And the thing is, she’s really not that buxom!

  •!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

    Oh, dear.

  • uprightcitizen

    If you’re going to go for the slutty Kelly Bundy dress, shouldn’t your boobs at least look good in it?

  • Jessi03

    That is just in poor taste. Malin, I expect better from you.

  • NYCGlamourpuss

    For whatever reason, I feel like eating two oranges right now… I don’t know why.

  • Jessica O’Connell

    Did this really need larger cutouts than the runway version? The dress was ok on the runway, and then it’s like she took a pair of scissors to it just to see how long it would take before she could just barely avoid a nip-slip.

    • Imasewsure

      Not scissors…. fake boobs…. and it’s awful as you state

    • ampg

      It looks like she had to shorten the cutout because her torso isn’t long enough, and that had the effect of making it look wider. Her boobs make it look wider still, so it’s all just a mess of sadness.

  • bellafigura1

    One of those rare occasions when I cry out, involuntarily: Forget the stylists, forget the gays, check with your mother!!

  • TAGinMO

    I don’t specifically remember what she wore to the People’s Choice Awards as Juna in ‘The Comeback,” but I’m certain is was far more tasteful than this.

    New rule: When the producers of a biting Hollywood satire would say “Nope, too far,” choose another dress.

  • Guest

    Aaa and nobody looked her in the eye allll night.

  • jilly_d

    Sweetie. This dress is not for we who come from the Land of Ample Boobage. Or from the Land of Any Boobs At All. Strictly a No Boobie kind of dress.

  • MzzPants

    Aaaaand….nobody looked her in the eye allll night.

  • Jackie Lorden

    Hate this but it would have been better if the opening was the same as the one on the runway. That is shaped more like a “v” instead of a “u”. Of course, that’s not saying much. It’s still tacky.

  • Imasewsure

    This is the Audreybot’s dress…

  • Clueless_Jock

    So tacky it’s almost funny.

    • jw_ny

      i think it’s hysterical…especially reading all the comments here.

      Thanks to Malin for adding a good laugh to my day. XD

  • Erica_Vuitton

    Wow this is a GTNYD post if there ever was one! If there wasn’t a runway pic to compare it to I would’ve bet money it was on backwards!

  • suzq

    It looks like it’s on backwards.

    How a designer could not figure out how to size up his design to maintain the original proportions is beyond me. Maybe there’s a spandex shortage I don’t know about.

  • Jennelle

    Inner side boob should not ever be a thing on the red carpet…

  • Nika E


  • Aidan B

    Clearly this was not meant to be worn by anyone above an A cup. Classic mistake.

  • MothraVA

    It looks a bit like a newspaper hat, or boat.

  • Trickytrisha

    Pretty girl, dreadful taste in clothing.

  • crash1212

    So close. I love everything about this look – except those vulgar chest holes. What a weird thing to do to a cute dress Cushnie Et Ochs people. I don’t think her head has ever looked better, and I love the shoes.

  • epenthesis

    The only chance that dress had of not coming off vulgar was, as with the model, to be worn by a flat-chested woman styled conservatively. With Malin, it’s all about showing the goods through the window (and not even from a flattering angle).

    The fabric is pretty, though.

  • boweryboy

    Ah hell no!

  • Clydette Wantland

    I jumped when I saw this and not in a good way. Ick.

  • cocohall

    I will give her credit for creating the ONLY real tension of the entire show – will her nip escape and make a national TV appearance or not? And once she finally turned to leave the stage, you saw that from the rear the dress was equally dreadful. It made her look boxy. I don’t think revenge dressing on awards shows is probably the best idea, Malin. Eventually the divorce rage that made you think this was a good idea will subside, but the photos will be with you forever.

    • demidaemon

      Better advice was never rendered as simply and astutely as this.

  • Tracy_Flick

    I’m sure she has a great set of knockers (Thank you, Doctor!), but that dress makes them look saggy and heading towards her sides.

  • Danielle

    Which of the BKs was it that said her boobs looked like they were mad at each other every time she laid down? That’s all I can think of.

  • Victoria Anzalone


  • Lauren Lynch Fox

    So unflattering. I actually like the runway look. It did not translate.

  • StillGary

    Her stylists hate her — that is the only explanation! I would say give this dress to Keira Knightley — but she don’t want it. A wardrobe malfunction would have been downright hilarious.

  • Blair Sylvester

    Her boobs are on the market !!

  • Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

    If you’re going to trot out the ta-tas at least give them a flattering display, dear. This squished tit window hurts.

  • ShaoLinKitten


  • Anna_Cecilia

    Malin has a secret she would like to tell you about her boobs: here are her boobs.

    Seriously, she’s not a big girl by any stretch of the imagination but on her, this is very much an adult video star convention dress. On the model, the cutouts appear how they’re intended. I almost feel like the photos are NSFW on the scrolldown, especially in the last photo.

  • Kirstin McAulay

    reminds me of T bar shoes….over the girls! Either that or they are feuding and needed separated to chill out – girl, calm your tits… Not flattering.

  • Adrianna Grężak

    Easily one of the trashiest things I’ve seen in a while

  • sagecreek

    So disappointed that this is a whiteboard…ever since I saw that dress I’ve been waiting for the unks to eviscerate it.

    • Nancer

      I think even they were speechless…..

  • cmb92191

    My MIL (RIP Nene) would say “It’s a shame this young lady could not find a dress that fit”, with a tsk, tsk tone. My MIL was one of those fab 1950’s housewives who always looked fabulous and wore gloves to the grocery store!

  • Miss wks

    saggy tits cut-out shield.

  • dalgirl

    T-bar tits!

  • Evan

    I think we already have a candidate for Worst of the Year!

  • DominoEstella

    NO! Just NO! this is cheap ass hooker.

  • lobsterlen

    Statistical tits on the x and y axis.

    • formerlyAnon


  • LeelaST

    Model=Fashion vs. Malin=Adult Video Awards (Such a great print too. Shame.)

  • Tanya Wade

    A Mr. Clean Magic Eraser could take care of that mess….

  • formerlyAnon


  • Ashleigh

    E W

  • oatmealpie

    For when your boobs are fighting.

  • guest2visits

    Why does she so often choose tacky. Front-butt for sure.

  • frannyprof

    Wow. I hate this more than I hate side-boob on the RC.

  • KT


  • shaziz

    GURL- you’re gorgeous but that’s NOT your dress.

  • veronkimo


  • Constant Reader

    Malin just frustrates me. She’s beyond gorgeous, yet she shows up with horrible roots and an abomination of a dress.

  • pookiesmom

    WHY. NO, WHY.

  • ThaliaMenninger

    I didn’t see much of the People’s Choice, but with her and Heidi back to back, I thought sure I was watching the Golden Globes.

    FUG. FUG. FUG.

  • MinAgain

    **whap** Bad fashion! Bad!

  • J. Preposterice

    I. WHAT THE. NO.

  • LaSylphide


  • Raymond Dnomyar

    Oh good lord.

  • elemspbee

    ayo, between her, heidi klum, and jewel on sing off. ew

  • MannahattaMamma

    I think you guys should start a new category that goes beyond “girl that’s not your dress” and straight into “what the fuck?”

  • Nancy Marion

    Ugh, put it away. Seriously, she’s beautiful and accessible-looking, but gotDAMN if she always looks like the cheesiest bighaired vixen this side of a Whitesnake video. Get a stylist, FFS.

  • Diego!

    OMG, drunk and stone + slutty dress on the red carpet has already a Queen and that is Heidi Klum! Not you. Go home!

  • save_the_hobbit

    I cried for her boobs. They look so, so sad….

  • nycfan

    Not a dress for some one with actual cleavage.

  • BrianaJC

    the width of the opening and the way the straps narrow towards her neck make her look really much wider than she is. supremely unflattering.

  • Shawn EH

    Somebody’s really proud of the girls. Malin, you’re supposed to AVOID looking like Jenny McCarthy.

  • heartbot

    It’s like she’s wearing some sort of measuring tape to demonstrate just how far apart her breasts are. Weird.

  • demidaemon

    What was tolerable on the runway went to HURK in real life. Girl, this is not the way to show off your breasteses.

  • shelley514

    Perfect go to dress for breast feedings.

  • Hai Yen Nguyen

    Oh, for tits’ sake!

  • H2olovngrl

    What the hell was she thinking? This was me being kind. I didn’t want toput the rest of my inner monologue down into print.