David Beckham Bodywear for H&M Spring 2014 Ad Campaign

Posted on January 31, 2014

Darlings, why don’t you consider closing out your week by objectifying David Beckham? He won’t mind. He gets paid for it.

 

 

David Beckham Bodywear for H&M Spring 2014 Ad Campaign

We’re not sure what he’s doing exactly, but it looks very important and it looks like he was afraid he was going to get his clothes dirty while doing it.

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: H&M]

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  • Eve Farren Farber

    The perfect man.

    • LipstickForPigs

      I always think this…until he says anything. Then I’m done.

      • SuzBald

        No one needs him to speak. He’s doing his job here just fine.

      • bitchybitchybitchy

        Oddly enough, his voice is the thing about Beckham that endears him to me-he sounds like an average bloke who knows that he’s made it bigger than he ever dreamed.

  • sagecreek

    Too much ink for my tastes, but he sure is pretty. I still remember his Vanity Fair cover and that lovely happy trail :)

  • kimmeister

    What a bizarre setting. But even his feet look good!

  • Synnamin

    Thank you TLo. You always give us such tasty, tasty packages.

  • Bill Craven

    Blinded by the retouching, or is that just makeup. But very, very pretty.

    • Melanie

      yeah his face is looking very uncanny valley. it’s a shame, since god knows he doesn’t need it :[

      • Isabel

        Weird Make-up. He looks a lot better when he’s doing errands and carrying lil’ Harper around.

        • bellafigura1

          Except for the no-pants part.

          • Melanie

            also agree!

          • bellafigura1

            uncanny valley, love that!

        • Melanie

          agree!

    • Gener1c

      Your comment made me realize I hadn’t looked at his face in a single picture. Now I feel dirty.

  • CaseyinNY

    Is it weird that I can’t stop staring at his thighs? Such a good looking man.

    • Imasewsure

      No that’s what I like about him too… not a huge fan of his looks overall but the muscles that actually brought him his fame are pretty impressive

      • majorbedhead

        His thighs are amazing and a thing of beauty and joy forever. The rest of him isn’t too shabby, either.

    • Haley Buchanan

      It did’t even occur to me until I read this, but my eyes went immediately to his thighs in each and every photo!

  • @Biting Panda

    Good golly Miss Molly. I may be laughing a little as his Blue Steele, but I’m still properly hot and bothered.

  • crash1212

    You know, I’m not a big fan of tattoos, especially the covering-every-part-of-the-body kind, but his are beautiful. Maybe it’s the lack of color or something. At any rate…you started Sausage Friday out really nicely and now the perfect end. The man is perfect.

  • heuristicvalue

    These ads are hilarious! Like anyone really needs ads for sweatpants and underwear. Why don’t they just have him naked? Please?

  • Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

    I think that was a wise decision on his part.

  • sienna elm

    His arms are so completely covered with ink that his legs look almost too naked. (not that he could EVER be too naked!) Now I have to wipe the drool off of my chin. :)

  • MilaXX

    Is he the naughty plumber in every porno?

    • Danielle

      I read somewhere very recently that porn gives women unrealistic expectations of how quickly a plumber will arrive and laughed and laughed.

  • Rand Ortega

    What gorgeous hunk of male pulchritude. He sounds like Betty Boop but there really isn’t a better footballer in this generation. He brought my Galaxy to 2 championships for which I will be forever grateful. Now they suck.

    • ailujailuj

      oh MY….senator framhagen. ;)

      • Rand Ortega

        WW shoutout! Yay!

  • lundibleu

    Hmm. I can appreciate Becks like this, but I like him far better covered up. Preferably in a suit. I think it’s the tattoos, just a few too many for my tastes, but cover them up and then… well, then I think he’s pretty.

    • Imasewsure

      Agreed on Becks… I think they haven’t put Tomas Berdych to work because no one really knows who he is… plus I’m not sure he would look all that great in these shots… He’s ok looking but not smouldering… and personally I hate hate the tennis clothes he wears for H&M but I guess a dollar is a dollar (x tens of thousands I’m sure)

      • lundibleu

        Oh I agree on Berdych too. There are times he looks great, but not really the solo advert type. I haven’t objected to all his tennis kit (his shorts became fairly snug at one point…), but the blue and white at the Aus Open was a bit footie kit for my liking. He does have a wicked sense of humour though. I’m actually surprised H&M haven’t tried to get him to model along with his girlfriend/fiancee, who is quite frankly ridiculously stunning.

  • Blair Sylvester

    lighten up sweetie its just underwear. He looks like he’s straining to think in a really high pressure situation

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

      I think he includes ordering a burger as “thinking in a high pressure situation”.

      • Blair Sylvester

        Given who he is married to. that might be a high pressure situation

  • GenieinTX

    Thank you to our Uncles T and Lo for Sausage Friday!

  • lillyvonschtupp

    No complaints here, whatsoever.

  • lillyvonschtupp

    And I LOVE a man that can make ink look sexy.

  • French_Swede

    The tats ruin him for me.

  • Madam Von Sassypants

    The Steam Factory’s mechanics’ uniforms are a little against union code.

  • elzatelzabelz

    I don’t care what he’s doing as long as he does it without clothes. #Dayum

  • a_liking

    his chinese calligraphy tattoo is beautiful. and the last shot makes me laugh. what in the world were they thinking with that background?

  • lesmaha

    Yummy.

  • Kate4queen

    Oh Becks, I will always love you. sigh

  • http://www.thirteen.org/program-content/the-downton-abbey-dish-season-4-episode-2/ Gotham Tomato

    I have no idea why he wanted to deface that gorgeous body with graffiti.

    –GothamTomato

  • Tanya Wade

    I love men who handle city sewage blockages in their undies. Well done, Becks!

  • Anna

    Forget Sausage Friday, this is more like Meat Lovers Pizza Friday with extra toppings. Thanks!

  • pookiesmom

    Alright, I admit it: He does absolutely nothing for me.

    (Waits expectantly to get her girl card revoked.)

    • Tatiana Luján

      He is too “pretty” for my taste.

  • MzzPants

    Dear God, the thighs.

  • GillianHolroyd

    Looking a bit Stanley Baker-ish in the 4th photo down.

  • andi56

    I’m with Gotham Tomato about the tattoos. When your body is that sculpted, why would you want to deface it? And they’re so random; I mean, if you’re going to tatt, have a plan!
    There’s a new H&M in my little city, and it causes maximum mayhem on the sidewalk when they put up these HUGE Beckham posters!

    • marlie

      Personally, I’m not a fan of ink, but the one on the side of his chest is pretty hot, because I love the way it follows the line of his body.

  • marlie

    I suddenly want to go shopping for the bf. As for Becks, he’s a guy that I think is hotter when he’s clothed (dud can wear a suit like few others can), but he’s still a looker, and he’s gotten more handsome as he’s gotten older.

  • deltabronze

    Geez, cheer up!

  • deltabronze

    I wonder if the photoshoot includes a fluffer.

  • minnye

    As a building engineer, I am wondering where this was shot. No doubt the man is hot though… despite the ridiculous poses.

  • quiltrx

    Our darling just takes his underwear very, very seriously. As do we. Mmm, sausage-y.

  • Jaeda Laurez

    oh hi, #DatPrint and #DemThighs- I see you, Posh!!!

  • Nicole Little

    Eh… Victoria can keep him.

  • boweryboy

    Ridiculous.

  • ailujailuj

    holy fuck. me.

  • bertkeeter

    Yawn!

  • Guest

    look at that big…pipe. All those big…pipes. Just pipes pipes pipes…everywhere.

  • Guest

    Look at that big…pipe. All those big…pipes. Just pipes pipes pipes everywhere….

  • MannahattaMamma

    Look at that big…pipe. Look at all the … pipes. Big pipes pipes pipes, everywhere. Am fanning self, thinking about plumbing.

  • Joe Schmartin

    Is he a graduate of the Mariah Carey school of photography? Every shot is of his left side.

  • MoreShoes

    The body is perfect, pity that the head is empty. Enjoying the view nontheless :)

  • YoungSally

    Nice sausage plating….must be the work of a “Top Chef” finalist.

  • DeniseSchipani

    Why do people take gorgeous bodies and muddy them up with ink? (I hate tattoos). Also he looks so angry. But he is a specimen of oh…myyyyy….GOD.

  • decormaven

    The artfully scattered pebbles around his feet slay me. Is this sprouting out of a Zen garden?

  • guest2visits

    The tattoos do nothing for me but nice undies all the same. Why do I think he has a much different physique now, surely not just the tats?
    As a tangent; several years back I was in a very eclectic garden shop of all places, where I picked up a book of tattoos from around the world off one of the tables. As I flipped through, they had separated the images by geographical regions around the globe; much like a book of graffiti I have at home. I noticed the tattoos rendered in northern Europe generally had much sharper, finer, & cleaner edges to the designs than just about anywhere. The work in general was less about cartoon imagery and more like tribal abstracts (Jared Leto style) which in fact seem to suit the human form in a more organic way, somewhat. Needless to say; a lot of the images in the book were also pretty crude, awful in both subject and technique. Not my cup of tea. I bought the sambac jasmine.

  • Daktari100

    I’m not saying he doesn’t look good in his H&M undies, but isn’t David Beckham a little too old to be shopping at H&M? (Not to mention rich.) He’s got a few years on me, and even I feel like people think I’m shopping for my son when I go into that store.

  • demidaemon

    I like the stripe short shots and the shirts and shorts shots. The others are all “enh” for me. After seeing his Emporio Armani ads, these H&M ones just don’t sizzle.

  • Melvis Velour

    I received a number of items from his H&M collection for Xmas this past year and they are well made – amazing it’s H&M – fit beautifully and I enjoy wearing them. Yeah, he may have a wimpy voice but you can’t fault his athletic achievements and more importantly, his humanitarian work which he quietly goes about…

  • Tweety

    Yum.

  • ojosazules

    I grew up around men who had head hunting tats, back in the days of yore, so ink is something I’ve alway been comfortable with- but, I like his ink. It’s got an old school sort of vibe, it’s personal, and it’s black and white. And he knew when to quit.

  • Fannie Wolston

    bugger and blast the damn grayvel on me bloomin arse!

    next time H&M,how about a pictorial rugby match with him and his mates in their unmentionables?

  • cocohall

    The thing that endears me to this man (besides his physique) is his obvious delight in his kids. He could not be sweeter with his little girl and always looks so proud of his boys. I saw him play a few years back when he was with the LA Galaxy, and although he wasn’t at his prime, he was still a force on the pitch. I can forgive him the voice. And he’s not Dennis Rodman running amuck in North Korea. I will happily take him and his tats and Zoolander face.

  • http://www.dogsdotcom.blogspot.com/ Plink

    Grotesque.

  • lifeisastory

    I sure wish he didn’t have so many tattoos.

  • bellafigura1

    The first and fourth photos are … I mean … I’m alone and blushing and happy.

  • Terry

    While his are very well done (of course), I’m really tired of seeing so many tattoos and wish the fad would pass. He has a gorgeous body and doesn’t really need to cover it in ink. Another thought on viewing these photos: someone must have told him that the slight scowl is his “blue steel” look. Man, he works the same look in almost every photo of him.

  • http://weirdinedgewise.blogspot.com ONEWEIRDWORD

    You guys are hilarious – re very important. Hehe.

  • lalahartma

    Meh.