Ariana Grande for Cosmopolitan Magazine

Posted on January 08, 2014

As elderly people, we really have no interest in Ariana Grande and we’re pretty sure she’s fine with that. But as fashion and pop culture bloggers, we do try and keep up with things.  We’ve been working for the longest time to come up with an opinion on her and can’t seem to.

Ariana Grande covers the February 2014 issue of  Cosmopolitan magazine  photographed by Matt Jones.

On being a positive role model: “I think I’m an old soul. What excites younger people doesn’t excite me… I’m kind of a boring, normal girl who likes Harry Potter and to sit in her pajamas and sing. A lot of my friends are partiers, but I’ve never really clicked with that. I like Barbra Streisand, and when was the last time you saw Babs getting, like, turnt up? That’s kind of the road that I, as a lady, would like to go down.”

On dealing with her Twitter haters: “Oh, they’re evil as hell! I don’t even block them anymore, because I feel like it’s giving them negativity in return. So I just let it happen and forgive them and move on. Those people are fighting their own battles.”

 

But isn’t she kind of designed to prevent the forming of strong opinions? Like a lot (all) of celebrities engineered for and marketed to the tween n’ teen crowd, she seems very much a product and not a person. The person part comes later, when her audience grows up and starts getting an education and she realizes two things: that she needs to reinvent herself to keep them interested and damn, it would have been nice to get an education. Look at Miley. Look at the Olsen twins. Look at Britney or Justin or Christina. She’s toothachingly sweet and twee, but somehow she doesn’t bother us on that front as much as someone like Taylor Swift does. We’re just glad she’s not dressing like a  cartoon version of a 12-year-old, which seemed to be her thing for a while. The last outfit’s kind of what you’d expect from her but the cover outfit and the second one look fantastic.

Full disclosure: OMG SQUEE!!!!!!!! 

 

 

[Photo Credit: Matt Jones for Cosmopolitan Magazine]

    • savicevic

      She needs to find a new angle, though. Doesn’t anyone involved find it strange that she only ever shows half her face?

      • mmebam

        Right? Does she have a “hideous” birthmark on her right side, or something?

        • myristica_fragrans

          i read that she works that side because she likes to show off a dimple. it’s ridiculous and she needs to lower her damn brows.

      • gayle

        I am finding it entertaining she has already chosen her “best side” is really committing to it.

        • marlie

          Completely unrelated: I like how your name is spelled “correctly.” It’s my mom’s and my cousin’s name. :)

      • SophieCollier

        Well, with the side part, if she turned it the other way, she’d be a mound of hair. Or is this something she does even with a ponytail?

        • marlie

          Isn’t her ponytail usually on the side, too?

    • Anna Vasquez

      She looks like she’s constantly asking, “Is this okay? Is *this* okay? Like this?”

      • tereliz

        She never quite looks comfortable in front of the camera, does she? Like a puppy constantly begging for praise and expecting a kick.

      • Bridget Smith

        I can’t decide if she’s constantly raising her eyebrows or if they just grow that way.

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

      I am so uncomfortable with lose-your-mind orgasm secrets being plastered over a girl whose default is cutesy teen, even if she is an “old soul”.

      ETA but they featured your book so I forgive.

      • marlie

        And “Fantasy SEX” right next to her face.

        • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

          well, at least that’s age appropriate. at that age, it should only be a fantasy.

          • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

            She is 20!

            • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

              OMG she looks about 14! guess she’s way past fantasizing…

      • charlotte

        I’m convinced that those headlines are already a part of the editing format and cannot be removed.
        I mean every Cosmo cover is about orgasms, right?

        • decormaven

          I think it’s part of the Cosmo Credo that orgasms must be mentioned on every cover. I swear, this mag is the McD’s of publishing. Just like that those fries in “Supersize Me” – you could put a Cosmo from the 80s under a bell jar, and the cover would probably read much the same as this one. Even the “fashions” they show look completely ripped from an 80s Spiegel catalog.

          • demidaemon

            I guess it’s good that they are consistent?

      • Sarah

        Oh, yeah, she’s an old soul. She likes Harry Potter! ANCIENT. And wearing pajamas and singing! SO OLD SCHOOL. Because, you know, no one ever partied in “olden times.” They all sat around reading and singing in their sleepwear. And worshipping Barbra Streisand.

        • deathandthestrawberry

          Exactly. What teen girl doesn’t like to wear pajamas all day and sing and read Harry Potter. Please!

        • decormaven

          What scares me is what she considers “olden times.”

          • Sarah

            Sheesh, tell me about it. I just sat through a presentation at work where they covered all the acknowledged generations since the 20th century (Silent, Greatest, Baby Boomers, etc. etc.) in an attempt to help us view what it’s like for teens today. Mine (X, I guess they’d like to say) was TWO from the end – there’s a Y and a Z! – and they said we were responsible for making Jean Claude Van Damme popular and NKOTB was our favorite band. NOPE. *Shudders to think that’s what kids today think of as “old”*

            • marlie

              It’s painfully true. I’m right there with you.

            • Sarah

              I was pissed because of all the things this girl (who was Gen Y) doing the presentation could have said, she picked an actor and a band that made ZERO impact on my Gen X life. Gawd, can’t we at least claim Grunge or Depeche Mode or something? And River Phoenix?

            • marlie

              Or Pearl jam, or Nirvana… I don’t even LIKE Nirvana, but they seem like more of the musical “voice of our generation” that NKOTB. And to this day, I’ve never, ever seen a movie with Van Damme.

              EDITED: But NKOTB was when we were “tweens,” (a term that I’m pretty sure didn’t exist when we were that age), and PJ & Nirvana were the thing in our high school years.

            • Sarah

              ME EITHER. (And Nirvana & Pearl Jam count as grunge, but I know what you meant)

            • demidaemon

              I have seen at least one movie with Van Damme: Street Fighter, which is so bad it’s good, and sadly, Raul Julia’s last feature film. :(

            • marlie

              Oh wait… you did say “grunge.” I need my afternoon coffee.

      • http://www.ellenciompi.com/ NurseEllen

        I am right there with you, Alicia, on both counts.

      • demidaemon

        I love when they do readings of the “testimonials”from Cosmo on Chelsea Lately, because it shows just how ridiculous most of the shit in this magazine is.

    • jerseyginger

      Every single photo I’ve ever seen of her is the same, slightly turned head and a facial expression like she’s constantly mid-sigh.

    • Clueless_Jock

      I can’t distinguish her from Selena Gomez.

      • Supernumerary

        It’s as if Selena Gomez and Emmy Rossum had a twee lovechild.

      • Evan

        I don’t really listen to her music all that much, but this one can sing.

        • StelledelMare

          If anyone hasn’t, they should listen to the cast recording for the musical “13″. She definitely has a great set of pipes.

          • Jacob Bowen

            Thank you for knowing this also! I always feel weird being the only one!

    • @Biting Panda

      1 – Congrats to you two!!!

      2 – I really, really, dislike the image her team is going with. We’ve discussed it here, but they are going very far with the Lolita schtick with this one. She’s all short skirts, big boobs, and baby doll/breathless voice, doe eyed, innocence. It’s beyond creepy. And her speaking voice can drive me out of any room.

      3 – If we can see more of “I like Barbra Streisand, and when was the last time you saw Babs getting, like, turnt up? That’s kind of the road that I, as a lady, would like to go down.” in her appearances, I may tolerate her better.

      • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

        What does “turnt up” mean?

        • Sobaika

          Drunk/high/etc. In a sentence: I saw Miley at the AMAs and she was too turnt!!

        • @Biting Panda

          Urban Dictionary : 1. Turnt Up
          - thee act of getting drunk and high to thee highest degree
          - getting loose {whether that be just being wild or engaging in sexual activity}

          AKA – Showing your drunk ass.

          • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

            Thanks! I could have googled but too lazy. Now I am interested in the etymology, so I will have a look!

            • @Biting Panda

              It’s a daily goal of Miley’s….so again, they (her people) love to play the game.

              She’s a good girl. Who just happens to sound like a phone sex operator.

            • demidaemon

              That’s….sad.

      • Qitkat

        Somehow there’s a massive disconnect for me (and full disclosure, I’ve never heard of her) between her claim of being an “old soul” and loving Harry Potter and referencing wanting to be just like Barbra Streisand using urban slang ‘when was the last time you saw Babs getting, like, turnt up.’ (Also a term I’ve never heard before.) Not being a party girl doesn’t make you an old soul. Eventually she may become less of a product, and more her own person. It may not be an unbumpy road though.

    • Sobaika

      She’s the one getting her Mariah on, yes? She’s sort of blandly adorable. It’s kind of hilarious to see Barbara Streisand and ‘turnt’ in the same sentence.

      • MilaXX

        yes she has a really great voice, but everything else about her triggers my gag reflex

    • Danielle

      My little brother has a THING for her. Still reeling over the fact that she’s twenty.

    • elleg929

      She looks confused on the cover.

    • quiltrx

      She’s a cute girl who seems to always have a glow about her. I have a feeling she keeps it pretty generic on the RC partially because she doesn’t want to come across too different from her character Cat. These look like clothes Cat would wear to a really fancy event.

    • kayleymaybe

      From all the pictures of her I’ve seen, it seems like she has a case of resting bitch-face.

      • Loola234

        It’s the brows – they’re constantly in the “No Way!” position…

        • marlie

          “Reeeeally???”

    • MilaXX

      She looks mostly fine for this photoshoot, but on her own she still gives off a creepy toddlers & tiaras vibe. This shoot is a pretty good, but she still needs to lose the hair weave. It looks like it weighs more than her.

    • marlie

      I yawned so hard I hurt myself.

    • thecitysleeps

      I like her and I love her album tbh. But I love pop music.

      • demidaemon

        Don’t worry. This is a safe place. ;)

    • ashtangajunkie

      There seem to be a LOT of these gals around. Or they are all Ariana Grande. I either can’t tell them apart or they’re all the same person. Who knows?

      • marlie

        Who cares?

        (Who am I kidding… the bitter kittens care, just so much as to comment on what she’s wearing and why she’s relevant.)

      • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

        They aren’t all Ariana Grande, but I think about 4 of them are.

      • Jessica Freeman

        I have no idea, and thankfully TLo have taken the helm on keeping us relevant to the up and coming generation of irrelevancy.

    • boweryboy

      Who? Because his elderly person is too lazy to Google her..

    • MoHub

      She looks like a pedophile’s wet dream.

      • @Biting Panda

        And with those 7 words, you’ve made the good people at Nickelodeon extremely happy. High fives all around their style team’s table.

        • demidaemon

          Sad, and yet oh so true. Of course, at 31, and from the results I usually get from dating online, I am probably a pedophile’s wet dream. And that makes me sad. Again.

          • demidaemon

            And why does Mozilla mark “pedophile” as an incorrectly spelled word?

    • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

      The vapid expression on her face makes me feel very stabby.

    • MannahattaMamma

      who IS she and why is she on the cover of a magazine? Feeling old as the crypt at the moment.

    • butterflysunita

      Who?

    • Adriana

      She always looks confused/unsure of herself. Maybe it’s the raised eyebrows?

    • Anna_Cecilia

      At first glance, I thought this was Jessica Alba. As to what she will do when her audience inevitably moves on, well, she could always get a stainless steel kitchen and some appliances, condescendingly tell people where to buy their groceries and call it a “lifestyle brand.” I’m sure at some point, her name will be slapped on a cupcake-scented fragrance.

      I do like the second outfit.

      • decormaven

        Definitely count on a fragrance tie-in for this kid. She’s going to be marketed to the hilt.

      • kimmeister

        Yes, she always looks like “mildly surprised Jessica Alba” to me.

    • Sunraya

      She actually seems to have a brain. She does sound like an old soul. I like her.

    • snarkykitten

      She looks baffled by everything in these shots though

    • VioletFem

      Is there much overlap with the Cosmopolitan readership and Ariana Grande’s fans?

    • Jessica Freeman

      I am Squeeing with you Uncles!! Congrats on the mention!

      Ariana is meh to me. The fact that she’s over 20 and looks like she’s 12 is just too hard to get past.

    • SugarSnap108

      I have no idea who she is, so I guess I’m elderly, too. She just has that one “Aren’t I cute?” head tilt/facial expression, it seems. Meh. I think the “I stay home in my PJs, and am just as lame as you” thing is as calculated as any other young-celeb persona.

    • Jasmine Gonzalez

      She looks constantly terrified.

    • deathandthestrawberry

      She’s very junior Mariah Carey to me. When I mentioned those very words to my daughter, she said, “Who?” and I wanted to kill myself.

    • ConnieBV

      She’s going to grow up and be Nina Dobrev. I feel it.

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      Who the hell is this child, and what does it matter when COSMOPOLITAN MAGAZINE GAVE YOUR BOOK SOME LOVE!!! And that’s all that’s really important here.

    • GeoDiva

      I am so sick of Cosmo pushing the crop top cover photo. Don’t there stylist have anything else in their closets for these shoots?

    • Susan Velazquez

      Her facial expression just irritates me. I think it’s exactly what you said: she doesn’t have a strong opinion on anything like a product so her face always comes off to me as saying, “Won’t you like me? I’m so sweet and innocent and inoffensive so you should like me!”. If she’s a robot, may we call her the Ariana-bot? She’s programmed to be a 12 year old’s best friend forever!

    • stubbornthoughts

      Ariana who? TLO WAS FEATURED IN COSMO.

    • Adrianna Grężak

      Doesn’t sound like she’s an old soul, sounds like she’s an introvert. And as an introvert myself, I think there’s nothing wrong with that!

    • KT

      Whatever. Next!

    • unpious

      I would like for her to just once commit to a facial expression in a photo.

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      This just confirms my aged, out of touchness – but that ‘ain’t I cute’ expression makes me so very tired.

    • Lesley

      i get a toothache just looking at her. she definitely poops glitter and rainbows..

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      well isn’t she a sweet little thing, bless her heart…

    • Heather

      There’s a (creepy?) disconnect between the cover text (let’s get naked!) and the cover subject, who looks 12.

    • Jacob Bowen

      Ariana, I know pop music is all fun and makes you TONS of money, but could you PLEASE go back to Broadway (where you belong) and play “Nina” or “Vanessa” from “In the Heights”? You would be FANTASTIC, and it maybe help you lose some of the “Mariah” comparisons.

      AND CONGRATS TLO! I can’t WAIT to read your book!

    • http://stylishsass.blogspot.com/ Terri Smith

      I don’t know what an Ariana Grande is, but is it just me or does she look really uncomfortable in all of these pictures? I get that not everyone is going to be a model (Lord knows I’m not), but she just looks painfully awkward. I almost feel bad for her.

    • Michelle Wilson

      The constantly raised eyebrows and baby voice annoy me to no end, which is a shame because she has a beautiful singing voice. I just can’t deal with all the affectations.

    • NicholasGirling

      There’s something about her eyes that makes her look dead inside. The clothes are just whatever.

    • p_capet

      I just love her. She’s got such a great voice.

    • MzzPants

      Apparently, those are her default eyebrows. Turn on some music, dahling, and spend an hour or two practicing faces in the mirror.

    • demidaemon

      I hate that cover outfit. HAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. It’s so Cosmo, which instantly makes it bad.

    • demidaemon

      BTW, is anyone wondering what the “one thing you must never do with a guy” is?