American Horror Story: Go To Hell

Posted on January 23, 2014

Lily Rabe, Taissa Farmiga, Evan Peters, Sarah Paulson, Gabourey Sidibe, and Emma Roberts in FX’s American Horror Story: Coven.

 

No, you go to hell, American Horror Story!

Sorry. That episode title felt like a joke at the viewer’s expense. Hell, this whole season has felt like a joke at the viewer’s expense. Feh. If you’ve been reading our reviews, then you’ve heard it all before. We honestly don’t know how to frame our complaints and criticisms in a more entertaining manner. But here. Let’s recap events, shall we?

 

  • Formerly dead (at least twice now) Misty Day is back, ready to wreak vengeance on formerly dead Madison.

 

  • Formerly dead Queenie tries to rehabilitate formerly decapitated immortal Delphine (Why? Because reasons.) but once it’s determined that the vicious racist, torturer and serial killer is not going to be her best friend, Queenie kills Delphine. The formerly immortal Delphine.

 

  • Speaking of which, formerly immortal Marie has been killed by formerly immortal, formerly decapitated Delphine and they’re both spending eternity together in hell.

 

    • Formerly fleeing Zoe and FrankenKyle (also formerly dead) are no longer fleeing.

 

  • Formerly sighted, formerly blind, formerly second-sighted, formerly resighted, formerly non-second-sighted and formerly reblinded Cordelia does not gain second sight (a second time) after self-mutilation. Then she does.

 

  • Formerly dead Axeman “kills” Fiona. The coven all – HILARIOUSLY – believe this to be true and return him to his former dead state. Maybe.

 

  • Also: Every witch has seemingly every power the Supreme has, rendering the already extremely hazy concept pretty much meaningless.

 

And the truly ironic part? This was easily the most coherent episode of the season. Thank god for Frances Conroy, the clear and obvious MVP of AHS season three. Jessica seems tired and Kathy and Angela seem to have no idea what to do anymore (although Bates really does give it her all this episode, even if it felt like she was struggling to give her character motivations), but Conroy takes every line given to her and hits it over the fences. Honorable mention to Lily Rabe, who still remains fun as Misty Day, especially now that we know she’s a true shit kicking swamp rat. Her beatdown on Madison was the best part of the episode.

We’re here until the end, obviously, but the sad fact of the matter is, all the moments from all the episodes this season never approached the stylishness and creepiness of the opening credits or even the teaser trailers. Which tells us this is a story the creators were only capable of telling in one-minute increments.

 

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  • Annaline39

    Yes. I think Fiona gave the axe man enough blood for Cordelia to know it was her mother’s blood and planted false memories in his head. I fully expect her to show up next week.

    • Eric Stott

      Perhaps she’s in the painting

      • ScarlettHarlot

        I assumed from all the close ups on the lifelike eyes of the portrait that it must be her horcrux.

        • Eric Stott

          Probably written into Lange’s contract that she keeps the portrait after shooting.

    • andreawey

      It probably won’t even be that complicated…..

    • RussellH88

      I expect that will happen, but it wouldn’t make a lot of sense because Cordelia touched the blood and not the Axeman.

      But when did this show ever make sense?

  • ScarlettHarlot

    I could have watched an entire episode – no, an entire season – of Misty kicking that kind of ass.

    • jen_vasm

      When I envision Madison as a symbol of this sloppy, weakly written season, then that beatdown is especially satisfying.

      • e jerry powell

        I’m wondering now how Evan Peters felt while watching that scene during the shoot.

        • ScarlettHarlot

          I had the same thought…

        • SassieCassy

          shiiiiiiiiit

    • e jerry powell

      Shawl and all.

  • Eric Stott

    As with the two previous seasons I was expecting to see this kind of bloodbath to reduce the character stock,.

    You’re right though – Kickass Misty is a LOT more fun than the Nurturing Swamp Child.

  • ScarlettHarlot

    If everyone was still going to be in the running for Supreme by the last episode, why not keep Nan around, too? Why is her death the only permanent death with no take backs/resurrections/immortality/zombification?

    • Eric Stott

      I’m half expecting Papa Legba to show up, tell them “You’re ALL in Hell” and set Nan up as the Supreme Queen

      • ScarlettHarlot

        This is obviously the only acceptable outcome. While Mytle plays the theremin.

        • Eric Stott

          Unless we get the classic “You’ve been dead all along and you didn’t know it – so this has all been a farce!”

      • Brandon Taylor

        This gave me life. Yes. YASSS.

      • boweryboy

        Most of them were dead at one point, so this would make sense.

        • RectPropagation

          They’ve also almost all killed someone at some point. I think Cordelia may be the only one who hasn’t since Misty Day just participated in killing the Axe Man.

      • e jerry powell

        But then she has no Coven, as all the descendants of Salem would be dead.

        Not that that makes a whole hell of a lot of difference in the larger scheme of things.

        • Eric Stott

          They’ve never established just what this coven is supposed to do, besides poorly protecting the students.

          • e jerry powell

            That too. Beyond establishing that somehow these girls are all descendants of Salem, there doesn’t seem to be much of a bond among them until this episode, and that bond is tenuous at best.

    • Kevin McHargue

      Oddly enough that actress’s character was also the only one to die permanently (i.e. not haunt the house) in Season One. Maybe the actress has a “one death only” clause in her contract?

    • acevedob

      Because she was the only one that was sacrificed to a being stronger than the witches. There’s no take backs on that. If a witch is killed by another witch or kills herself, she may be able to return.

  • MB

    Queenie didn’t kill Marie, Delphine did.

    • e jerry powell

      No, actually, she didn’t. Marie, dismembered as she was, was still immortal. Queenie reasoned with Papa Legba that though Marie still had her immortality, she was, in that state, unable to perform the tasks that would sustain that immortality, thereby defaulting on Marie’s ongoing agreement. At that point, Papa Legba took away Marie’s immortality, consequently rendering Delphine mortal.

      • acevedob

        EXACTLY.

  • MilaXX

    I fell asleep last night and missed this episode.Apparently that wasn’t a big loss.

    • otterbird

      I actually fell asleep during the episode.

  • otterbird

    For me, the most headslapping moment was when Delphine explained how watching the public falls of Paula Deen, Anthony Weiner and Eliot Spitzer showed her that there are no consequences for bad behavior. I can only assume that the writers assumed Weiner would now be mayor of New York and Spitzer would be City Comptroller (since I assume the episodes were all written and filmed before November). And that Deen would be back on the Food Network. Because I watched that section and said, “But- they did suffer consequences! Your point in invalid! As is this entire season!”

    I mean, I think that’s what Delphine was trying to say. I confess, I drifted a lot during last night’s episode.
    Also, AHS writers- srsly? You think we NYC voters are that stupid? Thanks a lot. Eff you.

    • RectPropagation

      “I assume the episodes were all written and filmed before November”

      According to a comment a few episodes back, the last few episodes were being written while the show is on the air so they weren’t all filmed before the show started. I haven’t seen the episode yet but the Paula Deen part may have been about the employee’s lawsuit getting dismissed because the racial discrimination wasn’t directed at the employee who brought the suit forward.

  • http://www.tumblr.com/tumblelog/lastbutnotleast janinedm

    This is the first Ryan Murphy show I’ve ever followed. Does it always devolve into this?

    • Eric Stott

      Kinda- before the end a lot of characters get killed off.

      • e jerry powell

        Yeah, but on Nip/Tuck it was mostly the skanks getting killed. Gina, then Kimber. At least before the last season ended, we got to see Dylan Walsh running bare-assed into the Pacific.

    • SassieCassy

      basically

  • RussellH88

    I have no idea what’s going to happen next.

    I said the same thing about Season 2, but with Season 2 there was a sense of groundedness and some sort of laws of the universe of that season, where there were real emotional stakes in the fates of Sister Jude, Lana, Kit, and Sister Mary Satan. It all felt like it was leading somewhere, but I had no idea where.

    This season, it’s because the rules are so nebulous that I have no idea what to expect. There’s no consequences, characterization switches on a dime, and and things seem to happen just to happen. I have no idea what to expect because the show has not established any real stakes and the characters are all essentially biologically female drag queens. It seems like Magic has given the writers carte blanche to do whatever they want and then justify it with a throwaway line. Oh, the girls are all manifesting powers? That’s because their magic spikes during times of difficult. It just seems like a big set up for a finale of the Supreme Olympics where I don’t really care what happens.

    It’s an entertaining show, Francis Conroy is giving me life, but I’m not going to be sitting on the edge of my sit like I was for the Lana/Bloody Face showdown.

    And as a HUGE nerd and a big fan of Fullmetal Alchemist, I have issue with the shows definition of transmutation. That’s teleportation, transmutation is turning something into something else.

    • zenobar

      Thank you. I’m glad I’m not the only one who was irritated by the use of “transmutation”.

    • Joe J

      Ditto – I was so annoyed when the screen showed “Transmutation”, and I’m waiting to see what that witch was going to turn into, just to have her pop over somewhere else. That wasn’t just bad writing, it was stupid writing.

      • Aurumgirl

        There was more of that in the episode last night, too. Not just the confusion of transmutation and teleportation, but also having Myrtle tell someone not to sniff the “deadly nightshade” bouquet she had made up. With the proliferation of medicinal plants in this show, and the fact that Myrtle’s named after a plant, I find it really sloppy to show a bouquet of ginger flowers that Myrtle tries to pass off as Atropa Belladonna, or deadly nightshade. It’s such a common plant, lots of people know what it looks like. And if you do use it medicinally, you can’t “inhale” a dose from one of the flowers.

        On the plus side, though: because I binge watched The Wire over the holidays, I immediately recognized the amazing Lance Reddick playing Legba. That voice gave him away, despite the very good Haitian accent.

        • ScarlettHarlot

          The Wire! Yay! Did you love it? It’s the greatest, no? But because of how good Lance Reddick was in that, I’ve actually felt a little embarrassed for him seeing him in this material that is soooooo far beneath his talents.

          • Aurumgirl

            I did love it. And I loved so many of the actors in there, so many brilliant performances and such good writing. Lance Reddick is like everyone else in this show: evidently capable of greatness and yet here, forced to do miracles with material that isn’t even good.

        • RectPropagation

          They’ve been getting stuff wrong since that scene where Fiona goes to Marie’s hair shop and the employee has trouble combing her hair because its straight. Even though the very next statement is about how much human hair they buy, meaning that they work with hair that’s naturally straight all the time.

          Others have already pointed out how they’ve gotten Vodoun wrong in the Stevie Nicks episode.

          I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a “nope, obviously wrong” moment in each episode.

        • acevedob

          Could it be that the deadly nightshade was in the bouquet? Could it be seen in different shots?

          • Aurumgirl

            I looked. Deadly nightshade has purple 5 pointed or star shaped flowers, and they’re not very big; from the centre of these flowers, the huge black belladonna berries grow. There are other poisonous nightshade plants but atropa belladonna (from which we now get pharmaceutical atropine as well as the belladonna tincture) is distinct. There was a white cluster flower shown along with the red ginger flowers and I swear I saw some flower buds that looked like poppies–but again, not belladonna. Atropa belladonna is also known as Jimson Weed–a lot of us have to clear it out of our gardens or waste-sides (around a property you want to have a garden in, for example) so it’s a well known plant. And, again, unless you’re using a highly diluted and succussed form of the tincture of belladonna, nothing will happen to you if you sniff the plant.

          • acevedob

            Hm well that’s sad then. They wouldn’t be the first or last show to do that.

          • Aurumgirl

            No, they’re not. I was particularly surprised when something similar happened in Breaking Bad, with their use of Lily of the Valley (Convallaria Majalis) to further a particular aspect of the father/son dynamic in the two main characters. The plant was used as a poison on a child–who then suffered from “flu like symptoms”. Except the plant doesn’t create those symptoms. It creates the symptoms of a heart attack, and cardiac arrest. So…nice idea, but not enough research done, especially since it played such a huge role in the plot and in characterization (what with Walter White being a kind of super chemist, and all). Because those writers are definitely on a different level.

          • andreawey

            no

        • andreawey

          oh my god! thanks for bringing up the nightshade thing, I thought it might be totally over the top geeky to point that out but yeah that was not even close!

          • Aurumgirl

            It is over the top geeky. But it’s my kind of geeky.

    • Kent Roby

      The fact that the team of writers is too lazy to even google the word speaks volumes about the poor quality of this show.

    • acevedob

      While I agree, I think that what was shown for Transmutation is valid. It could involve mimicking the material around you. So, if she disappeared by mimicking her surroundings (like a chameleon), walked a distance, and turned her power “off”, she would be transmutating.

      • RussellH88

        I don’t think that’s what’s happening, though. Madison was able to “transmute” across the bed to get away from Cordelia and it was pretty instantaneous.

    • Claudia

      Hurray for being nerdy Fullmetal Alchemist fans! I, too, was waiting for some Elric brothers coolness, but ended up confused for a bit; until I realised they just didn’t know what they were talking about.

  • zenobar

    Conroy is the only reason to watch this show anymore. It has become a bona fide mishmash.

    Having said that, the makeup job on Cordelia’s eyes was truly, hideously, stomach-turningly disturbing.

    • ovarB

      True dat on the eyes!! Looking at those buggy red orbs just made my own eyes twitch and make me reach for the Visine! It gets the red out! :P

      • zenobar

        I honestly had a hard time looking at her. *shudders*

    • Citysqwirl

      Yes . . . from a distance. When they zoomed in for a closeup, though, the eyebrow pencil lines around her eyes were so obviously drawn-on that I giggled.

  • Joe J

    Best part of the episode was the Madison beatdown – but second place for me was the end where the girls were staring at the photo talking about what a great Supreme Fiona was, only to have Cordelia awesomely slap that bullshit down.

    Also – and for once in my life I ask this in the total literal sense – what the hell is Myrtle smoking?

    • zenobar

      Myrtle is smoking Djarums dipped in fabulousness.

      • Joe J

        Oh, man – I used to smoke those in college. While drinking shots of generic label raspberry schnapps poured into a can of Country Time Lemonade. Yeah, I know.

        • zenobar

          No judgement here. I did too, only my poison was Boone’s Farm Snow Creek Berry.

          Also: I wore black on the outside, ‘cos black is how I felt on the inside.

          • boweryboy

            Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill here!

      • BayTampaBay

        While smoking Djarums dipped in fabulousness, should she not be wearing wearing the brooch that only she and Lee Radzwill can pull off? LOL! LOL!

        • Kayceed

          I think that was my favorite line of the season!

          • PeaceBang

            And she just murmured it in a kind of throwaway manner — I DIED. I want a transcript of all her lines just like I want one of Maggie Smith’s lines in “Downton.”

        • Shawn EH

          Not even Jackie, mind you, just Lee. Maybe a very offhand reference to Grey Gardens?

    • Eric Stott

      Either something home grown OR something imported from a fabulous place at great cost.

  • granite5

    Why a photo where you can’t see Gabourey at all?

    • ScarlettHarlot

      Because Emma’s insane shorts ate Gabby?

    • acevedob

      I see what you mean. Interesting that only one person answered (and with a joke)….

      • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

        What’s interesting about that?

        • acevedob

          It’s interesting because the only person of color has been omitted from this particular photograph.

          • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

            No she hasn’t. She’s obscured by another actress based on the blocking for the scene and how it was shot, but she hasn’t been omitted from the picture.

            You’re reaching mightily here.

          • acevedob

            I looked it up and I see what you mean. Sorry! Reaching Earth once more. ;)

    • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

      Because this isn’t a post about Gabourey?

      • granite5

        Ok. I point out because weird to me that the photo caption reads that she’s there but in reality we can only see part of her arm. (I’ve seen the same photo other places – does AHS send these shots out?)

        • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

          AHS does send these photos out – and if we didn’t identify Gabby in the picture, we would’ve gotten complaints and insinuations that we excluded her for some nefarious reason.

          • granite5

            Going back to not commenting now.

  • SeppiChicago

    I loved the fight, it was nice to see some satisfying punches thrown instead of arbitrary magic that doesn’t even follow logical explanations anymore. I did think the “Delphine and Laveau are no longer immortal” thing was kinda explained by the legal dealings over tea between Queenie and Legba but the forced social commentary of LaLaurie living in a scandal-followed-by-hollow-apology-world commentary to be – like every time Ryan Murphy tries it – obvious, uncomfortable and wrong. How is torturing men, woman and babies the same as sending a cock pic? Whatever, she dead. The minute Kyle and Zoe walked in, I was like “Great, the Boring Twins are back!” Also: for fuck’s sake, Cordelia, wear a blindfold because those are serious gross eyes. Never have I been so happy to see a pair of sunglasses.

  • ovarB

    Watching AHS is very tolerable when you can interject movie quotes over the scenes. For instance…when a tied up Marie Laveau is being dismembered…quote a little Monty Python. “Tis but a flesh wound!!”

  • Blair Sylvester

    I always imagine Ryan Murphy madlibbing his plots on a whiteboard. Like he writes out what he wants to happen plot wise and then just fills in the names with randomly selected characters.

    • ScarlettHarlot

      Did you ever see the South Park episode that hypothesizes how Family Guy plots are written? I’m thinking they might have been on to something, and that perhaps our Mr. Murphy is also employing the Manatee Method.

    • quangtran

      Joking aside, you’re actually pretty close. According to the Nerdist podcast with the AHS writers of season 2, Murphy comes into writer’s room with some very specific ideas, and it is up to the rest of the staff to make them work. And they were pretty proud that season two came together despite all the disparate ideas that they had to work with.

      • RectPropagation

        I think it says just about everything that Blair tried to make a joke about his writing process and turned out to be pretty much right.

        I’m suddenly reminded of DC’s Countdown. For those that don’t know it, it’s another story that went to shit because editors were telling the writers what to do instead of just editing.

  • SailorLuna

    I don’t really agree that Madison getting the shit beaten out of her was the “best part of the episode”. I think it was kind of gross on Ryan Murphy’s part to write a scene where a teenage girl gets beaten and the audience is supposed to be cheering about it? I mean yeah it was kind of satisfying when Madison got punched by Misty for what she did to her, but I felt sick to my stomach watching the rest of that scene.

    • boweryboy

      I dunno, I think Madison’s beatdown was well deserved and long overdue. Afterall she did try to murder Misty by burying her alive. I would be just as pissed. So, for me, it definitely was the best part of the episode.

    • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

      Really? It was the least violent scene in the entire hour. Certainly none of the gushing blood or sewed up mouths of earlier scenes.

      Watching a villain get a comeuppance is a form of catharsis as old as storytelling, whether the villain’s a teenage girl or not. Considering how awful Madison’s been, I can’t feel bad about it.

      • Eric Stott

        It was the “YES!!” (cheering) moment of the season for me.

      • SailorLuna

        Yeah I guess you’re right. Something about it just struck a nerve. Like I know there were waaay more violent parts in the episode, but that scene felt a little too real. It’s easy to enjoy a ridiculous scene where someone gets flung across the room by a band of teenage witches, but I think the beating scene (along with the rape scene in the first episode) weren’t written or executed very well on Murphy’s part.

        • RectPropagation

          It felt more like a fight than a beating to me but I agree with you on the rape scene. How long does the audience need to watch her being raped to get the point?

  • BayTampaBay

    How tall is Lily Rabe? Does anyone know<

    • ScarlettHarlot

      5’8″. I saw her on Broadway in Steel Magnolias, and she was playing the gangly and awkward Annelle.

  • Jeremiah Capacillo

    This whole season so far, along with the entirety of Glee, just goes to prove that Ryan Murphy knows jackshit about continuity.

  • xmixiex

    LINE OF THE EPISODE: “you’re like Halston, when he sold his line to JC Penny… You’ve forsaken your destiny!” Myrtle gives me life.

    • BayTampaBay

      Myrtle is the reason I watch the show!

    • Kent Roby

      She’s a fashion witch for sure; I loved her last week talking about her one true love, von Furstenberg, who dumped her for Diane, but that it was okay because Diane probably wouldn’t have created the wrap dress if they weren’t together!

      • xmixiex

        haha yes, the greatest invention of the 20th century!!

    • ShaoLinKitten

      It would be hilarious if Myrtle turned out to be the Supreme after all. I do have my feeling that it’s going to be Fiona uber alles, though.

      • ScarlettHarlot

        That’s probably what will happen (I don’t trust people who wear gloves that often).

  • muelonil

    I don’t watch this show so i wasn’t even going to click on this post, but for a split second I thought that was Celine Dion on the far left in that photo.

  • RJ Jamison

    Murphy knows how to start a season but not sustain it, each season of AS has suffered from tbis, this season especially so.

  • Kent Roby

    Your succinct recap (formerly dead, etc) points out just how incredibly stupid the writing has been this season. Ms. Lange is smart to jump from this sinking ship instead of committing to another season; others would be smart to do the same. I was okay with this being the not-scary campy season of AHS, but I cannot bear the shoddy writing where even “death’ never means “death”.

    • RectPropagation

      “Ms. Lange is smart to jump from this sinking ship”

      This is EXCELLENT news. I can’t think of where I’d like to see her end up off the top of my head (maybe a movie?) but they do not deserve to keep her after this.

    • The Critiquette

      Thought she was already committed for season 4, just not season 5.

      • Kent Roby

        You may be right. I, however, will probably NOT commit to season 4!

  • Glam Dixie

    When you put this episode down in words and start laying out all of the formerly deads, it gets pretty funny and completely insane. Reading your recap was my favorite part of last nights AHS.

  • Shawn EH

    AHS: Coven: should have been webisodes?

    • Eric Stott

      FREE webisodes – no one would pay for this.

    • ScarlettHarlot

      Should have been a series of trailers. Then we wouldn’t have to be disappointed with a show full of petulant, inconsistent, illogical characters that don’t nearly live up to expectations.

  • Paula Pertile

    I watched (part of) this last night. It was the first time I’ve seen the show. (I know) Probably not a good one to start with? I stopped somewhere around the fire poker scene. Realize I don’t know all of what’s going on, and love the look of it, but jesus christ.

  • TLJezebel

    LOVED Myrtle’s reference to Halston and JCPenney.

  • Daktari100

    The single line that made the whole epidsode worth it to me was when Myrtle said, “You’re like Halston selling his brand to JC Penney!”

  • Tracey Magyar

    I just spent the whole hour sighing and saying “WTF” to myself. Wished that this season was better as I was excited about the witch concept at the start.

  • JaCory Deon

    They really had no idea where to take this season, which is a shame given the location, themes of American racism, and it having such gifted actresses. On this last point, all of the actresses from Bates to Sibide have shown they can make poetry with some good material and frankly, they all deserve better than this mess. Season 2, even at its messiest, at least went somewhere; this season is just all over the place. What a waste.

    • ScarlettHarlot

      Amen to shame about the wasted location. Certain cities just have such a presence that they can serve as additional characters, and New Orleans is one of them. Most of the show was interiors – the academy, Ax Man’s apartment, hospital, salon – it could have taken place anywhere. Aside from the funeral Misty & Madison walked with, it was easy to forget the show was in New Orleans at all.

      • acevedob

        On that I certainly agree.

  • Luneowl

    I’m still pining for the story that’s teased in the opening credits: skeletal demons and strange, faceless covens stumbled upon in the woods where you dare not breathe or they’ll hear you. I wonder if there’s something as creepy on Netflix that I can watch to scratch that itch? Meh. It won’t be the same.

    • otterbird

      “The Descent” is scary and has an (almost) all female cast. It scared me off spelunking forever.

    • acevedob

      It’s just symbolism.

      • Madam Von Sassypants

        Symbolizing an entirely different show, apparently.

  • Matthew Vella

    They had SO much to work with! A great location and so many great actors

  • GM

    Do you what one of the most ridiculous things is? In the beginning of this episode, they talked about the 7 wonders. 1 of which was ‘balancing life and death’, where it clearly showed that life & death is a balancing act. So, when life is given to the dead, there is a price to pay, completely contradicting all the consequence-free deaths and resurrections all season & again in this episode. Also quite stupid that they said ‘transmutation’ is one of the 7 wonders when they were actually talking about teleporting. Hello, transmutation and teleporting are 2 completely different things. They can’t even get the English language right, for gods sake!

  • SuzyQuzey

    What a letdown this season has been. Makes me long for AHS Asylum.

  • SockMonkies

    Well hang me up and gouge my eyes, this season is torturous. If this is how the writing in the show is going to be in the coming season then, Lily Rabe, you beautiful goddess…please follow Jessica Lange and leave this show ASAP. The same goes for you Frances!

  • DeebaCee

    Well, I’m pretty sure that I’m about the only person around that still genuinely enjoys this season. I think there are far fewer continuity problems with this season than season 2 (random alien??? mutilated zombie thing?? Kit’s entire post-asylum life??).

  • http://ediblecville.blogspot.com Libby

    Agreed. And they didn’t give Leslie Jordan nearly enough lines…

  • Eric Stott

    My prediction for next season: AHS…..Stenographic Pool.

  • ScarlettHarlot

    Ok, I have figured out what’s going to happen next week:

    The girls will all die or kill each other trying the 7 wonders, Myrtle will reveal to Cordelia that it was her plan all along, just then Fiona will return to attempt to kill Myrtle, Cordelia will try to kill Fiona to protect Myrtle, and then Stevie Nicks will come in singing Edge of Seventeen. After quickly disposing of the three, , Stevie will then turn into a white winged dove and fly away, leaving Spalding and the baby alone in the house.
    (I’m kidding, but I am expecting something equally absurd.)

    • Annaline39

      I’m actually expecting Stevie to sing “Stand Back” lol :)

    • The Critiquette

      I agree that they will all end up killing each other, but then the scene Cordelia prophesied will come to pass — Fiona will walk in, find them all dead, rip the necklace from Cordelia, and basically win — 30 years more of vitality.

  • acevedob

    The episode was one of my favorites. How is it not clear what’s going on?

    • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

      When did we say it was unclear what’s going on?

      • acevedob

        It has been said in previous posts and is alluded to in this post as well.

        • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

          No, it’s not alluded to at all. In fact, we went out of our way to strictly recap what was going on, because when you do that, the flaws in the storytelling become more apparent.

          You keep trying to find fault with our reviews of this show instead of just letting us know you disagree with them and stating why.

          • acevedob

            Respectfully, I have been disagreeing and stating why. I’m not trying to find fault in your reviews. You guys have made it plain that you don’t like this season. It just happens that I’m the only one here that disagrees here. Now, I’m not sure if people are agreeing with you because they see the same things as you or because you “run the joint”. I love this site, your humor and your writing. BUT (and I’m gonna get hood because that’s where I was raised): If I’m not feelin what you’re sayin I’ll say it straight up.

          • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

            As we said, we’d prefer if you simply stated your disagreement straight up, but you’ve instead told us to calm down, claimed we said something we didn’t say, and even implied that there was something that needed to be explained about the choice of picture at the top of the review. These are not disagreements; these are the acts of someone trying very hard to find fault in something they disagree with.

            Disagreement is both expected and more than welcome here. Insinuations and misrepresentations aren’t.

          • acevedob

            Understood TLo.

    • Madam Von Sassypants

      I don’t know man, but you seem to be the only one here still defending it. So many of us were really looking forward to this season, its cast, its location, its premise, and above all, its POTENTIAL, so we keep showing up, keep hoping for Coven redemption… and we keep getting burned, episode after episode. This season has been a few speckles of glitter within a big pile o’ crap.

  • andreawey

    I think shark jumping was done last season and we’re on a fast downward slide…… too bad…… but yes Misty kicking ass was the best scene of the season! oh, and nobody even noticed that Nan was gone!

    • Shawn EH

      I think I may forgive the show for everything just for the scene. of Axeman being hacked up by the whole coven. Kinda justified the whole season for me.

  • Shawny Lee Shuman

    God, I miss when your reviews weren’t complaints about EVERYTHING. I swear it’s impossible to please you bitter old queens nowadays…this season has it’s faults but a good 75% of your complaints just sound like nagging old ladies. The Cordelia sight storyline isn’t NEARLY as confusing as your summary of it is.

    • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

      Honestly, I don’t think there’s a person more pathetic than the person who gets angry at someone for not liking their TV show enough. Go outside and meet people. Go get laid. DO SOMETHING, because you’re beyond sad for posting something like this, you self-loathing, homophobic loser asshole.

  • PeaceBang

    I am pretty sure that the finale is just going to be people killing each other with axes. And then coming back to life and killing each other again with axes.

  • M312

    No wonder Jessica is leaving.

  • Jefferoni

    Soooo Ryan. As one of your black viewers I want to sincerely thank you
    for including us in the fabric of your Louisiana, I know we are
    typically upset when we’re not included or represented in American
    storytelling. But please leave us out of the next season. I don’t care
    what it is. You can set it in sub saharan Africa and I will not complain if nary a
    black character is shown. Between reducing Marie Laveau, an incredibly
    influential and respected figure in her time to a petty essentially
    powerless minion of the devil and making Queenie a sassy overweight
    chicken frying Sabrina the teenage witch, I’m giving you an extended
    side eye. I’m not saying I won’t allow my hopes to rise as we wait for
    confirmation of next season’s theme and the teasers begin appearing.
    I’m not saying my boyfriend and I won’t plop our butts down on the couch
    with a can of pringles and hearts full of glee yet again.
    Just….leave us out of it.