2014 Golden Globes Red Carpet Rundown – Part 1

Posted on January 14, 2014

All right, kittens, listen up. We’ve got a metric shit-tonne of Golden Globes fashion still to get through, so we’re looking to speed things up just a bit. We’re just gonna run past these few and scream out our thoughts at them, like a crazy person on the subway. Okay? Okay!

 

 

 

Naomi Watts and Live Schreiber in Tom Ford

PRETTY PEOPLE WHO JUST HAD SEX IN THE LIMO!

 

 

Kristen Connolly in Lorena Sarbu

PRETTY LADY WITH STICKY BOOBS! APPARENTLY!

 

 

Caitlin Fitzgerald in Emilia Wickstead

SO CHIC WE CAN’T FUCKING STAND IT!

 

 

Monica Potter in Romona Keveza

HIGH-WAISTED TRASH BAG!

 

 

Leslie Apatow in Dolce&Gabbana

VICTORIAN WHOREHOUSE LAMPSHADE!

 

 

Zooey Deschanel in Oscar de la Renta

PRETTY BUT  MAYBE TOO PRINCESS FOR OUR TASTES ALTHOUGH THAT’S PRETTY MUCH HER STYLE TO A T! WE FIND OURSELVES WISHING FOR SOME COLOR, ALTHOUGH WE PROBABLY SAY THAT TOO MUCH!

 

 

Margot Robbie in Gucci

SERVING UP SEX GODDESS, ALTHOUGH THE SHOES ARE WAY TOO “BOUDOIR!”

 

 

Rebecca Ferguson

CLEARLY DOESN’T KNOW WHAT CENTURY SHE LIVES IN! PROBABLY A TIME TRAVELER OF SOME SORT! STEER CLEAR!

 

 

Laura Carmichael in Viktor & Rolf

“I’M THE FUCKING PRETTY SISTER, GODDAMNIT!!!!!!”

 

 

 

Allison Williams in Alexander McQueen

WE CAN’T HATE, GIVEN HOW MUCH SHIT WE’VE FLUNG AT HER FOR BEING BORING! ATTAGIRL, NORMALLY-BORING GIRL!

 

 

Sarah Paulson in Marchesa

THINKS SHE’S A BALLERINA!

 

 

Kristin Chenoweth in Aiisha Ramadan

A WEE LITTLE DRAG QUEEN!

 

 

Taissa Farmiga in Elie Saab

CHURCH CLOTHES!

 

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus in Narciso Rodriguez

DISAPPOINTINGLY STANDARD! AND THAT BUSTLINE IS TOUGH TO PULL OFF!

 

RAAAAA!

 

Heidi Klum in Marchesa

SURPRISINGLY PRETTY AND INTERESTING, ALTHOUGH THE HAIR AND CHOKER DON’T REALLY WORK!

 

 

Jessica Chastain in Givenchy

SEX DOLL HAIR AND MAKEUP!

 

 

 

Lizzy Caplan in Emilio Pucci

WE DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK’S GOING ON HERE BUT WE THINK WE LIKE IT!

 

 

Paula Patton in Stéphane Rolland

FUNGUS MONSTER IS LOOKING AT US! FUNGUS MONSTER IS LOOKING AT US!

 

 

Kate Mara in J. Mendel

SERVING UP ’80S PRIME TIME SOAP OPERA BITCH DIVA REALNESS! THROW A CHAMPAGNE FLUTE INTO A FIREPLACE, GIRL!

 

 

Melissa McCarthy in Daniela Kurrle

ONE OF THE BEST SHAPED DRESSES SHE’S EVER WORN! PERFECTLY FLATTERING, EXCEPT FOR THE WEIRD STAR TREK STRIP! ALSO, THE HAIR’S TOO HIGH!

 

 

Julie Bowen in Carolina Herrera

ENTIRELY TOO PRECIOUS! SHE LOOKS LIKE A PORCELAIN FIGURINE!

 

 

[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PRPhotos.com, Juan Rico/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES]

Tags: , , , ,

  • w.

    I LOVE THE USE OF THE CAPITALS.

    • ethylene

      I heard these in Billy Eichner’s voice, so that just pushed it over the comedy edge.

  • @Biting Panda

    SO MANY OPINIONS I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO START!!

    PAULA PATTON….SETTLE THE FUCK DOWN!!
    LIZZY CAPLAN…I LOVE EVERYTHING YOU’RE DOING!!
    HEIDI…A FUCKING CHOKER?? REALLY!!

    LOVED ALL OF TLOs THOUGHTS!!

  • Frank_821

    The dress Paula Patton is wearing is interesting but it’s more than she can handle. Now if Tilda or even RuPaul wore it…..

    • ampg

      And she somehow managed to make a dress with a huge, body-obscuring ruffle look a size too small.

      • marlie

        That take a special kind of skill.

    • ailujailuj

      Ms Patton struggles a bit with the outerwear… looks like the 9-headed albino eel won this round.

    • Introspective

      this is for Ru & Ru only!! this feels draggy as fuck and she make this dress as fierce as it was intended to be.

      now Paula, bless her heart, is being not just worn, but attacked by the damn thing. No girl.

    • demidaemon

      Now that you say it, that is clearly some poor naked drag queen’s dress that she stole before they got on stage.

      • Little_Olive

        Complete with the shoes, mind you.

    • MoHub

      Especially RuPaul

  • Billie_Dawn

    I don’t really get Melissa McCarthy’s fondness for the pompadour look. I understand wanting to go with the big hair, but it just makes her head seem like it’s a funny shape.

    • @Biting Panda

      I pondered exactly same thought. My conclusion was the desire to draw the eye upwards. (and away from the chin)

      • Little_Olive

        Same conclusion here. So I did the exercise -drawing my sight up- and stopped ate her eyebrows. It was hard to continue to the hair, but it was calling with such enthusiasm I finally got there. And stayed for a while.

    • MilaXX

      Agreed, I think she looks so much better out of that poof.

      • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

        She looks much better without that poof, that’s for sure — you have to be careful about the ratio between the diameter of your hair poof and the diameter of your head, or it goes a little bit Zippy.

    • GorgeousThings

      She has a gorgeous face. I love it when she lets her hair just flow around her. Shit, I wish I still had hair like that!

    • Goldfish Venom

      Agreed. She looked so, so fab with bangs and red hair back in the Gilmore Girls days that I really wish she’d give that another go.

    • jay

      there’s an old-school piece of “advice” that people often give fat girls, which is that you’re not supposed to have hair on the sides of your face, and you’re supposed to have lots of volume up top, because it’ll allegedly be flattering to your wide-ass disgusting face. That having long hair/letting it flow around you is going to make your gross fat face look even wider. (Can you tell I’ve heard that one a lot and it makes me cranky?)

  • kimmeister

    Random thoughts:
    - I don’t know who Kristen Connolly is, but she looks like baby Uma Thurman.
    - The fabric of Caitlin Fitzgerald’s is reading “pee pee pads” to me.
    - Huh, is Leslie going by Apatow finally?
    - Margot Robbie looks hot. She also looks like the love child of Jeri Ryan and Emma Stone.
    - Those are weird horizontal bust darts on Laura Carmichael’s dress.
    - Looks like Spiderman violated Lizzy Caplan’s dress.

    • @Biting Panda

      Yes, the Leslie Apatow change caught my eye too. Interesting choice after all these years.

      • mshesterp

        I wonder why not Leslie Mann Apatow, just to transition nicely? Still, I love that dress. I almost always think she has great style.

      • GorgeousThings

        Noticed that right away. I wonder if it has to do with the fact that her husband’s name now has the big brand recognition? I’m not saying that in a snide way.

      • oat327

        Is she? Her Wikipedia still says Leslie Mann, as does everything on a Google search for “Leslie Apatow.”

    • lundibleu

      “finally”? I’m not someone who expects women to change their names on marriage, but I’m often quite surprised when women who have already made a name for themselves DO change them. It made me stop just because I thought “who?” and then figured it out, but far more used to seeing her as Leslie Mann.

      • kimmeister

        The “finally” wasn’t referring to any expectation that she change it, more loike surprise at the decision so many years after the fact.

        • lundibleu

          I figured as much. Sorry, I didn’t mean it to sound criticising, I was just pondering :)

    • ampg

      All the other media references I’ve seen still list her as Leslie Mann. I think it might have just been a typo.

      • http://howtofaint.tumblr.com/ How to Faint

        I thought it was snark. :3

    • demidaemon

      My question is, how did Spiderman violate her dress? In a webslinging way or a Johnson & Johnson sort of way?

      • kimmeister

        I intentionally left it open to interpretation.

  • charlotte

    Lady Edith added a black stripe because she knew something was going to happen at her wedding.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

    Rebecca Ferguson’s MESH CHEST PANEL IS WEIRD AND UGLY.
    Took a bit for the capitals to get in there.

  • Teresa M.

    Why is Zooey doing an impression of Renee Zellweger?

    • MilaXX

      Zooey looks like she’s wearing a wedding dress.

      • formerlyAnon

        Zooey is approaching that watershed moment when she spots the photo that makes her Know She Is Too Old.

        • ailujailuj

          There’s a right way to do counterculture. She’s just in her adolescent phase, still, oddly. wtf girl.

    • GorgeousThings

      Zooey’s face color matches her dress exactly. I love me some Zooey, but even I can tell you that’s not a good thing.

      • 3boysful

        So true, but we have to give her points for foregoing the black tights, no?

  • ethylene

    “High waisted trash bag” is my new go to phrase.

    Allison Williams’ head looks stuck on too low. Less craning forward, you high, wasted trash bag.

    • dalgirl

      And she’s beginning to look scary-thin. Snaps for the dress, though.

  • Maryanne525

    I AM LAUGHING SO FUCKING HARD RIGHT NOW.

    • AnneElliot

      I laughed so hard at the Fungus Monster comment I woke up the dog. Best laugh I’ve had in a long time. Bless you, TLo!!!

      • Maryanne525

        Yes!!! This one set me off: “CLEARLY DOESN’T KNOW WHAT CENTURY SHE LIVES IN! PROBABLY A TIME TRAVELER OF SOME SORT! STEER CLEAR!” So damn hilarious.

  • s k

    Lizzy Kaplan looks like a resident of the new Krypton.

    Naomi always scare the shit out of me. Like she would cut a bitch for picking out the wrong wheat germ at the organic grocery store.

  • alyce1213

    Caitlin Fitzgerald’s superchic dress really stood out in the crowd. I wish she’d worn a thin, maybe shiny belt. Loved her shoes and clutch.

    I’m surprised that I like Julie Bowen’s. So maybe she does look like a porcelain figure with Snow White sleeves, but it’s so pretty and sweet that I like it. Maybe too young for her? The color combo works, it’s actually a pretty sophisticated blend.

    • @Biting Panda

      Agree so much on the need for a belt.

      Julie can be so sharp sometimes, at least this was sweet. Even if tipping over into precious.

      • demidaemon

        I think it softens her quite a bit, which is a direction she should go in more often, to accentuate her features and break up her normal style a little, as well.

    • Tatiana Luján

      I liked Julie Bowen’s as well.

    • SugarSnap108

      Agree completely on Caitlin Fitzgerald’s dress. I also wish she had a better hair style.

    • Lorelei_D

      She looks great! It has the features TLo pine for; color, a belt, seasonal appropriateness. Overwork is making TLo fickle.

    • MaryMcClelland

      I was not into Caitlin’s makeup and hair. The lipstick really washed her out and the hair was a travesty with a bad dye job. Loved the clothes/shoes, etc. though!

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

      I love Julie Bowen’s dress. I’d love it a teensy bit more if it were just sleeveless instead of the ruched puffs. That little cummerbund/obi treatment is so damn pretty!

    • alliekat9090

      Julie Bowen’s dress was my favorite. Does that make me a bad person?

  • MK03

    JULIE BOWEN JOINED THE RED HAT SOCIETY A LITTLE EARLY!!

    • uprightcitizen

      I actually think she looks gorgeous, but that’s still funny as hell. Used to work at a place that hosted red hat tours all the time. Had totally forgotten about them. She just needs the hat.

    • decormaven

      In that garb, she’s a dead ringer for the little porcelain tchotchkes those women snap up in the gift shops after their luncheons.

    • AnneElliot

      TOO FUNNY!

  • ailujailuj

    YAY… wtf. I’VE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED TO BE YELLED AT…
    Naomi, Caitlin, Margot, Laura, and Julie are just fantastic.
    Lizzy has exactly the futuristic look that works. Love it. Love her.
    Agree about Melissa – I think the silver lightning actually does work and is prolly what happint to her hair.

    • Tatiana Luján

      I like the Star Trek stripe on Melissa’s dress too.

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

      It needs the Star Trek stripe – the dress is a great shape but that gives it some definition.

  • ailujailuj

    Oh – and Kristin Chennie’s dress kinda looks like the long-sleeved version, winterized of Ms. Witherspoon’s.
    I think drag looks fucking POW on her… and I generally don’t like anything about her. good girl!

    • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

      I think she needs bigger hair. I imagine the logic was that she has a big head and teeny body, so big hair would only make her look more like a bobblehead, but I think it would soften her jaw line, which is pretty determined. The color is gorgeous on her.

  • Pennymac

    It’s not that I don’t like the individual detailed posts, but: THE RED CARPET RUNDOWNS ARE MY FAVORITE!
    You never disappoint with the zingers.
    I love you two!

    • CelandineM

      I HAVE BEEN WAITING TWO DAYS FOR THESE POSTS! I was laughing so hard I had to take a break before I started part 2.

  • ailujailuj

    why is melissa going for her gun?

  • Tatiana Luján

    Heidi’s choker took the look from pretty to trashy.

    • @Biting Panda

      Because she’ll always find a way.

    • marlie

      There was a joke on Twitter somewhere about her looking like a guest at the wedding in the November Rain video.

      Also, my bf (who is a few years younger than me) didn’t know what video I was talking about. Kill me now.

      • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

        I think that was the fuggirls – such a great line!

        Doesn’t know the November Rain video? Poor little foetus!

        • marlie

          It probably was them! Only the Fug Girls compare to TLo when dealing out the snark.

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      It’s a Marchesa gown which means that it’s got enough going on without Heidi adding a superfluous necklace, but then, we are talking about Heidi.

  • MilaXX

    Caitlin Fitzgerald for the win! I also thought Lady Edith’s makeup was really lovely here. I wish Melissa had worn her ahir out instead of in that poof, Saral Paulson has a wicked case of monkey toes. I like the colors on Rebecca Ferguson’s dress, but it looks too much like a costume in a period piece.

    • DuBey2

      I, too, liked the colors on Rebecca F’s dress, although I don’t know who she is. I wish she had worn less jewelry on her hand/arm, as I think the cuff was unflattering to her arm. Agreed on Caitlin’s dress and was so thrilled that most of my faves were also loved by the uncles (like Lizzie in that arresting blk/silver number)

  • bellafigura1

    Hahaha, I enjoyed the yelling!
    Caitlin Fitzgerald, gorgeous.
    Allison Williams, kills me to do so, but excellent.
    Lizzy Caplan, zowie, love.
    Kate Mara, scary pretty.
    Julie Bowen, totally perfect for her.
    No one else can play.

    • Sobaika

      I was pleasantly surprised by Allison Williams. Not very Princess McTeatime of her.

  • Betsy

    Is it just me, or is Rebecca Ferguson wearing that drapery-outfit of Scarlet O’Hara’s, but in a slightly different green?
    “Frankly, my dear Rebecca, I don’t give a damn!”

  • WendyD

    Paula Patton’s fungus might have well been attached to a catsuit for all she could actually walk in that thing. The bodice is so tight I can’t decide if she’s got four boobs, no boobs and a four pack, or two boobs and two scary ribs.

    • Super_Red

      *cue infomercial* Ever find yourself needing a six-pack at a fancy event but always get trashed by the fashion police for carrying it in? Worry no longer! Introducing…. THE FUNGUS DRESS! Turn their heads with your dress with your look, not your beer!

    • Coolekat

      I noticed that 4-pack, too.

  • DeniseSchipani

    READING THIS WAS HANDS DOWN THE BEST PART OF MY DAY! Time traveler. Snort.

    • bravobravp

      this was the perfect way to escape reality, albeit 5 minutes.

  • jonnyf8

    Isn’t it great how Naomi and Liev ALWAYS have sex in the limo before EVERY awards show. Happiest couple in Hollywood!

    • AnneElliot

      I love them, because both of them them are pretty AND talented and they seem like they really love each other without being obnoxious. That is all.

  • sherrietee

    Heidi is looking like she’s trying to channel Cher circa 1977.

    • merciblahblah

      I got more of a Goldie Hawn vibe from her, and that choker was flown in especially for the event from 1991.

    • formerlyAnon

      I was thinking ’70s beach bar, just imagine it rendered in Indian cotton.

  • Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

    Julie Bowen: A dollar store porcelain figure.
    The Paula Patton comment slayed me.

  • Constanza Álvarez Espinoza

    I don’t know who Caitlin Fitzgerald is, but I loved that dress. Attagirl!!
    And that McQueen that Allison Williams wore? That’s the dress Emma Wtson should have worn instead of that Dior hybrid thing.

    • bellafigura1

      She’s Michael Sheen’s wife on Masters of Sex.

  • http://www.wordydoodles.com WordyDoodles

    It may be precious, but I’ve never seen a Carolina Herrera dress that didn’t look perfectly tailored. The structure on those dresses are amazing every time.

    • ailujailuj

      yup. and her hair feathers kinda genius-ly mimics the gathering at the sleeve caps somehow.

      • http://www.wordydoodles.com WordyDoodles

        Interesting observation!

  • ShaoLinKitten

    I liked Rebecca Ferguson’s but… I can’t figure out if that’s blue illusion netting across her bust? Or what? And why?

    • alyce1213

      It’s all one solid fabric, the whole dress.

  • jen

    I THINK YOU SHOULD DO MORE POSTS LIKE THIS! RAAR!

  • Ashleigh

    applause!!! :) :)

  • bravobravp

    You had me at Victorian whorehouse lampshade.

  • LeelaST

    Ohhh…so many issues with so many of these. But Caitlin Fitzgerald’s Betty Draper combo bathrobe/dress is a bridge too far.

    • Coolekat

      I love it!

    • Demeter

      I think she looks like the housekeeper who was asked to fill in at the gala.

    • AnneElliot

      I hate the fabric, it reminds me of a housecoat.

  • zelavie

    Heidi looks like the “nice” girl who will get eliminated in the first episode of Rock of Love.

  • http://weirdinedgewise.blogspot.com ONEWEIRDWORD

    I like the beaded star trek strip – great dress, fab look on MMc — and she knows it!

    • http://weirdinedgewise.blogspot.com ONEWEIRDWORD

      And I think Allison Williams must have a new stylist. Two interesting cool looks in a row, right?

  • merciblahblah

    THROW A CHAMPAGNE FLUTE INTO A FIREPLACE, GIRL! Best line-o-the recap.

  • Alexis Boucher

    Managed to keep it together until ‘ VICTORIAN WHOREHOUSE LAMPSHADE!”

    My cackling laughter most likely interrupted my neighbor’s dinner.

  • teensmom99

    Flanagan & deschanel both do a great job with the mullet, which I call the golden globes gown. Okay, flannagan is on a different planet of perfection.

  • MissWix

    Why is Zooey Deschanel squinting and pursing her lips in every photo?? Honey, you are not Renee Zellweger. Also her makeup is 2 shades too pale and making my eye twitch. I honestly think sans flower with better shoes and makeup would dramatically improve it.

  • marlie

    You guys are hilarious!

    I liked Leslie (Mann?) Apatow’s, Laura Carmichael’s, Allison Williams’, Cheno (except for the horrible makeup), Chastain’s (except for the horrible makeup and hair), Lizzy Caplan’s, Kate Mara’s, and Julie Bowen’s. JB’s was actually one of my favorites, along with Lady Edith.

    WTF with the makeup, Heidi? And REALLY WTF with that dress, Paula?

    • demidaemon

      Yeah, I don’t know about that dress. I’m thinking it’s a FMO or FDQO type dress.

  • Jecca2244

    Jessica Chastain looks like Madame X by JSS and I love it. love it. Julie Bowen looks way better than all my coworkers made it seem. I thought Lizzie Caplan was Alexa Chung.

    • amaranth16

      Haha, I just love that you called him JSS. Like, you’ve moved beyond first name basis. You’re onto cute initials nickname basis. Can I call him J-Sarg?

    • AnneElliot

      I got a definite Art Deco vibe from that dress — sort of like Stacy Keibler’s Oscar dress from last year, which was hands down my favorite.

  • snarkykitten

    I lost it at Fungus Monster

  • http://www.snoskred.org/ Snoskred

    We all been waiting for this post for two days, and it absolutely did not disappoint when it arrived. :)

    Love your work, TLo. I’m gonna throw a whole batch of champagne flutes into the fire, as a celebration. :)

  • formerlyAnon

    Most understatedly stunning dress of the night, though not perhaps most successful, goes to Caitlin Fitzgerald. Melissa McCarthy and Lizzy Caplan tie for the most entirely pleasing Surprises in Dressing.

    I am thinking Ms. Klum’s eldest is seriously pursuing competitive surfing? That’s a very 1970s summer beach bar look – for the first night on the pull after the big breakup and you want word to get back to Him – upscaled of course. Just imagine it in Indian cotton without the train.

  • The Versatile Chef

    STEP AWAY FROM THE RESTYLANE, WEE LITTLE DRAG QUEEN!

    • GorgeousThings

      Same can be said for Heidi. There’s some real weirdness going on around her cheeks and nose, and it’s not the makeup.

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      Word-Kristin has always been so cute, I hate to see her go all tight in the face.

  • Kathy

    Are you kidding? JLD looks amazing!

  • GorgeousThings

    I walked past you today, screaming on the corner of 38th and 7th. Okay, you were screaming about the ALIENS WHO ARE TAKING OVER THE SUBWAY AND DRIVING US ALL TO WASHINGTON DC TO FIGHT THE REPUBLICANS SO THEY WON’T SELL US TO CHINA! But still.

    Did Leslie Mann officially change her name to Apatow?

  • Super_Red

    I LAUGHED OUT LOUD AT YOUR COMMENTARY FOR PAULA PATTON… SUCH A WEIRD DRESS!! HEIDI THINKS ITS 1998, THAT’S THE ONLY EXPLANATION. ZOOEY DESCHANEL WAS A WIN FOR ME EVEN THOUGH I NORMALLY HATE HER!! I DON’T KNOW WHO CAITLIN FITZGERALD IS, BUT SHE IS SECOND PLACE TO MISS LUPITA IN MY OPINION… SUCH A REFRESHING DOSE OF CHIC FOR THE EVENT.

    LOVED JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUSS AND KRISTIN CHENOWITH. AND A BIG ATTAGIRL TO MELISSA MCCARTHY!! SHE LOOKS GREAT!

    (i’ll add a side note that i used “big” to describe the ‘attagirl’ and not melissa mccarthy whom i love to pieces. i realized after i wrote it that some of you BK’s might take it that way, so just don’t.)

    • Coolekat

      Caitlin Fitzgerald plays the first Mrs Masters in Masters of Sex on Showtime. It’s set in the 50s so her wardrobe is just like that dress – the Vogue pattern look. Her maternity clothes on the show are the most beautiful I’ve ever seen.

  • Presumptuous Insect

    Liev Schreiber’s big giant head!

  • understateddiva

    I am loving that TLo’s version of “crazy guy on the subway” sounds EXACTLY like the voice of Michael Kors in their PR screencaps!

  • H2olovngrl

    I love Julie Bowen’s look.

  • par3182

    Caitlin Fitzgerald made me think Keirnan Shipka sure grew up fast.

  • random_poster

    I WANT TO POST JUST BECAUSE THIS MAY BE THE ONLY POST EVER WHERE YOU WON’T GET VIRTUAL SIDE EYE FOR TYPING IN ALL CAPS.

    AND JUST SO I CAN SAY I ADDED TO THE ACTUAL CONVERSATION, CAITLIN FITZGERALD’S LOOK IS BRILLIANT!

  • bitchybitchybitchy

    Mr. B3 and I agreed that if we looked like Lieve and Naomi we’d be having sex in the limo!Damn, but they always look great!

  • Sarah

    Shoot, I like the time traveler :)

  • Vickiefantastico

    Your comment on Rebecca Ferguson (I have no idea who she is) was literally the funniest thing I have ever read of yours. Anybody’s, possibly. I laughed and then giggled for a full two minutes.

  • Sue Shea

    is it me or does everyone’s face look a little weird? is the lighting? it’s kind of scary.

  • http://kittysdrawings.com Esz

    Kate Mara is screaming 1940s screen goddess more than 1980s – the 80s ripped the 40s for that look. LOVE IT

    • Shawn EH

      She raided Rosalind Russell’s storage vault.

  • jw_ny

    I’M PICTURING TLo STANDING ON THE STREET CORNER WITH A MEGA-PHONE HECKLING THE CELEBS AS THEY EXIT THEIR LIMOS. ;)

    • http://howtofaint.tumblr.com/ How to Faint

      Oh my god. Why isn’t that a red carpet program? I would watch the hell out of that big time stylee.

  • katiemckinnie

    LOUD NOISES!!

    (This post made me ridiculously gleeful.)

  • DebbieLovesShoes

    “FUNGUS MONSTER IS LOOKING AT US! FUNGUS MONSTER IS LOOKING AT US!” . . . made me laugh! Love you, TLo!

  • SRQkitten

    Ok, gonna show my age here but Zooey is making me think of Edith Ann (one of Lily Tomlin’s great characters) grown up a bit, maybe teen age. She’s getting close to the point where that look isn’t gonna make it any more.

    • Imasewsure

      And that’s the truth….sp*&^&^&&*** (can’t recreate the razzing/spitting part!)

  • butterflysunita

    Oh, I love red carpet rundowns! That’s the first time I’ve liked anything Allison Williams has worn–that’s a great dress. Why has Paula Patton dragged a dirty white sheet from her bed and draped it over her shoulder?

  • Call me Bee

    All the caps is making my twitchy. Calm down, dear Uncles. The only one I really loved in this bunch is Julie Bowden. Love the two colors and the velvet. So nice for a winter evening.

    • Lilak

      I, too, like Bowen’s look.
      It’s almost the opposite, in every respect, of what she usually wears to these things: It’s got rich color and textural interest, and it gives her a shape and some substance.
      A very nice change indeed!

  • Richard Banger

    BUT JULIE BOWEN WORE COLOR! YOU TWO HAVE BEEN YELLING AT HER FOREVER TO GET HER TO WEAR COLOR! SHE WORE COLOR! COLOR!

    • Shawn EH

      I think Julie looks just fine, actually. Very pretty, very much in her wheelhouse.

  • MarieLD

    Too distracted by Caitlin’s hair and roots not really matching her complexion. Ruins a great dress.

  • quiltrx

    Love Jessica C and Lizzy C’s dresses (styling maybe not so much)!
    And Caitlin went with an unconventional choice that is REALLY working for me–pretty!
    Also, I don’t know Rebecca but I LOVE that color combination (though the neckline has some weirdness). I love anything in the blue/green/purple/turquoise, rather peacock-ish, combo. Looks like something MyAnna Buring would wear on Ripper Street!

  • CeeQ

    My goodness it’s all over bar the SCREAMING. Of which there was lots! Thanks for that, it gave me the giggles =D

    3 things: I want Caitlin Fitzgerald’s shoes. What the hell is it with all the high hair? Zooey Daschanel looks incredibly bad. And ok, 4….Paula Patton….HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

  • LaSylphide

    Who ARE these people? I’ve never heard of literally half of them.

  • LouAnn Darras

    Julie Bowen’s dress is MINE! I adore that dress.

  • Lune

    Leslie Apatow: One does not expect good taste from anyone having anything to do with the surname Apatow. No.

    Zooey Deschanel sans black stockings? [clutches chest, falls over]

    Laura Carmichael: Yes. Yes, you are. <3

  • Viviennne

    Thanks for the great belly laughs ….somehow you always say what I’m thinking and then some! ♥

  • MM4321

    This is not the first time that Paula Patton chooses a dress so tight that it makes her sweat too much. How’s THAT sexy?

  • Inspector_Gidget

    Weird, Rebecca Ferguson’s (who?) neckline makes it look like she’s fading into the two signs in the background.

    Kristen Chenoweth is a bobble-head. And Jessica Chastain scares me! C’mon, stylists!

  • DuBey2

    I thought this was one of the best looks I’ve seen on Jessica Chastain. Her skin was so flattered by the dress and I loved her hair and makeup. I think sometimes her coloring doesn’t do well with a lot of brights (OR nude colors) in her clothing. But this was Just Right.

  • sisterb67

    The skirt of Caitlin Fitzgerald’s dress looks like the pads supplied by UHaul when you’re moving.

    Also, if I spent my time in Liev Schreiber’s orbit? We would always look like we just had sex in a limo because I would SO hit that. Mee. YOW.

  • majorbedhead

    The fungus monster thing made me snort wine thru my nose.

  • lifeisastory

    Normally caps lock annoys the crap out of me, but for some reason, this is cracking my ish up. It’s like TLo: the speed round.

  • Susan Velazquez

    “VICTORIAN WHOREHOUSE LAMPSHADE!” That cracked me up

  • lockmm

    I haven’t laughed this hard at a TLo post in a long time.

  • http://trooperschaf.blogspot.de/ TrooperSchaf

    Sure that is Heidi Klum??? Dammit, I didn’t recognize her. what the hell happened to her face? I hope it is just weird lighting!

  • sunflower

    Jessica Chastain always does that hair and it always looks messy, greasy, and awful!

  • veleri

    Jessica Chastain in Lana del Rey.

  • Tanya Wade

    Oh, how relieved I am you loved Caitlin’s blue and orange as much as I did! Also, “fungus monster” is all I will be thinking today.

  • Diego!

    Naomi is the big winner, hands down. And her husband Live too. What I don’t get guys, sorry for mentioning, is how come you gave Reese a WERQ label when Julia Louis-Dreyfus is wearing a similar dress which fits her better and looks better than Reese’s. I still don’t get that.
    Special mention: Paula Patton is still on the run for being the next Drag Superstar in Rupaul’s Drag Race. You go, girl!

    • Anna_Cecilia

      My instinct is to tell her to sashay away but your comment cracked me up over my morning coffee, thanks!

      • Diego!

        hahahahaha love the ‘sashay away’ thing <3

  • Vainte

    There is coffee in my keyboard and on my monitor. Damn you FUNGUS MONSTER.

  • ewes_urn_aim

    Caitlin Fitzgerald -WOW!

  • xmixiex

    MMM LIEV.

  • sienna elm

    Omg! You guys should use the crazy subway person method on a more regular basis. I’m at the airport waiting for a two hour delayed flight and I’m struggling to keep my giggles to myself! I absolutely love it and I’d really love to have drinks with you sometime. (always did but even moreso now!)

  • Little_Olive

    LOVELOVELOVE THIS STRING OF COMMENTS À LA KANYE!!! EVERYTHING MAKES MORE SENSE LIKE THIS!! KEEP IT UP, UNCLES!!

  • Lily-Rygh

    I have no idea who that Caitlin woman is, but her dress is gorge!

    But Heidi’s face looks weird…almost like her eyes are pulling up at the outsides. Did Our Lady of the Runway actually have something done??

  • Kelly

    Yay! I love these rundowns — like the grand finale of a fireworks show. So much to love and hate. I find myself quite taken with Caitlyn F’s odd gown — I don’t know who she is, but I like the 50s-glamour vibe of the dress. Even with her hair down, she’s channeling Grace Kelly. Yeah, the skirt’s a bit much, but (for now, at least), I like this show-off-the-shoe trend. I understand that she wouldn’t have wanted matchy shoes (horrors!), but I do wish she hadn’t picked such a greeny turquoise with that periwinkle dress. Too clashy.
    I like Lizzy Caplan’s dress, too — different and fun and chic. Zooey D — not an outfit that would work for most people, but on her it looks pretty and fun and just different enough not to be twee. And Laura Carmichael IS a pretty sister, dammit! Naomi Watts’s look I find totally boring. And Melissa, dear, an updo is one thing. Looking like Alice from “The Brady Bunch” is another thing — a thing you don’t want.

  • Danielle

    Caitlin Fitzgerald is probably my very favorite thing about Masters of Sex (and I have a lot of favorite things about Masters of Sex). She’s flawless.

  • lobsterlen

    Thats Zooey? Really? Her face looks completely different.

  • Tlazolteotl

    It’s the Uncles as voiced by DRUNK HULK! Love it.

  • Nancer

    VICTORIAN WHOREHOUSE LAMPSHADE!!!! You guys kill me. :]

  • KinoEye

    Oh, TLo, you slay me. Between “VICTORIAN WHOREHOUSE LAMPSHADE” and “FUNGUS MONSTER IS LOOKING AT US!”, I busted a lung. Also, the idea of Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts having sex in the limo on the way over creates some very nice mental pictures. Yeah, I’m a perv.

  • Imasewsure

    Glad you gave props to Ms Williams… I’m not sure I like or dislike the dress itself but I appreciate the effort… wish Melissa McCarthy would ditch that hairstyle. I hate it on everyone but I really never like it on her (and it’s one of her go-to RC styles unfortunately). Liked the dress though!

    • Gatto Nero

      Ditto on Ms. Williams (grudgingly). Re: McCarthy’s hair, I think she’s trying to add height and elongate herself by any means possible. Not working, though.

  • Shawn EH

    You’re the crazy uncles we want to sit near on the subway! Two snaps!

  • PeaceBang

    THANK YOU FOR YELLING! IT MADE ME SNORT WITH LAUGHTER. NOW I HAVE TEARS AND SMEARED EYE MAKE-UP AT WORK.

  • Gatto Nero

    I hate those trashy, overworked Marchesa messes.
    Love your rundown!

  • Carleenml

    I got to Heidi and decided it’s official, I’ve just parted ways with the TLo fashion sense because we hardly ever agree anymore…but they got me back with Lizzy. I was certain they wouldn’t like it and I love it.

  • frannyprof

    HEIDI LOOKS LIKE A HOT MESS

    • Liz Lake

      I felt like hitting my head against a keyboard when I read that they kind of liked Heidi’s dress. Personally I was wondering if it was because she looked less desperate than she’s looked everytime she’s stepped out on the red carpet the last year or two or five…. I just thought she looked like a modern wild west saloon girl in that get up. HEIDI. HIRE A STYLIST! I’m trying not to be a schadenfreude about your fashion train wreck….. but it is becoming harder and harder

    • webslice33

      yes, she can only carry a swimsuit, but not a gown..

  • webslice33

    laura carmichael is indeed pretty!!! love her look…and paula patton just wants to be talked about..she knows it’s hideous!

  • Bruce

    I thought Julie Bowen looked like Cinderella, age 50.

  • yllas

    I don’t know who Caitlin Fitzgerald is. The color is stunning. The draped skirt is stunning. But between the neck and the waist, she is wearing Betty Draper’s early 60′s (polyester?) summer top she wears grocery shopping. That top half deserves white pedal pushers with maybe small embroidered blue turtles…..Paula Patton has obviously been sprayed with white latex paint, and that big ruffle is the wadded up tarp she was standing on. (This is an outfit that looks whimsical on paper, just doesn’t translate into ‘wearable’ in real life.) Nice try, though, she got herself noticed big time.

  • JaCory Deon

    So Melissa McCarthy needs to make friends with some gay drag queens ASAP because I’ve yet to see her knock it out of the park in anything. I’ve seen big girls (ala drag queens) pull out something fiercer on a Monday night at a local watering hole. Who is dressing her anyway?

    There’s entirely too much “Pour It Up” or “Princess Yum Yum” being served here, and not in a good way. Too many girls trying to dress like women and women trying to dress like little girls. No.

  • Tracy_Flick

    Julie Bowen is a walking Kate Spade gift box.

  • ThaliaMenninger

    I want Kate Mara and Kiernan Shipka to play sisters. Also Kate Beckinsale and Emma Watson. Just a thought.

  • Jacob Bowen

    Let’s face it, Kristin Chenoweth is kind of a dra queen anyway…

  • Akemi

    I don’t actually know who Paula Patton is, so now I will forever associate her with that fucking terrible dress.

  • St. Ace

    Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber look like “Diane and Josh”-lite.

  • calbear97

    I know this is old but I’m *way* behind on my T&Lo (this was on page 16!) but I have to say the SHOUTS were excellent, really funny. Especially the Zooey one. Good stuff fellas!