Coat Porn: Victoria Beckham in Victoria Beckham at “The Class Of 92″ World Premiere

Posted on December 02, 2013

Your Coat Porn entry for the day, darlings.

Victoria Beckham attends the premiere of “The Class of 92″ at Odeon West End in London, UK in a Victoria Beckham dress and coat paired with Casadei pumps.

Victoria Beckham Fall 2012 Collection

Also your Foot Pain entry for the day, as well as your People Who Literally Can’t Smile Trying to Smile entry for the day and possibly your Hair Is Not A Scarf entry for the day.

But really, it’s all about the coat here.






[Photo Credit: Famous/ACE/, Zak Hussein/,]

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    • BayTampaBay

      Is that her real hair or does she have extensions?

      • MilaXX

        That looks like hers. At least this time.

        • willworktomorrow

          MilaXX, how can you tell? I don’t know what to look at and would love your tips on that.

          • MilaXX

            You can’t or shouldn’t always be able to tell. I look for change in color texture, lace fronts often make the hairline look odd. The extensions sometimes hang differently.

            • willworktomorrow

              Thank you!

        • Rhonda Shore

          I preferred her pixie cut.

      • tereliz

        She’s been growing it out since Harper was born, it’s her own hair. I hate to admit it but she’s been on my irrational love list since I was 15.

        • terpsichory

          No shame in admitting that. I would always choose the classy Spice Girl.

          • anotherkate

            I say this with nothing but love for The Spice Girls but…there was no “classy” one. Posh’s skirts were downright gynecological (as they should be, for she was a pop star, darnit!) 😉

            • terpsichory

              Oh, compared to the rest of the lot, she absolutely was! I’ll only say ‘Union Jack’ shudder

    • Akemi

      It’s probably never cold enough here for that coat, but I want it anyway.

      • Kristin McNamara

        See, I was thinking, “If it’s cold enough for that coat, then it’s damn sure cold enough that she should have something covering her legs!” I mean honestly. You can SEE her goosebumps!!

    • MilaXX

      I can’t help it. I love Vicky. Also, hair as a scarf is crazy warm. I do it with my locs. At least you can’t lose your hair.

      • Sarah

        I used to do that too! I had ’em for 13 years, so it made for a very long, very hot scarf. Very heavy, too, so I had to cut ’em off eventually :(

      • terpsichory

        Right? It’s my last defence when I suddenly realise I forgot my scarf. Just let the hair down.

      • venusvelvet

        I think of mine as a hair cape. :)

      • kimmeister

        Winter is when I dislike having short hair the most, for that very reason.

    • BrooklynBomber

      May I add Stupidity of Bare Legs in Coat Weather entry for the day?

      • Vickiefantastico

        THANK you! I was all happy to see her bundled up, and then I got to the legs. Scroll down sheesh for me!

        • BrooklynBomber

          “Scroll down sheesh” is a keeper!

          • NYCGlamourpuss

            Haah! “Scroll Down Sheesh” is awesome!

      • marlie

        And that is a short dress, so there’s LOTS of leg exposed.

      • NYCGlamourpuss

        I complained about it too!

    • Glam Dixie

      God, I keep staring at her poor feet. I do love that coat, but her hair scarf is not super flattering.

    • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

      Her shoes are too big for her. Does she EVER smile?

      • NMMagpie

        Once. On Project Runway.

        • Latin Buddy

          I think she smiled when Christian Siriano came out with his collection.

        • Bridget Smith

          There’s also a fleeting moment in the Spice Girls movie where she giggles before hiding her mouth. She has the most ADORABLE smile. But I think it’s the thing she is irrationally ashamed of, so she never smiles for pictures.

    • formerlyAnon

      When you guys call Coat Porn, you are so reliably correct. I love that about you.

      Shoes are a tribute to form not just over, but completely stomping into the ground, function.

    • nannypoo

      I feel she’s judging me and not liking what she sees.

      • terpsichory

        In my case, she’s entirely justified.

        • NYCGlamourpuss

          Oh, she hates me. Haaaaates me.

      • DebbieLovesShoes

        Wow, somebody else thinks that, as well? I always thinking she’s mentally commenting, “Oh honey, it’s too bad about your hips”.

    • alyce1213

      The coat she’s wearing is very nice but I have to ask — is it even the same coat as the runway model? The epaulettes are different and there are brass studs on one and not the other. I like them both.
      I don’t get bare legs and winter coats at the same time, like wearing sandals in the snow.

      • tereliz

        She’s wearing it loose so it looks oversize and drapey instead of buttoned up and military, which was so last winter…

        • alyce1213

          I realize she’s wearing it open, but it appears to be a different coat to me.

          • Sarah

            Same shoulder details, same brass detail on seam of Posh’s right side. Only difference is that you can see the brass snaps from the inside of the double breast since she has it open.

            • alyce1213

              Oh I see that the brass snaps are on the inside, so they’re not visible on the model’s closed coat. But the epaulettes on the model’s coat have buttons on the outer edge and her coat has them on the inside, near the collar. Small detail, but since I was mistaken about the brass snaps I though it was a different coat.

            • Sarah

              Yeah I see that the epaulettes don’t look the same but I figured it was a choice in how they were styling it, but maybe it is slightly different – it is really hard to see the details on the monitor.

          • tereliz

            I think you might be right. The epaulettes are covered by her hair but yeah, those lapels are very different, aren’t they? Not just because of the way she’s wearing it open, or a larger size.

            What I meant is that she’s wearing it open BECAUSE loose and drapey is so fetch right now for overcoats, rather than the way she sent it down the runway. 😉

    • Julia

      Who does she think she is, Kate Middleton?

      • Danielle

        YES! I shouted CATHY! at the close-up of her face.

    • Tatiana Luján

      Her face looks really sweet, but the uncovered legs bother me.

    • ashtangajunkie

      Love her, love the coat.

    • merciblahblah

      I misread the first line as “Your corn pone entry for the day,” and it made me giggle. That is all. Oh, I DO like her coat.

      • DebbieLovesShoes


    • bitchybitchybitchy

      I like the coat, but would like it even more if there were even a tiny pop of color somewhere here. Just looking at those shoes hurts my knees and feet.

      • 3boysful

        Her feet look almost like she is en pointe in those painful-looking things. All she needs to do is point the toes and she’s there.

      • call_me_schmeg

        Just don’t google “Victoria Beckham feet.”

    • annabelle archer

      The coat is so pedestrian, that I can’t help but to look at her feet. Girl. No. Stop. That shit is completely unnecessary.

    • marlie

      I think I like the coat, but I wish it was belted like it is on the runway. It also looks like it’s a size bigger on Posh than it does on the model. Also, also, it still baffles me that a ladystar – this time one who makes her own clothes, for chrissakes – can’t get her hands on shoes that fit.

      • Lizzyisi

        I thought the same thing! Only I assumed those were her own shoes, not lender-shoes. Why don’t
        they fit? I usually wear 2-3 inch heels and I can’t imagine how
        uncomfortable it is to walk in heels that don’t stay on one’s feet.

        • Aaminah Khan

          I wear six inch heels sometimes, but always in the right size. They’re very manageable if they fit correctly!

      • DebbieLovesShoes

        I liked it belted, as well.

      • foodycatAlicia

        I love the way it is belted on the runway!

    • NDC_IPCentral

      For as tippy-toes as Ms. Beckham appears to be in her footwear, I assume partly to gain some height, why doesn’t she just go full Black Swan and don pointe shoes?

      • alyce1213

        These shoes are practically fetishy. Her feet will be thoroughly wrecked when she’s older.

        • Heron

          Seriously – imagine her feet in the same position, only without the shoes. NIGHTMARISH.

          • venusvelvet

            Like Barbie.

        • DebbieLovesShoes

          wrecked, for sure.

    • SewingSiren

      Pain personified.

    • RidgewayGirl

      Her feet look like they are about break.

    • Sarah

      Raccoon Eyes For the Day also, it would appear. And wtf is “Class of 92″? Cuz that’s me, and I am not ready to have a cast of people that might include Posh represent my generation on the big screen, if it is what I think it is.

      • marlie

        ’92 is close enough to my era that I totally thought “I’m not THAT old that they’re making movies about us now!”

      • jif

        It’s about the players who joined ManU in ’92; unless you were one of them, you need not worry. :)

        She would look vastly better without Raccoon Eyes.

    •!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      Yet another reason spray tan is just awful: it makes goose flesh much more visible. And heaven help me, I want those shoes even I can only ever stand and pose in them.

    • Qitkat

      Copied from IMDB.

      The Class of 92, a cinematic documentary detailing the rise to prominence and global sporting superstardom of six supremely talented young Manchester United footballers (David Beckham, Nicky Butt, Ryan Giggs, Paul Scholes, Phil and Gary Neville). The film covers the period 1992-1999, culminating in Manchester United’s European Cup triumph, and will dramatically interweave and mirror the highs and lows of its football odyssey with the immense social and cultural changes taking place in Britain at the time.

      • terpsichory

        I would not be a able to watch this in a movie theatre. Sport documentaries/retrospectives and their inherent pathos enevitably get the waterworks flowing. I’d look like a nutter.

        • cbt22

          Oh god, me too! I even tear up during those commercials they do for the Olympics.

          • terpsichory

            Guilty as charged.

      • MannahattaMamma

        seriously. yikes. I think we should all just watch “bend it like beckham” again and call it a night. Or day, depending on your time zone.

    • Nika E

      She looks odd here o_O but yeah that coat is fantastic

    • MinAgain

      Her affected posture always annoys me so much that I can’t pay attention to her clothes..

    • crash1212

      Coat. Want. Now.

    • Kiltdntiltd

      Gotta say I love the coat closed, And I hate how it hangs when its open.

      • DebbieLovesShoes


    • Fatima Siddique

      I don’t care for the eye make-up.
      And I can’t believe somebody made a movie about those fools.

    • Anna_Cecilia

      Ah, Vicky, bless her dedicated follower of fashion-ness. I feel like I’ve injured myself vicariously from looking at her feet and ankles.

      The coat is sumptuous but I wish she’d worn it with the belt.

    • Imasewsure

      I think she and JLaw should basically never smile. JLaw’s “gorgeous resting face” and Vicky’s “bitch face” don’t translate well to smiley face land all that well.

      Love this length of coat/dress on her

      • ShaoLinKitten

        I love JLaw’s smile. Smiling is her natural state. I also love Vicky’s bitchface–also her natural state.

    • Tracy_Flick

      Wow, celebrity pickins are extremely slim today. Posh in a coat. YAWN. Somebody roust Swinton out of bed and direct her towards a red carpet, please.

      • marlie

        I’d pay to see what SWINTON wears to take the trash out.

        ETA: HA! As if SWINTON takes her own trash out.

        • foodycatAlicia

          I’m sure either her husband or her lover take the trash out in her family.

          Actually, for all the alien beauty I think of her as a very sensible person, so I bet the kids have chores.

    • LJCdoc

      She just can’t smile because her feet hurt too much. I want that coat, for my collection of fantasy coats I can never actually wear because I live in California.

    • Ann VerWiebe

      If you wear shoes that high for long enough, do the nerve endings in your feet eventually die? It must be the same for ballerinas.

      • NDC_IPCentral

        Shortened Achilles tendons, bunions, plantar fascitis, corns. As to peripheral neuropathy, probably not.

    • A Shiny O’Connor

      For crying out loud, SOMEONE TEACH HER ANOTHER POSE. So sick of the ‘wearing the leg to the side’ frozen pole-dance.

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      She’s kind of wearing it so bunchy and opened that it’s hard to tell the shape, if not for the model. I like it better on the model. Plus, a heavy coat like that, and she’s bare legged? It’s like that no-sock guy with the big heavy coat on – it doesn’t register.

      And she’s wearing far too much dark eye makeup. There. I think I got my crankiness out of my system for now.

      • Fordzo

        I agree. Pick a season and stick with it. I love the boots and socks on the model. If I had adorable knees, I’d go around like that all the time.

    • Trickytrisha

      Poor thing looks miserable. Maybe she’s afraid her extensions will strangle her.

    • suzq

      It’s also the “I Own the Company and Designed the Coat so it will be Tailored Perfectly to My Height and Body Shape” entry of the day.
      Starlets, don’t expect the same attention to detail.

    • phylora

      Those shoes! She’s practically en pointe.

    • Danielle

      My feet hurt just looking at these pics, but I covet her cheekbones.

    • Isabel

      Tan – from a tropical vacation or a spray?

    • ThaliaMenninger

      The coat is fabulous with the belt and the boots. Much less so with torture shoes and no waist.

    • GillianHolroyd

      I dunno. She looks like she is drowning in hair and too much eye makeup.

    • andi56

      Oh, heavens no. The sleeves are too long and not in a cool, I-don’t-care sort of way, the shoes are too big, she slouches like my 6″ tall niece, and she always looks like she’s two seconds away from needing a rabies shot. It might be all about the coat, had it been worn by someone else.
      Those seem to be extensions, since her hair always looks much thinner than that.

      • andi56

        Oh, hah! I meant six foot tall! Not six inches. Although she’d probably be adorable that small, too.

        • sisterb67

          Heh. If she were six inches tall, she’d probably love the 18″ tall Stonehenge in the Spinal Tap prop warehouse :)

          • andi56

            One of the funniest scenes ever! A classic! : )

    • snarkykitten

      ehh, not feeling it. it looks too baggy

    • quiltrx

      I don’t know…I wish she had actually *worn* the coat instead of sort of wallowing around in it.
      Also, her hair (or ‘hair’) looks dirty, and with those shoes it’s no wonder her feet are so torn up.

    • H2olovngrl

      Her feet are scaring me a little, but her legs look divine.

    • Jacob Bowen

      BUCKLE THE DAMN COAT! I want to wear that coat SO badly…

    • Aaminah Khan

      I do love Vicki Posh. She gives excellent bitchface, bless her.

    • Diego!

      You know it’s a great coat, but without the belt as in the runway version, it lacks something to stand out. Those shoes are a size too big honey… and try to smile a little bit. It would look great on you

    • Patrick Cleary

      The coat looks great, but the photos of VB don’t quite capture it. The positions make it look like she’s being swallowed by the coat.

    • Fannie Wolston

      a mother of three still looking like seventeen, really is that peach fuzz on her cheek? Can she just go into any shop and grab her label off the rack? Out of -2’s m’lady would a sz 4 do?

    • lizlemonglasses

      I have literally never seen a foot angled like that except on a Barbie. Woah.

    • knockknockknockpenny

      LOVE that coat. Her poor, poor feet though!

    • stubbornthoughts

      You guys see foot pain, I see an amazing foot arch that I wish I had.

      God, the Becks are so fucking pretty.

    • MoHub

      Them’s some huge shoes there!

    • Adriana_Paula

      I love the socks/legwarmers/boots on the model.

    • Lilyana_F

      I love the coat, but why is everything too big for her?

    • Synnamin

      I can’t even figure out what it going on with her feet. Feet shouldn’t DO that! they look articulated in the middle, as if there’s a major joint there that shouldn’t exist

    • Sonja Brisson

      We –well maybe I – just want to be this thin and glamorous. I don’t get the cult around her husband, who doesn’t seem too bright and for me, is just meh, but she has it going on. Her clothing line is sane and fashionable. Even if it is insane to wear a heavy wool coat and no stockings. I miss the sharp edged Sassoon haircut..

    • Erica_Vuitton

      This bitch…. OMG LUV HUH! Seriously she looks about 16 in these pics. Virgin blood… it has to be virgin blood that she drinks to stay like this. She legit looks younger here than in her Spice Girls days.

    • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

      I don’t like her because she never smiles. I know this is irrational because she might not feel much like smiling, given that she hasn’t eaten since 1992 and she wears painful clothing, much of it her own design. But I don’t like her.