T Lo’s WORST RED CARPET LOOKS OF 2013, PART 1

Posted on December 30, 2013

*Cracking knuckles*

Let’s DO this.

We kind of relish this moment, because nothing gets readers all kinds of het up than hearing someone declare that an outfit they liked on a star they admire is one of the worst of the year. Or worse, that an outfit they despise somehow didn’t get on the list. Delicious fan rage. We love it so.

But honestly, like all of the click-bait year-end lists that you’ve been bombarded with for the last month, this is all entirely subjective. We stand firmly behind the idea that every look on this list deserved to be listed among the worst and would silently question the taste of anyone who would argue otherwise, but we also acknowledge that our own idiosyncratic methods of determination left some clearly ugly and half-assed outfits unmentioned. Basically, we could’ve just picked 15 guystars looking like they rolled out of bed and onto the red carpet and called it a day, since no group puts less work into their public style than young male stars. Or we could have done an all-Lena Dunham list and found it easy to defend. But we tend to look at a whole bunch of factors, like the intent behind the outfit (there’s failing to try and then there’s trying and failing), the needs of the person wearing it, and the event they’re attending. But let’s not overexplain. Let’s just get to the bitchery, shall we? Strap yourselves in.

15. Robert Downey Jr. in Vivienne Westwood

Robert Downey Jr. attends the ‘Iron Man 3’ South Korea Premiere in Vivienne Westwood.

 

The ladies do NOT like it when we rag on their beloved RDJ, but we care not. The man is a joke from a style perspective. As you can see, he’s wearing an entirely too-tricky-for-RDJ Westwood tuxedo which neither fits nor suits him. As you can also see, he’s paired it with his usual choice of footwear, something gigantic and appropriate for a boy 40 years younger than him. What you might not see unless you click through to the original post and more pics, is that HIS FREAKING FLY IS UNDONE ON THE RED CARPET. We said it at the time and we’ll say it again: a whole lot of people spent hundreds of hours and hundreds of millions of dollars to get RDJ to that red carpet to promote that project. There’s a point at which your very-studied-and-practiced insouciance borders on disrespect. You’re a mature man and a movie star. Act like both.

 

14. Zosia Mamet in Honor

“Girls” Zosia Mamet attends the 2013 Primetime Emmy Awards held at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live in Los Angeles, California in an Honor dress.

 

Here’s a perfect example of what we mean by “failing to try” vs. “trying and failing.” She went out in public wearing some truly ugly don’t-give-a-fuck outfits this year, but when we take them on their own terms (i.e., that she doesn’t give a fuck) then we’re forced to come down harder on outfits like these, where she clearly tried to do her version of red carpet glamour but only wound up subjecting herself to a whole lot of “sleeping Lone Ranger” jokes from bitches like us.

Seriously, we keep waiting for her boobs to open their eyes.

 

13. Emma Roberts in Lanvin

“American Horror Story: Coven” star Emma Roberts attends the 2013 American Music Awards held at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live in Los Angeles, California in a Lanvin dress paired with Casadei shoes and a RODO clutch.

 

A droopy silver trashbag paired with bridesmaid accessories. Nothing more needs to be said about this assault to eyes everywhere.

 

12. Jessica Paré in Oscar de la Renta

“Mad Men” star Jessica Paré attends the 2013 Primetime Emmy Awards held at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live in Los Angeles, California in an Oscar de la Renta dress.

She kind of looks like she left the house in a really pretty dress, impeccably styled, then got into a fender bender on the way over and was forced to walk on the side of a freeway for several miles before showing up on the red carpet.

11. Claire Danes in Armani Privé

“Homeland” star Claire Danes attends the 2013 Primetime Emmy Awards held at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live in Los Angeles, California in an Armani Privé dress paired with Neil Lane jewelry.

We really have to salute whoever put this look together. The dress and the haircut are both horribly unflattering AND they’re both blandly colorless. It’s a very unified and put-together form of ugly, we’ll give it that. She’s a pair of lips floating in a sea of nothing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: INFPhoto.com, PRPhotos.com, Getty Images]

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