T Lo’s WORST Red Carpet Looks of 2013, Part 2

Posted on December 31, 2013

The Bitchery Train keeps rolling along, darlings! Hop on board! Start from the beginning, so you don’t miss one judgmental line!



10. Lena Dunham in Prada

“Girls” star Lena Dunham attends the 2013 Primetime Emmy Awards held at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live in Los Angeles, California in a custom Prada gown paired with Neil Lane jewelry.



Sure, you could argue she wore much worse outfits than this in the last twelve months, but we think nothing sums up Lena’s problems with fashion better than this dress. You have Prada offering to make you a custom gown out of a gorgeous fabric that looks great on you. This is what you ultimately wind up deciding upon. A droopy-boob’d, short-waisted, floofy-skirted nightmare of a gown.



9. Kristen Stewart in Stella McCartney

Kristen Stewart attends the 2013 Met Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City in Stella McCartney.



Because what woman wouldn’t want a jumpsuit that gives her a giant vulva that starts at her knees and goes up to her belly button?



8. Lily Rabe in Vionnet

“American Horror Story” star Lily Rabe attends the 2013 Primetime Emmy Awards held at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live in Los Angeles, California in a Vionnet gown.


It’s like the ’80s got drunk and threw up all over her.



7. Jennifer Lawrence in Valentino Couture

Jennifer Lawrence attends People’s Choice Awards 2013 in a Valentino couture dress paired with Nicholas Kirkwood diamond-encrusted black satin pumps, and Cartier jewelry.


More suited for Vicki Lawrence than Jennifer Lawrence, we’re afraid. Actually, we’re shocked that her entry on the worst-dressed list does not have her wearing a Dior, which provided with numerous disastrous red carpet looks this year. But for us, nothing she wore was quite as awkward and badly chosen as this dress, which demands your attention. There’s your usual ugly or ill-chosen dress and then there’s the “EVERYBODY LOOK AT MY UGLY AND ILL-CHOSEN DRESS” dress.



6. Paz Vega in Stephane Rolland

Paz Vega attends the ‘Jimmy P. (Psychotherapy Of A Plains Indian)’ Premiere during the 66th Annual Cannes Film Festival in a Stéphane Rolland gown.



Oh, please. A dentist’s smock, a drag queen skirt, and an easy access strip. Go home, Paz Vega. You’re drunk.




[Photo Credit: INFPhoto.com, PRPhotos.com, Getty Images]

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  • PastryGoddess

    Oh, please. A dentist’s smock, a drag queen skirt, and an easy access strip. Go home, Paz Vega. You’re drunk.

    Best comment of the day

    • Mary229

      Particularly painful to watch too because I think she is absolutely gorgeous. But yeah that outfit is laughably bad.

    • Evan

      The icing on the cake is she looks very pleased with herself. She must have been drunk.

    • Elizabeth Davis-Simpson

      At first glance, it appears her skirt is falling down.

      • brown-eyed girl

        And she knows it and is standing very still . . .

    • judybrowni

      Somehow I missed that outfit (????) the first time round TLO assessed it.

      So my gasp and WHAT THE.FUCK..were a first reaction.

      I’d expect that thing from Paz de la Huerto, not this Paz.

      • Lauren Hall

        Ay, let us say a prayer for Paz de la Huerto, who always showed up to the red carpet looking like she had just come from a strip lounge and had been eating some old cake.

    • Jessica O’Connell

      I don’t know… I think “Because what woman wouldn’t want a jumpsuit that gives her a giant vulva
      that starts at her knees and goes up to her belly button?” gives it a run for its money.

  • Cate

    Somewhere Emma Roberts is kicking herself for not getting her hands on J-Law’s Valentino dress.

  • Diego!

    I think this won’t be the only entry of Lena Dunham on this list. I adored your comments on Kristen Stewart’s vagina and Paz Vega and her abuse of alcohol that evening. LOL xD

  • EverybodysStarling

    Paz Vega’s dress is roadkill on the stairway to heaven…

    Happy new year everybody!

  • Donyelle

    Jennifer Lawrence looks like a Mandrell Sister style by Bob Mackie

    • filmcricket

      Nailed it.

  • mmebam

    Anyone else want to do a drive-by on Paz’s dress with some fabric scissors?

  • Victoria Anzalone

    Like the Claire Danes invisible dress, I still have a soft spot for Lena Dunham’s horribly proportioned Prada gown. I thought it was just my gorgeous fabric beer goggles tricking me again, but I realize now it’s also because that is pretty much the EXACT cut of my wedding dress. Fit really makes all the difference!

    • @Biting Panda

      I did too. I defended it the morning after. I was blinded by fabric science. The fit ruins it all though. I can accept that now.

  • I knew Lena Dunham would be on this list, and I was SURE you would pick the black horror by Theysken’s Theory she wore in November…….I was wrong. But I get your point about the Prada “summing up her fashion problems”. Plus she looks so dreadfully unhappy in that photo: no smile, slumping, and graceless.

    Thanks for the reminders about the other awful frocks. I had forgotten a lot of them. Can’t wait for installment #3!

    • ShaoLinKitten

      I agree about Lena Dunham– this dress is not even close to her worst entry of the year. The black lattice horror you refer to, for instance, was much worse than this. At least the dress itself is cute, even if it does not fit her, and she is clearly miserable in it.

    • StellaZafella

      Dunham in the Prada reminds me of my aunt who fancied herself a sewing genius and showed up at every family function in the same mess, different fabric, every time.

    • MartyBellerMask

      But this was the EMMYS. So it’s a FAILx100.

    • Sam Smith

      That Prada print was just so beautiful, it almost feels like a tragedy that is was sacrificed to such an ugly dress and a gal who won’t smile or stand up straight. Kinda like the Zoisa dress from yesterday, the one with the book shadow.

    • marlie

      I get why this particular Dunham disaster was on the list. This wasn’t an “off-the-runway” version that they tried to make work for her. This was CUSTOM MADE. So there’s absolutely no excuse whatsoever for this not to fit and flatter her body perfectly. Someone at Prada dropped the ball by designing this, and Lena – or someone in her camp – dropped the ball again by okay-ing it.

      • demidaemon

        There is also the fact that she probably had some input during the design process, which means the design and fit is at least partially her fault.

  • LostDancer

    Paz Vega looks like she’s blasting off

  • jilly_d

    Sweet Christ, I had wiped that Stella McCartney monstrosity of a jumpsuit from my mind entirely.

    • Constant Reader

      I think I must have done the same thing because it came to me as fresh hell this morning. How could I have forgotten THAT?

      • StellaZafella

        The toreador wore red…boy, was the bull pissed off.

      • CatherineRhodes

        In addition to giving her a 22-inch vulva, that jumpsuit makes her hips look gigantic. Stella McCartney should be arrested for crimes against the female body.

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      That Stella McCartney is hiddy to the max. It compounds KStew’s general discomfort.

    • kimmeister

      I completed deleted it, as well as #8, from my memory as well.

  • Kristen Stewart’s is the worst IMO, mainly because you would think that if any young lady at the Met Gala would be able to pull off the punk theme in any kind of remotely convincing or interesting way, it would have been her. And instead she decided to wear the ugliest garment Stella McCartney has ever produced (which is really saying something).

    • Kate Andrews

      Maybe Kristen thinks that’s being punk. :/

      • It is entirely possible that she was just trolling.

    • Lori

      I was with you until “the ugliest garment Stella McCartney has ever produced.” I swear she’s made uglier. At least Kristen’s giant vulva was a nice color. And yes, that is damning with faint praise.

  • Kate Andrews

    Not just JLaw’s dress, but the bronzer. Not Good.

    • ShaoLinKitten

      I think the Fug Girls referred to this dress as a “semi-Xanadu.” She does look like she’s out for a night of disco dancing, doesn’t she? Someone ought to tell her not to put the bronzer only on her face. And it pains me to mock her, because I do love JLaw, but she has really made some fashion misses this year. This dress is bad, but it might not be her worst of the year.

  • Frank_821

    Yes the Lena gown is a sad, sad example. They could have made something that was fun and quirky but style formal and stylish on her. You have to wonder who is advising her. Whoever it is clearly doesn’t know how to to reconcile her persona with fashion. Even if that person is herself

  • BendinIntheWind

    God, that Lena Dunham dress PAINS me because I LOVE THAT FABRIC MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF.

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      The fabric has definite possibilities, but that design is not using it well.at.all. It makes this BK sad.

    • Inspector_Gidget

      Definitely the worst of the lot. She looks like a Christmas tree.

  • CatherineRhodes

    Somebody explain to me what is going on with Paz Vega’s dress. Is it two pieces? Is the bottom falling down? Is this the equivalent of a “sagger” skirt?

    • Constant Reader

      I think there is a strip of illusion netting holding the two parts together. Why the designer was going for the illusion of “about to sit on the toilet” is beyond me.

  • @Biting Panda

    Wow, this is a lot of awful, isn’t it? Somehow, I’d missed Lily’s, in the moment. Seeing it now, I recoiled. It’s hard to call a worst winner out of this group. I’m not sure which face sells it more…Kristen’s usual shitty scowl, or Jennifer’a pained, supremely uncomfortable smile.

  • shaziz

    A) who the hell is Paz Vega and B) did she step on a bird?

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      Paz was in at least the first season of “Boardwalk Empire”, and if memory serves me correctly she spent a good part of her screen time semi-nude bouncing on someone’s lap. She also was the face/body of the Agent Provocateur lingerie line.

      • Wasn’t that Paz de la Huerta – known mostly for appalling makeup choices on the red carpet – not Paz Vega?

        • bitchybitchybitchy

          I believe you’re right -I stand corrected.

      • kimmeister

        She also had a memorable turn in the movie “Spanglish.”

      • MilaXX

        nope that Paz de la Huerta. Paz Vega is the saner Paz.

        • Lori

          Paz Vega is the saner Paz.

          Considering what she’s wearing this is saying a great deal about what a whacko Paz de la Huerta is. It takes a really impressive level of nuts to be this hot mess.

  • Judy_S

    After that last horror, I am really getting excited for the 5 worst looks.

  • Fordzo

    I’m just curious; when **STARS** get to wear a custom gown from a designer like Prada, how much input do they get in the design process? How much blame can be placed on Lena Dunham, and how much rests with the design house?

    • marlie

      I’d think that a huge amount of the blame rests on the design house, BUT Lena or her stylist or SOMEONE should have had some input as to what they wanted for her, what silhouettes would be flattering, etc. Because even if (or especially if) it’s custom made, if the end product looks like ass (like this one), it does a disservice to everyone involved in the process.

  • Danielle


  • Janet B

    I don’t even remember the Jennifer Lawrence or Lily Rabe dresses.

  • MilaXX

    Go home, Paz Vega. You’re drunk.
    You could say that about pretty much all of these looks, but for me Lena’s takes the cake because she matched her eye make up to a poorly designed dress. KStew is running a close second for wearing her Twilight makeup out in public.

    • demidaemon

      All I can remember is George what’s his last name from Fashion Police doing a spot-on impersonation of Lena Dunham in a near carbon copy of this dress (which either shows you how easy it is to make and/or acquire) with that exact make-up for the Fashion Police Halloween episode. Scary on a whole other level.

  • JenniferA

    I love how right now there is a photo of Ryan Gosling in one of those side-bar ads and it is looks like he is giving Lena Dunham the serious side-eye for that monstrosity.

  • StellaZafella

    Lily Rabe and Paz Vega attended the same toga party for “The Real Housewives of Pompei”…and were asked to leave.

    • kimmeister

      Well, if one made it out of Pompeii, one would be very fortunate!

  • Kent Roby

    If I was designing the worst possible dress that I could imagine, it would probably end up looking like the dress Paz is wearing, with the addition of an oversized tit bow and a contrasting exposed zipper. Hiddy. I’m certain that Stephane Rolland designed this dress as a cruel joke to see who he could convince to wear it.

  • Sally Spannagle

    I think Kristin’s jumpsuit would have been rather smashing if it wasn’t for the giant vulva…

  • decormaven

    Good times! That Prada look by Ms. Lena always gives me a sad- if it had been correctly fitted- and perhaps on someone else- it could sing.

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      When a celeb gets the opportunity for a custom look and this is the result it is sad-the bodice isn’t fitted properly, and she looks as if she’s wearing a floral tent on the bottom. It’s such a missed opportunity.

      • decormaven

        So true!

    • formerlyAnon

      It makes me really wonder about the process of having a “custom” Prada dress. Because that may be a custom dress, but it sure doesn’t look like it was custom for Ms. Dunham. This manages to make Ms Dunham look bad and Prada look, maybe, worse?

  • Imasewsure

    OOOHH I missed that “lovely” Paz Vega ensemble the first time around… the rest, sadly, I did not. Awesomely awful one and all

  • I would love to see Jennifer Lawrence cover “The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia”. Because I am a horrible person.

    • formerlyAnon

      Explain to me the horrible in this idea? The word “genius” comes to mind, followed, a step behind, by its good friend “twisted” . . .

  • Munchkn

    That Vionnet gown is an insult to the Vionnet name.

    • formerlyAnon

      I agree. I think as a gown it’s the worst one here, though there are others which look worse on their wearers.

  • Jacob Bowen

    Paz Vega looks like she took a show girl fan and made a skirt out of it. It is my FAVORITE outfit of the year, only because it makes me laugh uncontrollably.

    • boweryboy

      For me it looks like she was pulling down her dress on her way to the john and stopped for a second to pose for a picture.

      • alyce1213

        That’s exactly what I think.

  • Sunraya

    Hilarious!!! Love the Kristen Stewart comment and the 80s one!!!
    You gentlemen have a great New Years!!!

  • boweryboy

    I’m more upset that Prada would custom make such an ugly and ill fitting dress than I am that Lena wore it.

    I know money talks but at what point as a designer do they just say: “Nuh uh. No way. I’m not making this for you?” I mean, afterall it’s their design that’s ultimately a reflection on them.

    • marlie

      I also wish Lena could have said “nope, no way am I wearing this.”

      • boweryboy

        Nah … Lena was probably saying, “Make it uglier! Make it frumpier! Also, make it not fit me. It’s ironic.”

  • formerlyAnon

    Ohhh, pobrecitas!

    If Ms. Dunham didn’t hold a gun to the head of whomever at Prada was responsible while issuing explicit instructions, that person should have been shamed, humiliated and possibly fired.

    And, really, even if she did wield a gun. They could have torched the delivery van. Set a localized structure fire. Had someone shot by a “disgruntled employee” so as to strategically bleed all over that thing at the last minute. See? There were OPTIONS! Instead, you put the house name to this! And WHY, EXACTLY, would anyone ever commission a custom gown from Prada ever again after seeing this?

    • demidaemon

      Hahahahahahahaha! I love your improvisational, intrepid, and inspired solutions to that hideous design’s existence!

  • SugarSnap108

    I will be chased by that giant vulva in my nightmares.

    My thought process as I scrolled down the Paz Vega one: “Eh, it’s not that ba-aahhhhhhhhJesusChristWhat?” Horrifying.

    Excellent choices, gentlemen.

  • SewingSiren

    All horrid, except Lena Dunham.which is mildly entertaining.

  • halleygee

    OMG Paz Vega, WTF? I missed that one this year. I can’t imagine there are worse that that!

  • rondele

    K Stew, what do you expect–it’s Stella McCartney. Of course, she did not have to wear it. It’s too bad, I think the color is pretty good on her, although even that is hard to judge with that background.

  • Anathema_Device

    I clearly haven’t been keeping up with my TLo b/c I missed a few of these horror shows earlier this year. The Paz dress made me laugh out loud!

  • Susan Velazquez

    I know Lena Dunham was going to be on this list but I thought you would have picked that yellow FMO only dress that paired with the ugly black boots.

  • veleri

    Jennifer Lawrence in Valentino Couture – totally ice skating.

  • ashtangajunkie

    Nice choices. I was wondering which of Lena Dunham’s looks would make this list and I’m not disappointed in the least. I hate to see Paz Vega on here because I find her so lovely, but that dress was hilariously bad. Bless.

  • NYCGlamourpuss

    Paz Vega’s dress looks like a two piece outfit where the skirt fell down.

  • marlie

    Lena Dunham’s dress actually makes me angry. CUSTOM. PRADA.

    • Tracy_Flick

      Right there with you. I actually LOVE the fabric. Love. And I like the way it’s set off with the black edging. But the cut is just so insanely unflattering. I don’t know if it would even be possible to come up with a worse cut for that sort of princess-y silhouette. It’s like someone at Prada secretly hates her.

  • PeaceBang

    I loved that look on Jennifer Lawrence because it was exactly what my 1986 self would have been dying to wear for a night out dancing. Nostalgia is a powerfully immoralizing fashion force.

  • guest2visits

    Jennifer wore some of the most beautiful gowns as well as some painfully tacky couture flops. I felt she was robbed every time they gave her a bad look.

  • yllas

    Lena Dunham’s green with orange flowers might possibly be a hommage to one of the world’s most annoying comic strips, “The Dinette Set” by Julie Larson. One of the most annoying comic strip characters ever rendered wears a big green blouse with orange flowers much of the time.

  • andreawey

    UGGH! My Eyes!!!!