Justin Bieber in Balmain at the “Believe” Premiere

Posted on December 20, 2013

The longer he’s in the public eye, the more we feel sorry for Justin. No, really.

Justin Bieber attends the premiere of “Justin Bieber’s Believe” at the Regal Cinemas L.A. Live in Los Angeles, California in a Balmain red blazer paired with Balmain biker jeans and Del Toro loafers.

He’s an overprivileged marginally talented brat, for sure. Obviously, we’re not defending any of that. But practically every time he opens his mouth to speak he reveals just how dumb and undereducated he is. We’re not being mean here. He’s actually painful to watch in a lot of interviews because he has no idea the level of his own ignorance. We’ve had to do a lot of thinking about the celebrity machine and lifecycle while writing and now promoting our book, and everything we know about explosive child fame combined with a lack of formal education tells us that this kid’s in for some rough times ahead. Sure, if he’s lucky and has smart people around him, he’ll be set into his old age financially, but he’s going to wake up one day and realize he’s completely bereft of life or interpersonal skills.

We know: boo-hoo. He can cry himself to sleep on his mink-lined bags of money. Or he can stop being such a little dick now. What can we say? Our hearts are full of love, darlings.

Anyway, the outfit. Answering the never-asked question, “What if Santa Claus was an asshole?” Still, it works for us. Yes it’s pure baby-douche, helped along generously by the shades, the posing, the perpetually affected raised-eyebrow expression (these kids are all gonna start botoxing before they’re 25 ), and the utterly ridiculous jewelry, but isn’t he just playing the part? It’s venue-appropriate, holiday-appropriate, and Justin-appropriate. It’s not high style but it gets the job done.







[Photo Credit: INFphoto.com]

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  • Diego!

    Oh please! Honey, you’re trying so desperately. Go with Miley and get into rehab both of you. You both are pathetic. Best regards!

    • 3boysful

      He’s giving me a George Michael vibe. But not in a good way.

      • LuisaNL

        ok, you need to take that back. sacrilege!

      • lillyvonschtupp

        I thought the same thing.

    • MK03

      He can’t become irrelevant fast enough for me.

      • NOLA_gal

        No kidding. Even my 10 year old is over him!

      • Vtg Fashion Library

        I thought he WAS irrelevant.

    • Audra Hammer Ross

      I thought Corey Haim.

  • Latin Buddy

    This guy makes me respect Miley Cyrus. Damn. How did that happen?

    • Diego!

      I can’t stand either of them

  • Emily Giovanni

    so you saying he suffers from….. AFFLUENZA?

    • ana170

      He doesn’t suffer from Affluenza. His quick success has gone to his head and he’s started believing his own hype. He hasn’t been spoiled and pampered his whole life.

  • sockandaphone

    Had to stop reading and laugh for five mins at “what if Santa Claus was an asshole?” Thank you for that Tlo

    • fursa_saida

      My mind went straight to Stefon from SNL. “New York’s douchiest outfit is BIEBER. Answering the question, “What if Santa Claus was an asshole?” This getup has everything. A scary babystache, too many chains, a dropped crotch…”

      • I didn’t think it was possible to improve on perfection, but you did it. My hat off to you.

  • barbarienne

    Are his shoes glowing? Did he walk through nuclear waste on the way here?

    • I thought they helped him float in from the north pole, with that Santa suit he’s wearing.

    • Cheryl

      Barbarienne asked; “Did he walk through nuclear waste on the way here?” Lets hope so!

    • JulieTy

      My first thought when I saw the chains was “Isaac Hayes circa 1971,” and when I saw the shoes, “Old Man in Florida.”

    • AmeliaEve

      Maybe it’s that Loafer Lightener.

  • alyce1213

    Look what little wiener made it to Sausage Friday! Still needs a good slap upside his head (virtual, of course.)

  • hughman

    I didn’t know Ellen Degeneres had tattoos. Huh.

    • DebbieLovesShoes

      Hahaha. You got me to laugh once again with your post, Hughman.

  • deathandthestrawberry

    I kind of like his shoes. There, I hit my nice quota for the day.

    I do sort of pity him. My 13-year-old daughter is a Direction-er. Bieber’s career is toast.

    • Evan

      Thank God! I didn’t like One Direction at first because I’m not into tween music, but they actually seem kind of nice, well-adjusted and tolerable. I put in my own post that I don’t understand why Justin Bieber has any fans left and that he actually makes me appreciate One Direction.

      • deathandthestrawberry

        I think it helped that the members of One Direction were older when they came into fame. I don’t know their whole story (I’m sure my daughter can fill me in!), but when they first hit it big on X Factor they were in their late teens, and all the guys are in their 20s now. I think Bieber has been performing since he was 12 or 13.

        • Evan

          Yeah. That’s probably it. I know that they’re a manufactured group in that they were put together on X Factor, but it probably helped that they were able to go through most of adolescence living normal lives, whereas Bieber went through adolescence in the spotlight like all of those Disney kids who we know turned out really well.

          • That’s the thing – they were young adults when they auditioned, so they must have had some sort of clue what they were signing on for. Bieber didn’t get that choice.

    • cocohall

      You wonder if he read the Joe Jonas story in New York magazine. Kinda like a Christmas Carol with the Ghost from Pop Star past coming to visit. I feel sorry for him as well. Kids the age he was when he catapulted to fame can barely handle getting to bed on time and cleaning their rooms. Expecting them to work like a mule (no matter how pretty the cart is they are pulling) and being camera ready/interview ready 24/7 is going to have consequences. Besides excessive tattoos and bad fashion.

  • Jessica Freeman

    Elf on the Shelf – Douche Model.

    • Love this comment, epic win! 😉

  • Anathema_Device

    Yes, the raised eyebrows. What the hell is that about? I hope that habit along with Miley’s wagging tongue are left behind in 2013.

    I brayed like a donkey when I read “What if Santa Claus was an asshole?”

    • Jessica Freeman

      Miley now claims the tongue wagging is because “She doesn’t know what to do when people take pictures of her”….that’s your answer??

      • Anathema_Device

        My answer is that she is full of shit. How many years prior to 2013 did she have her picture taken as a Disney star? Disney kept a tight rein on that tongue. Now it’s useless, like closing the barn door once the tongue’s escaped.

        • alyce1213

          And it doesn’t explain all the tongue-wagging while performing.

      • demidaemon

        I saw tape of that answer as well. My response: “Really? That’s the tripe you are intending to sell?”

    • Glam Dixie

      That’s the patented “Look at me, I’m a douche” brow.

    • alyce1213

      That child of Will Smith does a similar thing when he’s trying to look cool.
      It may be the male version of duck lips.

      • Sobaika

        I think that’s just his face. Jaden Smith: Perpetual Bright Light In My Face.

    • muzan-e

      Gangsta/Guido hybrid, as interpreted by the confused suburban male.

    • Jaden Smith is in charge of the raised eyebrows. You want that stopped, go talk to him.

    • H2olovngrl

      What the hell with that skeazy looking “moustache”, too? Yikes!

    • CT14

      It’s Jaden Smith’s signature move. There’s even a Tumblr about “what’s Jaden worried about?”

  • YoungSally

    Uncle Elton wants his suit back.

    And I so hope the TMZ rumors that he is “retiring” from music are true….although that might actually leave him time to do more stupid bonehead stuff.

    • Stuff that Darwins him away maybe.

    • UsedtobeEP

      Retiring to do what, exactly? Join the Peace Corp? Lead Outward Bound? I would love to see him do something meaningful but not holding my breath.

    • Derek_anny

      I’m glad I’m not the only one who saw that. While scrolling down the main page, I thought it was Elton at first.

  • Katie

    Bahaha, that “mustache”!

    • tereliz

      Hey there, little fella, you need to wipe your mouth after you finish your chocolate milk.

    • MarTeaNi

      It’s the Religious Man’s Mustache. 10 hairs and prayer.

  • sojourneryouth

    Vanilla Sheisse.

  • Rand Ortega

    I like the last photo. Meta God is letting him know his 15 minutes are up.

    • ankali

      The progression of these photos is hilarious. “Heyyyy, here I am! I am ON THE LIST, ladies, yup… no, wait, I am. Bieber. JUSTIN BIEBER. Look again, it’s Canadian, what are you — PLEASE I’M ON THE LIST PLEASE — yeah, OK, I, uh, I have other places to be anywa — WATCH THE SHOULDER PAD, DUDE.

  • You know the meme of the flat-faced cat in girl’s sunglasses? That.

    I do appreciate your thoughts on this child, but I’m afraid I don’t see “if he’s lucky and has smart people around him” happening. There has been no sign so far that he has anyone with his best interests in mind around him.

    • ryenerman

      I agree. Part of me realizes he is an insufferable ass, but the mom part of me actually feels badly for him. He’s been chewed up by the machine and will be spit out in due course. Child stars in that situation have made me feel mostly just sad ever since having kids.

      • formerlyAnon

        ^^This, exactly.

    • nowlo

      Agreed. Did anyone here see the pictures of him sneaking out of a brothel? He’s a kid, but he’s behaving like a middle aged divorcee.

      The people around him might be smart at making him money, but they are not behaving with his best interests at heart.

    • conniemd

      Kind of an oxymoron. People who are around him have only one interest: money. His agents only care that he makes money, since they get a percentage of it. The rest of the people around him are just hangers on hoping that some crumbs fall their way. Not unique to Bieber, it simply is the way the world is. Bieber is way too young to understand that “friends” are just using him.

  • lrober03

    What a sad little mustache

    • jilly_d

      As Chris Traeger would say, “I was LIT’RALLY….about to type that exact thing.”

    • Just Me

      There was a mustache? *scrolls back up* Shyt, I thought that was a shadow or some dirt on his face. Look at little PeeWee tryna be a man…sit your ass down.

  • RohanMBN

    I adore you two. This might be my first post, but I have been following this blog for awhile now. It is the only fashion blog I follow on a day to day basis. This post is just one example of why I love it so much. Giving us truth with hysterical wit. Just thought I would finally give you some love!

    • Evan

      Welcome to commenting! I only started a few months ago.

      • RohanMBN

        Thank you!

    • Dive in! I’m serving drinks.

      • RohanMBN

        Pina Colada? There isn’t a place in this damn city to get one!

        • alyce1213

          Welcome! I keep a can of Coco Lopez on hand, just in case I crave. Making Pinas at home is not quite the same as knocking them back on a tropical beach, but evokes the memory.

      • Mismarker

        Is it still prosecco? It’s 1:15 here. Respectable time to start drinking on a Friday, I think.

        • Onto riesling now – it’s 19.30 GMT!

        • sockandaphone

          as long as its after noon!

        • Denise Alden

          Hell, it’s Christmas! The respectable time is here! I have a bottle of Bailey’s on hand at all times. Of course, I run the joint, so . . .

          • muzan-e

            Amen. It’s not Christmas without Bailey’s, and this year I intend to convince my Southern relatives of the fact by offering generous samples.

    • mjude

      champagne is always served darling……

    • Welcome!

    • muzan-e

      Welcome on in! I don’t know much about fashion, and I don’t follow celebrities… but damned if this isn’t my first read of the day, and one of the friendliest spots in town to boot. *g*

  • Evan

    Can someone explain to me how he still has any fans? If I were a parent, I wouldn’t let my kid listen to his music because first, it’s not that good and second, I consider him the most obnoxious and arrogant music “artist” out right now (And this includes Miley Cyrus and Kanye West, who actually have some decent music in their discography). He even makes me appreciate One Direction.

  • annabelle archer

    Die fucker.

    • alyce1213

      That’s what I really wanted to say, but I just gave him a virtual slap instead. I also want to pluck out each mustache hair one at a time.

      • tereliz

        Well, that will only take like sixteen plucks. What do you want to do to kill the rest of the afternoon?

      • annabelle archer

        Well, I was looking while stuck in traffic. I had to be fast. But really, what more could one say?

      • kmk05

        It would take you less than a minute. Utterly unsatisfying,except if you do it with a laser and watch him squirm.

    • Mismarker

      Is it cold comfort to know that someday, perhaps not today, he will?

      • annabelle archer

        Patience is not a virtue of mine.

        All kidding aside, I wish him no real ill will, I just want him to go away.

    • filmcricket

      That’s “The fucker” in German, right?

    • LuisaNL

      short and sweet. I like it.

    • demidaemon

      So concise. J’adore!

  • Ashleigh

    I am ALL ABOUT the shoes, especially with men, and these shoes ruin everything for me.

  • Malibufire

    Celestial levels of douchebaggery. Thanks for the morning laugh.

  • rkdgal

    “What if Santa Claus was an asshole.” GENIUS and spot on! Hubs and I are still chuckling over that one.

  • Andrew Schroeder

    I have the same mustache right now but it’s because I’m too lazy to shave, not because I actually think it looks good.

    • Me too.

    • Mismarker

      I’ve got that mustache, too. Only because I’m too lazy to wax.

      • Jacqueline Wessel

        I think I have a mustache like that, but I wax regularly so it’s been a really long time since I’ve seen it and I can’t be sure.

  • NMMagpie

    I am getting nothing but a Star80 vibe. :::shudder:::

  • Frank_821

    There is something rather sad about the outfit. It’s a look but it feels so artificial, like someone was going 10 miles out of their way to have him project this image of uber-fly doucheboy. just too silly

    • shirab

      I read a description of this outfit on a gossip site, People maybe?, and his stylist (he has one!) was quoted as saying they were going for a Frank Sinatra/Rat Pack vibe. I ask you.

      • filmcricket

        Maybe, MAYBE Sammy at his most gaudy. But even to mention the great SDJ and this little dweeb in the same sentence is a punishable offence, so I will now go flog myself.

        • formerlyAnon

          It’s almost the holiday week-ish. Give yourself a pass. Have a glass of wine. Or an extra one later if you, like I, are still locked into the semblance of productive activity.

      • alyce1213

        Aaah Sammy! Sammy loved his bling, A LOT of it, but as I recall he generally wore expensive, but not too flashy suits.
        Except in the 70s, when he was Groovy.
        (I meant this as a reply to filmcricket, put it in the wrong place)

        • Sammy may have worn some gaudy things, but his personality was Classy all the way.

          • formerlyAnon

            All I have to go by is how he treated the stage crew at his casino shows in his later years. And it was class all the way.

        • filmcricket

          Yes, I was thinking of his number in “Sweet Charity” although granted that was a costume and not something he’d necessarily have chosen to wear himself.

      • Right. Can’t you just see Frank Sinatra in this red get-up? The stylist is as out of touch with the real world as his client is

      • marlie

        When I think “Rat Pack,” I think incredibly polished and tailored. This look is neither of those things.

  • Cheryl

    The pants are horrific. The jewellery gross. The shoes disgusting (especially the no socks), seriously if the shoes are borrowed that is so nasty. The shirt and jacket would be okay on an actual human being.

  • Mismarker

    He needs to re-hire a swagger coach and shave that tiny, sad mustache. That hand in the bottom picture, the one that appears to be shoving him off the red carpet? Dude, whoever you are, you’ve got the right idea.

  • the.littlest.raspberry

    I’m glad he decided to wear his magic shoes.

  • mmebam

    I actually think the outfit is kind of cute.

  • Erica_Vuitton

    I will admit that “As Long As You Love Me” was a catchy track but I just can’t with this one. He reminds me of Aaron Carter. Super popular as a kid but couldn’t hold on to his audience as he/they aged. Justin Timberlake he will never be.

    • demidaemon

      True. It’s on one of the Just Dance games I have and is weirdly fun to dance to.

    • kimmeister

      Hunh, isn’t that also the title of a backstreet boys song?

  • Griffinqueen


  • BayTampaBay

    He reminds me on a mini-me young Vanilla Ice! How sad.

    • histrogeek

      That was my thought too. Ice, ice baby has a spit in hell waiting for him for showing all the preening white doucheboys how to “dress street.”

  • Qitkat

    I feel sorry for his fans. Obviously he’s no role model, nor wants to be, but I saw on ET how he blew off a massive number of kids waiting, some for 12 hours, for this premiere outside the theater, sobbing and wailing for him to come back. He couldn’t even give them 5 minutes of photography and waving?? Obnoxious and over-entitled. And yes, TLo are right about everything they said about him.

    • demidaemon

      Not only that, he blew off all of the media waiting there to interview him so he could publicize his stupid movie. Not only an asshole to his fans, but super dumb about his career and promotion as well.

  • SugarSnap108

    “What if Santa Claus was an asshole?” may now be my favorite line from 2013.

    Sadly, this kid gives me a Corey Haim in the late ’80s vibe. I sincerely hope his life doesn’t take that turn.

    • tereliz

      Who would have ever guessed that Feldman would be the last Corey standing?

  • MGMcD

    Oh good lord Bieber, how long did your people spend getting your hair to do that and you can’t even get some one to wipe that dirt off your upper lip?

  • Sam Smith

    He’s the male Miley. I like the outfit though.

  • Anna_Cecilia

    Yes, Justin you are a “Baby,” and the people surrounding you need to say, “No,” to you more often.

  • Beardslee

    He and Miley Cyrus are characters in the same cautionary tale. Lots of money, lots of attention, sketchy education, and a life that celebrates style over substance. They way they grew up certainly hasn’t brought out the best in them. They’re the dislikeable rich kids.

  • mjude

    I think I was desperate when I read that this suit was Sinatra inspired. that pissed me off.

    • The stylist meant “Santa!” I mean, I get those two mixed up ALL the time!

  • Lilak


  • Madam Von Sassypants


  • Carleenml

    It’s the hollywood equivalent of a puppy mill. They just keep churning them out.

  • Cate

    Oh lord, those douchey poses. I can’t.

  • sagecreek

    You are so right, Unks. And the fact is that he won’t manage his money well, or his handlers will steal it, and in ten years he’ll be scraping by in Branson. It’s horrible to watch.

    • demidaemon

      Chelsea Handler has a skit on her show about how the Biebs and Selena will one day be on a crappy reality show together about their problems. IT IS TO DIE FOR!

  • IMNAngryLiberal

    “practically every time he opens his mouth to speak he reveals just how dumb and undereducated he is”. Yes, that is exactly what I’ve always thought about Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, et. al. …. at least the under educated part … and they must be either dumb or totally clueless not to realize how very, very uneducated they are.

  • jw_ny

    wait a sec…this is supposed to be SAUSAGE Friday…not WEENIE Friday 😉

    • Miss wks

      it’s Vienna sausage Friday…

  • Miss wks

    poor thing. He hasn’t a clue.

    • Kathy

      Bless his heart.

  • Ugh, that My First Mustache needs to GO!

    • bellafigura1

      I mean, wow, why would he feature that? It’s so pre-pubescent and pathetic.

      • John Waters needs to draw that pencil ‘stache on his face again. It’s the only way.

  • Ben Perry

    It screams middle aged gay man who is constantly obsessed with youth. Too much gold, too much red, just too much.

  • Miss wks

    (OT sort of) DUDEs! I just pre-ordered your book and found out you are being published by Penguin Books. That is awesome. This book MUST be good cuz they don’t publish just any ol` shit. I love Penguin Classics. Wow, I am so proud of yous. Can’t wait to read it. Merry Christmas, biotches!

  • fnarf

    My favorite Bieber Massengill Moment is his idiotic “Roman numeral” tattoo that’s done wrong (it shows the year 1975 as “I IX VII V” instead of “MCMLXXV”), though his recent appearance on stage a couple of days ago where he stated “I f*** bitches” is a new contender. I tried, Lord knows I tried, to give this nozzle the benefit of the doubt, he’s young, he doesn’t know, but no more. He knows. He’s bad news. And his career is over, now that his 11-year-old fans are 13 and too old for him. I predict heroin by 2016. Lief Garrett redux, minus the looks and talent (such as it was).

  • Matthew Davie

    God, he’s such a douche-nozzle. I can’t. I just can’t.

  • KinoEye

    Sigh. That kinda douche is a stink that just doesn’t wash off. Ew.

  • LindsayGoon

    The douchebaggery is strong with this one.

  • MK03

    That is an eminently punchable face.

    • Aidan B

      That may be the best description of his looks that I’ve yet encountered. Well done.

  • formerlyAnon

    Hmm. A serving of beautifully plated off-brand vegan soysage in an unpopular flavor (sage-apple-maple, maybe?).

    But nicely plated, I think he’s well dressed.

  • Glam Dixie

    “he’s going to wake up one day and realize he’s completely bereft of life or interpersonal skills.” – No he won’t. He’ll never figure it out. He’ll just keep telling Ryan Seacrest that the people saying bad things about him are BULLIES, man. What if Santa Claus was an asshole, haha I love it. I think he’s graduated from baby douche, he’s a full on life size douche now.

    • alyce1213

      Right. I see no self-awareness in his future.

    • MilaXX

      While his grandparents & mother make lame excuses for him.

  • Lori

    Sure, if he’s lucky and has smart people around him, he’ll be set into his old age financially

    If he had smart people around him we wouldn’t all know what a dimwitted, undereducated douche canoe he is. He doesn’t, we do and I’ve got ten bucks that says he’ll file for bankruptcy before he’s 30.

  • TinaBelchersawkwardmoan

    Whatever is going on with the mustache that appears to be dripping from his nostrils needs to stop immediately.

  • ovarB

    Forget baby-douche. He has created a new species of douche…Bieber-douche. Oh and for goodness sakes….get that pubescent hair growth off your face!!

  • ConnieBV

    Just shave. You’re not fooling anyone with that thing.

  • ashtangajunkie

    This poor kid. Despite all of his efforts, he’s pretty easy to ignore, actually. I don’t remember the last time I saw him before this.

  • deb

    Totally digging the pre-pubescent moustache (said no one, ever).

  • MilaXX

    The outfit is okay except for the white shoes. As for the rest, it’s just pathetic & that’s all I’m going to say.

  • snarkykitten

    If a lady pop star were to say all the dumb shit that’s rolled out his mouth or act so idiotic they’d get crucified.

  • boweryboy

    At least he’s actually wearing a pair of shoes instead of those ridiculous white sneakers he usually tucks his pants into.

  • Tracy_Flick

    At least the crotch of the pants isn’t around his knees. That’s the best possible spin I can put on this.

  • Milos Mom

    Phew. I saw these images and my eyes almost rolled out my head. I thought you might let him slide but thankfully…

  • sunflower

    I agree with everything said, but I do think that the outfit is pretty on point (shoes need to be switched though)

  • LuisaNL

    “what if santa was an asshole?” it’s too much!!

  • LeelaST

    The puddling pants are kinda pathetic, otherwise amazingly stylish considering. The baby porn-stache is tragique.

  • When does he try to switch to heavy metal and begin assaulting mannequins with baseball bats? I look forward to hearing him sing “Baby” at a minor-league Canadian hockey team’s halftime show in twenty years.

  • Dibs

    For a minute I thought I was on Rich Kids of Instagram.

  • I love that last pic with the hand coming out the side.
    “No, no. You go over there, away from me, Justin. Poser section is that way.”

  • Trickytrisha

    Pathetic excuse for a mustache on a pathetic excuse for a human being.

  • demidaemon

    I think I have never read such a succinct, well said analysis of the Bieber’s personality and issues. Well done, TLo. You could be therapists to the stars!

    I actually kind of like the outfit. The head styling is pure douche, though, and he should really be thinking about doing a facial makeover in the near future, if he wants to salvage and continue his fame.

  • Josefina Madariaga Suárez

    God, those awful whiskers.
    And he’s reaching Kanye West’s levels of douchery.

    • Sly

      I respect Kanye 20 times over more than I will ever respect this boy.

      • Josefina Madariaga Suárez

        I don’t. An asshole is an asshole, and there’s nothing that can mitigate that.

  • lillyvonschtupp

    Two words: Leif Garrett

  • Nonnah

    I like his shoes. At least the crotch isn’t between his knees and he’s not wearing big ass high tops.

  • rebeemoon

    Miley, I have to say, is actually pretty smart, and strategic about what she’s doing, whatever one may think of the latter. She’s also self-aware, and game for making fun of herself. And genuinely talented. So, not in Beiber’s category.

  • dancho

    Yuck. Chewed fingernails on the verge of clubbing. Probably too much smoking?

  • TigerLaverada

    Poor lil feller.

  • Angie

    I’m getting Elf on the Shelf vibes here… And that little doll creeps the ever loving everything out of me.

  • marlie

    I can’t even think about what he’s wearing because I’m struggling with resisting the urge to punch someone.

  • lifeisastory

    This kid is such a tool.

  • Bootsy

    What are those, built-in knee pads? 5150-wear.

  • elzatelzabelz

    Oh God, “What if Santa Claus was an asshole?” Perfect. That’s the perfect description. I just want him to go away.

  • mrspotts66

    i thought he *was* miley.
    if he didn’t give off such a douchey vibe, i’d say i like the look.
    hem the pants and i’d like it more.

  • PeaceBang

    It’s been such a long day and I SO needed TLo’s patented brand of bitchy love. Thank you, boys. You said it all so perfectly. (I’d kill for his hair color, though)

  • MarTeaNi

    Ah yes. The Religious Man’s Mustache. 10 hairs and prayer.

  • lifeisastory

    Justin Bieber makes me wish that God was realer, that God walked among us in the flesh, and that He would tap Justin Bieber on the shoulder, point out the error of his ways, and then snap His fingers and take way every bit of money and fame this little snot has ever enjoyed.
    (See also: Kris Jenner and all of her female offspring)

  • cocohall

    My son is the same age as Bieber. With the benefit of excellent public schools and now in his second year at a liberal arts college, he is a great kid, but still immature on occasion, sometimes self aware, sometimes not, and in general, a work in progress. I CANNOT FATHOM how messed up he would be if he had had the life Bieber has. In some ways, I’m surprised Bieber hasn’t completely imploded already. Still, my son and his friends would not be caught dead in anything Bieber is wearing (including that silly mustache). And especially the tasseled loafers. How can Bieber want so badly to be cool and go out in public like this?

    • Gatto Nero

      Because he is deluded into thinking that he defines “cool.”

  • kara

    Yeah and the girl he made a public spectical of by calling her a beached whale commited suicide so sorry if I can’t feel bad for this little asshole in the slightest.

    • No she didn’t. You got suckered by a satirical news story.

  • yllas

    I’m sorry, but I liked the red and white outfit. I find most mens clothes boring and have difficulty telling a ‘yea’ from ‘nay’. Gaudy, expensive red suit and gorgeous white shirt? Love it!…. Agree with everything else, though. That mustache is annoying, isn’t it?

  • Imasewsure

    Ellen would look awesome in that outfit. Hate the shoes but then again, they aren’t giant tennis shoes so there’s that

  • Daktari100

    He looks his best here, as he always does when sporting the lesbian chic look. The silly peach fuzz on his upper lip is another matter.

  • NinjaCate

    The mustache! WHY?!?! He’s transforming into a douchecanoe right before our eyes!

  • Gatto Nero

    The clock is ticking on his moment in the sun.
    And the pants need serious hemming.

  • ShaoLinKitten

    I would like to pull his gross little crustache out with a tweezer.

  • gsk241

    I’ve thought the same thing about the Child Star Machine. Drew Barrymore for instance has about an 8th grade education because her parents thought it would be cool to take her out clubbing with them. And it shows.

    • Sunraya

      I know you were downgraded, but I agree. I really like Drew Barrymore. I think she has a great spirit. However, this is a person who has struggled with addition publicly, and she is regularly seen out, drinking beer, and has talked about that. Not smart. I think the lack of a formal education shows in so many ways: bad decisions, stupid statements and just all around ignorance. Sadly, our society now mocks those with intelligence, or at least one political party does. This does not bode well for any of us. Can you tell I am a teacher?

  • Danielle

    I feel like he will be releasing an album called African Child soon.

  • “What if Santa Claus was an asshole?” is going to crack me up for the rest of the week. Bless you.

  • CT14

    Socks. He should wear socks..

    And rethink the jewelry.

  • janegray

    Dear God, he is turning into Vanilla Ice right before our eyes.

  • lrhoff

    Spot on. The kid needs mentoring — big time!!

  • linabelle, age 6, says”i like his suit but his hair is weird. i like him anyway.”

  • When I was a kid, I became a Beatles fanatic – years after they broke up. My friend Joanne was into the Bay City Rollers. She’d go to concerts and freak out to the point of getting on stage, vomiting at the feet of her favorite Roller, and then escorted out by police. We’d have arguments on who was the better band – The Beatles or the Bay City Rollers. We were about 11 years old. A few years pass, and the Bay City Rollers are done. She woke up and realized she did some dumb stuff for nobodies. So, I can’t wait for the tweens to grow up and stop making this dumbass famous. And I’d love them to see a red carpet look like this – with his stupid face and dumb sarcastic posing and go..”WTF was I thinking?”.

  • guest2visits

    I’ve never seen such lifeless, apathetic eyes on some one so young. And that was 3 years ago.

  • lIllllllllol

    No mention of the wispy girlish moustache? Was the target too easy?

  • andreawey

    “What if Santa Claus was an asshole?” maybe my favorite line ever…..