Jewel in Jovani at the 2013 American Country Awards

Posted on December 11, 2013

It says something about the poor state of red carpetry at the moment that we almost started this post off “Ladystars? Look at what Jewel is doing.”

But in a December where practically every gal with a fanbase seemed determined to dress like it’s May, we feel the need to point to Jewel and say “See? You wanna show off the goods in December? Fine. Here’s how.”


Jewel attends the 2013 American Country Awards at the Mandalay Bay Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada in a Jovani dress paired with Rupert Sanderson heels and Jacob & Co. jewelry.

No, she’s not even close to setting our style world on fire, and frankly, she looks like she’s freezing, but she looks totally season-appropriate, and she even wore the metallic shoes which makes us absurdly happy because it seems like we’ve said “We would’ve recommended metallic shoes” about 300 hundred times in the last couple of weeks. So attagirl, girl. A little sparkle and a little sex. Maybe it’s not magazine-cover chic, but there ain’t nothing wrong with that.

Look at us! Going country! We get infected by our red carpet coverage, darlings. After the Latin Grammys, we tend to erupt into Spanish intermittently. After the Teen Choice Awards, we get all moody and slam doors a lot. When they have all those end-of-the-year “Powerful Women in Entertainment’-style luncheons, we just want to grab a clutch and a pencil skirt and stand like we’re empowering young women everywhere

You don’t want to see us after the BET Awards. It’s embarrassing to white people.






[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans, PRN/, FPA/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES]

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  • This… is not what I expect from Jewel. Didn’t she sleep in her car?

    • PastryGoddess

      Yeah…before she became famous. She’s living in Texas now I think

      • Lori

        Yup. She’s married to Ty Murray. I’ve seen pictures of the ranch the PBR built and let’s just say she’s no longer living in her car. And good for her.

        • PastryGoddess

          I saw PBR and immediately thought Pabst Blue Ribbon

          • Lori

            LOL. Do they even drink that in Texas?

          • KinoEye

            Oh, they do. Most of them hipsters, but the PBR is strong in these parts. Not my favorite by a long shot though.

          • Lori

            Man, I am so out of it. I thought it was all Shiner Bock in Texas.

          • KinoEye

            Shiner is the king of beers in Texas, to be sure. SB, and all its variations, are my favorite 🙂 But I think PBR’s main appeal is that it’s cheap. And boy, does it ever taste like it.

          • Lori

            Yeah. The allure of PBR totally escapes me. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to be drunk badly enough to drink enough of that swill to accomplish the task.

          • ecallaw1977

            What else does it mean???

          • PastryGoddess

            Professional Bull Rider

    • H2olovngrl

      Have you seen the show with her family in Alaska? Alaska: The Last Frontier? It is my new addiction. What an interesting life she must’ve had before fame.

      • Amazing – never imagine there was such a thing! I am not in the US so a lot of stuff passes me by.

  • PastryGoddess

    Jewel Hunty…squinty doesn’t mean sexy, it just means you can’t see. Shelob called, she wants her lashes back

    • 3boysful

      Interestingly, I do not think she still photographs as pretty as she is. She looks gorgeous on the Sing-Off show.

    • Ginger

      The squinty look made me think she looks like JLo (not a compliment in my book).

      • Sobaika

        There is only one Squinty and her name is Rene Zellweger.

  • Sam Smith

    Is it wrong that I like the fact that she still has her original teeth?

    • Mismarker

      Not at all.

    • gabbilevy

      She’s clearly proud of it. Last night on the Sing-Off: “… I’m looking forward to introducing my snaggletooth to America, girls with the crooked teeth ‘hollar.’”

      • Mismarker

        She said that?? Awesome!

      • Tatiana Luján

        I LOVE her as a judge.

        • MilaXX

          I like the whole low key aspect to the show. When the judges get excited it feels genuine instead of show boat-y.

      • zenobar


      • fursa_saida

        WAIT IT’S BACK ALREADY??? Oh, man, how did I miss the premiere? Excuse me while I go find myself an online stream. (Former a cappella kid here, I can’t restrain the enthusiasm.)

        • Tatiana Luján

          Yep, it’s back. The producers changed some aspects of the show, but it is as good as ever.

    • lexilexi

      But not her original boobs?

      • E2_Remote

        Jewel has always had a bodacious set of ta-ta’s – being a bit on the, ahem, delicate side in that department, I have long admired her rack.

    • Peeve

      I love it, too! It’s so refreshing after seeing star after star with perfect white teeth. I think it makes her cuter, actually. Don’t know why…

  • Mismarker

    She looks gorgeous and young for her age. Fergie, take notes. I have a new respect for Jewel after watching her family in their reality show. I’m sure lots of what is shown isn’t “real” but, still, I’m sure homesteading in Alaska ain’t no walk in the park.

  • kimmeister

    I’m impressed that she managed to have the “heaving bosom” look without it spilling over into the underarm area. This look does appear to put the spotlight on a titscrepancy though.

  • nannypoo

    I was expecting the dress to be long so I was a little disappointed when I scrolled down but it didn’t. It’s pretty, but I want it to be long.

  • Kimberly Page

    I will never understand why she has not straightened her teeth! Please. She is starting to look like a Kristin Wiig character.

    • Meg0GayGuys6

      My mom always says that about David Letterman. Personally, I like when they keep it the way it was when they were coming up, but different strokes 🙂

    • annabelle archer

      I fought my parents on braces, refused to do what the ortho advised. As a woman with a bit of crooked smile, herself, I say she’s just fine. Perfection is boring.

      • demidaemon

        Indeed. Plus you save everyone a boatload of money when it’s mostly a cosmetic procedure.

      • 3boysful

        Indeed. Jennifer Grey, anyone?

    • lifeisastory

      She looks great in the dress, but I do think the teeth should be fixed. I don’t see wonky teeth as any kind of asset.

      • Pennymac

        I think they are quirky and natural. Symmetry is over-rated.

        • H2olovngrl

          A thousand times, YES!!!

    • zenobar

      Funny, I thought she looked like a pretty lady with a distinctive smile.

      But I suppose I’m a bit defensive on her behalf since I and my people have a rich history of canine whackness.

  • Those shoes hurt me, even though they are far better than the white we’ve seen so much lately and generally I dig a metallic heel but with that dress?? Nevuh, bitches. And speaking of that dress…season appropriate perhaps but did Heidi Fleiss have a yard sale? Actually, for a minute there, I thought this was Mariah Carey.

  • Jacob Bowen

    Could she at least have gone with a longer hem? She makes me shiver with sympathy chills!

  • KinoEye

    “You don’t want to see us after the BET Awards. It’s embarrassing to white people.” That whole paragraph was magnificent, but that was really the icing on the cake. Love you two!

    • CakesOnAPlane

      That guffaw you heard coming from the general direction of Denver was me reading that paragraph.

      • Pennymac

        Snort laughed in Tennessee….

    • Jackie4g

      Yeah. Whatever that infectious condition may be, I wouldn’t mind a bout of it.

  • housefulofboys

    I would think, given Lo’s place of birth, that you would erupt into Portuguese?

  • Sarah

    The whole rib cage bustier aspect combined with the spillin-out boobage makes the dress look too small for her. Or at the very least super constricting. She can only stand like a robot, or Nips will Extrude.

  • MilaXX

    She looks fine. I wish this was a gown rather than one of Jen Aniston’s old shiny towels. I also dislike the shoe. Despite all that I think she looks okay, if a bit standard.

  • Trickytrisha

    I’m beside myself with joy that for 5 days a week I can read stuff like “After the Teen Choice Awards, we get all moody and slam doors a lot”, but by all that’s good and holy… those last two lines are EPIC.

  • Carleenml

    Say Yes to the Dress – Pnina Tornai. Put a train on that and paint it white and that’s all she wrote.

  • boweryboy

    LOL! I love you guys.

    I think mayhaps some of her gays are BKs because metallic shoe.

  • Everything you guys said in this post sums up why I love y’all.

  • Love you, mean it. And a nice personal best for Jewel, heaven help us all.

  • Monica

    oh, Gunkles!!! The last line killed me

  • StephiCakes

    I have been I coveting her hinged ring for YEARS. I just made an account just to ask if anyone knows anything about that ring.

  • llism

    I LOVE that she has not succumbed to the ominpresent Chiclet teeth. You go girl!

    • Pennymac

      I thought the same thing! Isn’t her smile endearing?

    • Daktari100

      Oops, that down vote was from me. It was an accident; I meant to up-vote your comment because I agree with you and give her credit for not trying to look like everyone else, the same way I applaud Streisand for keeping her original nose despite pressure to get it “fixed.” My mouse got stuck, and I pressed the mouse button while hovering over the wrong arrow. Sorry for the premature click!

  • webslice33

    very pretty even after all these years…love her in The Sing OFF

  • Daktari100

    Miss Jewel is looking good! Hey, the girl is from Homer, Alaska. It probably has to get mighty cold outside before she starts to feel chilly.