Sting at the 2013 LACMA Art + Film Gala

Posted on November 04, 2013

In tiny little thumbnails, we thought this looked good. Never judge a book by its cover and never judge a look by its thumbnails, darlings. Lesson of the Day.



Sting attends the LACMA 2013 Art + Film Gala honoring David Hockney and Martin Scorsese, held at LACMA in Los Angeles, California.

Because you blow the pictures up and suddenly you can smell the cigarettes and sweat. Jeez, this is disappointing, especially since he’s still got it going on. Clean him up (Is that shirt supposed to be that color or is it as filthy as we imagine?), pair it up correctly (because those pants don’t go with that jacket) and make sure everything fits well (because absolutely nothing here does) and he’d turn heads. As it is, he looks like someone who got fired that morning, passed out on the subway after a bender.





[Photo Credit: Jennifer Graylock/, Andrew Evans/]

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  • Lock stock & two smoking barrels redux. Is he reminding people he is available to hire?

  • RussellH88

    Stellan Skarsgård and Dean Norris had a baby and put it in a gross-ass suit.

  • “He’s not Stung. He’s not Stinging. He’s Sting!”

  • MsKitty

    Wow, does Sting look lit up or what? As someone who’s crushed on him for years this makes me very sad.

  • cakecakecake

    1. I commend him for not getting veneers.

    2. I can smell his whiskey tinged breath from here. Actually, I can smell that shirt from here. It’s neither white nor beige–so it’s dingy from days (months?) of sitting in his laundry basket after his last fancy event.
    3. His shirt sleeves are too long.
    4. Tighten up that shirt collar and button it.
    5. Redo Tie knot.
    6. Jacket is way too small.
    7. Hem those pants. Or actually, throw those pants away because they certainly don’t go with that jacket.

    There y’all go!

    • Heather

      Also, he needs a good moisturizer.

      • cakecakecake

        You’re so right, he desperately needed some sort of lotion or moisturizer!

      • decormaven

        A good facialist should be his new best friend.

        • Rhonda Shore

          you mean a good dermatologist.

          • cakecakecake

            And by good dermatologist we all know what you mean 😉

          • Rhonda Shore

            That’s not what I meant…he has a couple of red spots that concern me.

          • cakecakecake

            No you’re right, upon further review, I think I see them too!

    • alyce1213

      Re 3. Could be he didn’t even bother to button the cuffs of his nasty shirt, hence looking too big/long.

      • cakecakecake

        He’s really doing the most. And by most, I mean, really doing the absolute least!

    • YoungSally

      He’s so into yoga and tantric whatever…can’t imagine he smokes and drinks….but it might explain the dirty rumpled suit.

  • hughman

    If only his new band was called “The Fashion Police”.

  • MaggieMae


  • marlie

    This makes me sad on so many levels. 1) There’s none of the intrinsic Sting style and panache that we’re used to (the boring suit). 2) Even if this is “boring” Sting, the rumpled & mismatched suit and shirt make my heart hurt. 3) He looks completely lit up.

  • Hot. Mess.

  • Shawn EH

    Old man, go get new wardrobe!

    • Clueless_Jock

      And take lessons from Bruce Willis.

      • Shawn EH

        He really needs to WTFU! If he did, he’d probably win.

        • alyce1213

          Yes. WTFU or is it WITFU?

          • Shawn EH


  • SewingSiren

    Is he drunk? Did he think no one would notice that his collar button is undone and his shirt is super dirty?

  • Lisa M. (ReVoir) Kramp

    Still hot though, even though the clothes look slept in.

  • E2_Remote

    Hmph…didn’t know he was currently playing Alfred P. Doolittle, “a common dustman.” Anyone know who’s playing Eliza in this particular show?

    • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

      Courtney Love.

  • Imasewsure

    I had the same reaction to the thumbnail but I was hoping for “not boring/not banker” not “hope you don’t look like you slept in your clothes.” Strange… and disappointing…

    • marlie

      Compared to this, I’d be happy with boring/banker.

  • He’s so dehydrated from whiskey that he shrank, thus explaining the too-long arms on his suit/shirt and legs on his pants.

  • Joanna

    I think I rode the LIRR with this guy the other night – smelled of beer and smokes, and I changed cars because I couldn’t be sure he wasn’t going to hurl on me. (Such a shame – Sting is better than this.)

    • Bexxx

      Been there too many times to count. Though I honestly prefer that to the vomiting guidettes walking around barefoot on the drunk train. I hate this place sometimes.

  • JuliaInBlack

    Oh, Sting. So talented, so charismatic and still sexy… and you’ve damn near negated all of that for me with a saggy tie, shitty jacket and some PawPaw pants.

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      He does still have it,; so why not emphasize that be silmplly wearing a clean shirt that is properly buttoned, with a correctly fitted suit and tie that is tied? Is that too much to ask?

  • That’s really…. yeikes.

  • Barb Ray

    Oh Sting, really?

  • alyce1213

    Who the hell is that? I’m confused and sad.

  • jmorino08


  • Patricia Groves Dobrowski

    This is making me question my long-held desire to nail the man, dammit, and that makes me sad.

  • amanda siegelson

    good lord – when did his nose become a penis and balls????

    • mickiemonkey

      cannot unsee

  • lunchcoma

    Good grief, Sting. You’re a rock star, and if you want to do the grungy thing, you can get away with that. But you don’t do the grungy thing in a suit. As it is, I want to tell you to button your collar and iron your pants.

  • jonnyf8

    I don’t know. I’m pretty sure I’d still tap it given the opportunity.

  • Trickytrisha

    I can’t stop staring at his nose.

  • Isabel

    I read in one of the supermarket tabloids (a long time ago), that he doesn’t like to bathe regularly. Maybe he’s now including clothes.

  • Valdri8

    I love him so much, but he look more like Stink than Sting. Much sadness here.

  • DTLAFamilies

    God, lately I’ve been seeing some Male Stars of a Certain Age who look like they’re in late-stage alcoholism. Mel Gibson is their king, and it makes me very sad to see Sting as part of that group.

    • lunchcoma

      I’m a little concerned that this is going to be Fassbender in 15 years.

  • boweryboy

    He’s still hot, whiskey breath and cigarette sweat be damned. But did his nose always look like that or it is a byproduct of whiskey and age?

  • Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

    Sting, please refer to Willis, Bruce, i.e. Willis it the fuck up. You’re better than this.

    • MilaXX

      Yes and he’s quite yummy when he’s all cleaned up.

      • Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

        I completely agree. No shade on Bruce, but in light of my long-standing Sting love, I don’t want to live in a world where Willis has his act together and Sting doesn’t.

  • MoreShoes

    He looks as if he goes to a funeral. I used to like him, but when I heard him being very greedy in an interview, I stopped bothering.

    • Lea Setegn

      Greedy how? As a longtime fan, I’m dying to know.

      • MoreShoes

        It was at the time the Sugababes used one of his songs. He said during the interview: “they called me to ask for approval and when I heard it, I thought “cash”. ” He accompanied this with gesturing money.

        That turned me off, completely, He has so much money already and instead of saying something like: it’s a great song, they did good job with it” or something to that effect, he only thought about money.

  • mjude


  • kayehmwhy

    Is it me or does what he’s wearing make him look short. He’s a big guy!

  • amf0001

    he looks like the creepy uncle at the wedding. The creepy drunk uncle

  • cocohall

    This requires some sort of back story. I can only imagine that he wasn’t planning to be in LA for long. But he extended his stay and was invited at the very last moment to the Art & Film Gala. But he only had yoga clothes with him, so he borrowed the pants from someone taller and the jacket from someone smaller, and the shirt from someone who doesn’t own a washing machine. The tie he loosened and pulled off from a cater waiter. As other BKs have noted, there is whiskey involved along the way – because he looks like he is listing to the side. He clearly was DWI (Dressing While Intoxicated) because he SHOULD look horribly self-conscious in this attire, but he looks bat-shit pleased.

  • lobsterlen

    These photos should be a PSA with the caption … Friends don’t let Friends dress drunk.

    Does Sting have drinking problem? Seriously not only does he look drunk here but his face in these photographs looks like someone with a drinking problem. I had never heard anything about him having addiction issues. I always thought he was very health conscious. He should fire his publicist for allowing these photographs to see the light of day.

  • bizarro

    I have loved him unreservedly since I was a child listening to the Police. To me, he was the epitome of cool and his voice rings loudly in the soundtrack of my childhood. So it is with a heavy heart that I say this look leaves me “driven to tears”.

    • Sabin

      Compare to another young teen idol for me, last week’s David Bowie, and it’s that much sadder.

  • ashtangajunkie

    It’s all so saggy. Not him – he’s still got it. His suit lost it a while ago though.

  • SusannaGA

    ” … he looks like someone who got fired that morning, passed out on the subway after a bender.” TLo, you made me laugh. But he looks so completely out of whack that it’s kind of sad. Poor Sting.

  • majorbedhead

    Cater Waiter after a long wedding-banquet shift, during which he snagged drinks left on the table and, later on, tried to feel up one of the bridesmaids.

  • MilaXX

    You just know he smells of sex and cigarettes.

  • DonnaL

    I’m afraid that his face (especially his nose) looks like he’s on his way to W.C. Fields territory. He’s only 62, but looks a lot older.

    • Eric Stott

      What IS up with his nose?

  • ovarB

    I swear if you stare at these pics long enough, John Locke from “Lost” appears. Spooky.

  • formerlyAnon

    I do not believe those are his clothes.

  • ThaliaMenninger

    Remember when he was like the hottest thing alive? Yeah, not so much…

  • VicD

    He looks a little old to still be in the fifth form.

  • Nonmercisansfacon

    Those pants are all kind of terrible. You’re Sting for Pete’s sake! You deserve a pair of well-fitted pants!

  • e jerry powell

    And to think that I used to spank it daily to “Fortress Around Your Heart.”

    A tragedy, to be sure.

  • suzq

    I’m driven to tears.

    1982 Elvis Costello called and it wants his ill-fitting, black suit back.

  • quiltrx

    He used to always look SO put-together. I has a sad now.
    Come on, Sting….my true love Peter Gabriel is a year older than you and still bringing it in the grooming and clothing department. You can at least TRY for fuck’s sake.

  • calimon

    At least he shaved, eh?

  • e jerry powell

    I just realized which bloated gasbag he reminded me of in those longer shots:

    Randy Quaid.

  • ballerinawithagun

    What has happened to my Sting?

  • MannahattaMamma

    Dear god it’s your drunk uncle tony, come to the family dinner party where he’s going to grope all the girls, spill the dessert, and fall asleep on the couch drooling. phtooey.

  • Fannie Wolston

    Kicked out by naked by his Dominatrix he was lent a shiny suit by the bouncer…just my wag

  • Michelle Gennari

    Holy crap on a cracker. He looks like he just woke up, rolled out of bed and headed to wherever he is now. Ugh.