Jessica Alba and Benjamin McKenzie on the Set of “How To Make Love Like An Englishman”

Posted on November 05, 2013

Jessica Alba makes movies? Who knew?



Jessica Alba and Benjamin McKenzie spotted on the set of “How To Make Love Like An Englishman” filming in Malibu, California.

That’s a terrible title for a movie. This one obviously should be called Cute People in Monochromatic Outfits.

Man, WHAT is going on with the back of her dress? From the front, she’s kind of Generic Chic, but then she turns around and it instantly goes all cheap.

We like his sneakers. Other than that, he’s pure Divorced Algebra Teacher.





[Photo Credit: Goodwin/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES]

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  • RussellH88

    You mean that’s not Edward Norton?

    • calimon

      Right! That 3rd pic, with the squinty face.

  • Emily Dagger

    I know she’s probably changing into those terrible boots to be comfy between takes, but I prefer to think she is stomping on them, fully rejecting their clunkiness, spurning them with her heel, as it were.

  • sanna

    always surprised she gets hired to act…she can’t

    • GSMSF

      Yes, my first thought at the first line was, “Yes, she makes movies, but she doesn’t exactly act”

    • Kristin McNamara

      I was thinking: “Ben McKenzie makes movies? Who knew?”

  • This is the worst title of anything ever. The best thing about making love to an Englishman is the accent. Take that away, it could be any Neil, Basil or Alastair. Trust me, I’m international for a reason.

    • zenobar

      Mmm, preach.

    • RussellH88

      Maybe it’s like a reverse My Fair Lady in which a woman teaches a man how to fake a Cockney accent in the bedroom.

    • Heather

      Right. Plus, is this dude even English? I am confused….

      • Two things I can see to improve this movie already: 1) Change the word “Like” to “To” 2) Get someone – anyone – from Britain. Or anywhere in the UK. Oh, bonus: 3) Have the girls at The Lady do extensive coverage about how silly American women are over the idea of something they get to do at their leisure.

        • charlotte

          I actually read “to” until you pointed that out. Disappointed now.

      • kimmeister

        Benjamin McKenzie is most certainly not English.

    • Slanted & Enchanted

      I studied abroad in England (and fell in love with an Englishman, of course) and I remember telling him that old joke about how in hell the police are French, the lovers German, the cooks British, and it’s all organized by the Italians. He was like, “Oh, so in heaven the British are the lovers?” When I said it would be the Italians, he was super offended. “Have you ever had sex with an Italian? Nooooo! And how’s sex with an Englishman? PRETTY DAMN GOOD!”

      To be fair, he was an absolute pro so he had a point.

      • I am hi5iving you. (British men are not only adorable when indignant and offended, but set out prove you wrong immediately.)

        • Slanted & Enchanted

          Yesss! He would start ranting and then get more indignant because I couldn’t help smiling. The accent! It’s just too endearing!

          • I feel like this is a Transatlantic Sisterhood moment.

          • Slanted & Enchanted

            It totally is! Aaaaaand now I’m nostalgic for Leeds.

      • kimmeister

        Hmmm, I heard a different version of this joke in my microeconomics class, when talking about specialization. The professor said that in the idea world, the British would be the police, Germans would be mechanics, Italians the lovers, French the cooks, and the Swiss would run it all. Then the horror world, the Germans would be the police, French mechanics, Swiss lovers, British cooks, and the Italians would run it all.

      • Heather

        Awesome story.

        Well, in my experience (cough), he was right. Brits ARE better in bed than Italians.

        But I may have to do more research to be sure. 🙂

  • Danielle

    I’m SO bored looking at this.

  • marlie

    I like her dress – except for that awful back – though it looks like fairly standard business casual attire.

    • RebeccaKW

      Does she have padding in the hips/ass area? I don’t remember her being so curvy there.

      • marlie

        I noticed that too… I don’t know if it’s the cut of the dress, or the way that she’s standing. I don’t think (I hope) they didn’t pad her hips and butt, though I wouldn’t put it past the Hollywood folks to do it.

  • sagecreek

    Oh, that’s the guy from Southland! I lost track of him for a while. Possibly due to his tragic hairstyle choice.

    • kimmeister

      I still see him as the guy from The O.C.

  • Um….Mrs. Barney and Boring Smurf Realness? I don’t even know. I do know there is no way in Hell I’ll be paying actual money to see this movie.

    • zenobar

      I’m lately of the opinion that very few movies are worth paying actual money for.

      • Huh! Speaking of preach!

      • I pay out the nose for cable. I figure that’s my contribution to the industry. Sure, I see shit two years too late, but I’ve made peace with that.

        • random_poster

          I agree for this exact reason. There are very few movies these days that I actively seek out in the theater, most of which are driven by my kids.

          • I quit going because of smoking, back in the day. Movies got long, and my habit got bad enough that I couldn’t sit through, and the price of admission made it seem like I couldn’t miss a few minutes. Now I’ve quit, but the prices are even higher, so I’ll only go if it’s LOTR related. Because, I’m nerdy that way. And, you know; Netflix.

          • zenobar

            We go about once a year, and only if it’s something we’re all heavily into (i.e. the Harry Potter movies) AND that would justify big-screen viewing for maximum impact. This year’s outing will be “Catching Fire.” I’ve been saving for weeks :

          • Ooh, yeah. I’ll see that one. Two this year! I am lucky, because my b-day is around Xmas, so I get to have Hobbit-dates for it. I enjoyed it thoroughly last year.

        • marlie

          ON Demand is perfect. $5 to watch a movie maybe 6 months later, instead of $20-25 to see something IN the theater.

        • zenobar

          Exactly. We’re hung by the cable noose too, but if we’re desperate to see a particular movie I figure it’s worth paying the five bucks for a two-day cable rental. Especially since – unlike at the movie theater – we can audibly deride and mock the thing when it turns out to be crap. (Which it almost always is.)

          • Yes, and consume and imbibe and inhale whatever one prefers during viewing, which is nothing to sniff at either.

          • zenobar

            “What, I can’t bring this giant bag of white cheddar popcorn and this pint of Americone Dream and this very large bottle of hard cider in with me? Sheeeit. I’m going home to watch Drag Race on demand.”

            Actually that’s pretty much my favorite kind of night off.

          • Oh, yeah. RPDR marathon and about eight beers, plus Cheez-its. And of course, cats to stroke. Screw the cinema.

          • demidaemon

            Sounds like a good time!

          • You know it, brother 🙂

      • MilaXX

        I’ve joined free preview screening groups . I see a good 60% of my movies that way. Other than my nerd movies or movies I feel are important like 12 Years a slave, I wait for cable/netflix.

    • decormaven

      This will have to be on Netflix streaming and come with a coupon for free snacks before I’ll watch it.

  • zenobar

    Is he wearing chambray trousers? *shudder*

    • alyce1213

      If he’s in character, I forgive him.

  • AnnaleighBelle

    That dress is making Alba’s hips look bizarre – odd handles in the thigh area.

    • Loola234

      I think those are from her level 4 “I have to go pee, real bad” leg cross…

  • I thought those sneakers where WHY he looked like a divorced algebra teacher. (No offense, I’d hit it.)

    • marlie

      Hottest algebra teacher I’ve seen anywhere, ever.

      • Derek_anny

        My Middle School math teacher was hotter.
        I remember thinking he was hot at the time. I see him now almost 20 years later and think, “yep, I was right.” No, that’s not true. I think about… other things.

  • SewingSiren

    Ick. Did the wardrobe department just stick that heavy zipper on the back to make it edgy? Fail.

    • marlie

      Also, do zippers go all the way from the top to bottom now? Is this a thing? Perhaps so a lady can put on her dress without messing up her hair? It kind of ruins the line of the dress.

  • alyce1213

    If it were the 1960s and starring Michael Caine, I’d go to a movie with that title.
    I like her shoes.

    • formerlyAnon

      Well, of course.

  • ashtangajunkie

    She was either hired to act or to stand around and look bewildered. I can’t quite tell.

  • MilaXX

    I’d like her dress is it didn’t have the ass zipper. BTW- DO any of the BK’s remember that she and Kerry Washington were in Fantastic Four?

    • Supernumerary

      I try not to remember the Fantastic Four movies, as a rule.

      • My fiancé loves them. I’m thinking they are For Boys. (Or people with zero discernment for acting quality).

        • Supernumerary

          Or the more casual/less anal-retentive fan, I suppose. I’m a lady who enjoys her comic books, and both those movies were pretty unpleasant by my standards. Obviously, other folks’ mileage will vary.

          • True. He is a comic book guy.

    • I just watched “Fantastic Four” a couple days ago for the first time. Not my choice but my customer’s. Anywho, I got a good laugh and a couple good eye rolls because it was so cheesy. Also, Alba in that horrible blonde lace front wig. I mean, couldn’t she have dyed her hair just for that movie, though? Weird.

      • MilaXX

        I think she did for either the first or second with bad results.

        • I watched the 1st one. To me, it looked like a wig. If that was a dye job then YIKES.

  • Seeing Ben McKenzie makes me miss “SouthLAnd” even more.

    Eff you, TNT. Eff. You.

  • Mary Lauer

    That is a total Project Runway Dress. Vsible zipper: check. Useless decoration on the back combined with ultra plain front: check.

  • Tru Nguyen

    I hate exposed zippers so much. It cheapens so many cute dresses,

  • NYCGlamourpuss

    I loved the dress until I saw the back. Gorgeous and classy from the front, Forever 21 tacky as soon as you see the rear view!

  • boweryboy

    I like his shoes. Kinda confused why she’s trying to put on Uggs wearing her heels, though.

  • cakecakecake

    I wanna see what’s inside his pants though

  • Trickytrisha

    Purple looks good on her, but he’s kinda blah.

    • Trickytrisha

      Lol, a downvote for calling someone kinda blah?

  • PastryGoddess

    It’s obviously an all improv movie since everyone knows writers aren’t important

  • NMMagpie

    Ahh, Sambas. Always a good choice.

  • Blair Sylvester

    I am so glad Ben is in a movie. I loved the O.C.

    • Nikko Viquiera

      omg me too!!! squee

  • JDreesen

    that’s an even better movie title right there: The Divorced Algebra Teacher’s Generic-Cheap Date.

  • OMG! Sometimes guys, we have kismet. That is exactly what I was thinking about her dress! At first I thought, ‘boring but chic.’ She turned around and my immediate thought was, ‘high school sewing project.’

    • Anplica Fiore

      I can’t wait for those exposed zippers to be dumped and set on fire.

      • demidaemon

        I have a feeling–maybe it’s a hope, but big designers seem to fell this way too–that they are on the way out.

  • gloriana232

    Ugh, is that the new Coach Borough bag? I kind of wanted one, but now I really want one.

  • acevedob

    Damn Benjamin still looks good. I miss The OC.

  • CeeQ

    “The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill But Came Down A Mountain”. My all time fave. Title and the movie itself. I own a copy =D

    But yes, crap title on this one and Jessica Alba? Puh-lease. Zzzzzz.

  • kalisa

    Love the plum. Who’s bag?