Cover Girl: Cate Blanchett for Harper’s Bazaar UK Magazine

Posted on November 05, 2013

We give you permission to hate us for what we’re about to tell you. We’d hate us too.

You see, we really didn’t want to feature these pics today. “Oh,” we said in our best Miranda Priestly voices, “Cate Blanchett looking ethereal in couture. Groundbreaking.”


“Blue Jasmine” star Cate Blanchett covers the December 2013 issue of Harper’s Bazaar UK magazine in an Armani Privé Couture dress photographed by Ben Hassett.


On the hardest thing about film making: “For me, publicity is the hardest. I was trying to explain to someone yesterday that the decisions you make as an actor have to be instinctual, it has to come alive between you and the other actors. Maybe because I am a goldfish, when a shoot ends I leave behind the reasons I’ve done what I have done. To come back six months later and dredge all that stuff up for publicity is difficult.”

On performing: “I think the trickiest thing about performing is allowing yourself to be looked at. Some people feel very comfortable. Maybe because I am not from the social-media generation, I don’t really engage in all of that. That sense of constantly wanting to present myself is not something I do. It took me a long time to feel comfortable on-screen because the camera sees everything. It is so interesting when you meet an actor in real life and they look completely different. The camera sees something in their face, the camera loves them and they come alive.”


Armani Privé Fall 2013 Couture Collection

Armani Privé Fall 2013 Couture Collection


Yes, we’re horrible people. Jaded, even. We were wrong to treat such beauty lightly. You may boo.  But in our defense, at least we changed our minds at the last second.

Our goal now is to become so huge that we can hire an army of nervous, ambitious underlings, so we can really take our Miranda Priestly fantasies to their logical conclusions. Acting imperious to our cats only gets us drowsy disdain and a deliberate glimpse of their assholes.




[Photo Credit: Ben Hassett for Harper’s Bazaar UK Magazine, IMAXtree]

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  • Kiltdntiltd

    Oh but LORDY can our Cate serve it UP!

  • Emily Giovanni

    That second picture makes me slide right on up the Kinsey scale.

  • Jessica Freeman

    Let’s just call it the refreshment after the horror of SJP and the revealing Jaimie Alexander.

    • MoHub

      I believe it’s called CLASS!

      • Rhonda Shore

        it’s such a relief to see these after such vulgarity earlier today…

  • RussellH88

    I think humanity is evolving like in the X-Men and Cate Blanchett is a mutant with the power of YES GAWD.

  • foodycatAlicia

    That eyeshadow on the cover, like Claire Danes’ yesterday, is only to be worn for this sort of thing and not in real life.

  • lbl

    Honestly, I like everything about the cover but her. Something’s not working there, but I don’t know what it is.

    • crush on you

      You’re noticing that her face is not symmetrical, which always gives her an eerie quality. Happens with David Bowie too. She tends to play with that when modeling. In this picture it’s all there on display, and as she’s talking about such things in her commentary it’s fitting. I love it.

  • Introspective

    not that much of a visual leap yes. but she looks and sounds brilliant. so loving all of it. werq it out cate.

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      I recently came across “Oscar and Lucinda” on a cable channel, and my word, but Cate Blanchett was luminous in that film.

  • Nexli B

    “I am a goldfish.” Um, what???

    • Sobaika

      Goldfish have short memories.

    • StellaZafella

      Goldfish are very showy and always on display…but they also don’t have the capacity for remembering what’s already happened…
      I think she’s being self effacing about her greatness.

    • ThaliaMenninger

      Thank you for asking that question. I didn’t get it, either.

      • Tatiana Luján

        neither did I.

    • Qitkat

      The next time I don’t want to talk about something, that’s my line.

  • SewingSiren

    I think cats believe they are doing you a big special favor when they show you their asshole.

    • foodycatAlicia


    • DTLAFamilies

      Not to get all Srs Bsns, but it’s a submissive gesture. They’re presenting it for licking in an acknowledgement of your higher place in the household ecosystem. There’s like a Russian nesting doll thing going on with our three cats in terms of who’s licking whose. And now I think I’ve put myself off breakfast.

      • cbt22

        See, I never understood why everyone was always talking about their cats’ assholes. My recently departed cat never showed us his. This explains it–he was clearly at the top of the household ecosystem.

        • AnnaleighBelle

          Maybe your cat had what I call “fur pants.” Some cats have fluffy hair that obscures the view. I have both kinds of cat and the ones without the fur pants give a constant display.

      • conniemd

        Really? I always took it as a dominance gesture telling me they allow me to share their home with them and I better not forget it.

        • Kathy

          Yes! I’ve always felt my kitties were saying, “You may worship at my paws and kiss my fuzzy behind now.”

          • Ramon Figueroa

            Has anybody read Neil Gaiman’s “A Dream of a Thousand Cats?” It is brilliant, and you will never look at them the same again.

          • SportifLateBoomer

            thanks for the recco, will check it out. My cats rule my life and my home.

          • Kathy

            Thanks Ramon. This is on my must-read list now. :)

        • DTLAFamilies

          With cats, the licker is dominant and the lickee is submissive. With rabbits, the licker is submissive and the lickee is dominant. There’s a fantastic video online of a cat licking a rabbit and you can just imagine the thought bubbles over both their heads: I p0wn you!! HAHA!

      • AnnaleighBelle

        I had read that it is a friendly thing to do and the cat gets confused because you aren’t partaking of their offer of a sniff.

  • annabelle archer

    I’m irritated by the harsh over exposure. It’s uncalled for; she’s already a fair, light person. To make it all so stark is aggressive, ethereal overkill.

  • LipstickForPigs

    “… a deliberate glimpse of their assholes” is SUCH feline behavior. Thank you sirs. You’ve made my day.

    • TrixieConQueso

      Yes. That whole last line is Ultra-Fabulous.

  • Sobaika

    I volunteer as underling.

    • JLH

      This is why I need to scroll down before posting 😛

  • ms_kat

    The black and white photo is the surprisingly lovely. I’m not into flesh toned gowns at all, but the black and white offer enough contrast to be interesting.

  • decormaven

    Gotta love our Uncles! That last line has me laughing out loud. As for Ms. Cate, these photos don’t do her justice. More color, please!

  • alyce1213

    The eye is drawn to THAT FACE above all.
    I dislike the first dress, the second I like — and it photographs much better in black & white.

  • ashtangajunkie

    My senses needed this after SJP and that other “dress.”

    • alyce1213

      I feel much calmer now.

  • NurseEllen

    Woody Allen is writing for Bazaar??? What is the world coming to!

  • acevedob

    Can I be an underling?

  • Lori

    Cate is, as always, absolutely beautiful but I hate that cover. It’s so monochromatic. Worse, it’s monochromatic in an annoying noncolor. Blech. The B&W shot is great though.

    • MoHub

      I like the monochrome. It makes her look like a classical statue.

  • mjude

    I have to bow the fuck down.

  • HeatherMcIlrath

    what i would give to be apart of your army of nervous, ambitious underlings…..

  • Laura

    This is the perfect palate cleanse after those last two posts. Thank you.

    • Sarah

      Blanchett Sorbet.

  • MilaXX

    She is pretty and like her responses.

  • Catiline

    I… really don’t like that cover. It bores me, and that is a crime where The Blanchett is concerned.

  • SugarSnap108

    Thank any and all deities for this woman.

  • f_yeah_marie

    I absolutely love her answers. They’re refreshing and honest, especially compared to the generic tripe we are subjected to from today’s actors and celebrities.

  • Jennifer Bober

    LOL! Talk to the tail! I get that all the time.

    She does look ethereally beautiful and true, it’s not groundbreaking, but sometimes you just enjoy basking in the pretty while you hate her. It is a lovely amuse bouche after the last two.

  • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

    That black and white picture should have been the cover.

  • marlie

    The first picture is pretty, but the second is really, really lovely.

  • Qitkat

    If Sepinwall were reviewing this cover, that quote of hers would be his golden opening line!

  • JLH

    I volunteer as underling!

  • Shawn EH

    “Because I am a goldfish” could explain so much!

    • sleah_in_norcal

      i truly wondered what she meant by that. in what way is she a goldfish? i see no fins. she is not slippery and slimy. she is languid and elegant. does she live in a glass bowl? not getting the metaphor here.

      • Shawn EH

        They have no memories.

        • sleah_in_norcal

          do we know that for sure? perhaps with hypnotherapy….

  • Imasewsure

    “Acting imperious to our cats only gets us drowsy disdain and a deliberate glimpse of their assholes.” Yes cats are not proper minions…

  • heather adair

    Eh, I sort of didn’t want to click on the photos for the same reason. “Gawd, there’s more Blanchett llooking ethereal in couture……”

  • zuzu

    What kind of witchcraft have Blanchett and Kidman engaged in to maintain such perfectly pale skin despite being raised in Australia? I’m freckletastic, and I grew up in New Jersey.

    • little_miss_strange

      It is called Photoshop. And tons upon tons of makeup.

  • Miranda

    She looks like she could turn me into her minion. Scares me…but i can’t look away.

  • CeeQ

    Oh please – you guys are just ACHING for a reason to run out and buy a dozen fabulous coats each, that you can throw imperiously over the computer monitors of your terrified minions as you sweep thru the office in the morning wondering out loud why the HELL they changed the water at your local coffee place and if someone could PLEASE find their brain and locate that piece of paper Lo had in his hand the other day. Or was it T? Oh who CARES – FIND IT!

    I’d work the hell out of that minion job, by the way.

  • eandh99

    soo colourless, though – why on earth would anyone think they needed to make Cate Blanchette paler? Whiter Shade of Pale, it’s not just Vanity Fair’s themesong, it’s their raison d’être

    • Madam Von Sassypants

      You say that like pale should be a thing to be avoided. If you can rock pale like she can, for fuck’s sake, go for it.

      • Trickytrisha

        I adore this kind of style..creamy skin and pale hair blending with beautiful clothing in the right setting. It’s obviously not something many women can pull off, but Cate is the perfect example. For me this isn’t bland – just the opposite.

  • Jacqueline Wessel

    Lovely but colorless.

  • DeTrop

    She does Armani proud. Brava Cate Blanchett.

  • Winter_White

    Love the b&w image.

    TLo, for your army: I’m neither particularly nervous nor ambitious, and not young…but oooh, pick me! Pick ME! Because I will always be the un-jaded one voting for Beauty. I’ll be your Norman-from-The Dresser: “I just like things to be lovely. No pain, that’s my motto.” 😉

  • Zaftiguana

    I hear you, it’s a beautiful spread but I’m bored with this way of featuring her. It’s done to death, and she can do so much more. Save it for the starlets who don’t have more range. Honestly, I clicked on this mostly because you guys always feature good interview blurbs and she gives genuinely interesting interviews.

  • madscntst

    Did they Photoshop her head on the cover? It looks HUGE compared to the rest of her body.

  • SportifLateBoomer

    Acting imperious to our cats only gets us drowsy disdain and a deliberate glimpse of their assholes.

    –OK this is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. And so true! Thanks Uncles.

  • Cheryl


  •!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

    “My butt. Let me show you it.” – My cat, every morning.

  • NYCGlamourpuss

    I get what you mean, TLo, but DAMN! She just looks unbelievable! It’s like these kinds of photo spreads are made for her.

  • little_miss_strange

    Any sort of behavior directed at my cat earns a derp face and an invitation to rub his belly. Because he is a dog. The pointy ears and long tail do not fool me.

  • formerlyAnon

    She looks better in those frilly dresses than I’d have ever expected.

    (You might find nervous, ambitious underlings a bit annoying, after training on cats.)

  • JulieTy

    Gorge. But the thing that makes me want to buy the magazine is J.K. ROWLING!!!!!!

  • Ass Kicking Adviser

    If only you’d had children…..sigh…(to act out your Miranda Priestly fantasies to their logical conclusions of course…)
    Just kidding, just kidding. I understand the desire to turn away. The dresses are, in your own words, the color of old bras. But it’s Cate. And that in the end made all the difference.

  • PeaceBang

    She is a goldfish. I don’t know what that means, but I’m having what she’s serving.

  • Bethany Fairbrother

    She is exquisite. What do you want! That she put a clown nose on or dress in rags? She would elevate them just for being on her. That’s not to say she has made some faux pas in the past, This, however, is elegant and classic.

  • quiltrx

    That second picture is incredible.

  • ItsDicey

    I LIVE for that second picture.

  • luluransom

    Glad you came to your senses, uncles! We kittens never tire of Cate…

  • ItAin’tMe

    She is not a goldfish. They’re orange.

  • Gatto Nero

    “Don’t hate me because I’m ethereal …”
    She can’t help it, people!

  • María José Benites Peralta

    My queen always so beautiful and poise. I will never get tire of her, my forever girlcrush.

  • elzatelzabelz

    The second picture is just…Wow.

  • guest2visits

    I think Cate made both these dresses come to life.