2013 LACMA Art + Film Gala Red Carpet Rundown

Posted on November 04, 2013

Darlings, almost everyone wore Gucci to this event, which made for a rather boring sameness and means almost all red carpet assessments come down to whether that person can pull off Gucci or not.

Let’s rip these mothers.


Amber Valetta in Gucci

Jesus, Mary, and Oprah. Somebody get her out of view. Quickly.

She looks like a superheroine, halfway through her costume change.


Camilla Belle in Gucci

S’alright. Some wiggy-looking hair, for sure.



Dakota Johnson in Gucci

Enh. Seen it on a million magazine covers, worn by ladies with more presence.



Fergie and Josh Duhamel

Keeping it simple. Boring, but acceptable. She needs a hair consult.



Jamie Bell and Evan Rachel Wood

Also keeping it simple. They look great together.



Jane Fonda

Very pretty. She looks so much better when she’s not strapped into a skintight gown.



Jeremy Renner

Except for the pants hem, this is a great look for him.


Kate Beckinsale in Gucci

Pretty. A little like bathroom decor, though.


Mary J. Blige in Gucci

Pajamas. Fabulous ones to be sure, but still. Pajamas.



Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis in Gucci

Keeping it simple, part 3. It works.


Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in Gucci

If Rosie Huntington-Whitely can’t make this dress work (and she can’t), it should be burned immediately. It is a tool of Satan.



Salma Hayek in Gucci




Zoe Saldana in Gucci

We don’t know why, but we’re not loving this as much as we think we should. Maybe because those strips are all puckered. It’s distracting.





[Photo Credit: Jennifer Graylock/INFphoto.com]

    • cakecakecake


      • cakecakecake

        She clearly hasn’t learned since last week’s Geisha wig debacle…

      • Rand Ortega

        You can still hear the wood chipper in the background.

      • Calinda_L

        And face. I mean, seriously, from the shoulder blades up, she looks like she’s wearing a Halloween costume.

      • Kristin McNamara

        I think she’s having an “if Winona grew out her “Girl, Interrupted” hair just ever so slightly” moment. And it’s not going well.

      • decormaven

        Honestly, she’s two strikes in the wig department. The next one promises to be a doozy. Dear, you are too fine for such poor faux hair.

    • RussellH88

      Amber Valetta is offending my senses.

      • Lori

        Whoever told her to wear that clearly hates her. A lot.

        • decormaven

          Definitely should lose the contact info for that stylist.

        • LearnedFoot

          I think it was Victoria Grayson. Evicting her from the Hamptons wasn’t enough!

    • eowyn_of_rohan

      Awww, Evan Rachel Wood and Jamie Bell warm the cockles of my heart. They’re like a cockle microwave.

    • StellaZafella

      In my youth, I wanted to be Jane Fonda…
      I still want to be Jane Fonda.

    • hughman

      Celebrities aside, a lot of these outfits are just batshit ugly.

      • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer


      • Targettaste

        I always imagine the designer laughing as he/she foists this ugliness on celebrities who have the money and stylists to avoid these mistakes.

      • decormaven

        It’s like Ugly on Parade. Not loving any of these looks, Evan Rachel Wood and Jane Fonda withstanding. And most of my fondness for ERW’s look rests on her makeup and general good looks, and Jane’s for that fab choker and panache.

    • HomeOfficeGirl

      Surprised to see a Rosie misstep – that hardly ever happens. I’m digging Kate B. in blue…that’s a pretty fabulous look. Wish I could see Selma’s look from another angle – I don’t think it’s super flattering…

      • tereliz

        I would have loved to see Rosie in Dakota’s dress, ie, the editorial dress. I bet she would have knocked it out of the park. The shmatta they loaned her doesn’t have enough shape and the embroidery is giving her weird proportions.

    • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

      If I had told you that there were going to be a bunch of genetically gifted, surgically enhanced, beautiful people wearing Gucci, would you have ever expected so much fugly? For shame.

      • demidaemon

        I feel like this is a trick question, considering the collection everyone seems to have chosen their outfits from.

    • MilaXX

      Just when I was about to say how impressed I was that Fergie looks this good so soon after given birth, Evan Rachel shows up and knocks her off the pedestal. That bird dress and it’s many variations needs to die a slow and painful death.

      • Celandine1

        I was thinking more like immediate flaming death!

    • unbornfawn

      Jane Fonda for the win.

    • Alloy Jane

      How disappointing. You would think a gala at an art museum would result in more artisitc looks. Those feathered/fringed gucci dresses are hiddy. The only one who looks great is Salma. And Mary “PJs” Blige.

      • Imasewsure

        Mary PJ Blige.. Love it!
        Ignore the pants and she looks great in spite of it all

      • MoHub

        Salma is totally bringing it.

    • MW

      Evan Rachel Wood wins this one. I wanted to like Zoe Saldana’s dress – it’s definitely high impact – but the sheer panel doesn’t let me.

    • AndiMarie

      All I know is I got to see Jeremy Renner on a Monday. Swoon.

    • shirab

      Is Zoe standing with her hip cocked way out to the side, or is that an illusion from the cutout? Or some of both? Awkward, in any case.

      • Kristin McNamara

        Awkward? I was thinkin I’d like to get me some optical illusion clothing! It’s like she’s got her hip popped, but she’s standing up straight! I wonder if it were perform the same slimming magic on mere mortals….?

    • Rand Ortega

      Camilla Bell’s hair looks like it’s made of feathers.

    • Eva_baby

      Gucci totally Punk’d these people. Those feather dresses are just ugly. Nothing and no one makes them cute.

    • Rand Ortega

      I just love that look on Sudeikis’ face: “Bun. Oven. Mine. Eat it.”
      Salma Hyek is walking sex. I’m not into girls but I’d hit that like a whacka mole at Chuck E Cheese.

      Miss Jane, you still rule the roost with your hot ass self!
      I think Zoe’s going through a breakup. The smiles, the poses all looking like she’s aching inside.

      • eowyn_of_rohan

        Zoe just got married — I hope for her sake she’s not already going through a breakup.

        • Rand Ortega

          Wow. I hope not. But the last 2 times she was featured on TLo she looked stoned & miserable.

          • Katesymae

            Maybe she’s just over the RC right now. There’ve been lots of cute “out and about” photos of her lately with her man, so seems fine.

            • Rand Ortega

              I think/hope you’re right. I know I’d much rather be with my new, hot Italian artist husband than at some boring event.

    • Janet B

      That’s a lot of ugly Gucci.

    • Blair Sylvester

      Who knew that that Gucci dress that was more overexposed than Kim and Kanye had an uglier sister. Thanks for letting the world know Amber

    • http://skreened.com/bkcentral Sarah

      Mary J. Blige is officially Tha Bomb. She can wear jammies to my partay anytime. She is werqing them, and that giant clutch tassel.

    • GillianHolroyd

      Is Josh Duhamel the only guy who knows a good tailor?

    • slizzy

      Evan Rachel Wood and Jamie Bell look like they have tons o’ fun together. Adorable.

    • In_Stitches

      I think Dakota Johnson is oddly pulling that dress off. She went fairly low key with the styling and it brings the dress down to earth. It’s drama was sucked away, but in this case, that’s a good thing.

    • Sadie-Ann

      Dakota Johnson’s dress is the second evolution of Amber Valetta’s. I don’t want to see the third.

      • tereliz

        Sadly, I consider Rosie’s dress to be said abomination. *shudders*

    • NMMagpie

      That is the best Salma Hayek has looked in a while. Bravo!

      Rosie, on the other hand…

      • Vtg Fashion Library

        I’m going to blame Rosie’s issue on Daylight Savings time. Clearly SOMETHING has to be blamed, and it’s our go-to victim in Indiana.

        • TrixieConQueso

          Rosie’s dress is the same one the Vegas Lady ran and bought in the Lobby Shop at Ceaser’s when she won $1000 on the machine next to me… Yeah. I think she was from Reno.

    • marlie

      Amber Valetta wins the “WTF” award this round. Both her and Rosie H-W’s dresses should be burned.

      My favorite ladies are Evan Rachel Wood, Salma Hayek, and Zoe Saldana. Her dress looked better on her in other pictures on the interwebs.

      • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

        Yep. Zoe’s exaggerated pose shown here is both unnecessary and unflattering.

    • cocohall

      Are they ALL trolling us? This is just a clusterf*ck of ugly. Ouch. My eyes are actually hurting.

    • quiltrx

      Evan Rachel and Salma for the win.
      Otherwise way to much yikes AND way too much yawn. What an odd pile of fashion.

    • Trickytrisha

      Pretty much a fashion disaster area. The two Gucci feather outfits look lame, overused, and actually awful on those two. Camilla Belle look like she’s auditioning for a Cleopatra remake in a wig she found at Goodwill. I got a giggle out of Salma’s grin.

      The couples shine here, as does Kate B. I really love Zoe Saldana in that dress- is it moire fabric that looks like puckering?

    • kimmeister

      Jamie Bell is looking like … a young Prince Charles, or something. It’s kind of upsetting.

    • amanda lynn

      Zoe can tell that her uncles are disappointed as well.

    • ballerinawithagun

      Remember the shot of Drew where everyone was distracted by the woman waiting behind her with the over exposed breast and over exposed horrible Gucci ensemble? It was Amber Valletta! Those wings over the bust and that cheap looking fabric. Did they buy it at the party store and sew in a Gucci label???
      Salma should have worn her hair up but still fabulous.

      • gigi kennedy

        high five! i was like “gah! it was amber??? egads!”

    • Fannie Wolston

      Fergie looks a hot mess, sorry, but the hair, the face, the shoes, the nails and rings all look somewhat greasy. Nice dress though with nice arm candy

    • crash1212

      “Tool of Satan” – I’m using that all the time starting now.

    • imakeart

      Say what you want about Fergie – didn’t she just have a baby?? Talk about a bounce-back body.

    • Shawn EH

      Salma wins, but something’s weird when Fergie and Josh are the most suave ones on the RC. I’m scared of a dress that turns into a schmatta on RH-W!

    • ojosazules

      Wow. Gucci sucks.

    • KinoEye

      Fashion world, stop trying to make the winged Gucci fish dress happen. Much like “fetch,” it’s not going to happen. And it surely doesn’t work as some kind of weird top paired with vinyl pants. Is the damn thing cursed?

    • MrsJoe

      Anyone else guessing that Salma got to pick the outfits and said “everyone is wearing drab and boring or generally hideous EXCEPT ME!”