Hiddleston, Portman, Hemsworth at “Thor: TDK” German Premiere

Posted on October 28, 2013

It’s Monday morning. Shh. Let’s start off gently, with attractive people wearing non-threatening clothing.


Tom Hiddleston, Natalie Portman, and Chris Hemsworth attend the premiere of “Thor: The Dark Kingdom” in Germany. Natalie Portman is wearing a Christian Dior dress paired with a Richard Mille watch and Christian Dior jewelry and clutch.

Yes. Well. This all seems to be in order.

You are now free to hang your romantic or sexual fantasies on any (or all) of them, as a way of momentarily escaping the horror that is your impending week. Alternately, you could use them as virtual punching bags in order to vent all the frustrations you are currently experiencing in life; frustrations they have no doubt contributed to just because of their big stupid faces.

Celebrities. They’re here for you, darlings. Use them well and use them often.





[Photo Credit: Away!/PRPhotos.com]

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  • Are these people getting married to each other? How modern.
    Actually, Hemsworth wins this round as well. His is the only outfit with any dash whatever. That is not to say the others don’t look good, just hopelessly bland.

    • Eric Stott

      It has some dash, but that jacket is a very bad fit- the lapels aren’t supposed to do that when you button it. It looks as if he rented a tux without trying it on.

      • Indeed, its as trifle too big through the chest.

        • Bridget Smith

          Who would’ve thought Chris Hemsworth could ever have that problem.

      • alyce1213

        To me, it looks a little short too.

    • Nancer

      Indeed – “hopelessly bland” is now my new favorite saying! :]

    • Karen Belgrad

      My immediate first thought was to wonder which was the groom and which was the best man!

      • kburnell

        Hmm, these photos suggest that Natalie is marrying Chris, but is not-so-secretly having an affair with the best man. Her face in photo 7 says, “Am I really marrying a dude who just gave the peace sign?”

        • Calinda_L

          How is that not yet a party game?! “Marry, Affair, Kill”? I would also pick Hiddleston for an affair (just one of the many ways in which I am like Natalie Portman).

          • marlie

            Isn’t that essentially the same as Marry, F*ck, Kill?

          • Saraswati

            It’s the more acceptable version.

    • ShaoLinKitten

      Oh lord, you have just spawned a new fantasy for me. Imagine the honeymoon night for the lady in white… SIGH.

    • Bridget Smith

      I had the exact same thought re: wedding photos.

      However, I am so in favor of the three-piece suit that I don’t even think they look boring (and especially not with the three-party marriage narrative these pictures inspire!).

    • Danielle

      I would be happy to solve the bland problem by relieving Hiddleston of his clothing. Taking one for the team and all that.

      • bitchybitchybitchy

        You’re a brave woman-and thanks for volunteering to take one for the team!

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      After Natalie’s previous Dior misfire I’m simply relieved to see her looking bland. Yes, Hemsworth wins this round, such as it is.

    • kim bunchalastnames

      i don’t care if hiddlestone loses: he’s the one i’m using.

  • ccinnc

    Her watch is jarring. Otherwise, princess-y and beautiful. The gentlemen look fine.

  • carnush

    Natalie looks elegant. Chris is rocking the velvet.

  • SewingSiren

    Certainly an elegant trio for the opening of a super hero flick , seems more like they’re going to the ballet.

    • SugarSnap108

      Definitely more ballet than BAM! POW!

  • Kimmu

    All of my fantasies hinge on removing Portman from the picture and raising an eyebrow over how Tom has worn a very similar looking velvet jacket and how this one looks too small on Chris but would probably fit Tom better as he has a much shorter torso.

    The Hiddlesworth has been insanely strong this past week. May it please continue for the foreseeable future.

  • Sunraya

    She is boring and banal. That is all I have to say. Enjoy Monday. Grrrrrr…..

  • SugarSnap108

    Attractive people elegantly dressed – no major complaints from me. But Hemsworth’s jacket is too big, and the skinny tie looks odd — too much white shirt. I think Hiddleston wins (if this were a competition).

    • fursa_saida

      I have no idea why a skinny tie seems to be his go-to. It never works for someone that broad through the shoulders and chest. Plus, it’s making his face look bigger and rounder, somehow.

  • MilaXX

    This barely woke me up. They look like members of the bridal party.

  • Like a medium strength cup of coffee with cream and sugar. Just what a Monday morning needs. Seriously boring, though.

  • Ash Takarai

    Same boring make up on Natalie Portman

  • NMMagpie

    Nothing like starting off my week by getting Hiddlestoned. πŸ™‚

  • Julie Ree

    Is it just me, or is Natalie’s dress melting in to her skin in the first picture?

  • Hiddleston is just right on this dreadful Monday, with a storm hitting Albion! Now onto Coriolanus Tom!

    • So sad that I missed out on those tickets. Sigh.

      • Saraswati

        They will be showing a recording of the live performance of Hiddleston’s Coriolanus in theatres around the world in February. Go to NT live dot com for more details.

        It’s the only way we poor deprived Australian theatre buffs can see such things.

        Also Check him out in the Hollow Crown.

        • bitchybitchybitchy

          The Hollow Crown DVD set is on my Christmas list-Jeremy Irons AND Mr. Hiddleston.
          BTW-Last year I saw Patrick Page in Coriolanus in WAshington DC-my word, what a voice and performance.

        • Oh, I know they’re showing the performances, but it isn’t quite the same, is it? And I saw part of the Hollow Crown, I should really ask for it for Christmas.

          • Yeah, I know what you mean. I’m seeing Frankenstein at Haymarket on Halloween, but nothing beats Benedict’s naked creature on stage πŸ™‚

          • I saw Miller’s naked creature!

  • LadyCelia

    Big honkin’ wristwatch is NOT jewelry suitable for a gown. I don’t care how much they’re paying her to wear it.

  • HobbitGirl

    Oh, I would SO use Hemsworth well and often.

  • ashtangajunkie

    Monday morning Hemsworth. Helllooooooooooo.

  • acevedob

    I swear one of these days you guys (TLo) are gonna hit a “guy celeb breakdown”. They just dont stop wearing black! They just dont stop wearing black! (This time you guys were passive aggressive about it!)

  • Toby Wollin

    I was looking at photos of Cary Grant over the weekend – Grant believed his neck was thick from his days as an acrobat on the vaudeville circuit and he was very picky about the height of his collar (which is really all about the height of the collar STAND, actually), the spread of the points and so on so that his neck did not look too long or hulking. Hemsworth might want to look at some of Grant’s photos to get the idea. These small, low collars do not do him any favors, IMHO.

    • crash1212

      You have articulated and given an excellent example of exactly what I think every time I look at an ill-chosen collar height on a thick-of-neck/wide-of-jaw celebrity. There are SO many choices out there, you’d think somebody somewhere would figure out what looks best and stick with it.

    • Zubair Ghumro

      Till you didn’t say it, I didn’t notice at all. Now you have ruined Hemsworth for me…not fair!!

  • Calinda_L

    Lesson to all the five-foot-nothing-and-a-half actresses out there who borrow designer clothes from the runway and end up dragging an extra foot and a half of fabric along the floor: be born impeccably beautiful and be picky with your work so people think you’re a serious actress. Easy-peasy, presto-magico, you’ll be named the face of Dior and they will alter that shit to fit your body (especially your nonexistent height).

    That is to say, this dress fits her really well.

    • CT14

      Fit makes such a difference!

  • veriance

    ~yawn~ looks like a bridal shoot.

  • MannahattaMamma

    it just seems like a whole lot of fuss and fancyshmancy for a movie based on a second-tier comix.

    • not_Bridget

      Cinematically, it’s part of a successful & lucrative franchise. Are the folks who take comics seriously into fashion at all?

      • Kimmu

        Yes, there are actually quite a few of us who do take comics very seriously who are also into fashion. The idea of comics fans all being nothing but slobbering neckbeards is actually pretty false.

        And Thor is a respected character who has been around for a very long time and has had quite a few very well written and successful runs. He might be more of a niche book, but he’s certainly not second tier.

        • MannahattaMamma

          Hmm. Am a fan of comics, myself, and am happy to accept Thor into the pantheon; it’s more the appearance of these three suggests that they’ve just remade, I dunno, “sophie’s choice” or something, rather than…um…Thor. With all due respect to Thor.

          • sisterb67

            And here I was going to say I’ll just go sit in the corner with my latest “New 52” purchases and pout, but I’ll just wave to all of y’all instead and then get ready for some PRAS bitchery on Thursday πŸ™‚

      • Yes, we are.

      • fursa_saida


      • Tina Power

        Um, yeah. Like me. And well, Tom of our beloved Tom and Lorenzo so, um, yeah.

  • jonnyf8

    Why is Portman in the way? Whoops did I say that out loud?

  • CT14

    I love not only how happy Tom Hiddleston looks, but hoe he always keeps his thumb back when hugging a female costar: lest he give the appearance of taking advantage of a lady.

    Love him.

  • ThaliaMenninger

    I want to talk about the Google Doodle for Edith Head. Nat-Po’s white dress reminded me of Audrey in Sabrina, and that got me back to the Edith Head doodle. Does anyone know what the costumes on the doodle are from? (I realize this is way off topic, but, seriously, Edith could’ve designed that white number.)

    • Shawn EH

      The white one is for Liz Taylor, A Place in the Sun. And at least one of the chic suits is probably Funny Face. I’m not sure about the two red period looks. Though apparently most of Audrey’s Sabrina looks were actually designed by Givenchy and just sewn in Head’s studio.

      • marlie

        I’m pretty sure the green suit is from Funny Face. I actually watched it yesterday. πŸ™‚

        • ThaliaMenninger

          I agree on the white Place in the Sun dress. The green suit looks an awful lot like Tippi Hedren’s famous green suit in The Birds to me. The red dress on the far right matches a Jo Van Fleet dress in Shootout at the OK Corral. And I found a sketch of a Natalie Wood costume that looks exactly like the yellow dress with the matching coat. I just don’t know what movie yet!

          • ThaliaMenninger

            Ding ding ding! Yellow coat dress is Sex and the Single Girl.

          • marlie

            Oooh… you could be right. Also, Audrey’s suit in Funny Face was more of a tan-ish color, though the cut seems to be the same. Also also, Edith Head designed the costumes for the movie, EXCEPT that Hubert de Givenchy did Audrey’s Paris wardrobe. So maybe her suit isn’t even one of the ones featured in the doodle. I’m a big nerd; I love this stuff. Now I’m going to go down the Google rabbit hole to look up the other stuff you talked about. πŸ™‚

      • ThaliaMenninger

        With the help of a post below awaiting moderation, we have them all. Liz/Place in the Sun, Rosemary Clooney/White Christmas, Grace/To Catch a Thief, Tippi/The Birds and Jo Van Fleet/OK Corral. Thank you for filling in pieces and keeping me from going crazy!

        • Shawn EH

          You know, I had no idea Edith Head did The Birds, too!

  • Latin Buddy

    SERIOUSLY, she looks BREATHTAKING! I hate her because she looks stuck up but I think she looks incredible.

  • Laurie Cubbison

    I wonder how tall her heels had to be to stand with the two of them.

  • xay

    I have this urge to unbutton. So many buttons need to be unbuttoned here.

  • Nikko Viquiera

    I might print this and paste my picture on top of Natalie’s head. MIGHT. *sound of printing*

  • Fordzo

    Natalie Portman doesn’t deserve to be in that threesome. *I* deserve to be in that threesome.

  • Shawn EH

    Chris Hemsworth rocks a suit-vest better than all the rest.

  • Missing Kat Dennings.

  • valerie747

    I miss Grace Kelly ….

  • Janet B

    Very pretty trio.
    (Hate that watch with a gown, hate.)

  • MRC210

    I felt soothed and calmed by their perfection until I saw that watch. Now … gorge rising … cannot … enjoy .. Monday. Oh, and Hemsworth — don’t make that V-sign, it’s cheesy.

  • Glam Dixie

    Chris Hemsworth can be kind of hit or miss for me, but this is definitely a hit. That’s a lot of really attractive people in one picture.

    • Nikko Viquiera

      Yeah…Hemsworth..hit..i’d hit that.

      • Glam Dixie

        lol, yep, I have to admit it, I’d totally hit that.

  • formerlyAnon

    Such genetically blessed & carefully maintained people. And for my tastes they’re dressed beautifully, if (as noted) somewhat matrimonially.

    And it seems like over kill to reproduce here the last 2 paragraphs of your post, T&Lo, but they really are prime, prime examples of why some of us flock here with such devotion.

  • marlie

    I think they all look great. Nothing Earth-shattering, but all very well put together. But Tom H really needs to lay off the bronzer.

  • steeg of their own

    They’re all so pretty. SOOOOO pretty. But did Natalie’s husband give her that watch on a Very Special Occasion and now she does not take it off even when bathing? Because I cannot think of another reason why she would be wearing it with that dress.

  • alyce1213

    “frustrations they have no doubt contributed to just because of their big stupid faces.”
    There’s no better way to start the week than a huge, tears running down my face laugh. Thanks.
    It’s nice that they all look like they’re at the same event — these two boystars know how to dress up.

  • Goldie

    Natalie Portman must be wearing some insanely high heels or the guys are holding her up. She was on the Graham Norton show with Hemsworth and they were talking about how short she is. They stood up to make their point. Even with heels on, she barely made it to his shoulders.

    • BuffaloBarbara

      Well, we can’t see her feet. Maybe they gave her a box to stand on for the pictures or something?

  • MOTHERFUCKING BRONZER (guess what kind of week I’m looking at)

  • jjjoy

    that giant watch she’s wearing jumps out. i like that it’s super masculine in contrast to her otherwise forgettable dress

  • Imasewsure

    Boring boring boring.

  • Rebecca Clifford

    Did Natalie get a mosquito bite on her cheek?

  • i am now bored to tears. can i go back to bed?

  • DominoEstella

    Natalie Portman always looks the same.. no matter what she’s wearing or how she is styled. She’s possibly the most boring celebrity on the planet.

  • jw_ny

    I think they all look quite nice…no complaints here.

    (I guess I don’t need to vent today…)

  • KC

    I always wish that Natalie would do something interesting or daring with her fashion. She used to be my NUMBER 1 favorite actress (I am such a sheep, I totally j’adore Jennifer Lawrence…though I will say I think I stumbled onto her awesomeness before the lovefest began so I’m more of an original JLaw lover than others), and I often spend time wishing she didn’t have that POLISHED!ACTRESS thing going on that so many of her “caliber” have. I think you guys have talked about it before….these people become statues and don’t seem like real people anymore. But other than that, lol, I think she DOES look lovely…so there’s that. Also I was always bewildered by the Tom Hiddleston/Loki love before I saw him outside of the character. Now. I understand.

  • rondele

    “Celebrities. They’re here for you, darlings. Use them well and use them often.” O.k., now that is hysterical. I believe it should be your new (?) motto guys. Especially perfect for Monday.

    • kerryev

      I was just scrolling down here to note that I’m bookmarking this post for future Mondays.

  • not applicable


  • Pterodactyl111

    Mmmm … vests.

  • lorepottter

    Sorry Chris, standing next to Tom, i cant take my eyes of him